


A foxy roommate

by WarmDogFur (InnerChildUnleashed)



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Among the recommended tags when I wrote that last one was skull fucking, Fluff, Hidden bitter jokes that probably only I understand, I guess this is a serious fic now, I spent three years studying it for this and I'm very proud of myself, IM JUST FUCKING PROJECTING, M/M, POV changes constanly, Post-Movie(s), Psychology, Rated "cancer" by a FanFiction.net user so this is actually a really good fic, Skull Fucking, Smut, Some characters may end up being a little ooc, Things that'll make you want to insult me, Unpredictable events, You guys like drama?, yugioh arabia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:17:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 147,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerChildUnleashed/pseuds/WarmDogFur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you're new, it gets better from like the third chapter. "But I don't like the ship/the gay." That sounds like a you problem, dawg; you've signed a contract by reading this. Come on, there are pop culture references like in the good Family Guy and bad Simpsons episodes.</p><p>If you're a classic reader, it gets better with time. I'm not talking about the fic, that stays the same.</p><p>Judy "forces" Nick to spend a week with Gideon when the baker finally visits Zootopia, but what seemed like a week of "hey we're two gay foxes, let's spend these days fucking" turns out to be a drama-filled fluffy and smutty dark psychological thriller that you should read. Zootopia it's actually a sad place full of lonely people. If they ever found happiness, would they let it go?</p><p>No, seriously, it's not bad; the relationship makes sense once you read into it. The title is a lie. It's not a "meet and fuck", it's actually a deep and detailed story, perfect to be read before bed.</p><p>Please, read it and give me your input. </p><p>I'm desperate and lonely, my husband took the kids and last week I paid a guy $200 so he'd hug me.</p><p>(I swear it's not awful.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Saturday

**_Saturday morning._ **

"WHAT?! YOU SET ME UP?"

Many customers turned to look at the fox yelling at a bunny.

Wait, weren't those the cops that sent Bellwether to jail? Yeah, you know, they solved that case about the missing mammals and the animals going savage... what were their names?

"Nick, please, calm down. I didn't set you up with anybody... but he wants to see the big city and your apartment at least looks like an actual apartment. Come on, I don't even have a couch—"

"Is this because I told you I'm gay? What were you thinking? 'I'm Judy Hopps, I always know what's best for everybody, the only two foxes I know should get married.'?"

The angry and bewildered fox stood up, not even wanting to hear what she had to say. He left the café without paying his part; he was too focused thinking about this betrayal. Why would she do something like this to him? Did he ever say he wanted to be with anyone? What if she, for example, had asked him in the first place IF HE WANTED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP—?

"Stop overreacting!" Judy shouted from the door as she dashed towards him a few seconds later, but her voice wasn’t enough to stop him. He kept walking and, apparently, ignoring her; and she followed him trying to make him listen to her. "It's not a big deal! You'll just be a week on vacation, maybe showing him around, going shopping, sharing a wonderful lunch at The Carnivore's Den, exchanging opinions on how society sees foxes..." She was joking... for the most part, but Nick didn't know that.

In fact, each word that left her mouth made him even angrier. After all, that guy was HER friend, and last time he checked, his apartment wasn't a hotel. He wouldn't let anyone in his house just because she thought it was a great idea.

Now the fox was regretting telling her about his sexuality.

He came out to her two months before this, when they were drunk after celebrating his first semester on the force. He told her to keep it from everyone else because, even if they were living in the city where anyone can be anything, many wouldn’t have positive opinions on a homosexual fox cop. It’s a shame really, but not all mammals are as accepting as his best friend.

That’s why only a handful of people got to know about it: a coyote who was something like his secret lover during the last year he attended high school, Finnick, his mom, two wolves he scammed once, a few guys from the part of the naturist club we didn’t get to see, and Judy. He thought of telling Clawhauser too because he suspected he swung the same way, but assuming that kind of stuff isn’t right so he decided against it.

Needless to say, his love life was inexistent.

"Nick, please, it'll be just a week!" Nick's silence was starting to make Judy anxious; she didn't think this would be his reaction. "Look, last time I saw him he was feeling really down, and when you told me you were gay I just thought you two had one more thing in common. I thought that maybe coming to Zootopia would cheer him up, and I'm positive it will if he spends his time here with a cute fox that might share a few interests with him instead of with a dumb bunny who assumes she's right but it's actually wrong and very sorry." Now she was telling the truth. When she visited her parents three weeks ago she found her former childhood enemy worried about his business because someone started the rumor that he used night howlers in his pies and many potential customers hesitated before buying anything from him. Surviving exclusively from deliveries was practically impossible, and if things kept going that way...

He finally stopped. His serious demeanor remained unchanged, and in his gravest voice he asked "do you really think I'm cute?"

Judy didn't know what to answer. Was that all he got from her monologue?

When the fox saw her mouth quickly opening and closing and her nose twitching, he let out a deep sigh and went back to his usual self. "What was his name again?"

\---

After deciding that going back to the café wasn't the best idea, they ended up in Nick's apartment eating raw cookie dough and drinking ice tea after their breakfast interruption.

By the time they got there Judy had already told him the whole story (and was forced to admit that, indeed, he was a very cute fox.)

"Gideon Grey, the pie baker fox, huh?" He snickered as he put down his glass and grabbed his phone before sitting on his couch next to Judy. "Let's see what Zoogle has to say about him."

"He's on Snoutbook, but he doesn't use it much." Judy took a sip from her glass of tea as she typed on her own device. Gideon was texting her saying he'd be there on Monday afternoon. "Okay, he'll be here in two days. We should go to the station and see how many vacation days you have left."

"All of them, you never let me take any off."

"Fine, then we have to go and tell Chief Bogo you'll be taking this week off."

"I texted Ben on the way here, I'm already on vacation."

"Oh, okay then… uh… can you ask him if I can take Monday off? I wanna be there to pick Gideon up."

"Yeah, sure. Hey, Carrots, is this him?" For the first time in the last two minutes they stopped looking at their smartphones. Judy saw Gideon's profile picture on Nick's screen and nodded before resuming her texting. She didn't pay attention to her partner's face, but she should have if she wanted to have some good material to tease him with.

Nick was staring at the pudgy, smiling fox surrounded by bunnies who probably were Judy's siblings and thinking that maybe spending a week with him wouldn't be that bad.

'I don't know him at all but I feel the urge to hug him... wait, did I just think that? Shit, I must be having an aneurysm or something…'

“Hey, Gid wants to know things about his future flatmate. What do you want me to tell him? Any quirk I don’t know about? Maybe that you use three different shampoos?” She was joking for the most part; she knew Gideon wasn’t choosy; but maybe telling him that Nick could turn one jumbo pop into 200 pawsicles would impress him.

A few seconds later his reply came as a barely understandable mutter. "…tell him I'm single and that he can keep the bed if he wants to because someone like him doesn't deserve to sleep on a couch."

Unfortunately for him, Judy could hear him. "Yeah, okay, you're single and... what?" She lifted her head and stared at the... blushing?! fox staring at his phone. "You're kidding, right?"

Nick forced himself to put the device away to properly answer her. He liked what he saw, but the fact that just a picture was enough to make his sly fox façade falter worried him. "Uh... sure! Yeah, just... tell him that I won't bite him... NO, ah... tell him... to bring his own towel because I only have two... unless he wants to share..." He was mostly talking to himself at this point, avoiding the curious bunny's eyes.

"Oh my god, you have a crush on him or something? I mean, therapy did wonders to him, he's really nice and all, and he has this, uh… country look that may appeal some people... but you, reacting like this after storming out of Little Spoons 40 minutes ago because I told you he'd spend a week here? Pure gold!" Judy was struggling not to laugh like a hyena. Her teasing skills improved greatly since she started hanging out with Nick, who wasn't enjoying this at all.

After snapping out of the stupor the sight of the baker fox supposed, he retorted with a sigh. "I'd say hypocrisy, Carrots." He groaned and rested his muzzle on her head, admitting his defeat. "Why didn't you tell me he was that cute?" He mumbled tiredly, seeing her typing again out of the corner of his left eye and slowly swaying his tail.

It was her turn to snicker now. "Oh, no! Don't set me up with anyone ever... unless they're cute." She mocked him. "I didn't because I never thought you'd be interested. As I said, I'm doing this for him; I'm NOT setting anyone up."

He'd had to believe her if she kept insisting. But now that he had seen his soon-to-be-flatmate, maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea? "Hey... has he seen any pic of me?"

"Yeah, probably. You've been on the news a couple of times."

"Right, right... and, what if you sent him one? Just to make sure he... err... knows that I… uh…" He didn't know what to say, but he was sure he wanted his validation.

But after spending so much time with him, Judy was able to see right through him. "Nick, you want me to send him a picture of you to see if he likes you?"

"...please?"

"Gosh, where did slick Nick go?" Judy was having the time of her life. Who would have thought that Wilde was that easy to tame?

After making him plead (just a little) and discussing why he had so many pictures of himself wearing ragged shirts, she obliged and sent Gideon what she thought it was an inappropriate picture for someone’s introduction

"Come on, Carrots. It's just a little fur; he was showing some too on Snoutbook."

"What? No. He was wearing an apron with a shirt underneath!"

"Yes, but his chest fur was peeking out! He had two buttons undone!"

"...are you some kind of stalker?"

"...no... I'm very observant."

"Right..." Wow. Awkward. "Hey, he replied! 'You were right, he's kinda cute, but why is his shirt open?'"

'Yes! He thinks I'm cute too! That's like 80% of the work, right?.' His following words came out fast. "Tell him you caught me by surprise."

"I caught you while you were dressing? And posing? Yeah, sounds totally believable. As believable as your excuse to send the pic." Nick pretty much forced her to tell Gideon she sent that picture because maybe she couldn’t go pick him up on Monday and her partner would have to go by himself. Then the not so sly fox insisted on asking the baker what he thought of him. Good thing he’s innocent and oblivious, huh?

Judy was right, he realized, which made Nick freeze and stare wide-eyed at nothing in particular before wanting to bite his ears off. He had to settle for tapping the couch with his claws to alleviate his worry. "...I don't know, okay?! I can't think right! Improvise something!"

He stood up. Maybe sending that picture was a mistake? What if Gideon realized what the fox cop was doing? In any case, his pacing around the apartment didn’t help at all. In fact, it seemed like his nervousness was contagious and Judy stood up as well trying to face him. Sending it was his idea, his choice, so he had to deal with the consequences.

"You were the con artist, you do that!"

Once again, Judy was right; he used to rely on his lies to make his way through life.

He could do this.

For a moment he looked like a very determined version of himself. He walked to the bunny, took her phone, and started typing frantically... only to delete it afterwards. 'Okay Nick, something simple but meaningful... something easy to understand... something casual yet witty… yeah, this will do it.'

A moment later he gave her phone back.

"'idk lol'? Wow, great job. So... charismatic."

"Carrots, I'm panicking. I couldn't think of anything better!"

\---

When Judy Hopps left her apartment that morning, she didn't think she'd see the always cool and collected Nick Wilde hyperventilating and dragging her along to do some "I regret doing that holy shit what's wrong with me" shopping. He spent most of his paycheck on stuff Gideon might need while staying there and alcohol to drown his mistakes in, and he kinda forced Judy to drink with him that night, but they made sure to put away their phones to avoid having more regrets in the morning; just a hangover was enough. Besides, the looming threat of developing feelings for someone he didn’t even know drove him to do something Nick wouldn’t have ever done: asking Judy about Gideon. If he was going to fall in love like a schoolgirl, at least he needed to know if the pie baker vulpine was a nice guy.

And Judy… well, alcohol made it easier to speak her most honest thoughts on Gideon, but at three in the morning both her mouth and her brain were dry. Nick wasn’t disappointed in the slightest; as a matter of fact he liked everything she told him about who Gideon Grey currently was.

Unlike certain Jim Davis’s character, Nick was looking forward to Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, what will happen next? I have no idea! Literally!
> 
> Also I'm introducing a next level feature: a house map! Am I doing this because I don't feel like describing Nick's apartment? Probably!
> 
>  
> 
> http://warmdogfur.tumblr.com/post/147421660736/nicks-apartment  
> It's kinda basic and messy, but it's based on an actual apartment I've lived in. And the mismatching cabinets at the entrance? A gift from Finnick. Nick just couldn't say no.


	2. Sunday and Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's here! He's really here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in one writing session that lasted 16 hours. I did a bit of research, I cried, and I ate once.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

>[Hey Gid, about what you were asking yesterday, Nick’s couch is really comfy, and you’d need like 30 of my siblings to fill his bathtub] - 11:03

[That’s good to know! But I still feel bad for staying at his place]

[We don’t know each other and all that, and I don’t wanna be a bother]< \- 11:06

>[You won’t be, believe me]

[Yesterday he bought pillows, towels and blankets for you to use. He really wants you to come] - 11:08

[Oh]

[Okay then]

[But I wanna thank him somehow. Does he like pie?]< \- 11:12

>[Do you have any blueberries?] - 11:15

[Yeah, your parents’]< \- 11:16

>[Throw those in a foil pan and he’ll marry you ;D] - 11: 19

[I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship like that, but if he likes it, maybe I’ll have to make an exception]

[Thanks Judy, ttyl]< \- 11:21

>[NP!] - 11:21

 

“Blueberries, huh?” Gideon decided that it was time to close. He convinced himself that, for a Sunday, he had worked enough. He made his deliveries and kept the bakery open for a couple of hours waiting for customers that never came. But Sundays were usually slow, and he had a good excuse to close that early: he had to pack.

“Gotta look for my suitcase and prob’bly iron some shirts…” And before he realized, he was choosing the freshest blueberries from the box Bonnie Hopps gave him two days before.

Gideon couldn’t deny he had checked the picture Judy sent him more than once the previous night. ‘Well, he’s a fox too, and he looks good, but that doesn’t mean I like him. No, I don’t know him! I’m just baking first because… I need the pie to cool down. Yeah, that’s it.’

But throughout the day he kept checking it: when he took the pie out of the oven, before and after showering, while he was packing, when he was yelling at himself for looking so much at it… but in his defense, Nick was going to be the first fox he ever met outside his family. Was that an excuse for zooming on his bare chest?

‘I’m just curious, and Judy says he’s also into…’

…

“Augh, that’s it!”

[Hey Judy, mind if I take the morning train?]< \- 16:43

\---

[No mom! Gideon’s not bringing 20 pounds of carrots! Please don’t call him!]< \- 17:02

Sometimes Judy thought that bunnies like her mom were the reason why there were so many stereotypes about them. But could she blame her? She’d always be her little girl and… oh, an unread message from the aforementioned fox.

[Sure, but why the sudden change of schedule?]< \- 17:03

>[I’m usually up before sunrise, and I wanna make the most of tomorrow] - 17:04

[OK, then I think you’ll be here at 11:30. The train arrives at Savanna Central. We’ll be there by then, so don’t move when you get off]< \- 17:05

>[Alright]

[Can’t wait to see you guys!!!] - 17:06

[Same! See you tomorrow!]< \- 17:06

She knew what she had to do next: teas- err, tell Nick.

[Gideon will be here for lunch]< \- 17:08

>[what??] - 17:16

[He’s taking the morning train]< 17:18

>[why???] - 17:18

[Because he wants to]

[I’ll be at your place by 11:10]< \- 17:20

They didn’t exchange anymore texts that day.

\---

Nick didn’t react at all to the news. At least not apparently.

He just tried to keep his cool. That day he busied himself cleaning his apartment, washing the newly bought products, sharing funny pictures with Finnick… in a futile attempt to stop thinking about the pudgy baker. It wasn’t about liking him anymore, he was just nervous to meet someone new… even if that was unusual for someone like Nick Wilde.

‘Okay, I knew this was happening. Maybe not so soon, but it was bound to happen. It’s the first time I meet an equal, it’s only normal to be a little bit anxious.’

Just like Gideon, Nick didn’t know many foxes either, but unlike the younger vulpine, it wasn’t because of his residence or circumstances. No; he avoided them.

The behavior of the foxes that inhabited one of the northern districts was the reason why his species had such a bad reputation in Zootopia. Not many remember its real name since everyone that recalls that place exists calls it “the badlands.” The stereotypes about foxes are mere compliments compared to how those mammals usually behave. In the last three decades not one mayor had tried to solve the situation given there. Everyone gave up on them.

That’s why Nick’s parents moved to a prey-predominant district when he was a baby, because they didn’t want him to get involved in any of the growing conflicts while he was growing up.

To this day, Nick still suspects that the foxes that never left that place had something to do with his father’s disappearance when he was five. The police pretty much ignored his mother when she reported he was missing, but since she didn’t want Nick to hate the ZPD, she kept that from him; she knew what would happen if _he_ ever did something reckless…

Besides, hating members of his own species was enough.

Probably there were nice foxes scattered out there, but the only one he knew who resembled one was Finnick.

All in all, he didn’t know what to expect from Gideon, but if after all what happened between them Judy approved of him, he’d surely do too.

Some time ago she told him about the incident when she was nine, and among the topics they talked about the previous night, that was one of them. Thanks to her state of intoxication she was more open about it; she told him that she wasn’t that scared or traumatized. In fact, when the scars faded, the memory of that day served her as motivation. The feeling of accomplishment after retrieving the stolen tickets, being injured while on duty… it cleared up the doubts her parents tried to create: she was going to be the first bunny cop.

And that morning, when he woke up, Nick dwelled on that thought.

‘In a way, I’m where I am because of him,’ Judy said.

‘In a way, I’m where I am because of you,’ Nick thought.

\---

It ended up being an uneventful day for everyone, and a sleepless night for two nervous foxes.

 

Monday

According to Judy’s phone, it was 11:27

The train coming from her home just pulled a few feet away from where they were.

And she was mad at Nick.

On Saturday, when Judy asked him to text Clawhauser to get Monday off, he didn’t, which meant that she had to work. Her good reputation in the force allowed her to get the morning off after receiving a shouting from Bogo, but since she’d have to work without her partner, she’d spend the week as a detention officer alongside Gibson, a goat she’d only heard of. But now she’d have to put criminals literally in jail.

Well, maybe not criminals per se, but if someone was too rowdy, Judy Hopps would throw their tail in a cell. She’d have to be at the station at 14:00, so she could only greet Gideon and share lunch with the foxes. She wanted to make it easier for the vulpines to get to know each other a little better, but after Nick’s oversight she didn’t think he deserved it.

“Carrots, I understand it if you’re still mad at me, but will you act that way in front of your friend? What if he tells your mommy that you didn’t treat him right?” His façade, with sly grin and everything, was back on, at least momentarily. In this case, sleep deprivation was an ally.

Judy felt like punching him in the muzzle, but there were too many mammals around them.

After a swarm of young rabbits got off the train, she caught sight of a familiar haircut towering over them. Her mood changed drastically and waved at it with a smile. Nick followed her gaze and he saw him.

It was him, it was Gideon Grey! And Gideon Grey was carrying a suitcase and a big wicker bag! And Nick… wasn’t as nervous as he thought he’d be!

‘He’s a little shorter than me.’ Was the first thought that crossed his mind when he saw the baker. The second was a very witty commentary on the flannel shirt he was wearing. But Nick, who genuinely likes pawaiian shirts, wasn’t one to talk.

“Judy!” Gideon saw his friend from the Burrows and walked towards her reciprocating her smile.

“Gid! How’ve you been?” Judy opened her arms offering a hug to the pudgy fox, which was accepted as soon as he put his luggage down.

“Not too bad myself! Whatta ‘bout y’all?”

“Good, good.” Before they broke into a full bout of typical small talk, they broke their embrace and she introduced the foxes to each other.

“Gideon, this is Nick. I’ve talked to you about him…” Her voice didn’t change but she glanced at the taller officer with a somewhat sour expression before resuming her smile. She hadn’t forgiven him yet.

The addressed mammal wasn’t sure if they should shake hands, or hug like Judy did. He also thought about his accent. Wasn’t he from the same place Judy was? She didn’t sound like that, did she? “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Ta pleasure’s all mine!” Gideon found himself in the same dichotomy. Hug or handshake? When he saw that none of them was moving, he opted for the less invasive option. Maybe Nick was shy.

But Nick on the other hand let himself go and went in for the hug. The guy looked like a hugger to him.

In the end the slender fox was accidentally caressing the other’s neck, and Gideon’s right paw touching Nick’s left hip.

Judy’s face was unreadable. Were they…? Did they…? Now not even she knew if she had set them up.

But as soon as the vulpines realized what was happening, two whole seconds after, they broke away.

“Sorry…” The older whispered. Saying he was embarrassed is an understatement. He didn’t exactly look away, but he thought he’d die if he looked at Gideon, who replied a barely audible “’S okay…”

“We… should get going?” Good thing Judy was there.

They agreed and left in Stu Hopps’s pickup truck. Judy kept it after the night howlers’ case was solved. Now it was clean and a lighter shade of blue, but it still lacked a backseat, so Nick had to ride in the back like one of Gideon’s bags. He didn’t mind that much; his place wasn’t too far from Savanna Central Station. They just had to cover him and the luggage with a piece of black fabric she kept under the passenger seat.

Undignified? Probably, but at least he had time to calm down after holding Gideon.

But he enjoyed it, that’s for sure.

A few minutes later they were there. Nick received weird looks from the pedestrians that saw him get off of the truck, but ignoring looks from strangers judging him was a skill he had picked up a long time ago.

The three of them entered Nick’s apartment in the first floor, which Gideon addressed as “cute and cozy.”

Nick wouldn’t call it that, but he thanked him nonetheless.

It was 11:47 and, instead of carrying out Judy’s original plan of ordering takeout for lunch, they feasted on Gideon and Bonnie’s cooking. The wicker bag the fox brought contained, aside from two of his pies (one blueberry for Nick and one strawberry for Judy), many carrot-based dishes. Even after being told not to do so, the bunny matriarch forced her business partner to make a delivery in Zootopia.

Gideon said he didn’t mind though.

After a really enjoyable meal, Nick helped Gideon settle in. They’d share his room’s wardrobe for the week; Nick had a lot of free space. They made some small talk while they were at it.

“Oh, I have a shirt just like that but in green.”

“Would’ja look at that? Our toothbrushes are the same color.”

“I said it once and I’ll say it again: your pies are fantastic.”

“I use jus’ one blanket too. Mah fur is more than enough to keep me warm.”

Judy heard them from the kitchen/living-dining room, and it seemed that they were getting along just fine. If someone had told her two years before that her best friends would be two gay foxes she’d have died laughing, but now she enjoyed the situation very much.

She even forgave Nick for his mistake, but she still had to go to work. “Guys, I’ll be leaving in twenty minutes to get ready for work. Do you think you’ll be okay by yourselves?”

“Don’t worry, Carrots; I’m not gonna eat him.” Nick kidded coming out of his room followed by his new mate.

I mean flatmate.

“Yeah, in any case Ah’d be tha one eatin’ ‘im.”

Judy smiled to herself. Nick didn’t look nervous, which was a good sign. ‘I guess he realized he’s just a normal mammal, just like him.’ “Alright. I’ll text you later if I can hang out.”

After saying goodbye, the two foxes were finally alone together.

“Well… we are alone.” Nick pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” Gideon replied.

The slender vulpine remembered the reason why he wouldn’t spend that week alone, and it could make a good conversational topic. “So… Carrots told me you were having problems with your business?”

“Huh?”

“Someone was saying that you used night howlers in your pies or something like that, right?” Nick grabbed a black bottle from the fridge while and Gideon sat on the couch that would be his future bed.

“Oh, that! I took care of it. I talked to the kids’ parents. Everything’s good now.”

“Carrots told me you were feeling down. I’m glad you solved it.”

‘She also told me that’s why you’re here…’

The slender fox took two cold glasses from the freezer and poured some of the dark liquid in both. “Want some?” At this point it wasn’t exactly an offer.

“Sure, what is it?” Gideon had been observing him. Was that some kind of juice?

“Black vodka.” Nick said pulling the coffee table closer to them and putting the glasses and the bottle on it before sitting. “Don’t let the name intimidate you. I only like it because it tastes a little like blueberries, but it’s not strong. Is like a digestive medicine to me.”

The pudgy baker sniffed the drink, and yes, it smelt kinda sweet. After a sip he couldn’t say he disliked it. “It’s really good!”

“Told you.” What Nick didn’t tell was that he was doing this to put himself more at ease with his baker counterpart.

This wasn’t something he usually did, but he just wanted to cause a good impression, and if he had to resort to spirituous beverages to do so, he wouldn’t hesitate.

After forty minutes of talking about the places they’d visit and telling a little about themselves, and three glasses of the sweet beverage, they switched topics.

“Hey, Gideon… do you think Carrots set us up?” Nick tried to sound as casual as possible. It didn’t even bother him anymore, but he wanted to know the truth.

The shorter fox thought his answer for a moment before shaking his head. “I dunno. Her mom, sure; but her?”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…”

Gideon let out a loud guffaw, way louder than he intended. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

“If you say so…” He stood up taking their glasses to the sink and putting the bottle back in the fridge.

What Nick didn’t know is that a tipsy Gideon is also a playful Gideon. “Are you asking because you wanted her to?”

It wasn’t easy to catch Nick Wilde by surprise, but a fox he met an hour and a half ago just did it. Too bad he didn’t have any reward for him. “I… didn’t say that…”

“So you don’t deny it?”

This wasn’t the gentle and apologetic fox Judy told him about. Where was his nervousness? Where was his stuttering? God, he even made him blush! Maybe Nick shouldn’t give him anymore alcohol, because even his accent was gone.

When Gideon saw that Nick wasn’t turning to face him and that he was completely silent he worried. Judy told him he liked to tease his friends, but maybe he went too far; were they even friends yet? “Hey Nick, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

But the former con artist interrupted him before he could apologize. “Your accent is gone.” He finally turned and went back to his previous seat. He changed the topic to try to calm down, but maybe he was a little too sharp.

“Huh? Oh, yeah…” The baker looked down. Was he angry at him? Why was he mentioning that now?

“Why?” Nick didn’t really sound mad, just curious. In fact, he didn’t mind what the pudgy fox said that much; he actually liked it more than he was willing to admit, but he was still a little jumpy. He needed some more time until he could feel completely comfortable. This was one of those times in which he’d have to watch carefully, because he didn’t know Gideon yet, and who knew if he could be one of the “bad foxes.”

“I… don’t really have an accent anymore… it just happens when I’m around the Hopps…”

“Like a tic?”

“More like… a trauma.” Before therapy his dad took care of teaching him that violence is bad… with more violence. Now whenever he was around a Hopps he couldn’t avoid sounding like he used to when he was ten. It was like a punishment, a reminder of what he did. It truly was a breaking point for him.

But aside from that, he was thankful. Who knows how he would’ve turned out if that never happened.

“Oh…” Now he regretted changing the topic. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know...”

“It’s okay, Nick. You couldn’t know.”

“…hey, if it helps any, I also had a rough past.”

Gideon just shrugged.

Nick tried to comfort him rubbing his left shoulder. “Well… wanna go see the big city?” He believed he killed the good mood they were in by mentioning a delicate matter. Maybe he wasn’t as cunning as he thought.

“…aren’t you mad at me?” The baker meekly asked,

“What? No, why would I?”

“Because of what I said about… us… and you wanting us to…” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, but he didn’t need to; Nick understood.

“Don’t be silly, of course not! I mean, you caught me by surprise, but now I know you have a sense of humor.” He was wrong _;_ indeed _this fox_ was the sweet and apologetic guy Judy told him about.

When Gideon heard that, his mood changed drastically. He lifted his head and looked at Nick with a slight smile plastered on his face. “I guess.”

“And…” Nick stood up, slowly swaying his tail behind him. “…I also know you think I’m irresistible.” He gave him one of his sly fox grins and winked. Two could play that game.

His shorter counterpart giggled and rubbed his eyes; his poor alcohol tolerance made him more emotional than usual and his eyes wet a little. “I didn’t say that.”

“So you don’t deny it?” After a moment Nick couldn’t avoid to laugh himself. “Alright, ready to go see the great Zootopia?”

“You bet!”

They left shortly after. Gideon insisted on visiting many of the tourist traps he’d heard of back in Bunny Burrows, and now that he was going with a real Zootopian he could avoid being scammed.

Since Nick didn’t have a car, or a license for what is worth, they’d have to take the subway. But Gideon liked it; he had never been on a train before that morning. Besides, it was a very Zootopian thing to do.

\---

By the time they realized, it was 17:30

They didn’t get to visit many places; it was Gideon’s first day in the city and he was more amazed by his surroundings than anything: the skyscrapers, the many stores selling all kind of products, ‘Screens on buildings!’, and the fact that everything was sized for everyone; in the Burrows he’d have to struggle to find an establishment (aside from his own) with a door bigger than him.

Nick took pictures of the younger fox whenever he found a place he liked. They didn’t even leave the Savanna Central district, but even so he took quite a few. They got to know each other a little better, and that was Nick’s favorite part of the afternoon; they discovered they shared likes on a few bands and TV shows, both of them disliked peanuts, and both of them would only eat eggs if they were in an omelet. It wasn’t crucial information, but at least now he knew what to make for breakfast.

They also agreed on spending one of the following days in the local amusement park, but on their way home their rumbling stomachs told them where to stop. They found themselves in a restaurant ran by a family of hares. It was two blocks away from Nick’s apartment, but neither Judy nor he had heard of it.

Since it was a bit soon for dinner, they were the only customers there aside from an elderly couple of capybaras.

“You know what you’re gonna order?” Nick asked checking the menu.

“Not really. These all look like dishes Mrs. Hopps would make.”

“From what I tasted she’s not a bad cook.”

“Yeah, she’s gosh darned good,” Nick smiled when he heard that. Did Gideon’s accent come back because he was talking about a Hopps’ family member, or because they were in a place full of overgrown bunnies and they reminded him of them? “but since I’m in the big city I was hoping to try something more… meaty.”

“Excuse us for not having anything your species would like,” A female brownish hare retorted, appearing from his left. “but if you don’t like what we offer you can always leave.” When did she get there? She was taller than Judy, but not as tall as any of the foxes. The tone of her words matched the way she looked at them, and it wasn’t exactly nice.

“Uh, ah, no, no… I… I didn’t…” Gideon struggled to come up with an excuse and an apology, but Nick wouldn’t let him do so. He should have warned the baker about this; not everyone in Zootopia is as accepting as he might have heard.

“Yeah, the latter option sounds good. You should put that on the menu.” He wouldn’t let anyone ruin Gideon’s experience; he stood up and grabbed the shorter fox’s paw, commanding him to stand up as well.

“What’s the hurry now? You foxes came here to steal something?” An older hare joined the waitress. He was probably her father, and by the way he looked, the cook.

 “Exactly,” Nick replied, starting to walk away alongside Gideon. “but since you ran out of good manners, we’re leaving.”

“Manners? What do two fuckin’ foxes know about manners?!” The male hare inquired, raising his voice when the two omnivores walked out the door. If he said anything else afterwards, they didn’t hear it.

They walked fast all the way to Nick’s place, both of them silent, none of them letting the other’s hand go until they arrived at the building. It only took them two minutes to reach it, but even so, they didn’t seem to dislike the touch.

Nick had to let go to open the door.

When they were home, Gideon muttered a low “thank you” and sat on the wall’s side of Nick’s couch.

“No, you don’t have to thank me for anything. Those assholes are biased against us; it was what I had to do.” Nick sat on the other side, facing the TV, and scooted closer to him putting a hand on the baker’s right knee; it was pretty similar to what happened a few hours before. “Are you okay?”

Gideon waited a moment before replying. “…is this usual?”

And to his sad tone answered one of defeat. “…more than I’d like to admit.”

The younger fox sighed and looked at the older one with a sad smile. “I truly feel at home now.”

Nick understood what that meant, and the face that used to sport a grin at all times was now completely serious. “Does this happen in Bunny Burrows too?”

“It used to be worse… but since Ah started to work with tha Hopps some folks started to acknowledge me; some others… well, they like ta say Ah put poison in mah pies.”

The accent also came back when he was feeling insecure? And maybe… it also reappeared when he was around the Hopps because… he felt guilty?

What Nick realized was that if something like this could affect the rural fox so much, he couldn’t possibly be one of the “bad foxes.”

“It’s the same everywhere, I guess…” Gideon slowly nodded, agreeing with him, but before the gloomy mood could set, the older spoke again. “You wanna know my secret for dealing with this? I don’t let them know they get to me.”

“…that’s easier said than done.”

He was right. Compared to him, Gideon was way more emotional. He showed it if he was happy, he showed it if he was sad… his therapist told him to do so. Restraining your feelings isn’t healthy.

“You’re not wrong… but let me tell you something…”

Then Nick proceeded to tell Gideon the same story he told Judy. This time, instead of mentioning he’d be what everyone expected him to be, he stopped when he said he wouldn’t let anyone get to him.

The sight of the attentive and visibly saddened fox looking at him drove him to tell him something not even Judy knew. Maybe he wouldn’t let anyone know when he was hurt, but sometimes even Nick Wilde needs to express what he feels.

"Then I thought that if not only foxes but predators in general couldn't be trusted, if they were living in a world dominated by the still afraid prey, I had to create our own world."

"You mean like a city only for preds?"

"Not quite, what I had in mind was a theme park."

"A... theme park?” Now Gideon was confused. Did he want to cheer predators up with it? “Ah'm sorry Nick but I don't follow."

"A theme park exclusive for preds in which they could let themselves go, in which instinct overtook reason, a place for us, the feared predators, to be completely free. Away from judgmental looks and fear... I was gonna call it 'Wild Times'."

During Nick's monologue, Gideon's expression changed many times. At first he smiled; he'd like to visit a place like that. Since he lived in a rabbit-predominant state, things like grinning and showing his teeth were taboo.

Then he frowned; he knew really well how scared prey could treat preds, and he remembered hearing that the night howlers’ scandal was a free ticket for them to express their hate towards those they fear.

And finally, he had a doubt.

As if Nick could read his mind, he continued answering his unasked question. "Judy. Her... determination was greater than mine. I spent twenty years scamming people and saving that money hoping that one day my dream would come true... but time passed and nothing changed."

Gideon was absorbing each and every word the older fox pronounced.

"I was obsessed, paranoid about the money. In fact, I never got to spend any; I didn't even have a home. I either slept in someone else’s shack, in a friend's van or literally under a bridge. In all that time I couldn't find anyone who wanted to be a part of this: no architects, no construction workers... none of them trusted the homeless fox. Not that I can really blame them for that last part.

And then one day I met Judy, someone who gave me a chance; someone who had achieved her goal in life.”

A smile adorned his face momentarily before continuing.

“I'm not gonna lie, I used to be a little jealous of her success; but after being a part of the whole mammals going savage thing, I gave up. I saw how prey really is; I had no chance of succeeding because my idea would put even more distance between us.

If they were scared of the thought of animals acting like we used to many centuries ago, letting instinct take over reason, a place like Wild Times would be too dangerous."

Nick's sadness was evident. His voice cracked a couple of times as he spoke, remembering how things used to be and how devastating it was to realize that the only thing that kept him going would never be real.

Gideon wanted to hug him. He wanted to tell the fox that always acted as if nothing fazed him... something. He didn't know what to do or say to comfort him, but Nick opening up like this stirred something inside him.

Before the pie baker fox had the chance to say anything, the slender vulpine spoke again.

"That's why I'm a cop now, because I settled for Judy's dream..."

Gideon felt the urge to intervene. "Nick, you—"

But he was interrupted by the older vulpine. "Gid, please, let me finish. It's true, I settled for someone else’s dream, and for that... I wanted to thank you."

For a moment both of them fell silent. ‘He called me Gid…’

Gideon couldn't understand why he would do such thing. He didn't have anything to do with Nick's past; they practically just met. He already considered him a friend, but what could he have possibly done in the last hours to help him in any way?

He had no idea of what could be going through the former con artist’s mind.

"...me?"

But Nick, who had spent most of the previous day thinking about what he was about to say, was sure he was right.

"Yes, you. I know about what you did to Judy when she said she wanted to be a police officer. I'm not going to say that attacking her was right, but... you were to her what a muzzle once was for me: motivation. She told me that remembering that... that event was what kept her going when she wanted to give up."

Gideon started to understand.

He was the one who started this chain of events.

Nick stood up and knelt in front of the younger fox, watery green eyes looking into wet blue ones that threatened to stream freely in any moment.

He grabbed Gideon's soft paws and tried to force a smile to uselessly avoid crying himself. "Gideon Grey, thank you... thank you very much..." The aforementioned couldn't restrain his tears anymore, and now both of them had matching expressions. "because, without you, I'd still believe that living under a bridge is for the best."

The foxes were crying thoughtlessly now.

And at this point none of them knew how Nick had gone from ‘ignore the pain’ to ‘I owe everything to you, Gideon Grey.’

Gideon tried to calm Nick down lifting and hugging him, nuzzling his neck when his own tears started to recede.

"I-I-I'll be damned if I-I ever knew that someone would thank me for bein' a stupid kit." The younger fox tried to ease the mood, which proved to be successful when the older one let out a quiet hum that resembled laughter.

"Yeah... but you weren't stupid... you just had unsolved problems. Just like me."

After the two of them calmed down, both of their muzzles rested on each other's neck crack.

Gideon enjoyed Nick's soft fur, and his scent was now filling the baker's lungs with pure ambrosia.

Nick discovered that holding Gideon on purpose was even better than he imagined. He was soft and delicate, someone he wanted to protect.

None of them wanted to let go.

"They're already solved..." The younger vulpine whispered.

For a moment, the idea of making a joke crossed Nick's mind, but the truth was that he didn't want to mess this up. He didn't want to say anything. In fact, his lack of sleep and this session of opening up and crying left him really tired. He just hummed, approving of Gideon's statement.

\---

A few minutes afterwards, and even if they enjoyed each other’s touch very much, they had to wash their damp faces.

Nick took a towel from his wardrobe before following Gideon into the bathroom.

Now fresh water replaced their tears. Their faces were still wet, but they looked at each other in the mirror and both of them sported smiles that meant contentment.

Nick felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, but he also felt like he had to say something else, and maybe that something was…

“Thank you.”

“No, Nick; thank you. Thank you for telling me this and opening up. I… Judy told me that you were kinda distant but… now I know why and... I don’t think that you’re like that to me.”  Gideon hoped he said the right words because, after all, he wanted Nick to like him the same way he did. Having a heart to heart with your crush from two days ago is anything but common, but it sure makes you feel like you already have a special bond.

The older fox squeezed the baker’s shoulders from behind and whispered in his left ear “maybe that’s because you’re the first fox I really feel comfortable with.”

Gideon needed a moment to process that, but then his smile came back stronger than before. “I like being with you too, Nick.”

\---

Since they didn’t get to have dinner, they decided to order pizza. Gideon loved the idea because he could choose the ingredients, and unlike in Bunny Burrows, not all of them were vegetables. “The last time I had chicken was for my eighth birthday!”

They watched some TV while they waited for the delivery boy to arrive, but when he finally got there thirty minutes later, Nick had fallen asleep on the couch. After such a day, the older fox was overcome with tiredness, so Gideon paid for their food as silently as he could and turned the lights and the TV off.

After hesitating for a few minutes the baker chose to take his host to his bed. He carried him bridal style, avoiding hitting anything in the darkness of the apartment.

There, as he was carefully placing the slender vulpine on the mattress, he heard four slurred words that would either help him sleep or not let him sleep at all. “I like you, Gid…”

He didn’t say anything. Maybe Nick was completely asleep and he didn’t even know he said that. That didn’t mean Gideon didn’t want to tell him what he felt too, but probably there would be a better moment for doing so.

When he turned to leave the older fox spoke again, more clearly this time and in a mock hurt tone. “I say I like you and you just ignore me? That’s cold.”

Gideon stopped on his tracks and turned around showing the most satisfied smile on the most content expression he was able to make. He let out a little sigh before replying “I like you too, Nick.”

To the fox he addressed, he sounded like the most innocent and sincere creature ever.

None of them was showing any evidence, but both of their hearts were beating frantically.

And now that Nick was more confident about how to act towards Gid… “Would you like to sleep with me? I mean, the couch is comfy, but your pillow isn’t dry yet and I have two…”

The room was almost completely dark aside from the feeble light that came through the windows next to the bed, but if you paid close attention, you could see Gideon’s blush. “Ye-yeah, I’d like that.”

He walked around the bed and sat on its right edge.

“Wait, are you gonna sleep completely dressed?” Nick asked him. There weren’t any ulterior motives to his words, but he doubted he’d be comfortable like that.

“Aren’t you?”

“I’m taking my clothes off as we talk.”

Gideon’s mind wandered to unexplored places; he didn’t know what Nick was thinking about, but whatever it was maybe he wasn’t ready.

“I-I-I… I don’t…”

“Do you usually sleep with all your clothes on?” When he was wearing nothing but his underwear, Nick laid on his side of the bed again. He could only guess what his guest was thinking, but all he really wanted to do was sleep… and maybe cuddle with Gid, but only if he wanted to.

The pudgy fox finally seemed to understand that he truly was talking about sleeping. He got rid of his shirt and his jeans and laid next to Nick in the same fashion as him.

‘This is really happening.’ The both of them thought.

Their heart rate finally calmed down.

“Sweet dreams, Gid.”

“Good night, Nick.”

\---

One minute later Gideon was the big spoon.

It was hard to tell which scent belonged to whom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how was it? Any thoughts?


	3. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know there are quite a few fics out there in which there are problems between couples because of their lack of communication, right? This chapter is like hardcore porn for me in that sense.

Of course they wouldn't sleep twelve hours straight.

Nick woke up before midnight, both his bladder and his stomach requiring his attention. He got up, careful not to wake Gideon up, and looked at his silhouette before going anywhere. 'God, he's cute.' At some point he shifted in bed and now his butt pointed at Nick's side. Well, it wasn't a bad sight.

The slender fox quickly solved his business in the bathroom and went to the kitchen/dining-living room. What looked like an unopened pizza box on the kitchen table made him cringe a little; it reminded him of what happened a few hours ago. Not that he regretted it, but doing something like that wasn't really him. In a way he felt like he had overstepped his boundaries. But he got something he'd been wanting for two entire days in return, right?

Nick ate a couple of slices of pizza in absolute silence, realizing when he opened the box that he wasn't its first visitor.

Gideon wasn't as tired as Nick, and despite immensely enjoying his company, his stomach wasn't that satisfied. He couldn't survive on imaginary butterflies alone.

That’s why as soon as he heard the older vulpine's soft snores, he got up and went straight to the kitchen. Maybe it was because he didn't have any in almost two decades, but chicken tasted like a miracle to him even if it was on a lukewarm pizza.

He went back to bed after eating half of it.

Nick couldn't possibly know any of this, but Gideon fell asleep just an hour and a half before he got up.

When he was done eating, he sat on the couch. He had some thinking to do.

When he got back to bed it was almost three in the morning

\---

At 6:30 Gideon’s alarm went off. Good thing he was already awake.

He fished his phone from the pile of clothes next to his side of the bed as quickly as he could. He didn’t want to wake Nick because he forgot to turn it off after leaving Bunny Burrows.

But when he stopped it, it was too late; Nick was awoken.

The slender fox turned to look at his companion. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his tail.

“Mmmhey…”

“I’m so sorry; I didn’t know the alarm was on.”

“’S okay, what time is it?”

“Half past six.”

“Late enough for me.”

Waking up next to someone they met in person less than 24 hours ago wasn’t usual for any of the foxes. At first both of them were silent, but then, as if they were synchronized, they smiled at each other; their reason for being there was a very convincing one.

“Yesterday you said you liked me.” Nick said. He sounded like a sleepy version of the sly fox everyone believed to know, but the underlying feeling of happiness and… something else was undeniable.

“Yeah, you said it too.” Gideon replied in a similar fashion. Even his eyes were half-lidded. Was he sleepy as well or was it something contagious among foxes?

“And… you still think the same?” The officer on vacation (mostly) jokingly asked as his slim paw was welcomed by a plumper one.

“Well…I didn’t have time to change my mind.” The pudgy baker kidded back squeezing the other’s hand.

But they were nervous. Was any of this right?

Nick couldn’t stop thinking this was going too well. He wasn’t used to have what he wanted, so why would it be any different this time?

Gideon enjoyed being with Nick, but he didn’t know until what point. He couldn’t say they had any type of relationship. Did he want a relationship? Did Nick? Did they want the same? Did they even mean the same when they said they liked each other?

Their doubts drove them to break their touch, and only their pupils maintained their position in the other’s eyes.

Gideon tried to push those doubts to the back of his mind; maybe time would answer his questions.

But Nick on the other hand wasn’t so patient. He felt like he couldn’t afford to waste any more time, two decades were more than enough.

“Do you think we rushed things up?”

“Huh?”

“We met yesterday, twelve hours ago we said we like each other and then we slept together.”

“Nick-“

“And I don’t want to put any pressure on you, because… you really feel the same, right? I mean, you didn’t feel forced to say you do, did you?”

This wasn’t the somewhat distant fox Judy told Gideon about.

“No, Nick. I really do-“

“Because I… I don’t know. It’s like I went too far. Maybe you weren’t interested but after what I told you you felt pity or-“

It’s not easy to trust someone when you spend more than half of your life deceiving people. But Gideon didn’t have any reason to lie.

“NICK!” The pudgy baker had to interrupt him. Nick was insecure, that was obvious, and Gideon had to make him realize he meant what he said... even if he himself was still unsure. “I like you, I really do like you. Gosh, I’d even say I love you...” Nick eyes went wide. Did he just say…? “You’re right, we met yesterday, but I feel like I already know you; like I can trust you. I… I can’t explain it… maybe it’s because I… I’ve never really been with anyone and you are the first fox I’ve ever met… or maybe because we were made for each other, I don’t know! I’m just happy I met you and I wanna spend time with you.”

Nick was still in shock, ‘He loves me…?’ but he listened closely to everything the other fox said. Gideon was insecure too, but if their feelings were requited, what was the problem?

“I… I know what you mean,” After taking a moment to absorb everything he had just heard Nick could talk again. “It’s like my… my instinct is telling me to be with you.”

“Yeah. I guess we’re animals after all…”

“Yeah…”

They both turned to look at the ceiling. Why were they feeling so defeated if they agreed on what they felt? Now they knew what the other was thinking. Were they still nervous? Did they regret confessing?

No.

That made no sense.

“Hey, Gid…” The slender fox propped himself up on his left elbow. When he had captured the baker’s attention he said what they both needed to hear. “I think I love you too.”.

Of course everyone is scared of the possible consequences when they fall in love, but love entails certain risks: you can get hurt, you can lose everything you have, you can lose yourself… but at that point, Gideon Grey and Nicholas Piberius Wilde didn’t care.

At least, they didn’t seem to care.

Just like they say in every cliché romantic movie, none of them had felt anything like this before. The only difference was that, in this case, it was true. Instead of butterflies there were grasshoppers leaping in their stomachs, and in place of two actors playing the roles of a couple were two regular mammals.

Gideon stretched his left hand to touch Nick’s face, and the slender fox reciprocated the action.

Slowly, they got closer to each other, green and blue irises facing at every moment, until finally there was no distance between them.

At first their muzzles just brushed against each other, but they shared a common goal.

Their first kiss could be described as “experimental.”

They just wanted a taste of the other, a confirmation of what was happening. It wasn’t hungry, it wasn’t chaste… their first kiss was intimate. A moment they’d never forget. A proclamation of their feelings.

When they separated, their faces matched; both were blank.

The next second their reactions matched again; they were laughing hysterically.

This was going fast, really fast, just like their hearts were beating, and they had to admit it was scary, but they couldn’t afford to care at the moment. Right then all they needed was each other, and right then they had each other.

Who’d say they’d end up like this just three days after seeing a picture of each other?

**…**

“Hey Giddy, what if we take a picture?”

\---

Judy wasn’t enjoying her temporal position.

Why would chief Bogo designate her to detentions? She even missed being a meter maid; at least then she had something to do!

Her first day with Gibson was… uneventful, to say the least. Nobody was put under arrest, and she spent her shift texting her siblings.

Gibson wasn’t really welcoming or a very talkative partner. In fact, to this day Judy hasn’t heard him pronounce a word; he just grunted to communicate with her.

If it wasn’t because he didn’t know her, at least in person, she’d say he hated her: he wouldn’t let her sit at his desk, the only one in there, or do any paperwork. He made sure she knew she was unwanted

But Judy was tired.

Even if she was one of the best officers on the force, trying to convince Bogo to assign her to any other position was pointless, and since she didn’t want to spend another day reading how fast carrots were growing from a few hundreds of different bunnies and answering the same questions over and over again, (‘Yes, I’m doing good. No, Nick’s still not my boyfriend. No, I haven’t seen any corpses yet.’) she’d spend this one with Clawhauser.

The receptionist didn’t mind sharing his donuts with her. Besides, Clawhauser’s cheerfulness could be contagious. Sometimes.

“(…) and that’s why Nick’s on vacation.”

“But isn’t Gideon your friend? Why didn’t you take the week off?”

Clawhauser might be innocent, but he isn’t dumb.

“Well… because I can’t let the ZPD down! Being a cop was my dream, Ben! Would you take a week off your dream?”

Who knows if that was the real reason, but it sure sounded convincing. At least to Judy.

Before the cheetah could answer her question she received a text. She thought it’d be one of her siblings asking about dead bodies again, but she was wrong.

“Speak of the devil…”

Gideon sent her a picture with the caption “ur a great matchmaker. thank u very much.”

It’s a selfie of her two fox friends, and… Gideon is holding Nick? Wait, are they shirtless? Is that Nick’s bed?!

And what’s with the caption?! Wait, Gideon doesn’t write like that…

[Nick?]< \- 06:44

>[no im Gideon]

[gosh darn]

[see?] – 06:45

[Sure]

[So you two are like…]

[Together?]< \- 06:47

>[of course]

[Gideon is in the bathroom now]

[but we`re spending the week together]

[i mean]

[im Gideon gosh darn i make pies] – 06:49

[Congratulations, I guess]

[I can’t say I’m surprised]< \- 06:50

>[thanks?] – 06:51

“Oh, they sure are getting along.” Clawhauser commented with apparent nonchalance after taking a peek at the picture Judy received.

“Uh… yeah…” Judy couldn’t tell the truth; Nick didn’t want anyone to know, and Gideon… well, Clawhauser didn’t know Gideon. “You know, fox meets fox, and they… err… become best friends… uhh…” It was obvious she wasn’t used to lying, but at least Ben didn’t pressure her.

But this bugged her a little. She knew for sure Nick could convince anyone to believe the sky’s actually red, and she also knew he thought Gideon was attractive... what were his intentions? Judy wouldn’t say she didn’t trust her best friend, but when you have a past like his…

She didn’t want any of them to get hurt.

>[wait]

[im not sure if youre calling me attractive or a whore]

[or maybe youre calling gid a whore]

[youre an awful friend] – 06:55

[I DIDN’T MEAN THAT]

[I’M JUST SAYING THAT YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND YOU GO GET IT]< \- 06:57

>[now youre calling all gay people whores?] – 06:58

[NO]

[Anyway, I’m glad for you guys if you’re happy, but Nick, please treat him right]< \- 07:00

>[He’s the perfect gentlemammal, Judy]

[see? Im treating him like a king]

[i even made coffee] – 07:02

Judy had to put her phone down before reading those three last messages because certain cheetah had been reading the rest along her and she was forced to shove two donuts in his mouth to stop him from squealing.

“FO FIFH IFH FAY?!”

“Ben, please, please please PLEASE, promise me you won’t tell anyone.” She had failed Nick. He didn’t want anybody in the precinct to know, and now someone knew. And that someone was fond of gossiping. And that someone talked to many officers every day… ‘I’m a dumb bunny. Nick is gonna eat me. And Gideon too, probably.’

Clawhauser ate his gag with ease and spoke in the calmest tone he could, which still was a few decibels over his regular one. The fact that he was grinning like a Cheshire cat and pushing his cheeks up made the whole thing worse.

“So… yes?!”

With a sigh of defeat Judy nodded.

“I knew he was on my team!”

“Wait, what?” The bunny looked up at the smiling feline who was now typing on his own phone. She had to admit Benjamin had always been really… “feisty”, but that doesn’t mean anything. Anyhow, she wasn’t expecting that to happen.

“Don’t act surprised, Judy.” Clawhauser replied matter-of-factly without lifting his gaze from the screen of his device.

“Ben, I just-“

“It’s okay.” He interrupted her calmly, putting his phone back into his pocket. “It’s not like I tried to hide it.”

Judy didn't know what to answer. They never talked about that kind of things; she didn't care much about it. But she did care about the promise she made Nick, and seeing Clawhauser texting someone as soon as he knew about his sexuality worried her. "Uh, Ben? Who did you just text?"

"Chief Bogo."

"What?! Why?!" Did he tell him about Nick? Was it really necessary to inform their superior about that? Would Nick be in trouble?

"Because now he owes me twenty bucks."

"...excuse me?"

"Wellll... we made a little bet: many people think you two guys are together, but the chief and I thought you weren't. We talked about it and he said you were "too professional" for that and I said he just wasn't into you... and I was right." Clawhauser felt a little guilty after admitting that, but hey, he just won 20 dollars.

Judy wanted to do many things at the time: punch Clawhauser, punch Bogo, ask why they didn’t ask any of them first, and ask why they talked about that kind of stuff. ‘Talk about unprofessional…’ She had to settle for the last one for her own sake.

The feline pulled his own "sly cheetah" expression and simply said "Because the chief and I are a little unprofessional ourselves."

"What do you...

…

Oh. Oh! OH! OH, YOU TWO ARE-!"

Now it was his turn to shove a donut in her mouth, or at least try to: it just reached her nose, but the effect was similar. "And since we're going to keep Nick’s secret, you're going to keep ours. I'm doing this because I trust you, Judy."

It was fair. It wasn't like the Clawhauser she was used to, but it was fair.

"Tell Nick to come over for lunch, you guys can have the money."

"...do you really feel bad or do you just want to meet Gideon?"

"...yes."

Judy tried calling Nick to no avail, 'Has he lost his charger again?' and settled for the next best fox. Gideon answered his phone, she told them what happened, and after a brief conversation with way less yelling than she expected, the vulpines agreed to Ben's offer.

Nick’s reaction to Clawhauser news was a simple “I knew it.”

Aside from that, not much happened that morning: Clawhauser told Judy about the officers that were LGBTQ+ 'What do you mean Francine was born a Frank?’ Nick posts on social media made less sense than usual ("squishy. soft. good.", "a smaller bed with two tails is for the best", "cats with horns are real", a picture of ten bags of flour on his kitchen table...), and Gideon, who was actually Nick using Gideon's phone, texted Judy things like "i purr when nick touches my hair", "im very strong and i can lift nick", "grocery", and "holy shit carrots my oven really worms!

...

*works"

When the real Gideon discovered what his romantic interest had been doing he apologized to Judy, but she didn't mind that much; it wasn't like she had anything better to do.

\---

Around 12:30 the foxes appeared at the police station. Judy was chatting with a tired-looking Clawhauser. He enjoyed talking to people, but six hours of “Tell me how Bogo is when he’s not wearing his uniform” could tire anyone.

Nick greeted them in his usual demeanor and a somewhat shy Gideon was being observed by Benjamin. That made him a little uncomfortable, and if you add that to his involuntary accent you get a furry and stuttering bundle of nerves that, in Clawhauser’s words, “is perfect for Nick!”

After Benjamin and Gideon introduced themselves to each other the cheetah guided the group to Bogo’s office. He knocked twice before entering displaying the smuggest of smiles and stretching his hands.

If it was someone else entering like that the buffalo would probably gore them.

At first Bogo ignored him and laid his eyes on the pair of foxes.

“Wilde, is he…?” His voice was stern and his expression would make babies cry, but he secretly hoped they’d crack under his pressure; the bet with Clawhauser had been going on for so long that losing now would be like losing one year of his life.

That’s too dramatic.

Well, he just didn’t like to lose.

“Yessir!” Nick mock-saluted and looked at Gideon out of the corner of his eye.

The baker fox was a little intimidated and unsure of what to do; he thought of imitating the other vulpine but eventually he nodded under the pressure of being wordlessly asked if Nick was telling the truth.

This admission only made Judy’s doubts grow. ‘They really mean it, they’re serious…’

Bogo let out a deep sigh trough his nose and fished his wallet from his back pocket. He handed a twenty dollar bill to Clawhauser, whose expression hadn’t changed since they stepped into the office.

“What, no kiss or anything?” The cheetah half-jokingly inquired. It seemed like everyone was picking up Nick’s ability to tease people. He’d miss being the only friendly asshole around.

But Ben was lucky looks can’t kill, because Bogo would have enjoyed that very much at the moment. He’d have enjoyed kissing him too… maybe after killing him just a little bit.

Soon after Clawhauser convinced Rhinowitz to cover for him behind the counter for thirty minutes and Judy went to get changed. Her shift ended at 12:00, but learning about her chief’s morning rituals was more important.

Benjamin and Gideon left the building first since the cheetah wanted to get to know the mammal capable of stealing Nick’s heart and Gid’s politeness didn’t allow him to tell the feline no. The pudgy fox tried to tell him they weren’t really sure of what they were yet, but that only intrigued Benjamin even more.

And Judy used the moment the slender fox had created when he said he’d wait for her to ask him what she wanted to know. She tried to sound casual, but Nick was the one who knew her best; she couldn’t fool him. He could pretend she could fool him, though…

“So… how did it happen? Did you confess or…?” She trailed off, pretending not to care about his answer.

“Eh, it was something mutual.”

“Really? I mean, Gid told me he’s never been in a serious relationship…”

“Uh huh. He told me about a… ferret? But it was more of an experiment.” He wasn’t that interested in having this kind of conversation with anyone, but he took her question as mere curiosity at first.

“Oh and… is it serious? You met each other yesterday, and one day is, like… not a lot of time.”

“Who knows? Six hours are enough for some people.”

“Well, yeah… but-“

“Judy.” Nick cut her off. He used her real name; she understood he was serious.

“…yes?”

“Stop.”

“What do you-?”

“I know what you’re doing. Please, stop.”

Subtlety wasn’t her forte, both of them knew that. She sighed and accepted her defeat. “Nick, I’m just worried about you two.”

“We’re adults; if something goes wrong it’ll be our problem.”

“Aside from my family you’re the people I care about the most. I don’t want any of you getting hurt.”

“I don’t want that either…” But he wouldn’t tell anyone he also thought it was crazy how fast everything was going. ‘We’re just getting to know each other’ or ‘we’re just having fun’ weren’t excuses he wanted to use. He wanted something stable, he wanted someone to be there for him when he was feeling down, he wanted someone to share his darkest secrets with… he was lonely.

He didn’t want anyone to know, but it was the truth.

They walked up to the two chubby mammals waiting for them in silence.

\---

Clawhauser insisted on going to Bug Burga, Gideon wasn’t used to fast food restaurants and was willing to try, and the not so dynamic duo didn’t care much about where to go; suddenly none of them was hungry.

Benjamin took care of the silence that threatened to set in by asking Gideon about his job. ‘Oh! Judy didn’t tell me you were a baker!’ Actually the pudgy fox wanted to bring a couple of treats for Nick and Judy’s colleagues, but his police counterpart wouldn’t let him slave away during his free week, even less after learning that was the first time he ever took a break from work.

Once in the establishment Clawhauser helped Gideon with his order, and the other two officers settled for a couple of juices.

After finding a place to seat at, the chubbier mammals realized something was wrong between Judy and Nick. Gideon thought it’d be better not to intervene, but Benjamin…

“What’s with the long faces, you two?” He asked before taking an unhealthy bite off his first burger. Cheetah’s appetite I guess.

Nick didn’t even look at him, but Judy, who was sitting next to Ben, put on the best fake smile she could and answered. “We just… have differences on what to do while Gid’s in town. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, she always knows what’s best for everyone, even when she has nothing to do with anything.” The former con artist muttered under his breath. Gideon was next to him, so he heard him clearly, and the bunny’s hearing allowed her to hear him as well.

“Nick, I told you, I’m worried about-“

“About what?!”

At this rate, having scenes at restaurants would become something usual.

Nick knew her well enough to know, or at least suppose, what was all this about: trust issues. Didn’t they get over those a long time ago?

“I… I told you. I don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

Both Gideon and Benjamin were really confused. ‘Is this about going to the theme park?’ The baker thought. In his mind, Judy was still the innocent bunny who once said she wanted to be a cop; unable to think badly of anyone, someone who believed in justice above anything else, someone who still saw the world through rose-tinted glasses.

But he was wrong. Judy learnt how life really was, and she also learnt that happiness wasn’t easy to get.

She was legitimately worried about her two fox friends: she was aware of their “lack of experience” when it came to relationships. Nick was right, maybe she shouldn’t have said anything, but unlike him she didn’t usually hide her feelings, and she just wanted the best for both of them.

Nick was angry. You could tell by the grip he had on his plastic cup, but before he could say anything he’d probably regret afterwards, Clawhauser intervened again.

“Judy, don’t you think they know what they’re doing?”

Benjamin Clawhauser of all animals actually understood what was going on.

He had to go through something really similar when he told his mom about wanting to be a police officer, or being gay, or being in a relationship… because, just like Judy, she worried about those who were close to her. Perhaps a little too much sometimes; and perhaps not enough about herself, but she worried too.

“Ben, this isn’t what you-“

“Judy, I’m not the loud and dumb cheetah you think I am.” She was taken aback by his words, but sadly, he wasn’t wrong. Judy never got completely ridden of her prejudices. “Hey Gideon, do you enjoy being with Nick?”

The addressed mammal thought they were talking about physical pain, so the question caught him off guard. His answer was a serious look and a couple of quick nods.

“And Nick, do you enjoy be-?”

“Yes.” The slender fox cut him off with a monosyllable, but he wanted to say much more.

The two vulpines spent the morning learning more about each other. There were things they didn’t get to talk about, but it was clear they shared those: they had problems just because of what they were. Both of them were foxes.

And both of them had spent too much time by themselves.

Finding someone alike, a confidant that would understand them, was nothing less than a miracle.

There were many things they didn’t share, but why would they focus on those when they had a whole lot of other things in common? The two foxes considered to have found an equal, and at the time, none of them had any complaints about the other.

What if they liked different TV shows or different deodorants? Love’s blind, deaf, and has no sense of smell.

Love is a feeling.

But “love” is a strong word too.

And they also shared the lack of it.

“I don’t see the problem here, Judy.” Clawhauser settled.

She had to understand this wasn’t her battle, and it seemed like the cheetah got the point across.

Now she was feeling bad. She wanted the best for everyone, but it wasn’t her duty to decide what the best was. She looked down at her cup and nodded. ‘It’s their life, you dumb bunny.’

After a moment of tense silence filled with Ben’s munching, Nick spoke up. “…I’m sorry, Carrots.”

“Huh?” She tried to look at him, but his head was down too and his eyes were fixated on his own cup.

“I bet you had good intentions, but I thought you… you know… don’t trust us.”

“No!” ‘I’m not sure’ “That’s not it, Nick! I… I’m just a nosy bunny. I should apologize for-“

But Gideon’s idea of what was going on couldn’t stay on his mind anymore. “Is this about the theme park, Judy?” He was dead serious. The previous argument made him a little mad too. “We’re not kits anymore, you know?” Well… his reaction made that debatable.

Everyone stared at him.

“What?” The rabbit asked as she unconsciously raised her left eyebrow.

“We’ll ride on the Ferris wheel if we want to! And the rollercoaster too!”

Clawhauser bursted into laughter after hearing that, and Nick had to hide his grin behind his cup.

Luckily for him no one realized he didn’t speak in his accent, not even himself. But he wasn’t feeling like doing any explaining at the moment.

Even if he wasn’t the insecure and rage-filled fox he once was, Gideon could still get angry. His pride and self-esteem might be damaged, but there are little intact bits that, when handled the wrong way, could make anyone fear him.

The guffaws, which the bunny had joined when she understood what was going on, didn’t help at all, but when the fox next to him grabbed and squeezed his paw, he calmed down.

They explained it was all a misunderstanding, and Gideon himself ended up laughing too.

Good thing he had no ill will.

\---

During their somewhat tumultuous lunch, the Cheetah “convinced” the two foxes to go out and have a drink.

“You know that place, ‘The knotty playground’?”

“Isn’t that the gay club that got closed after Gazelle’s crew was caught with their weight in molly?”

“THEY WERE FRAMED! But yes. It’s under new management; now it’s a super chill lounge bar with colorful cocktails, special happy hours and cute bartenders.”

“Okay, sure. What do you say, Gid?”

“Sounds good ta me! ‘Sides, I wanna experience tha big city nightlife.”

Clawhauser also invited Judy, but she declined. She said she needed to fix her sleep schedule. She wasn’t lying, but she also needed to talk to her mom. Anytime she was feeling down, a long conversation with her about nothing in particular always helped.

It was hard for Judy Hopps to forgive herself whenever she made a mistake, and even if she tried her hardest, she couldn’t always learn from them.

When Nick got home he turned his phone on and sent her a text.

[thx again for setting us up]

A joke would surely lighten the mood, right?

She read it, but she didn’t reply.

And here they were now; it was 20:03 and Nick, Gideon and Clawhauser were waiting for Bogo inside the bar.

Ben didn’t lie; the place was really nice. It was clean (that was a novelty), chillout music was playing at an almost inaudible volume, the lighting made everything look lighter, white couches formed open but intimate spaces that resembled the classic booths you’d find in places like this, and its personnel seemed really friendly.

The slender fox approved of it. Whoever was running this place now knew what they were doing. ‘A honey badger you said, Ben?’ But the only thing he could think about at the moment was how the usually stoic buffalo would behave outside the station. ‘Bogo drinking. Bogo… dancing, maybe?’ and above anything else, he was eager to see him interacting with Clawhauser.

A really fit lynx served them a smile and what Ben called “pink panthers” each and they sat at one of the small tables close to the entrance so it wasn’t hard for Bogo to spot them. Nick and Gideon sat together, and Benjamin sat on the opposite couch waiting for his partner.

The drinks were sweet; in fact it was almost impossible to tell they were actually alcoholic, which could either be beneficial or harmful depending on how the night evolved. But the foxes saw the lynx pouring tequila in the cocktail shaker; not that they really cared since they didn’t have to wake up early the following day.

“So, Ben, how come you’ve convinced Mr. Serious to go out on a Tuesday?” Nick asked referring to Bogo, saving Gideon from another flurry of questions from the cheetah.

But he couldn’t really blame him; he had spent most of the day doing the same. The vulpines sure were taking seriously the ‘knowing each other’ part.

“Oh, well, it’s actually thanks to you. Remember that time you told him he’d have a heart attack if he didn’t take it easy? Because he does.” Clawhauser answered casually before taking a sip of his drink.

They engaged in small talk, and before any of them could realize, the fourth member of their party had joined them. Nick was the only one surprised to see him wearing a salmon shirt and… smiling at Clawhauser and the bartender?! when he got there.

The buffalo ordered his beverage and sat on the spot reserved for him before giving a quick kiss to Ben.

“Hubby, this is Gideon Grey, you met this afternoon.” The cheetah put to good use his likeability and introduced them without using the word “boyfriend” because he never got to hear it from any of the foxes.

The baker fox, who had had time to finish his drink, stretched his right paw to shake the buffalo’s hoof. “Nice to meet you.”

That was the first time he spoke that night, not because he didn’t want to say anything previously, but because he thought that alcohol consumption might dismiss any question about the accent Clawhauser had heard that afternoon. He liked the cheetah, but people with such a lively personality weren’t his forte.

“Macario Bogo, likewise.” Was the police chief’s reply, who couldn’t avoid looking at the other fox, who was practically staring at him. “Wilde? Are you okay?”

Oops, he had been caught.

He had to compose and scold himself for breaking his character before answering in the coolest way he could. “Yeah… a little shocked, though. I thought your first name was actually ‘chief’.”

“Very funny, Nick.” Bogo highlighted the fox’s name, which surprised the vulpine because his superior had only pronounced it three times since he started working as a police officer. “But since we are off duty, I’ll let you address me by it.”

“Alright… Macario.”

The buffalo told the group that the lynx who served them told him the next happy hour would start at 20:30, which was in seven minutes. Clawhauser told them the new owner thought that having happy hours that changed daily would be a good way to attract customers, and whoever they were, they weren’t wrong: the place wasn’t crowded, but there were mammals sitting at almost every table.

The cheetah practically dragged Gideon to the bar; they’d wait until the clock hit the hour and they’d come back with drinks for everyone.

“Like a little kit with a new toy…” Nick commented when they left. Clawhauser sure liked meeting new people.

“Ben seems to like your… Gideon.” Macario replied. He was friendlier than Nick once thought, but that didn’t mean he was any good at making small talk.

“Yeah… I like my Gideon too.” The fox said, mostly to himself. A second after a devilish smirk crossed his face. “Are you jealous, Mac?” If he wasn’t at work, teasing his chief wouldn’t get him fired… right?

“No.”

But at heart he still was Chief Bogo.

“Are you?”

“What?”

“You heard me, Wilde. Do you fear that Ben might steal Gideon from you?”

Was he serious?

“No, I don’t...”

Why would he say something like that?

“Are you sure? Because I know Ben really well, and sometimes he can be surprisingly persuasive…”

Oh!

“You’re joking, right?”

“Yes, Nick.”

It’s true; Bogo’s sense of humor could be a little twisted at times.

Nick and Gideon were still unsure of what they were; both of them avoided the direct topic during the day, and Judy’s doubts made his even worse. He tried not to worry about it, but it was hard. So his joke backfiring was actually a heavy blow for him to take.

But, once again, he wouldn’t let anyone know.

“Hah… you’re bad, Mac. I’m going to go help them bring the drinks; surely they’ll need my muscles.” A light joke and a mock flex of his arms and he was waiting next to the chubbier mammals.

Right then, his brain told him to do two things: hug Gideon and drink.

\---

One hour after the three predators were, at least, tipsy. Bogo wasn’t fond of alcohol and the ride back home was on him, so he stuck to iced tea.

Around fifteen minutes prior this happened:

An unidentifiable creature stood in front of their table in absolute silence, his eyes shifting among the four of them, but before any of them had the chance to ask him what he was doing or what he was, he handed Bogo something that resembled a business card.

“First Unit of Real Synthetic or Organic Naturalized Animals?”

Macario didn’t understand what that meant. Was that… thing artificial or what?

“Or FURSONA, for short.” The creature finally spoke. His voice was both monotone and cartoonish. A strange combination for a strange being, I guess.

Clawhauser, who had enjoyed five of those pink panthers by then, raised his paw and asked “why… are you red, and purple and… and blue, and y-yellow?” slurring his words a little.

It was a legitimate question; that creature’s fur didn’t look natural or healthy for what it’s worth. And, for some reason, he was wearing an explorer costume. Perhaps he got lost on his way to one of those comic conventions?

The “fursona” didn’t answer his question, he just nodded. No one could really tell what his intentions were; his face was blank and his hands were interlaced behind his back.

Nick, who was a little less intoxicated than the other predators, asked “what are you?” coldly: he was having a good time and a weirdo interrupting them wasn’t something he wanted.

The colorful explorer nodded as he did before, but this time he replied shortly after. “I'm a mammal that resembles a wide variety of canidae. I’m here to mate with you.”

Okay, that was… bold.

Clawhauser burst into laughter when he heard that and Gideon giggled into his glass, almost spilling his drink over himself. Nick and Mac didn’t find him that entertaining; they looked at him in mild disbelief, the fox with a hint of anger too.

The… canine? didn’t look fazed at all. He fixated his eyes on Gideon, making the baker stop giggling after seeing that prominent snout pointed at him.

“What are you?” The creature inquired in his robotic but squeaky voice.

“Uh… a red fox?” The question caught the pudgy vulpine off guard, and in his state he wasn’t sure of what to say.

“Good. I’ll have sex with you first.”

That was it.

Bogo stood up trying to intimidate him, but it proved to be useless, not because the buffalo wasn’t able to do so, but because at the same time Nick, who was on the edge of his seat since that thing opened his muzzle, lunged at him. The fox gripped the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the buffalo, who quickly grabbed his forearms, immobilizing him.

“Listen to me, fuckhead. If you don’t leave us alone, I’ll bite your throat out.” It was a low growl, exclusively audible for the threatened creature.

“Kill him, b-boys!” Clawhauser cheered.

But that “fursona” didn’t even blink. “I understand you don’t want to take part in-“

Nick’s right fist didn’t let him finish his sentence; he had had enough. If he was sober, probably he wouldn’t have done that, but with enough alcohol his emotions sometimes escaped his control.

An oblivious prey would even say he had gone savage by the way he bared his fangs. A little more and his mouth would start foaming.

After a blur of movement Bogo was holding the slender fox back and the security guards were taking care of the sex offender.

They had heard of someone disturbing their customers previously, but this was the first time someone actually confronted the aggressor.

Nick finally sat next to Gideon again, holding the baker’s paw under the table trying to calm down. The pudgy fox thanked him but he also told him he didn’t care that much about what that thing said.

He stroked the former con artist’s back, slowly soothing him, stopping his shaking… and thinking about how much he enjoyed seeing Nick punching that guy. It was the second time the slender fox defended him, and he had to admit it felt good. But he feared getting used to Nick confronting anyone who said something they shouldn’t to him.

Even if Nick had his own reasons for wanting to do so.

Okay, sure, this was a LGBTQ+ and interspecies friendly establishment, but no matter what your sexuality, gender or species were, there were boundaries someone should never overstep.

They decided not to mention that event ever again.

But the position the vulpines were in prompted Gideon to break their somewhat tense silence with the following question.

“So… how did you guys start dating?”

Something in his head told him it was an appropriate question… hopefully it wasn’t the alcohol.

Well, everyone seemed to have sobered up some.

The two addressed mammals, who were holding hands under the table just like the foxes, looked at each other before Clawhauser replied with a sad smile. “When I got shot.”

Both vulpines looked at him with bewildered expressions, but the cheetah continued before anyone had the chance to say something.

“Well, no… I mean, that was seven years ago and…”

“Benny, calm down.” Bogo interjected, sensing his partner’s nervousness. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, it’s okay…” Benjamin took a deep breath and started again. Even with his vacillation, the cheetah had everyone’s full attention.

“It all started seven years ago, during my second year on the force. I was on patrol, my partner and I found this group of kids in an alley… and they were nervous. We were close to Shady Place, in the Rainforest District, and you know what’s usually going on there.” Nick nodded and whispered something to Gideon about that area. ‘It’s not a place we want to visit.’ The pudgy fox blinked in understanding and Clawhauser continued.

“It was all… really fast, as they usually say. I didn’t even feel any pain. I just remember… waking up in a hospital bed with this guy next to me.” He looked fondly at Bogo, who locked eyes with Benjamin for just a second, as if sharing that memory with him made it less painful.

Clawhauser didn’t go into much detail; he still thought that moment ruined his career in the ZPD. ‘I went from being the fastest mammal on the force to the fattest.’ But, even if that was true, he wouldn’t change a thing now; he liked his current life more than he could have ever imagined.

“Ben… how old are you?” Nick asked unknowingly interrupting the moment between the cheetah and the buffalo.

“36”

“You’re older than me?!”

“See, Macky? My beauty products work.”  Benjamin turned to face Bogo, who smirked and replied “I never said they don’t; I said you don’t need them.”

‘They look like a married couple.’ Gideon thought, unaware of how unusual it was for the buffalo to behave like this… at least under Nick’s eyes.

“You’ve been together since then?” The slender fox, who looked like the sly self everybody was used to again, inquired as he unconsciously squeezed the other vulpine’s paw. The baker stopped caressing his back when the fox cop asked Clawhauser about his age, but they never let go of each other hands.

“No, but it was when we… understood.” Macario replied this time.

“You understood?” Gideon asked then, feeling Nick’s momentary grip and reciprocating it.

“Yeah… back then I wasn’t the chief, but I talked to all of our superiors when I heard they were thinking of demoting him when the doctors told us he shouldn’t go on patrol anymore and-”

“My left knee is made of metal.” Clawhauser interjected this time.

“The thing is I didn’t know why I was doing it, we weren’t that close, bu-”

“Because you loved me.” The cheetah interrupted again matter-of-factly.

“Perhaps, but I didn’t know.”

“Or maybe you didn’t want to accept that you were in love with me.“

“Oh? You say that after I-?”

Nick fake coughed loudly to interrupt their banter.  It didn’t really bother him, in fact he understood what their “understanding” meant, and he secretly hoped Gideon did too; but he also wanted to know how the story continued.

“Ah, yeah, yeah…” Clawhauser resumed. “Mr. I Always Loved You here (“Hey!”) took care of me during my rehab,” He made a little pause there. He left out the bit about the depression he went through; that was something only Bogo and him would know. That was the main reason he put on quite some weight at first, but a comment the buffalo made concerning his hips convinced him to stay chubby, “and eight months later, when Macky became the chief, he made me the first male receptionist on the ZPD.”

“Aaaand…?” Nick and Gideon insisted, leaning forward, waiting for the grand finale.

“I confessed after the Gazelle concert a year and a half ago.” Bogo finished casually, giving place to a very anticlimactic ending.

“…that’s it?” Nick asked. “I mean, it’s not a bad story, but…” He trailed off, gesturing with his free hand and rolling his eyes making them understand he expected a different closure.

“I didn’t take you for a romantic, Wilde.” The buffalo joked, taking a sip of his tea.

“I liked it.” Gideon commented, turning to face Nick, who was still rating the tale.

“Well, there was drama and action, and if it was Bogo who confessed… I’ll give you a seven out of ten.”

“And what about you two?” Clawhauser retorted without any real malice. “Judy told me you met yesterday…”

That was a territory the foxes didn’t want anyone to step in, but not replying could lead to a bad ending; even worse than what telling the truth would entail.

The former con artist looked at Gideon looking for some kind of approval and then back at the prying couple. He grabbed his own glass with his free paw and drank its content down, letting the pudgy fox know how nervous he was. Finally, he replied. “We met yesterday and we confessed this morning.”

Bogo put his glass down. He tried to look at both vulpines simultaneously to no avail with a blank expression, and when he finally locked eyes with Nick, he asked in his gravest voice “And you were complaining about our story?”

But he couldn’t keep his serious façade any longer and started laughing uproariously a moment later. Clawhauser thought it was romantic: they just met and they had already told each other what they felt.

And the foxes… they wanted to get out of there. No matter how much they tried to deny it they were still unsure, and that was something they had to solve by themselves.

Trying to hide his growing agitation Gideon checked his phone. No new messages, no lost calls… but he found a good excuse: it was 21:53, and if Nick and Judy told him the truth, the cops had to wake up really early. “Hey guys, it’s almost ten. It’s okay for you to stay up late with your job?”

Bogo stopped laughing to check his watch, and indeed, they’d have to head home soon. “Last round?” He asked the group before standing up.

Clawhauser shook his head and the vulpines said they were fine as well.

“I’ll go pay then.”

When he came back he didn’t allow any of the foxes to pay for their consumptions, which greatly surprised Nick: not that he thought his chief was stingy, but he didn’t expect him to be the type of mammal that treated someone the first time they went out together. Besides, their lunch was on him too.

The ride back home in Bogo’s silver SUV was silent for the most part, excluding a couple of comments from Benjamin. It was an amicable silence, but none of them had much to say at the time.

Once the foxes reached their stop they got out of the vehicle, not without bidding their goodbyes to the interspecies couple first.

Finally the duo was back at Nick’s apartment, alone together once again.

“Well, that was fun.” Gideon commented as Nick closed the door behind him.

“Yeah, I guess…” The slender vulpine was still avoiding to think about the not so entertaining moments they lived that night. He knew he shouldn’t dwell on what anyone said, but it was hard; over the years he had learned he had to protect what he cared for. “So, what do you think of my friends?”

“They seem nice… but Benjamin sure talks a lot.” The baker leaned on the couch and looked at Nick.

Both of them were in a somewhat awkward situation: they were alone, which would mean they could talk freely… but none of them dared to face their demons. They wanted to ask things, they wanted to know things…

Well, they had learnt things; things they didn’t needed to know. They spent most of that day “getting to know each other” using Internet tests which, frankly, none of them took seriously.

‘What’s your definition of success? Hmmm… clean underwear every day.’

‘Really, Gid? The right answer is no underwear.’

‘Gosh darn!

 You like it when I say that stuff, right? How’s y’all doin’ ova’ ‘ere?!’

Well, at least they laughed together.

But now they didn’t have a screen to look at.

Nick was starting to get nervous. He took a quick look around his apartment and the gears in his head started spinning…

“Hey, what do you say we have one last drink?”

“Oh, ah… sure!” Gideon quickly replied a little disconcerted by the sudden proposal. He couldn’t complain, though; he also felt like he needed that “extra help.”

“We have to compensate for going to bed so early yesterday.” And with that joke Nick went to get everything ready.

\---

Fifty minutes and four tall glasses of a mix of regular and black vodka with pineapple juice later both foxes were in a similar state than when they were at the bar. Perhaps a little giddier.

“…and before… before that guy told us he wanted to… he wanted to ‘do the do’ with us…” That expression got a guffaw out of Nick, but the pudgy fox continued. “Ben told me about… Macaco? That was his name, Macaco?”

“Macario, Gid.”

“Yeah, about Macario’s wang.”

Nick laughed really hard at that; he knew Clawhauser could be a little indiscreet when he was drunk, but his chief’s penis wasn’t a topic he touched on before.

“Gid, why do you say those things?”

“W-what things?” Gideon shifted his position on the couch to get a better view of the other fox. He turned to his side, lifting his left leg and crossing it on the spot between them.

“You know, ‘do the do’, ‘wang’…” Nick wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed by his doubts anymore. In fact, he was planning on putting an end to them as soon as the alcohol acted and he had the guts to say what he wanted. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, but you know what they say about desperate times and desperate measures…

“Ah… that’s ‘cause there’re always… always cubs at my store. There, lookin’ at the, at the… the pies and the cupcakes... but I can say ‘fuck’ too! And ‘dick’!”

Gideon was clearly tipsier than Nick.

There was a brief silence during which the fox cop took a few deep breaths the other vulpine ignored.

It was time.

“Hey, Gideon… what are you really like?” He had to be grateful his façade didn’t falter… much. But making a question like that while drunk without hyperventilating was an achievement.

The addressed mammal looked at the slender fox with half lidded eyes for a few seconds as he assimilated those words.

He was aware of his state, but he didn’t mind giving in to the warm sensation he felt and making a fool of himself; what was the point of getting drunk then?

However, he sensed Nick was serious.

“Hmmm…” The baker rested his chin on his left fist and pointed at his plaid blue, gray and white shirt with his free hand. “I don’t usually wear one of these when I’m at home.”

That wasn’t what the slender expected, but he’d have to roll with it. “Okay, that’s a start.” He started unbuttoning his own shirt, reciprocating the other’s look.

When Gideon realized what he was doing, he blinked twice before smirking. “Are you sure about that?”

“We already saw each other this morning. Don’t tell me you’re going shy on me now…” Nick was famous for being a teaser.

But the false sensation of confident bestowed by alcohol made everything easier. “No, no… but you’re drunk.”

“Me?” The slender fox finished taking off his shirt and dropped it on the ground. “ _You_ ’re drunk!”

The pudgy vulpine didn’t even unbutton his: he just pulled it over his head before dropping it next to the other. “I know.”

The current situation actually surprised Nick: he wasn’t expecting this! What was Gideon thinking? Maybe he knew what he was doing? Did he want to-?!

“Hey, Nick…” The former con artist’s train of thought was interrupted by his temporary roommate. “I don’t know.” ‘Huh?’ “The last time someone asked me that I was twelve… and I flipped my therapist off.

…

What are you really like?”

Did the apparently oblivious fox just turn the tables? Wasn’t he… about to pass out? Or trying to seduce Nick?

Perhaps he really did know how to hold his liquor.

“Hah, you got me there... I have no idea.”

The short silence that followed was everything Gideon needed to muster up the courage to say what he had been thinking about since that morning.

He looked at the black flat screen in front of them and sighed.

It was time… again.

“You were right, Nick; this is rushed. Maybe… uh, I heard this in a movie but, we… fell in love with the idea of the other?” The pudgy fox sounded really sure of his words, and the sudden change of subject caught Nick completely by surprise.

“What? What do you mean?”

“It’s like… we didn’t know much about each other, but we had this idea of how we were… I don’t know if I’m makin’ any sense…” Well, maybe he wasn’t that sure of what he was saying, but the other vulpine got the point.

“No, no, you’re right! I understand! It’s… crazy, but I think I like it. Hah… look, I… I’ve spent the entire day shaking because I’ve been thinking of how our future together would be like and… I’m scared because we really don’t know that much about each other…”

“If I’m honest… I don’t think I need to at this point. I like it when you tell me things about you, but I don’t want you to feel, uh… pressured to do so.”

If someone from Bunny Burrows heard him they wouldn’t believe that it was Gideon Grey who was speaking.

But he was right: do you really need to know everything about someone to fall in love with them?

The slender fox smiled at that. ‘God, he’s cute.’ But since they were being honest… “What if I told you I was scared of falling in love?”

“I’d tell you I was too.” It was Gideon’s turn to smile. They weren’t sharing tragic backstories anymore: they were talking about themselves, actually getting to know each other, and that harmony made them both feel truly ecstatic.

“I've always been alone and I thought 'love can't be that good', but now all I want is you to be happy… but I’m still scared of… letting you down.”

A little known fact about Nicholas Piberius Wilde is that he’s actually vulnerable.

“Why would you?”

“Well, I… I’ve done many things wrong and-“

“So what?” Gideon interrupted. Nick wanted him to be happy, but he also wanted to make the other fox feel the same. “I’ve done fucked up things too, but we’re not perfect! I’m not gonna… accuse you for your mistakes.”

“I’m not gonna accuse you for yours either…”

They needed a moment.

These last two days have been emotionally exhausting.

And three days ago they didn’t even know each other.

Perhaps they could be happy with each other, but this… this was surreal.

But those were their feelings. It was and it wasn’t their choice at the same time.

They didn’t regret a thing.

“I think I know what the problem is…” Gideon started once again, his dilated pupils meeting the attentive officer’s.

“Huh? You do?”

“Yeah… we’re both scared of messin’ up and end up losing… I don’t know, the other? Ourselves?”

Nick imitated the baker’s position on the couch, carefully resting his right leg on the other’s left and his muzzle on his left paw. “Hmm… I can’t say you’re wrong…”

Before he had any time to dwell on the same thought that had been consuming him during that day, Gideon spoke up. “What if we ignore all that and we focus on the present?”

It wasn’t really a question; it was more of a resolve full of determination.

Nick froze for an instant.

“Gid, that’s…”

“No, no, listen to me. We’ll be ourselves, we’ll enjoy our time together, we… we can try to solve any problem we face together, and if it goes good, then great…”

The baker couldn’t believe he was saying that. He was putting his feelings into words, and…

“…and if it doesn’t?”

…and Nick felt like crying. This is what he wanted: none of them was forced to do anything, they’d just be together… he didn’t need anything else.

“…we beat each other to a pulp?”

Nick started laughing, softly at first, but it grew into a hysterical bout of guffaws in a matter of seconds. He was crying again, just like the previous day, but for a completely different reason.

For the second time that night, his emotions took over and he lunged at Gid, hugging him and placing kisses all over his muzzle.

“I love you. I love you (kiss), I love you, (kiss) I love you, (kiss) Gideon Grey! God, I’ve wanted to do this all day!” Nick suddenly stopped and looked at the surprised face under his, his enthusiastic expression shifting dramatically. “Oh… oh, sorry. Did I go too f-“

But Gideon didn’t let him continue when he reciprocated the embrace and nuzzled his chest before placing sloppy and wet pecks of his own (well, they were practically licks) on the other’s snout. “I love you too, you silly fox!”

\---

Eventually they calmed down, but that didn’t mean their feelings had changed.

Nick was holding Gideon as close to his body as he physically could; they were lying on their backs, Nick resting directly on the couch, and Gideon between the other’s legs.

Back against torso, head against chest, fur against fur, skin against skin…

It was dark and their eyes were closed. It almost looked like they had fallen asleep, but Gideon wanted to know one more thing.

“Nick, are you still scared?”

“No, not anymore.”

“Me neither…”

And… one more.

“Nick, you still lie to people?”

“…yeah.”

“Why?”

“Safety.”

“You lie to me too?”

“No.”

“…will you?”

“I don’t know…”

“Is it because… you don’t wanna get hurt?”

“...yes.”

“I won’t hurt you, Nick.”

“I won’t lie to you then.”

“Will you hurt me?”

“No. I’ll never do that.”

“Good. Then I won’t lie either.”

…

“Hey, Nick?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

The addressed mammal smiled to himself and let out a small sigh before kissing the other’s tufts of hair. “I love you too, Gid.”

…

“I don’t wear pants either when I’m at home…”

They drifted off to sleep shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can a relationship that’s gone from “I-just-met-you-but-seem-nice” friendship to love probably fueled by loneliness actually work? We’ll see! 
> 
> BTW, I should have chosen another title; a bad pun doesn’t reflect the “constant analysis of emotions and actions” I’ve accidentally created. But at first I was like “haha, yeah. Meet and fuck for one week straight!”
> 
> A little bonus – At the bar
> 
> “Aren’t you scared of what people might say if they found out at the station that you two are…?”
> 
> “No.” Both Clawhauser and Bogo replied at the same time.
> 
> “There are rumors, it’s true, but-“ The buffalo tried to explain, but his inebriated partner interjected abruptly.
> 
> “But unless someone catches us screwing in the locker room again we’ll be fine!”
> 
> The foxes laughed. Bogo… not so much.


	4. Wednesday I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long, but work's being draining lately and I just bought one of those fancy graphics tablets... and I spent a lot of time pitching ideas for future chapters. Without further ado. please, enjoy.

The fox awoke.

At first he didn’t feel like moving at all; he was comfortable and he didn’t have any duty to attend to. Besides, his body felt a little heavy. ‘How much did I drink…?’

Eventually he took a deep breath and tried to open his eyes. He had to settle for squinting when the sunlight greeted his pupils with too much excitement, but he could see enough.

‘Where am…? This isn’t the bed I slept in yesterday…’ Then it hit him.

Gideon remembered everything that happened the previous night. His head hurt a little and it was resting on a soft and furry surface and… someone was touching him. Nick was caressing his head.

When the plump fox turned to look at his partner he realized he had been drooling on the other’s fur. He finally met the officer’s face, and he was smiling; it wasn’t the usual “Nick grin”, no, it was a sign of utter contentment, of bliss, of relaxation…

“G’morning Giddy.” Nick greeted. His voice was nothing but a deep whisper, but to Gideon it was the best alarm he had ever heard. He practically felt his mild headache disappearing; the series of loud bleeps he was used to would have made it worse. He didn’t realize, but as soon as the baker saw the slender fox he had been showing an expression similar to the other vulpine’s.

“Good morning, Nicky.” Gideon’s voice was a little raspy; he had just waken up after a night of what could be considered heavy drinking and his mouth was dry, but to Nick it was almost melodic. Better than any bird singing good morning in any given bucolic movie. “Ah… sorry I drooled on you.”

“Hey, I didn’t complain.” Nick replied and sat up slowly, propping himself up on his elbows to kiss the baker’s tuft of hair, just like he did before they fell asleep. Meanwhile Gideon tried to dry the damp spot on the other vulpine with his paws, but his soft pads brushing against sensitive skin elicited a soft snort from Nick.

‘Could it be…?’

Gideon repeated the action, touching Nick’s lower belly with his spongy protuberances twice. This time a giggle left the former con artist’s throat.

Who would have said it? Nick Wilde was ticklish!

Now that was something to wake up to.

The baker grinned and got on his knees to give a morning tickle session to the other vulpine, who realized what he was trying to do and trapped the bigger paws with his own as soon as they touched his body again. “If you keep it up I’ll pee, and you’re still between my legs.” Nick kidded, leaning in close to Gideon, their muzzles practically touching.

“Ah, sorr-“ But before the pudgy fox had time to finish his apology the officer freed his hands and had his own paws all over the other’s exposed fur; chest, neck, sides…

But Nick’s attempt at revenge-tickling Gideon proved to be useless when the other hummed-laughed and lifted his arms, allowing him to try again as he shook his head.

“Try all you want, I’m not ticklish.”

Nick frowned momentarily and changed his tactic. His arms surrounded the other’s torso and pulled him closer. “This is good too.” He muttered against the baker’s shoulder. His paw pads caressed Gideon’s back muscles, which were surprisingly developed for a fox, but not really hard. That’s the kind of physique someone with a healthy appetite and a job that implied lifting weight from time to time develops, I guess.

The touch made Gideon sigh and squirm in pleasure, as if a million of soft, small masseurs were working directly on his spine. He reciprocated the embrace, but he felt the other’s hands going down and…

“…are you trying to tickle my tail?”

“…no?”

“Then you’re trying to touch my butt?”

Nick response was a muffled laugh against Gideon’s fur. The warm air coming out of his muzzle and hitting the baker’s neck made the latter squirm again.

When you’re not used to it, even the faintest of touches can be exciting.

“Well, you’re getting close, I’ll tell you that.” Gideon added referring to his only ticklish spot (his feet) inspiring Nick’s fingers to work overtime on the base of his tail.

‘Wait. Wait, wait, wait!’ The baker screamed in his head because, again, even the faintest of touches can be **_exciting_** if you’re not used to it.

In a quick motion he lunged at Nick, sloppily pinning him to the couch and surprising him because of the sudden movement. He broke the exchange of low whispers that had been occurring since Gideon awakened when he raised his voice a little to ask if everything was okay, to which the plump fox replied “I told you you were getting close” in a somewhat agitated voice.

Luckily for him, Nick thought that he was referring strictly to being ticklish. Good thing Gideon’s crotch wasn’t in direct contact with the other fox, because now the couch was being pressed by a new bulge.

The slender vulpine smiled and closed his eyes before lifting his head and placing a quick kiss on the other’s muzzle, action that made the baker’s skin get even redder than it already was. He hoped his blush wasn’t visible through his fur… and he also hoped _something else_ wasn’t visible either.

“So, what do you want to do today, Giddy?” Nick asked looking into the pudgy fox’s half lidded eyes ‘And I thought green was captivating…’, now in his regular tone and volume.

The addressed mammal tried to play it cool; he let the other’s arms go, but instead of actually sitting up he put his hands on the exposed chest under him, using it as support to move his face closer to Nick’s, feeling accelerated heartbeats calling on him.

In reality Gideon felt like he wasn’t really ready to get any more intimate yet, even if they practically saw each other naked a few hours after meeting.

“What about this? This is nice.” He practically growled.

But his body was screaming something different, especially a little something between his legs.

Now it was his turn to kiss the other fox, and his wasn’t a chaste kiss. No, Gideon kissed Nick as if needed it to survive, the way you expect someone to do it after many years of repression, with hunger, sloppily slipping his tongue in the other’s mouth as soon as the slender fox went past the little shock the unexpected move caused and reciprocated the action, wrapping his arms around Gideon’s neck.

It was really wet to say the least, and also surprisingly noisy.

During a brief moment of lucidity after feeling Nick’s paws making their way to his hips, Gideon realized he had to stop before this went any further. He could feel his blood flow on his head and extreme stiffness on his other head, and both of them hurt at the moment.

He separated his muzzle from the other’s a little abruptly before hiding his face in Nick’s chest and muttering “sorry.” But this actually made things worse: now he was breathing in the former con artist’s scent straight from its source, and as it usually happens after consuming enough alcohol, he sweated quite some. Maybe that’s why he was so “playful” when he awoke, because his pillow was practically made of pheromones?

Something like “ _I want to lick you, I want to taste you, I want to eat you…_ ” and “ _Damned evolution! Why do foxes have sweat glands?_ ” went through Gideon’s mind at that moment… but hearing Nick panting would make it _even harder_ for him to hide his arousal.

Nick wasn’t sure of how to feel: he loved what just happened, but he didn’t expect _that_ to happen, and Gideon’s subsequent behavior left him a little worried. “Whoa, where did that come from?”

The baker was embarrassed beyond belief and trying to push certain thoughts away from his mind. He apologized again and slowly moved his head to try and look at Nick’s face, but it was just like minutes ago; a somewhat shy expression meeting a blissful one. Somehow, Nick really made him feel safe. “I… just felt like it.”

A hummed guffaw escaped the officer’s throat once again, and he caressed the plump fox’s head just like he was doing when he woke up. What a déjà vu.

Before any of them had the chance to say anything else, the doorbell rang.

Saved by the bell, huh Gideon?

“Coming!” Nick exclaimed as the former bully tried to get on his knees again while crossing his legs. He got to lift his body just enough to let the slender fox leave the couch. For a moment Gideon thought he could stay face down until his shaft was back in his sheath.

“You know who it is?” He asked in a curious but faltering voice, stretching his right arm to pick their shirts up from the floor. He thought that if he had to look like a nervous idiot lying on a couch, he could at least get dressed. But honestly, the baker didn’t want to see anyone else at the moment.

“Carrots. She texted me before you woke up.”

Gideon eyes went wide when he heard that. When Nick was about to reach the front door, the baker stood up and rushed to the bathroom exclaiming something about showering. Well, that sure was an intense way of starting off the day.

The slender fox simply shrugged and finally opened the door.

“Good morning, Carrots.”

“Good morning Nick… you’re shirtless.” Judy greeted back deadpanning when she saw the state he was in.

“No, I’m not.”  He replied in a similar way. They started a brief stare off that Nick won after the rabbit snickered. He let her in and went to pick his shirt up from the floor, but it wasn’t there.

“Gosh, it smells like drunken fox in here.” She commented pulling four paper coffee cups and a box of donuts out of the plastic bag she brought.

“Really? Maybe I should buy a new air freshener.” He kidded before opening the two windows in the room. It could actually be a somewhat aggressive smell if you weren’t used to it.

But at least both of them seemed to have forgotten about the tense situation from the previous day, or rather they decided to ignore it, which actually was for the best; if it wasn’t for Clawhauser’s intervention, it might have gone downhill.

“Are you guys hungover?” She handed him one of the cups and opened the box of treats on his kitchen table.

“Not really. At least I’m not.” He took a sip of his lukewarm beverage. Black coffee, just like he tolerated it. “By the way, you haven’t told me yet why you aren’t at work.”

“I actually went to work, but Bogo wouldn’t let me leave detentions again today, and I thought-“

“Hold on. Now that I think about it, this is your first day off, right?!” He was legitimately surprised; four months ago she sprained her left wrist and she still went on patrol.

“Well, yeah, but-“ She couldn’t get to explain what working with Gibson was like; he was too excited and interrupted her once again.

“And all it took was two days without me? Oh, Carrots, you love me so much!” Only a few mammals could reach that level of irony before nine in the morning. But his excitement was a little exaggerated even for Nick’s standards of pretending; there was something else behind it. Obviously Gideon wasn’t the only one excited after what happened…

Judy eventually told him what was going on, not without more interruptions ‘Was Ben hungover?’ ‘No, he was fresh, and he told me about your night out.’ Luckily for Nick, he skipped the part they said they wouldn’t talk about; Benjamin Clawhauser actually respected his friends’ privacy… most of the time.

Nick’s shower running was the background noise of their conversation, and during their talk Nick smelt a really strong scent coming from the bathroom that put a smirk on his face; he was used to a very similar one.

He knew what Gideon did during his shower, and he thought he could have helped him with it if Judy was slower.

\---

By the time Gideon had finished showering Nick was done with his breakfast, and he decided to clean up a little before hitting the shower himself.

“And what are you guys doing today?” Judy asked biting into one of the round pastries courtesy of Clawhauser.

“I was thinking we could go to the theme park.” Nick replied absently grabbing the bottle of pineapple juice that still was on the coffee table.

“Hmm!” She swallowed quickly and fished her phone from her left pocket. “I almost forgot. I checked it out yesterday after you guys told me you wanted to go, but I’m sorry to say it's been closed since last Thursday.”

“What? Why?” Nick put the juice in the fridge and turned to look at her with a perplexed expression, one of his eyebrows raised in an inquisitive manner.

“Mammals almost dying. Read this; that place is in shambles.” Judy handed the fox her device and what he saw disappointed him.

Three weeks ago one of the cabins of the Ferris wheel fell off. Luckily it was empty.

Two weeks ago one ride called the Tail Spinner got a few screws loose and it almost ended in a horrible massive slaughter.

And last week one of the rollercoaster's wagons got stuck mid drop.

“So they closed it to test if it's safe for mammals...” Nick finally said, returning her phone.

“It seems so.”

“What if there's someone behind this, Carrots? Someone... who hates fun, maybe?” He put his left paw under his chin as he thought about the possible perpetrator of the “ _crime_ ”.

“Nick, are you serious?”

“Hmm... perhaps it was someone who's scared of heights...” The fox ignored her question and kept muttering to himself, walking to the sink to clean the glasses they used the previous night.

“Hasn't that place been running for almost 50 years?” Judy asked again. She couldn’t believe Nick was actually thinking someone sabotaged the rides.

“Yeah...?”

“Maybe the rides are rusty...” The rabbit didn’t understand why he took it so seriously. Was that the only place he had planned to take Gideon to? “But Nick, why do you care so much anyway? You can go to many other places. This is Zootopia after all.”

“Yeah, but...” Nick had another reason to take the baker to that theme park. “I used to go there when I was little.” He only went once. His dad took him there before disappearing, and the day they spent there was one of his most cherished memories. He wanted to create new memories with a new fox… perhaps to compensate for growing up without a masculine role model.

Nick actually admired Gideon; as far as he knew, he matured before him even if he was younger than him. He was more responsible… he might be what Nick needed when he was little.

Besides, he also thought he could explain in detail what Wilde Times could have been like.

He sighed before finishing with a lie. “I guess I just wanted Gid to have fun.”

“Hey, come on, you're fun to be with!”

“He sure is! G’morning to ya, Jude.” Gideon greeted in his involuntary accent coming out of Nick’s bedroom wearing a plain white t-shirt and elastic jeans; the kind he used sometimes to work.

“Good morning Gid. I didn’t know if you liked coffee, so I got you an espresso and one of those shakes with an impossible to pronounce name.” She greeted back pointing at the two cups on the kitchen table.

“Ah, so kind of ya! Thanks.” He sat on the chair next to Judy’s, the closest to the sink where a smirking Nick was; as soon as he saw Gideon he remembered the smell that came from his bathtub moments ago, and with it the action that caused it. “So no theme park, huh?” The baker overheard them talking about what happened, and Judy replied to his question shaking her head and muttering “sorry”.

“Did you enjoy your shower, Gid?” The slender fox asked hiding his actual knowledge behind a façade of innocence as he turned off the tap after finishing doing the dishes… glasses, in this case.

“Ah… yeah, Ah used yer strawberry shampoo.” The baker replied focusing his gaze on the box of donuts in front of him. He was a little embarrassed; even if he and Nick were actually together, doing something like that in someone else’s house while thinking about that someone wasn’t something he was used to.

“Oh, I know.” Nick said leaning in close to the pudgy fox, licking his lips before whispering in his right ear “I can smell it.”

Gideon’s eyes went wide when he heard that. Was he talking about…? How could he have smelt it?! He’d understand it if it wasn’t because he was directly under the stream of water, and the shampoo’s scent was really prominent… maybe years of baking deteriorated his sense of smell? Or perhaps Nick’s was extremely developed?

Maybe he just was really horny and didn’t think about the possible consequences.

He almost broke his neck when he turned to look at Nick, who had a more-sly-than-usual grin stuck on his face. He answered Gideon’s unasked question by tapping his nose twice.

This time the baker instead of looking at his cup he tried to hide behind it. That was a… great step forward in their relationship.

Now that she could see the banter between the two, Judy wondered why she worried about them in the first place. Well, she knew why… but anyway, they seemed okay.

“So you guys are…?” Judy trailed off her vague question. Not even she was sure of what she was asking, but she wanted any confirmation of their apparent cheerfulness.

“Fine / Talking about shampoo!” Both foxes replied at the same time, one of them more nervous than the other.

Judy giggled at their shenanigans, and since Nick seemed to have forgotten about what had ruined his mood moments before, she kept going with a little joke. She grabbed her phone and tapped the screen a few times before saying “have you guys heard this Kanine West song? I think it fits you.”

She skipped a part; the intro, maybe, put the device on the table, and music started to play.

“ _Bound (bound) to fall in love…_

_Bound (bound) to fall in love…_

_(Uh huh, honey)”_

“Aw, Judy…” Gideon said smiling at the rabbit. He didn’t really like hip-hop, but that was sweet, and he couldn’t say she was wrong; it kinda fit them. But Nick knew that song, and he also knew what was coming next. His previous devilish smirk came back full force, and at the time he also thought it fit them.

_“I wanna knot you hard on the sink (…)”_

“Oh mah gosh, Judy!”

Couldn’t the poor baker take a break? Nick broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter at the other fox’s scream. She was right, that song was perfect for them.

It wasn’t usual to see Nick laughing like that, and Judy’s giggles joined his guffaws a second after, but strictly because of Gideon’s reaction. If she only knew why he reacted like that…

Nick paused the song before the plump fox had a heart attack and gave a 180 degree spin to the subject; now it was Judy’s turn to talk. “Carrots, you haven’t told us what your plans for the day are yet.” He was doing that thing friends do to see if the other is okay. You know, when they ask questions because they’re worried? Even if she had a convincing reason, Judy actually taking a break was kind if shocking.

“Oh… I don’t really have any. Maybe I’ll go shopping or something later.” She didn’t sound too convinced of her own words, and Nick realized.

“Hmmm… since the theme park is closed we could spend the day at the mall. Isn’t that what teens do in dates?” Nick kidded sitting leaning on the sink.

“You’re talking about you two, right? I don’t want to be your third wheel.” Judy said half-jokingly fiddling with her empty paper cup.

“What? Come on, cottontail. We’re your friends.”

“And that’s exactly why I don’t want to tag along. I’d rather not see you doing… more than friendly things.”

“That’s rude, Carrots.”

The exchange of jokes was entertaining, but Nick didn’t want her to feel lonely or left out because he spent more time with the one who originally was her friend only. “What about the guys at the station?”

“What about them?”

“You’re on good terms with them, right? Sometimes I see you talking with Francine and… what’s his name? Wolfman?”

“You mean Wolford?” Casually enough, those two were among the LGBTQ+ officers Clawhauser told her about.

“Yeah, that. Why don’t you hang out with them?”

“Oh, uh...” Judy also hid things from Nick. The same way she didn’t know about Wilde Times or the money he still had after his years of swindling, he didn’t know about a little incident that happened while he was in the academy.

Since they kept insisting on it, Judy gave it a shot and went out with a few of her partners.

It was okay at first: a few drinks at a bar, some bad jokes… but as the night advanced, some of the officers got more than tipsy. Among them was Delgato, the male African lion.

Outside the station he was a… well, he liked to see himself as a “ladies’ man”, but Judy thought he was an asshole. Especially after he spent part of the night blatantly hitting on her, saying things that his friends considered as “jokes” but that made Judy feel really uncomfortable.

It all got worse when they were leaving and he offered her to spend the night at his place, because he didn’t do it out of politeness.

That wasn’t the first time someone hit on her, of course, but it was the one that made her avoid romantic relationships even more.

Delgato practically cornered her and he insisted, and insisted, and insisted… until Judy had no other choice but to punch him and walk away.

She just never felt that kind of attraction toward anybody. She didn’t need to be with anybody to feel complete, she was her own mammal, and everything that relationships entailed didn’t interest her.

Eventually Delgato apologized for his behavior, but things between them were still… tense.

Judy didn’t enjoy that night at all, and she really didn’t need an encore.

“If I’m taking a break from my duty, I don’t want to spend my free time with more cops, Nick.” She lied. She couldn’t tell if Nick believed it or not, but if he didn’t, he was hiding it perfectly.

By then Gideon had already calmed down, but he didn’t really have anything to add. He didn’t know that much about Judy’s life in Zootopia aside from her work and Nick. The times she went to Bunny Burrows and they met they mostly talked about the years they spent not knowing what the other was doing.

“Okay…” Nick was running out of ideas. He focused his gaze on the back of Gideon’s head and rubbed his temples. The baker’s hair reminded him of something… of someone…

After a few seconds of thinking he snapped his fingers. “You could go pay Fru Fru a visit.”

“That… actually sounds good. I haven’t seen little Judy in a while.” She thought about it. Judy (Hopps) was sure Fru Fru knew how to relax; not having a job and not having to worry about earning money because your dad the mafia boss’s way of showing appreciation is spoiling you sure helped.

“Yeah, and maybe she’ll treat you to a spa session or something. Think about it while I take a shower.” Nick pronounced those last words looking and smiling at Gideon, who could practically feel those two green orbs directing his blood flow to unwanted places like his face, his ears, or his-

“Tell me, Gid; did our friends treat you right yesterday night?” Judy asked the pudgy fox, who realized she had said something when Nick was finally out of the room.

“Oh, uh, what? Ah… yeah! They’re real nice.” He finally answered.

It was the first time Judy saw him zoning out like that, but it was comforting; seeing people you care about happy makes you feel good. At least that’s how it is for Judy Hopps.

“And… did Bogo tell you something about… you know, being with Nick or anything like that?” But again, just like her mother, she worried a little too much.

“Oh, no no, he was friendly. But Ah reckon at first Ah thought he was married an’ had kids or somethin’ like that.” Luckily Gideon was used to that kind of questions and he knew how to deal with them. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he thought Bonnie Hopps was kind of gossip; and to him it seemed that Judy was a little like her.

But that’d probably be useful during her interrogations.

“Good, good… he can be kinda insensitive, you know? There was this time I was working on a case (…)”

Gideon recognized the tone she was using; it was the same her parents used when they felt like _talking_ ; when they wanted someone to hear what they had to say.

‘Oh, boy… Nick, shower quickly. _Please_.’

\---

Fifteen minutes later, when Nick came back, Judy was gone.

Gideon told the slender fox about what happened: during her monologue about her chief’s lack of empathy at work she suddenly got agitated and eventually said she deserved to take a breather. Now she was on her way to Fru Fru’s, and when Nick was getting rid of the empty paper cups he saw that the four of them were empty. Gideon didn’t drink the coffee Judy brought for him… so who left the apartment was actually an overcaffeinated rabbit.

But she was Judy Hopps; she’d be okay.

And since they were in private again, Nick thought he could pick up where they left off.

“Well, well… alone together again.” The slender fox said in a tone only a few mammals ever got to hear: his seductive one. He had only used it a couple of times as a last resort during his days of scamming, but he secretly practiced it for years. In fact, looking so laid back wasn’t something that just went with him; his whole personality was acquired. His circumstances made him want to be that way.

Nick walked up to Gideon, who thought of standing up right when the officer’s paws reached his shoulders from behind.

“Yeah…” The baker could almost feel those half-closed emeralds piercing his head and seeing the thoughts he had during his shower. He couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy the improvised massage, but knowing it could lead to a more intimate kind of contact made his heart race, so he tried to bring up one of the previous topics intending to maybe dissuade the other and calm down. “Hey… the theme park’s closed, right?”

Nick believed he knew what Gideon really wanted, and to him something like this meant he was playing hard to get. ‘Don’t tell me you changed your mind…’

He’d have to be the blunt one now.

The former con artist hmmm-ed and slowly nuzzled the plump fox’s head until his mouth brushed against black tipped ears and whispered “it’s okay, there’s something I want to ride more than a rollercoaster...”

“Nick-“

“I’m talking about your dick, Gid.”

“Nick!”

“Yeah, say my name.”

“No, no, stop!”

Nick obliged. Maybe Gideon had enough with one pawjob?

“I thought you wanted me to…”

“I… I think I do, but…”

“But?”

The baker sighed. The foundation of a healthy relationship is communication, right? Even if it embarrassed him, Gideon had to tell the truth; it was necessary if they wanted to keep advancing.

“I’m a virgin, Nick.”

Many questions went through the officer’s mind when he heard those words. ‘What?’ ‘How?’ ‘Since when?!’ among some others which were a little more complex.

It made sense: he lived in a place where only a few mammals had holes big enough to… no, no! It made sense because his job didn’t let him socialize much. Yeah, that’s it.

But after all Nick was an understanding mammal.

“Oh, I… I’m sorry Gid. But when you woke up you were so… you know… and then in the shower-“

“That’s because you touched my tail...” Gideon admitted crossing his arms. He feared Nick would make fun of him.

The former con artist sat on the free chair next to the pudgy fox. His first time wasn’t exactly romantic, so if he could make Gideon’s any better he would; but he also didn’t want to force it. If he felt he was ready he-

“You think I’m a freak, don’t you?”

Even if it was unstable, romantic love overpowered lust; but that didn’t mean their doubts were completely gone. Gideon, for example, didn’t think he’d face this situation… at least not so soon.

“What? No. I was thinking about what would be the right thing to say... but it’s flattering to know that I got you so worked up with just a few strokes.”

Sincerity is important to make every relationship work, no matter if it’s friendship or something else. What you like, what you don’t… it may not always be what we want to hear, but on the long run it helps us understand the others better.

“I… I really want to… with you…”

It helps us make the right choice when we face a problem.

“I’m willing to… but only if you’re ready.” Nick said in his utmost sincere tone. He caressed one of Gideon’s arms until he finally unfolded them and was able to hold his left paw. He wanted to make the baker know it wasn’t that big of a deal; he wouldn’t hurt him, he’d do everything he could to make him feel good. “Hey, if it helps any, when you were on top of me I thought my sheath was going to break.” Of course, what happened that morning didn’t only arouse the plump fox, but he was better at hiding it.

Gideon snorted at that and finally mustered the courage to look at Nick. He found a sympathetic smile and compassionate eyes, but he didn’t want that. No, he wasn’t a kit who lost a game of baseball; besides, Nick also wanted to take that step. He didn’t want to make him wait.

If he was so sure of what he felt, he shouldn’t have that kind of doubts.

If he trusted Nick as much as he believed he did, he shouldn’t be scared of anything.

‘I’m almost 27, for God’s sake!’

Gideon frowned and stood up, but he didn’t let go of Nick’s paw. He took a deep breath and said what his brain both wished and feared to say.

“Let’s do it.”

“…what?”

“I-I’m ready. Let’s do it now.”

Nick didn’t understand what just happened. What made the pudgy vulpine change his mind? Was that thing he said about his sheath?

“Are you sure, Gid? You don’t have to-“

“I want to, Nick!”

There was no point in arguing if both of them wanted to do it.

\---

The walk to the bedroom was almost eternal for Gideon. Every step made his hands shake even harder. He felt his body heat abandoning him; a tickling sensation invaded his spine, and his breathing was erratic.

Nick could see the other mammal was anxious, but he didn’t say anything; he was nervous the first time he had sex too, it was only normal. Surely something like “don’t worry, it’ll be okay” wouldn’t make things easier for the baker. He could only act.

It only took them fifteen seconds to reach Nick’s bed.

The baker was light-headed; he even felt he had memory lapses.

One moment they were sitting on the edge of the bed, and Nick was saying something… Gideon nodded at what he said; the next Nick was kissing him. It felt good.

Warm, soft; a complaisant tongue visited his mouth, he didn’t fight it.

Arms surrounded him. How many? Two; Nick’s arms.

Gideon could feel his paw pads on his neck, on his back… but they weren’t brusque; no, they were caressing every part of his body they touched.

They were so close.

His arms also moved, probably on their own accord.

Why was Nick wearing a shirt? Oh, right, he had also showered.

His shower… he was thinking about Nick.

Nick.

“I love you, Nick.”

“I love you too, Gid.”

Gideon wanted to touch Nick’s fur, Nick’s skin, every inch of his slender body.

Did he say something? He didn’t remember.

Now both of them were shirtless.

How many tongues did he have again?

One. Nick was kissing him. Or was he kissing Nick?

Did it matter?

Did they ever break the kiss that started this?

Did it matter?

Those paw pads were now touching his chest. They weren’t as delicate as before; they moved like a starving primitive wolf desperately looking for his prey.

And they found it; his nipples.

Did a thunder just hit his spine? Gideon couldn’t describe it, but he was sure he was feeling pleasure.

No, pleasure is an understatement.

The most accurate thing to say would be that the god so many believe in visited his body. Was that even his body? He couldn’t even control it.

He couldn’t control his voice: he was unaware of every moan that left his throat.

He couldn’t control his hands: he _needed_ to touch Nick, to caress his soft skin and his most sensitive spots.

He couldn’t control his respiration: ragged breaths collided with Nick’s fur, and every time he inhaled, he could feel him.

Was he doing any of that right?

If Nick’s sounds and lack of complaints were any indication, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

When did they lie down?

Nick was on top of him… were they wearing pants anymore?

At that point Gideon could only feel.

Fur, skin, bliss, satisfaction.

Was his heart beating at all?

He didn’t care.

He couldn’t think.

“Gid.”

Who was calling his name?

“Hey, Gideon.”

Nick.

He was with Nick.

“Nick…”

And then reality hit him.

He was in Nick’s bedroom, lying on Nick’s bed. And Nick was on top of him.

He could feel his shaft throbbing, and if he looked he’d have seen it leaking through his white briefs.

“Are you ready, Gid?” Nick’s voice was nothing but a rough murmur among pants.

When he came back to his senses, Gideon was still nervous, but not terrified. He wasn’t worried anymore. Not about his physique, not about his size, not about making an unforgivable mistake… because it was Nick who he was with.

He couldn’t find his voice, so he just nodded.

He was ready.

Nick got rid of his underwear, exposing his erect shaft. He could only take a glance at it, but Gideon saw it was pretty similar to his. Okay, they were the same species, but size difference is a thing.

The officer slipped one of his fingers under the elastic band of the baker’s briefs and pulled down, revealing a red, swollen dick that bobbed until it was pointing at Gideon’s belly. It was practically drenched in precum, and the sight and smell unconsciously drove Nick’s free paw to his own cock.

Gideon lifted his legs to make it easier for the slender fox to remove his underwear, and he had to fight the urge to lick it when he had it in his hand. Eventually he let it fall to the floor and admired the sight in front of him: the most perfect mammal he had ever seen was looking at him, and he couldn’t tell if his expression was adorable or lustful. Gideon’s eyes seemed innocent, but he was biting his lower lip in anticipation.

It was hard for him to avoid touching himself; he knew he’d be done with a few strokes. But he waited for Nick, who had quite some pent-up excitement stored in his balls too.

Nick rubbed Gideon’s thighs thinking about what to do: it was clear that none of them would last long… but who said you only get to cum once? An imaginary light bulb lit over his head.

He gestured for Gideon to stand up. The addressed mammal obliged a little confused. He believed now came the part of… doing the thing he had watched on some videos on his phone.

But Nick was resolved; once the baker was on his feet, he got on his knees and grabbed his generous and tender ass, pushing Gideon’s pelvis forward. The former con artist’s restless paws massaged the soft flesh, making the plump vulpine’s eyes open wide at the same time he gasped in a manner that resembled a purely animalistic sound. He was close, so close he was dripping on Nick’s muzzle.

The officer’s smirk screamed lust.

He licked the precum off his snout and in a rapid movement he shoved Gideon’s cock until the sides of his mouth touched his knot.

The pudgy fox tried to call Nick’s name to no avail; he could only growl at the unexpected action. He put one of his paws on his hip and grabbed the back of Nick’s head with the other. He wasn’t forceful; he didn’t push. In fact, he didn’t even realize when he did it; probably he just wanted whatever he was feeling to last a little longer.

The slender vulpine moved his paws from the baker’s ass and started massaging the cream colored scrotum in front of him with his right and slowly touching himself with his left one.

He didn’t move his head at all; his tongue did all the necessary work. It twisted, it twirled, it wrapped itself around the red protuberance, licked each and every side… all that while Nick suckled as hard as he could, tensing the stiff member even more.

Gideon couldn’t care any less about whatever the other fox was doing; he was practically seeing heaven.

And the moment his testicles tightened up in Nick’s hand, he was in it.

He shut his eyes tightly and a guttural scream left his throat. The paw holding Nick’s head turned into a fist he had to bite on to muffle the sounds the best orgasm of his life caused. He could feel the climax everywhere: his feet, his ears, his stomach… he believed the officer had turned him into a pleasure machine.

In reality it only took Nick a few licks to make the baker cum. He was thankful he didn’t move much; the first time someone sucked his dick he sucker punched the sucker, who was an older coyote who sucked at faking he wasn’t a sucker for younger boys. 10th grade was a wild year for him; he dropped out before finishing, but then is when he made his first thousand.

Nick swallowed every drop. It wasn’t hard since that was the second time Gideon came that morning, but even if it was scarce, he could feel the warm liquid’s thickness on his tongue.

He loved it.

Now it was his time to finish.

Nick freed the baker’s balls and still hard dick and leaned forward until his forehead collided with Gideon’s left thigh. He only needed seven quick strokes to stain the space between the pudgy fox’s feet white. His orgasm wasn’t as loud, but if his claws were exposed, Gideon would be bleeding; he gripped the back of his leg with all his strength.

When he finally recovered his breath, Nick stood up showing his common sly fox face.

“Now that’s what I call good foreplay.”

Gideon smiled at that. “Foreplay?”

“We were getting ready for what's about to come... in case you wanna go again. I mean... did you like it?”

“I loved it.”

“Then it was foreplay.”

The baker let out a couple of hummed guffaws before sitting on the edge of the bed. “So… my turn?”

“You want to…?”

“Try and stop me.”

It was Nick’s turn to laugh. “Okay, but let me take a five minute break first.”

\---

“Yours is bigger than mine.”

“Oh… you think so?”

“Yeah, it’s definitely thicker.”

“Ah, Nick? Is it normal to talk about this stuff right after…?”

“Well, pillow-talk isn’t usually about how cute one’s curtains are, Giddy.”

“I see… then… I want to suck your dick until your balls look like raisins.”

“…almost there Gid.”

“…sorry. I’m new to this, you know?”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Har har.”

“By the way, now I have to introduce you to my mom.”

“What?!”

“Okay, ready for round two?”

Glorious afterglow.


	5. Wednesday II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day keeps advancing.

There was no time to talk anymore; this was Gideon’s first time, and so far, both of them were having the time of their lives.

At first Nick took the lead, charging at the plump fox’s mouth with his tongue, more fiercely this time. Since it was the first time they explored each other’s bodies so closely, they did it slowly.

Nick’s paws visited every inch of exposed fur and skin the other vulpine had to offer. He took his time massaging the plump belly before him, enjoying its touch, its mix of softness on its exterior and its hardness once he applied force. He discovered the baker’s ass was similar: its tender surface hid hard muscle he very much enjoyed.

Gideon let him do whatever he wanted. At the time he believed those paws were magical; everything they touched turned him into a panting mess. The fingers around his tail made him hug the officer closer, practically tasting his scent. But he wanted more; he wanted to actually savor him.

The pudgy fox licked Nick’s neck the way he had watched in quite a few videos, and the former con artist’s reaction didn’t disappoint. He wasn’t only ticklish, but practically his entire body was really sensitive.

Nick grabbed Gideon’s rear and a gasp died in his throat; it wasn’t his first time having sex, but it probably was his first time having sex with someone he actually cared about, so having that someone touching him was _unique_.

This is what so many people call making love.

Every sound, every touch, every smell, every movement excited them.

The lack of distance between them let their dicks poke each other’s bodies, and since they considered the previous event as foreplay, they wasted no time in getting busy.

Gideon reluctantly separated his muzzle from Nick’s and took advantage of his superior strength to turn him face up: now he’d take the lead.

The officer’s expression said it all: he was okay with it; he knew he’d love whatever the other fox wanted to do to him. His pupils never left the baker’s face as it visited his body.

Gideon put into practice the knowledge he got from the movies and videos he had watched. He had to resist the urge to bite the slender fox’s neck and instead left a trail of pecks on it, making Nick scratch the sheet under them.

The officer debated between closing his eyes and looking at the gorgeous figure visiting his body, but in the end the intense sensations forced him to close them and clench his jaw. And he was supposed to teach Gideon what to do…

The plump vulpine continued down his chest, his cold nose and warm tongue meeting two sensitive spots hidden under red and cream colored fur that made Nick squirm, but he didn’t stop there; he continued until he reached Nick’s lower belly, and after hearing a suppressed giggle, he got on top of the slender fox, letting his dick rub against the other’s while his paw pads caressed the slim torso before him.

Every time he moved he felt the need to ask if he was doing it right, but come on, he wasn’t that inexperienced, was he? He also had a body; he knew the basics to make someone feel good.

His fingers worked on the officer’s nipples, rubbing them, pinching them a little, making Nick’s legs rise until his thighs served as a support for Gideon’s thick ass.

Nick wanted to see it all, but a higher power forced him to put the pillow under his head on his face and bite on it, muffling sounds he didn’t believe he was able to make. Whatever Gideon was doing to him sent him over the edge. Was that his tongue? His paw pads? And feeling the baker’s bigger balls resting on his and his thicker knot against his only made things worse. Now he looked like he was the virgin, uselessly struggling to keep his composure.

Meanwhile Gideon kept advancing; he leaned forward and held onto Nick’s shoulders, allowing his muzzle to visit his flat belly before his mouth could take care of the twin sensitive spots on the former con artist’s chest. Good thing he had no will ponder on what he was doing, because he wouldn’t be able to believe it.

Now Nick could feel the baker’s nutsack brushing against his shaft as he moved his body up and down to taste the officer’s body. By the looks of it, Gideon didn’t even know he was grinding on him, but boy did it feel good.

Eventually the plump fox’s paws abandoned the officer’s shoulders and he pushed back a little, signaling Nick to stretch his legs. He scooted back on his knees until his dick was directly over Nick’s.

Gideon couldn’t control the smirk on his face as he grabbed both their cocks and started a brief session of frottage that had them leaking on Nick’s fur. The pudgy vulpine moved his paw slowly, feeling the officer’s heat against his. ‘He was right, mine’s bigger…’

His paw pads were soft, but after five strokes lubed only with Nick’s thin thread of precum, he licked his palm and each one of his fingers separately, tasting the slender fox while he was at it. He was pleasantly surprised when he savored just a little hint of _something_. Gideon had tasted his own semen before, but the only thing he tasted was heat. It had no flavor… maybe because he was used to his scent and it tasted just like he smelled, or maybe because it actually had no flavor.

But he knew what to do next; this time he only grabbed Nick’s dick and massaged its head with his index and his thumb while the rest of his fingers tapped softly on his shaft, feeling the officer’s accelerated heartbeats.

Eventually his free paw found his way to Nick’s right hip, getting a hold on it while he scooted back again until his knees were at the former con artist’s ankles’ sides.

Gideon leaned forward until his snout touched Nick’s pubis. He was going to do it: his first blowjob. He hesitated for a moment; Nick wanted this, right?

Their cocks weren’t rubbing anymore, but Nick could feel the other’s fur and breath. He had to get ready for what was about to come.

He braced himself, and when he believed he had felt Gideon’s tongue against the tip of his most sensitive part, the plump fox asked a question.

“Nick, can I-?”

But before he could finish, the addressed mammal tossed the pillow he was using as a gag at the floor and replied “do it or I’ll die!”

He sounded desperate, he truly wanted it.

It had been over four years since the last time he had sex with someone.

He didn’t remember his face or what they did, but he didn’t need to; he _needed this_.

Gideon obliged. The paw that was wrapping Nick’s shaft now carefully wrapped his knot, knowing how sensitive it could be, and lifted the deliciously smelling ballsack with his thumb; his other paw caressed his way to Nick’s groin, eventually resting on his right inner thigh.

The baker touched him slowly; it was the first time he got into close contact with someone and he wanted to do it right. His muzzle hovered over the officer’s dick, inhaling the addictive aroma that emanated from there, his eyes fixated on the red, shiny flesh that longed for his mouth.

Nick wanted to scream, to roar; the teasing was killing him. He could practically feel the baker’s lips on the tip of his cock. He had wanted this to happen since the first time he saw Gideon’s body, and this wait was like torture.

The plump fox’s head finally descended and he licked the lower side of the dick before him.

It wasn’t enough. He tasted Nick once again, but he wanted more.

Once again he imitated the people he had seen down this kind of things: Gideon moved the hard member until it was pointing at his face and licked the tip, letting his tongue experiment the taste of Nick’s precum straight from the narrow slit that was willing to expel more.

Gideon tried to look at the officer’s face, who had an arm covering his eyes. But he could see him gritting his fangs and clawing the blankets, and that was more than enough. From time to time you could hear him groaning, and Gideon took that as a confirmation of his pleasure.

Finally he put the entire shaft minus the knot in his mouth. It wasn’t hard; Nick’s size and his elongated snout made it easy.

Its taste wasn’t entirely new to him: basically it was raw meat seasoned with Nick’s scent and fluids. But that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy it. At the time he’d have sold his soul to be able to savor it every day. It _literally_ tasted like Nick, and even if the thought of a fox eating a member of his own species is disturbing, the baker didn’t care; that’s why they call it ‘eat out’ anyway, right?.

At first Gideon tried to mimic the other fox, licking his manhood every way he could. Obviously he was less skilled than Nick, but that didn’t stop the slender vulpine from enjoying almost everything the baker did. _Almost._

“Giddy… teeth…” Nick said in a strained voice. He was either in heaven or in hell, but the plump fox couldn’t tell at the time.

He remembered something. ‘Use your lips to cover your fangs and (..,)’

Good thing there were tutorials for everything on the Internet…

Gideon did so. He tried again, this time shielding his teeth with his lips.

It worked.

Instead of slowly going up on down on the shaft, the pudgy vulpine suckled its red head while he used Nick’s balls to massage his knot.

It was the first time someone did something like that to him, and for a second Nick doubted if this really was Gideon’s first time. The softness and warmness of the plump fox’s oral cavity were delightful, and the alternate touch of his own skin and Gideon’s fingers on his knot was an experience he could get used to; perhaps Gideon was a natural.

The officer had to stop himself from lifting his knees out of pleasure to avoid hitting the baker, who started bobbing his head when he felt the sudden movement, but he wasn’t really sucking Nick’s dick; no, he was nodding while using the slender fox’s cock as a pacifier.

After all he had never done this before.

The enjoyment didn’t last long; it was enough to make Nick leak a few drops of precum in Gideon’s mouth, but after some time his attempt at a blowjob got a little tiring.

But Nick knew exactly what to do.

Giving advice at the moment was out of the question, and besides, he wanted Gideon to have a first time he’d never forget; and for that he believed that something more than a blowjob was necessary.

He put one of his paws on Gideon’s head, making him stop and lift his head.

“My turn…” Nick said as he caressed the baker’s tousled tuft of hair, slowly pushing him back as he propped himself up on his free arm.

“You did it to me before...” The plump fox tried to resist, moving the paw that wrapped the officer’s knot to massage his balls and looking at the older vulpine with pleading eyes.

He got him there, but Nick wasn’t going to tell him that he wasn’t enjoying his blowjob. In fact, he didn’t really want Gideon to do anything for him.

It seemed that both were focused on pleasuring the other more than themselves.

“Yeah… but it’s _your_ first time, and our first time together… I want to make sure you remember it.”

Gideon couldn’t avoid smiling. That was really sweet, almost romantic.

He let go of Nick’s balls and sat up on his knees, feeling the slender fox’s eyes on him as he licked the palm he was touching the officer with before slowly stroking himself. “And… what do you propose?”

Nick thought if Gideon was aware of what he was doing.

He asked that question in a low but rumbling voice, gazing into his eyes, biting his lower lip, showing the most seductive half-smile the former con artist had ever seen and all that while his right hand squeezed a thin thread of transparent liquid out of his dick.

Never mind whatever Gideon did.

Nick didn’t think twice.

“Fuck me.”

Gideon stopped abruptly.

“…what?”

“You heard me. I want you.” You could almost feel the desperation in Nick’s voice. He was growling, his irises piercing through the invisible barrier of doubts that now surrounded the plump vulpine. He knew what he wanted, and he made sure the baker knew too.

“O-okay… what do I do?” Gideon didn’t expect this to happen. He understood what sex entailed, but for some reason he thought they’d just give each other pawjobs or blowjobs, nothing more.

“Here,” Nick quickly grabbed a bottle of cherry flavored lube from his nightstand’s drawer and handed it to Gideon. “you know what to do with it, right?”

He indeed knew.

Well, he thought he knew.

At least it seemed easy in porn.

But he had read about it. It could be painful if done wrong.

No, he didn’t know what to do.

He looked at the bottle in his hands and then back at Nick.

“Uh…” Gideon wasn’t sure of what to say. ‘I don’t _~~want~~_ know how to fuck you’ wasn’t something he thought he’d ever say.

But he didn’t need to; Nick thought he understood what was going on. Of course, both of them were really horny, but telling someone who had never been with anyone to fuck him was too much, even if a moment ago he acted like he could make him cum just by looking at him.

He’d have to take the first step,

The truth is someone else might have accepted, but Gideon Grey was insecure, and it’s common for insecure people to worry. Even more when they consider the well-being of someone they love to be at risk.

Nick sighed and offered him a soft smile, sitting up to hold Gideon’s paws. “Want me to help you?”

The plump fox was still thinking about what to do. He tried to remember the steps they followed in the videos he had watched and… “Do you have a condom?”

“Ah, no… but I’m clean and I guess you are too?”

“Yeah, but…”

‘But…’

But he didn’t want to do it.

He didn’t feel ready.

Gideon knew that it was possible to enjoy anal sex, but he didn’t know how to make that happen.

He thought he’d do it wrong. He thought Nick only said that because he wanted to please him.

At that point fear was greater than arousal.

“I want this, Giddy.” Nick squeezed the baker’s paws, trying to make him understand what he was feeling; when he first said he wanted to ride his dick he was kidding, but now he needed that to happen.

He was sure Gideon would love it.

“But I… I don’t want to hurt you.”  The pudgy fox rebutted. It was possible to see the concern in his eyes; it was one of the few times they were completely open, even if they weren’t looking directly at the other vulpine.

And Nick’s mimicked his when he finally understood.

‘Oh, so that’s what it is.’ He thought. It was Gideon’s first time after all, and maybe he put too much pressure on him. The baker was shaking forty minutes ago just thinking about Nick touching him, of course that asking him to do this was going too far.

“…do you really want to do this?”

Gideon hesitated, but he was secretly glad Nick realized he was anxious. That didn’t mean he could tell the truth right away, “…yes” because he wanted to please the officer more than himself.

“Please, be honest.”

Nick’s intentions were similar; he just wanted Gideon to enjoy. He didn’t really like bottoming; it was hard for him to find joy in it, but he’d do anything for him. Maybe he could find it pleasurable if he was with Gideon, but he wouldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to do.

“I… I want to if you want to…”

Both of them would bend over backwards for the other, but in reality none of them wanted the other to do that. They’d settle for the bare minimum the other had to offer and that’d be more than enough; it wasn’t like they knew any better, nor they’d ask for any more from the other.

“Then I don’t want to.”

Gideon had avoided looking into Nick’s eyes up until then. He didn’t want to disappoint him or to confront Nick if he actually disappointed him, but when he faced the green irises they told him something.

_It’s okay. I understand._

The times he had met eyes like those were scarce.

“It’s not like we can’t do more things. Don’t worry.” Nick’s soft smile was back on. ‘God, he’s cute.’

He tugged at Gideon’s paws, trying to pull him closer. The pudgy vulpine didn’t resist and a moment after he was on all fours on top of Nick, their muzzles brushing against each other’s. “I’m sorry I messed up…”

The slender fox dismissed his apology because there was nothing to apologize for. In fact… “Hey, Gid, you’re still hard.”

“Yeah…”

“So am I.”

Gideon could only see the upper half of Nick’s face, so he couldn’t see his grin, but his gaze said everything he needed to know.

The former con artist took the bottle of lube from the baker’s right paw, making him curious enough to get on his knees and observe what he was doing.

Nick took the cap off and poured a generous amount on his lower belly before spreading it with his free paw. Then he proceeded to apply some more on it and wet himself from the tip to the base of his knot, and finally he repeated the action on Gideon, who gasped and leaned forward until their noses touched again.

He thought he understood what was going on, and that was something he was willing to do.

“You want me to-?”

Before he finished Nick was nodding, making their snouts brush again.

Gideon positioned himself, lying on top of the slender vulpine, holding his weight with his hands and accommodating his head between Nick’s neck and shoulder.

At first he could only feel the heat of Nick’s dick and his own against his belly. Their bodies acted like soft walls that cushioned their cocks, and now he just had to move.

He could do this.

He started grinding slowly, sliding with ease on Nick’s pubis, making their manhoods rub against each other.

It was pleasurable; so much Nick had to hold the other fox closer to avoid their bodies from separating, turning Gideon’s movements into short thrusts.

It didn’t take long until their breaths were nothing more than pants against each other’s fur. When they inhaled they could only smell each other, when they exhaled they could only excite each other.

The contact was almost mystical for Gideon; he didn’t need to penetrate Nick to feel this close to him.

In fact, he considered this to be better; he wouldn’t hurt him, he could feel every movement he made, and he could kiss him whenever he turned his head. That’s all he wanted, that’s all he needed.

Shortly after Gideon picked up the pace, drowning little moans in Nick’s neck. The movement of his hips was somewhat clumsy, but that wasn’t important. His rhythm was constant, and both he and Nick were delighted by the graze of their members.

Lack of experience and eagerness lead to scant stamina, and that’s why both foxes were getting close to climaxing before even leaking precum on each other’s fur. Maybe the previous experience dried them…

Nick crossed his legs around Gideon’s thighs, practically immobilizing him, and started thrusting upwards himself. Every push was followed by a growl that died in his throat before it abandoned his body, but the plump fox was close enough to hear them over his own gasps.

It was a vicious circle: every movement and every sound Nick made excited Gideon and prompted him to move more and moan and pant in response, exciting Nick, who reacted in a similar manner.

It was an equivalent exchange both of them could benefit from.

“Nick… I’m… close…”

The aforementioned fox could only growl in response. His grip on Gideon got tighter, so much he was practically pinching his back, and it was hard to differentiate which fur was who’s.

The baker tried to call Nick’s name again, but it was pointless; the slender vulpine took the lead and his erratic thrusts sent them both over the edge.

The smells, the touch, the sounds, their dicks rubbing against each other… it was the perfect combination for an orgasm they would remember.

This time Gideon muffled a scream against the mattress when he came. He felt it everywhere, from the tips of his ears to his toes, like an electric shock of pure pleasure that seemed to freeze time. The blanket under his paws suffered collateral damage, but it just ended a little wrinkled; it would’ve been worse if his claws weren’t dulled. It wasn’t his intention to do that, but Gideon couldn’t control himself. In the end he barely released anything since it was the third time he reached orgasm that morning, but it sure was better than the first two, probably because he knew he was really sharing it with Nick, or because this time he knew what to expect… never mind the “I don’t want to hurt you” interlude.

Nick’s was more abrupt. You could say that Gideon’s caused his. He was close, but he thought he’d need some more time before actually coming. The moment he heard Gideon’s “roar”, his body reacted; when the sheer masculinity of the other fox letting himself go reached his senses, he suddenly climaxed. It was strong; the way his hips jerked could be described as violent, almost as if he tried to free himself from the other fox’s weight.

But he loved it.

The rush of adrenaline and serotonin, the combination of fear and pleasure, the mixed stimuli… he had to stop himself from biting Gideon’s shoulder out of the precipitated sensation he felt. It’d be hard to put into words what it was like, but he wouldn’t complain if that happened again. Maybe some other time, though; now he was shaking almost as much as Gideon was before entering the room.

Perhaps he just was a little submissive in bed, but he had heard of pred-prey play… he couldn’t be into that kind of thing, right? Especially when both of them were predators…

Now the two melting foxes were facing the ceiling with similar big, dumb, content grins adorning their features, trying to catch their breaths and intertwine their paws. Now, more than ever, Nick wanted to be close to Gideon. And Gideon… Gideon wanted to kiss him, to thank him, to hold him close; he never hoped his first time would be like this. In fact, he had thought of contacting one of those ads on the Internet just to get rid of that social stigma that is being a virgin after certain age.

You know the ones.

But, fortunately, he never did.

“So... what do you think?” The officer asked between pants. He believed the plump fox enjoyed it, but he needed to hear it from him.

“I… I could marry you right now.” Gideon replied in a similar fashion.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m your first…” Nick dismissed Gideon’s statement with humor, because at the time, if he actually proposed, he’d most likely say yes. “but if you mean it, where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”

“Hmmm… I’ve heard Pawaii is nice.”

“Wanna go to Pawaii?”

“Sure, why not?”

“I mean now. Wanna go?”

“What?” Gideon finally turned his head to look at the other vulpine, whose eyes were still focused on the lamp above them.

“We can go.”

“Are you serious?” He tried to laugh, but Nick’s tone didn’t say otherwise.

“Yeah.”

“I… guess we could… but travelling’s expensive.” The baker actually considered it. They were on vacation, the only impediment could be money… oh, and Judy, maybe.

“Everything’s on me.”

Now this was some afterglow.

“Nick?” Did he mean it? Did he really want to take him to Pawaii? Could he really afford it?

The addressed mammal turned and looked at Gideon. His content smile didn’t match the pudgy fox’s dubious expression, and he could almost read the other’s mind. “Twenty years of scamming.”

That sentence only raised more questions. ‘How much money do you actually have?’ ‘Would it be really okay for you to pay for something like that?’ ‘Is it fair to spend that money at all?’

But before Gideon asked any of them, he needed to let Nick know he couldn’t accept.

“I don’t want you to spend that kind of money.”

“Well, I do.”

“I bet there are more important things you-“

“No. I’m supposed to spend it on what I like, and I like you.”

That was a convincing point, but still, Gideon wouldn’t feel right. He had always lived a humble lifestyle.

“Nick, I… I can’t…”

The slender vulpine did mean it, but since his proposition didn’t go the way he had expected, he decided to drop the subject.

“Giddy, don’t worry, I’m joking. Besides, I don’t even like the beach.”

Well, he had never been to one,

‘Oh, it was a joke…’ Gideon thought. Even if that was the case, there were a few things he wanted to know.

“Nick… how much money do you have?”

He hoped he wasn’t asking too much.

“A lot.”

Gideon wanted to know more, but pressing more on it would probably be going too far. He didn’t need an encore of what happened some minutes ago.

Luckily Nick decided to continue on his own accord.

“So much I could quit my job.”

Now that was unexpected; out of all the ways he could have phrased that, he chose that one…

“And… would you?”

“Quit my job?”

“Yeah. Don’t you like being a cop?”

Nick took his time to answer. He didn’t want to lie, not to Gideon, but maybe telling the truth would be anything but beneficial for their relationship…

But at the time his emotions were more powerful than any logic or reason.

He’d have to take that risk.

“…not really.”

To his surprise, the former con artist didn’t receive the reprimand he was expecting; many people thought they knew what was best for him, what he had to hate, what he had to like… but Gideon wasn’t one of those mammals. His own experiences taught him to be understanding.

“Why’s that?”

“I… I never really wanted to be a cop.”

“What about what you told me?”

Nick let Gideon’s paw go and propped himself up on his right elbow, acquiring a somewhat condescending look when he looked at the baker. “What about it?” He asked as if he ignored what the other vulpine was referring to.

“You told me-“

“I told you I settled for Judy’s dream.” The slender fox didn’t like to be questioned, so his interruption sounded a little harsh, but he really had no reason to get mad at Gideon, who was now looking at the mattress. It was surprising how much some things could affect him… maybe whatever therapy he went through was too much.

But since Gideon wanted to know, Nick would have to tell him. Again, communication is _fundamental._

Another first time that day.

The officer sighed and caressed the paw he had just freed with his free one. “It was an impulse, Giddy.” His voice was way mellower this time.

His words caught the pudgy fox’s attention, who laid his eyes on him again. Was he referring to his outburst or…?

“I… Judy… I had fun solving the night howlers’ case, I felt important...” Nick wasn’t sure of how to word it.

He’d just have to let his heart speak for him, as they say. “…but then I realized it wouldn't always be like that. Running around with Judy was fun, and it sure was better than what I was used to doing… but it’s not what I wanted.

Who knows? Maybe… maybe I’m trying to compensate for my life as a scammer, just in case karma is real or something... but driving around and filling papers isn't exactly justice. And I’m not even sure if justice is real…”

Gideon understood what he was referring to with that last sentence. He was a fox too, after all.

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know yet…”

He could quit, money wouldn’t be a problem, but what about his sense of self-worth? What would a rich and lonely mammal do?

Well… he had Gideon now.

“Hey, Giddy…”

“Hmm?”

“Want to move to the city?”

This time the baker didn’t react at all. Probably Nick was trying to make a joke just like the one about going to Pawaii. The plump vulpine simply rolled his eyes and tried to offer a smile, but Nick spoke up again.

“No, no; I mean it. I can quit my job, and you can move here with me! You can even bring your bakery if you want to, but you wouldn’t have to work if you don’t want to; I can maintain you.” He didn’t think he’d be annulling Gideon’s self-worth that way, but neither did the baker.

Discovering that the always calm and collected Nick was actually impulsive… well, he had a peek at that side of him the previous night, but he didn’t place much importance at the time. But now he was sober, and it really made him think…

“…Nick... is this an impulse too? I mean... being with me and... what you just told me. Is this…?”

The addressed mammal stopped him before he could continue; the tone and the words he was pronouncing were killing him. Nick scooted closer to him until their noses were touching.

He didn’t have second thoughts about their relationship. It’s true he didn’t have time to have them, but there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t like about Gideon. In a way, they were opposite sides of the same coin; and for once, heads and tails could meet.

“It is, but it's different. Being a cop is something that just happened; I guess Judy made me enjoy it. But you... I had always wanted to be with someone like you.” Nick didn’t falter. He was being completely honest, and he didn’t mind admitting it.

“...you won't get tired one day?”

Gideon had experienced abandonment before: his old friend, Travis, forgot about him because _“he changed”._ He wasn’t the bully he once was, he wasn’t the immature brat that enjoyed seeing others suffer attempting to alleviate his own pain… he indeed changed.

Travis didn’t.

Probably coming out to him had something to do with that too; at first he seemed okay, he even said he had his own doubts and wouldn’t mind using Gideon’s help to solve them, but after some time… Travis just left.

That wasn’t the Gideon he knew; he couldn’t accept change.

But the biggest loss in the baker’s life was his grandma, the one that took him in after his parents…

…

She actually took care of him, she really loved him, she taught him how to bake, she was always there for him, she supported him when he had to go to therapy... losing her was the biggest blow he had ever suffered.

In fact, his bakery was in her honor; he wanted to make her proud.

But at first it wasn’t easy; starting a business in a place where almost everyone gives you the stink eye just for existing… people start rumors, people hear rumors, people spread rumors, and the ones about him were never good.

Due to that, some time after another rumor spread.

A really _worrisome_ one.

And that **_rumor_** , which to this day hasn’t been nor confirmed or denied, was the one that convinced Bonnie Hopps to convince her husband to turn Gideon into their business partner.

He could take it if Nick suddenly left him.

Probably.

The slender fox finally replied.

“No... I don't think so... I don't know...”

Again he was being honest, and the plump vulpine appreciated that. He did falter this time, because just like everyone else, just like Gideon, he had doubts about his future… their future.

“…

...

But we're enjoying ourselves, right? Why should we worry about that now? ”

He was right.

Maybe Gideon overreacted.

They were just talking hypothetically, weren’t they?

In fact, what even is certain in life?

“Yeah... I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I worry too.”

He did.

Even if he was still excited after their first time together and talked a little too much, he was worried. About Gideon’s happiness, about his reaction… usually when you tell someone that you’re rich they ask you to buy something expensive for them, but it seemed that Gideon worried about Nick too. Not about what he had, but about who he was.

He didn’t love him for his possessions; he loved him for him, because he _needed_ it; because now he also needed him.

He wanted nothing but the best for him, even if he didn’t know what the best was; but he’d like to be there to discover what it is. He wanted to be with him when that happened.

“Hey, Nick.”

“Hmm?”

“You know what's what I like the most about you?”

“Mmm... my ears?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You... you know that feeling when you meet someone and... you know they're not being themselves, that they're trying to appeal you?”

Nick loved seeing this side of Gideon.

He never liked talking to anyone in general, but the baker was different... maybe it was the thematic connection between their lives what made them understand each other: rough childhood, grow up to become someone who lied to those around them... well, Gideon's case was an exception: he lived in a place where practically everyone triggered his rural self. Only Nick knew how thoughtful he could actually be.

And Nick... that was his defense mechanism. He only let Gideon know his real self. That was an impulse he didn’t regret.

Loneliness, repression, isolation... everyone has a limit.

Luckily they found each other.

They should thank Judy. Again.

"Yeah, I know it really well..."

"I didn't feel that when I met you."

"I didn't pretend to be someone else."

"I felt… that I was meeting the real you, and that's what made me trust you."

“I feel the same way, Giddy; like I know the smart, thoughtful and caring fox you really are.”

“Hah, you sure hold me in high esteem.”

“See? Who says that kinda stuff? I bet they wouldn’t understand a word if you talked like that in Bunny Burrows.”

“I don’t know, Nick…”

“That’s why… that’s why I asked you to move here... so you can be you.”

Gideon didn’t reply to that.

He hadn’t seen it like that, but Nick was right; in Zootopia the only one who’d make him talk like the old Gideon was Judy, but with time he could probably solve that.

He’d have to think about it.

…

"Hey, Giddy..."

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… I don’t know… everything!”

“Everything?”

“Everything!”

"Then... thank you too, Nick; for everything!”

…

“…

…we should shower.”

And like that, their day advanced the same way it started; cuddling and exchanging whispers. That was a new experience for both of them, but they could get used to it.

Well, that entire morning was full of new experiences.

\---

“Uh, Nick? You were joking when you said that you’d have to introduce me to your mom, right?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah; don’t sweat it, Gid.”

“No, I mean, it’s okay, I don’t mind, but you said it at a time…”

“Well, we can go see her if you want to… we’d be there on time for lunch.”

“Uh… I…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned if you want... I don't know. You guys like drama?


	6. Wednesday III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having lunch with mom. 
> 
> So much fun.
> 
> Fun, fun, fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trilogy ends.

Surprisingly enough, the subway wasn't cramped.

In the end Nick convinced Gideon to go visit the officer's mother. Well, he didn't exactly convince him since he didn't have to insist.

It was the opposite of a battle of wills: Gideon kept saying he'd go if Nick wanted him to go, and Nick always replied that they'd only go if Gideon wanted. Finally, when the slender fox thought he had "won", believing they'd stay in, the baker caught him off guard.

"Do you think your mom would like me?"

Nick didn't have to think his reply twice.

"Of course! You are the nicest fox I've ever met; she'd probably love you more than me."

He believed she actually could; Veronica didn't like it when he first started his "business". She even compared him to those foxes who live in the badlands, but after some time she had no choice but to accept it.

Some years had to pass before that happened.

She didn't want to lose her son. She was worried, scared of what could happen to Nick, just like any mother would be. She had always been worried about his future, not because she believed he wasn’t capable, but because he’s a fox. Veronica knew Nick wouldn’t have an easy life, and when she discovered he was doing what many expected him to do, an overwhelming feeling of defeat took over her.

His son was the untruthful hustler their society thought he’d be.

But since he became a police officer, things seemed to be less tense. She was still worried, of course, but at least now he was on the law's side. Both of them pretended to have forgotten about Nick’s past, as if those years never happened.

Nick didn’t ask her about what she did during the time they spent apart, and Veronica didn’t either.

Now their conversations were brief, superficial; both of them avoided making questions whose answers could be detrimental for their still fragile relationship.

Even if they were mother and son, Veronica and Nick barely knew each other.

The vixen didn’t have anything against his son anymore; she understood the motivation behind Nick’s actions, but she feared she’d lose him again if she pushed too much. From time to time she accepted money from him, even if she didn’t want it. Veronica knew why he had such surplus; a regular officer’s salary wouldn’t allow him to give her an extra thousand every month, and even if she hated to take it, she’d hate even more rejecting the only thing her son offered her.

Nick on the other hand hadn't forgiven himself for disappointing his mother. There were many things he’d like to know, many things he’d like to say… but he didn’t know how she’d react, and perhaps he couldn’t take the answers he’d receive. Giving her part of the money that separated them was his way of saying he was sorry. He believed there was nothing he could do to compensate her.

Since none of them dared to take the first step and open that Pandora’s Box, they’d probably never solve the problems and doubts that stood in their way.

Who knows, maybe with time…

Now the foxes were sitting in an almost empty wagon, and Gideon started to have second thoughts about what was going to happen, even when he was the one who said he wanted to go.

Because he believed that was what Nick really wanted...

After a quick shower and a session of “what should I wear to meet your mom”, the baker asked how he should introduce himself.

“A big banner with something like ‘My name is Gideon Grey and I love your son very much’ should do it.”

“No. No, no, no, no. No!” Gideon was panicking; sometimes Nick’s jokes hit soft spots. Judy knew that well. “That was funny, but… can we keep our relationship a secret?” Each one of his words decreased in volume and increased in pitch as he pronounced them.

In the end they agreed Nick would introduce him as "Judy's friend that now is also his friend because he's spending the week at his apartment". Nick wasn't worried about that; Veronica knew Finnick, she'd love Gideon. But they wouldn't say they were more than friends because they weren't ready for the flurry of questions that'd surely come their way.

Gideon was too nervous, and Nick… he just wanted to have a good time. Maybe Gideon could help him and his mom to get closer, or at least say something aside from “how are you?” and “I’m fine, and you?”.

Nick looked at his phone. 11:17

“We’ll be there in half an hour.” The officer said attempting to start a conversation and stop Gideon from looking at his feet and fiddling with his shirt. It wasn’t even noon and the baker had had more exciting experiences than in the last lustrum. Zootopia sure was a lively city.

“Ah… right.” Gideon replied with a nod. He didn’t seem too talkative at the moment; he was considering all the things that could go wrong now that he had come back to his senses, so Nick would have to be the one doing the talking. Overthinking wouldn’t be fruitful for any of them.

“You know? You’re going to see the house I grew up in, maybe even a few baby pictures.” The pudgy vulpine finally looked at him with a small smile on his lips. He’d like to see those.

Nick looked at his phone one last time before putting it back in his pocket. He’d have to think of something else to say since Gideon wasn’t-

“Hey, Nick… what was growing up in Zootopia like?”

Oh, that was unexpected. And also a good question.

The former con artist rubbed his chin in thought. Up until he was five everything was okay; no problems he knew of. His parents always tried to protect him from them. But then his father disappeared, and he and his mom lived on the edge of poverty. Veronica did her best to keep food on their table, but sometimes someone’s best isn’t enough…

After the incident with the Ranger Scouts his views on everything and everyone around him started to change, and then things didn’t get much better… but that wasn’t a good answer.

“I guess it wasn’t bad… traffic and mammals everywhere, a yellow bus taking me to school... and when I was little my mom used to bring me desserts from the place she worked at.” Gideon’s question caught him by surprise, and that was the best he could come up with. He didn’t lie, but there were certain things he’d like to keep to himself for now. “What about you? What was growing up in the Burrows like?”

The plump fox realized then that Nick didn’t mention his dad. Maybe he died? Or… was he dead to Nick? Anyway, it wasn’t his turn to ask. Besides, he wouldn’t ask something like that; but he’d be there if Nick wanted to tell him.

Growing up in Bunny Burrows would have been hard enough just for being a fox, but his parents made it even harder. Gideon’s mother was… there. She just was there. Obedient to his father, completely indifferent to whatever happened to him; and his father… he couldn’t remember how many times he wished he never existed during one of those nights he was forced to sleep in the barn after a beating.

His father wished the same.

_“…wha would Ah wanna useless little shit like ya fer a son?!”_

_“…next time ya decide to go to ta lake wit’ that li’l boyfriend of yers ya betta’ make sure ya drown or Ah’ll make sure ya do mahself!”_

And… there were some other memories. Many more. Memories he either had forgotten; or memories that, one way or another, were _erased_ from his mind. Memories that not even his therapist knew of, memories that not even _himself_ remembered… but those repressed memories loomed over his well-being. They shaped him, they forced him to talk like the child he was when those traumatic events happened whenever something unconsciously reminded him of that time. Like a symptom of a sickness he doesn’t know he has.

Luckily there were no visible scars on his body, and if he couldn’t remember what happened back then… you know what they say about ignorance being bliss, right?

It’d be pretty much okay as long as his accent was the only thing that certain triggers caused.

But no, he shouldn’t focus on that.

He also had good memories: his friends… well, his _friend,_ Travis… no, none of the memories he had of him were especially happy.

The only one that didn’t remind him of his past was his grandma; she was who made him believe he could have a future. But he was older when that happened… she… he moved there after…

_…_

_He did remember._

_…_

“Gid. Gid!”

Nick had to shake Gideon to awake him from the stupor he was in.

“Ah! Wha?!”

He didn’t realize he was zoning out. Maybe he took too much time thinking his reply?

“Are you okay?”

Gideon didn’t know why he asked, but Nick could see tears running down his cheeks. The former bully didn’t even notice when that happened; he didn’t sob, his respiration was steady, his expression didn’t shift…

“Yeah, don’ worry; Ah jus’ was… thinkin’ what to… say...”

Gideon’s eyes went wide when he heard himself.

“Your accent…”

The baker quickly covered his mouth with his paws ‘Why is this happening now?!’ and looked at Nick, whose expression was an imitation of his. He felt something else when he touched his muzzle: certain wetness he couldn’t explain. ‘Am I crying?!’

He was hysterical. There was no reason for this to happen! Did his tongue and his eyes go nuts? He was thinking about what to answer… and… Bunny Burrows, and… his grandma…

‘That’s it…’

Nick was getting scared; he didn’t know what to do or say. What was going on? Did Gideon do that on purpose? No… his jokes weren’t so morbid. Was it because of his question? But he was equally startled… didn’t he know what was happening to him?

“Gideon…”

The addressed mammal lifted one of his paws; he needed a moment. His heart rate was out control, his brain decided to replay moments that’d be better off forgotten, and his current level of stress almost lead him to scream his lungs out.

But he was in public and a little something in the back of his mind stopped him from raising his voice at all.  He settled for closing his eyes, leaning back on his seat, and taking a deep breath.

He just needed to calm down, right? This is what his therapist recommended him to do whenever his emotions got out of control.

Nick held his free paw trying to comfort him. He couldn’t think of anything else at the moment.

It helped more than he thought.

It helped Gideon concentrate on his present.

He wasn’t that confused kit anymore, he had nothing to fear, no one wanted to hurt him, and he had Nick.

He had Nick.

He had Nick.

Nick’s paw was squeezing his.

Perhaps he was relying too much on him, but he couldn’t think about that at the moment; he needed to grasp his current reality.

_He had Nick._

After almost five minutes, Gideon finally opened his eyes.

“Nick…”

“Gid…”

“I’m sorry; I think I can’t answer you.” The plump fox weakly replied looking at Nick, trying to offer a tired smile.

But the officer didn’t care about that, he was truly worried. It was the first time he faced a situation like that, and his poor reaction got him thinking about what would have happened if something worse happened to Gideon. What if… what if he suffered another breakdown and he couldn’t control himself? What would they do then?

In the end the baker made him understand he had nothing to worry about, that that was something incidental; he just happened to think about things he should avoid.

Nick wasn’t entirely sure of his words; not because he doubted Gideon, but because maybe not even the pudgy vulpine knew what just happened. And he cursed whoever treated him; what kind of therapist doesn’t try to put an end to something like this?

The officer told him they could go back home if he wanted, but Gideon insisted he was okay. Hey, at least meeting Nick’s mom didn’t worry him that much anymore. In fact now he was curious; he’d like to see what a mother vixen was like.

\---

By the time they arrived at their destination, they were completely calmed down, at least apparently. They were the only ones abandoning that wagon; the rest of passengers, around 15 mammals, just ignored their existence the same way they did when Gideon was having a panic attack.

They didn’t have to walk much to reach Veronica’s place, but the baker had time to look around. He liked this neighborhood; it was more residential than Nick’s, with fewer stores and more parks around them.

Nick told him they were on the northernmost side of Downtown, and if they kept going north they’d reach the Rainforest District. They passed Sahara Square on their way there, but they were too busy at the time to realize.

And after this brief lesson of Geography, “Are you ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

Nick was knocking on his mom’s front door. The building seemed old but trusty, just like the rest on the block.

Faint steps could be heard from outside, and…

“Nicky? What a surprise! What are you doing here?” The vixen who opened that wooden door wasn’t exactly what Gideon was expecting.

Veronica was as tall as him, and even if her features didn’t give away that she was three decades older than him, she had this “aura” around her; the sensation of being a hard worker, someone who had to put effort into everything she did. Someone who didn’t have it easy at all.

Her frame was just like Nick’s, the color of her fur was a little lighter than theirs for obvious reasons, and she was wearing a loose, violet robe-dress that honestly seemed really comfortable.

He wasn’t so nervous anymore, something about her made him feel more at ease. Who knows, maybe he was so desperate he just was glad he met another vulpine; or maybe he automatically liked her because she was Nick’s mom.

Oops, he was zoning out again; mother and son were still talking.

“(…) and I thought “hey, let’s go see my mom”. And, mom,” Nick turned to look at the plump fox. A smirk visited his features for a fraction of a second before continuing “this is Gideon. He’s Judy’s friend that’s now also my friend because he’s spending the week at my place.”

Just like they rehearsed.

‘What an explanation’, Veronica thought. She took a quick look at the pudgy fox standing next to his son; he wasn’t from Zootopia, so he couldn’t be bad… probably not as bad as the majority of foxes that lived there.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am.” He wasn’t sure if he should shake her hand, or hug her… but since he was _exclusively a friend_ , he simply stood in place and smiled.

‘At least he seems polite.’ “Likewise; I hope my son is treating you right.”

“Oh, he sure is! He’s… his couch is really comfy.” Gideon had to bite his tongue; even if he was more relaxed, there were a few things he couldn’t say. But at least his accent wasn’t showing up, and he considered that to be an advantage.

‘And he doesn’t sound like that fennec…’ “Don’t stand there, come in; I was about to have lunch.” Veronica offered. That’s what they were there for after all.

The male vulpines obliged. Nick walked in first, followed closely by Gideon.

Now that they were in a closed space, Veronica could smell something clearly; his son’s “friend” _reeked_ of Nick. A small smile appeared on her face; it didn’t necessarily mean anything since they were living in Nick’s apartment, but hey, a vixen can imagine.

“It smells great in here, mom.” Nick commented as they reached the living room. It was rare seeing him being honest; perhaps that comment didn’t give it away, but whenever he was around her, “slick Nick” wasn’t. His cool façade disappeared, he was only Nick; a regular mammal.

_‘Smells…’_

“Oh, about that; do you remember Honey, from the diner?” She turned around, standing under the frame of her kitchen door, to see Nick nodding. He indeed remembered her; she was who made the desserts her mom brought home from time to time, and also a really nice honey badger. “She came by this morning. She runs a bar now, and she told me something about an event she had today and a customer that reminded her of me… long story short, we spent the morning gossiping and she brought lunch.”

Veronica, unlike his son, was always truly sincere, no matter what situation she was in.

‘A bar… and Ben told me…’

“Mom, is her bar by any chance in east Savanna? Around Berry Lane?”

“Yes, that’s what Honey told me. Why? You know it?”

“I… think I’m that customer.”

Nick explained (vaguely) what they did the previous night, and yes, it seemed that lunch was actually on him. Gideon didn’t really intervene; he was looking around the cozy room, seeing pictures of a little Nick on practically every wall. He was really cute, and he seemed happy in all of them, but in most of them he appeared either alone or with his mom…

Veronica caught him peeking while Nick was talking, and since she didn’t like having strangers looking around her house, she’d have to at least know a little about him. His son seemed to get along well with him, and… did Nick smell differently too? She knew her son’s scent well, and she was sure she smelled something else.

“So, Gideon, what brings you to Zootopia? Don’t tell me you want to be a cop too.” There were certain things that made obvious that Veronica was Nick’s mother. Little things, many mammals would ignore them; but Gideon _wanted_ to see them. And so, he did.

“Oh, no, no, ma’am. I’m a baker; I’m just here to see the city.”

To Nick the plump fox seemed surprisingly… charismatic. He didn’t think he was socially inept, but thirty minutes ago Gideon wasn’t exactly in his prime; and this entire situation… he shouldn’t think too hard.

Everything was going alright and that’s all that mattered.

“A baker, huh? Are you any good?”

“I think Nick should answer that.”

The addressed mammal nodded and patted Gideon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry mom, but his blueberry pie is better than yours.”

Wait. Did he just say that? Even if he meant it, he shouldn’t have. He saw their banter and he thought he could join them. The last time he tried his mom’s blueberry pie he was fourteen, and now his comment ruined everything; he couldn’t say that kind of things, their relationship-

“If that’s true I’d love to try it.”

Nothing changed.

Nick, stop thinking so hard.

“You got it, ma’am.”

“Oh, please; stop calling me that. I’m just Veronica; Vero if you prefer.”

Gideon and Veronica’s first impression of each other was similarly positive. And if her intuition wasn’t lying, she was probably talking to her soon-to-be son-in-law. Perhaps she was exaggerating, but her nose literally told her that he and his son were a little more than friends.

“Well, boys, are you hungry?”

Gideon was; the many excitements that morning brought sure whetted his appetite. Nick on the other hand was still recovering from the brief quarrel he had against his demons.

Too bad his mom solicited his help in the kitchen.

Veronica told the plump fox to stay in the living room meanwhile. “What kind of hostess would I be if I put you to work the moment I met you? Besides, I’m sure you already spend enough time in a kitchen, Mr. Baker.”

The truth is she wanted a moment alone with her son.

“What did Honey bring? Chocolate cake, by any chance?” Nick asked while he set the table. This brought back memories, good memories; the last time he had lunch there was… many years ago. He tried to make a habit of visiting Veronica, but since they didn’t talk much, his visits were rather short, usually in the afternoon.

“Yes Nick, we’re having chocolate cake for lunch.” She joked. Maybe irony ran in the family. In any case, her smiles weren’t scarce, and even if sometimes they were a little forced, they always appeared fond. “So, how was Honey’s place?” She served two plates of the honey badger’s eggplant casserole as Nick brought the third one, thinking his reply.

“It was really calm; no loud music, no dance floor, pink lights… I think I saw a pool table.”

“Really? Honey? She used to say she wanted to open her own business, but coming from her I expected a rock club or a bakery/liquor store.”

“Heh, that sounds good. You should tell Gid about that.”

“Gid, Gid… you mean Gideon? He has his own bakery?”

“Yeah, and he also works with Judy’s parents.”

Nick just called her Judy; he was at home, he didn’t have to put any effort into being funny, and his subconscious told him that was a “ _correct behavior_ ” his mom would like.

However Veronica noted a little something in her son’s voice when he mentioned the other fox. Everything was ready, they could sit down at the table… but Veronica wanted to talk a little more.

“So… you and… Gid…?” She hesitated before using the same term of endearment Nick did, though by doing so she caught his full attention. Her question, if you could call it that, was vague to say the least; but her tone spoke volumes.

“Me and Gid…?” Nick stretched the “Gid”, imitating her pitch. Could she, by any chance, have discovered they were…? No, that was impossible! They gave away no evidence!

“You know…” It was the first time Veronica was dealing with… Nick’s romantic affairs. She never had the chance before, and somehow, it was exciting. Even though that might not be the best way to do so…

“No, I don’t.” Playing dumb was the best tactic he could come up with at the moment. He could just admit it, he didn’t really care, but Gideon asked him not to and he’d commit.

“Oh, come on Nick, I’m your mom! You can tell me anything!” An approach like that could actually work… with a teenager purposely willing to tell, maybe. She secretly hoped they could make up for lost time, and that’s how things were like before Nick left; she was “stuck”, Veronica couldn’t help acting like a meddling mom.

But Nick was too old to fall for that.

Besides, there were many things he _couldn’t_ tell.

“But I don’t have anything to tell you, mom.”

The thing is she was Nick Wilde’s mother, and after all, the apple and the tree…

“Oh, well; my nose told me otherwise…” Veronica _casually_ dropped as she walked towards the door, making Nick’s ears perk up. Now he knew what Gideon felt that morning and he didn’t like it, even less coming from his own mom.

And now she was going to the living room, where Gideon was looking at the many framed portraits of the Wilde family.

‘No. No, no, no. No! She wouldn’t-‘

“Hey, Gideon,” the vixen called in a mellow voice, catching the baker’s attention and alerting his son.

“Yes, ma… eh, Veronica?” There was a brief pause before she continued. Nick was speechless; what was he supposed to do? What if Gideon couldn’t take it? What if she provoked-?!

“Lunch’s ready, go wash your paws; you too Nick, tell him where’s the bathroom.”

That… wasn’t too bad.

Nick obliged and guided the pudgy fox in silence. Boy, couldn’t he take a break?

Gideon commented on Veronica being really nice, to which the slender fox replied with a half-hearted “I guess.”

And there they were, about to have lunch…

\---

It all started when Gideon said “I love your house, Veronica.”

Then a seemingly innocuous conversation began.

_“What’s your home like, Gideon?”_

_(…)_

_“What was Nick like when he was little?”_

_(…)_

_“Oh, you two almost look like brothers, with matching shirts and everything!”_

_“You’re right! We didn’t do it on purpose, though. Maybe we’re spending too much time together.”_

_(…)_

_“Do you like Zootopia so far?”_

_(…)_

_“If it isn’t too much asking, what do you do for a living, Veronica?”_

_(…)_

Time for the second course: swordfish with leek sauce. Honey could have opened a restaurant as far as Veronica and her guests were concerned.

Nick didn’t even finish his first; having Gideon and his mom talking about… well, just _talking_ didn’t make his visit any less tense. But at least the other two vulpines seemed to be at ease with each other…

That’d be a good thing if it wasn’t for Veronica’s curiosity; every time Gideon answered one of her questions she was more convinced of her suspicions, and now that they were getting along she took the liberty to be bolder.

Poor Nick.

“So, Gideon… is there someone waiting for you back in Bunny Burrows?”

The officer’s eyeballs almost abandon his skull when he heard her; good thing he wasn’t swallowing anything at the moment or his mom would be covered in bits of fish and saliva.

Nick looked at Gideon trying to conceal his alarmed expression behind his glass of water, and the plump fox… was relaxed. That was even more surprising; he expected him to be at least a little anxious, but now he resembled the Nick that wasn’t there, half-lidded eyes, peaceful expression and all.

“I don’t think so, Vero;” If she could be less subtle, he could be less formal, “maybe a few customers or Judy’s family, but that’s about it.”

What was Nick witnessing? It was like… a poker game; both vulpines weren’t showing their true colors…

“Really? I thought that a fox as handsome as you would have a vixen missing him at home…”

…but Nick couldn’t put his finger on what they were gambling on, though for a moment he was sure they just wanted him to suffer a heart attack. He wanted to intervene, he wanted to stop them, he wanted to go back to his apartment with Gideon… but he couldn’t do that.

Literal mixed feelings are a bitch.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not into vixens…”

_‘No, no, no, no, no, no…’_

“Oh?”

“I’m gay, Veronica.”

“Ah! Just like my-“

Nick almost externalized his internal screaming. Now he was sure; Gideon and his mom were trying to kill him.

He needed to get away from there.

He stood up and took his plate to the countertop. He barely ate anything at all, but it was okay, he wasn’t hungry.

When Veronica and the baker noticed him, (they were incredibly focused on their conversation), they asked him where he was going/if he was okay. Nick just nodded and said he was going to wash his paws.

The moment he reached the bathroom, he closed the door behind him and suppressed a scream against the pile of towels his mom kept under the sink.

He wouldn’t admit it, but aside from being uncomfortable, he was also a little jealous because _they could talk._

Nick wanted that.

He didn’t want what was happening at the moment.

Maybe visiting Veronica was a mistake… perhaps he shouldn’t make any choices right after sex. It’d be better to wait until his brain functioned properly again.

He washed his hands and his face _‘I’m sweating a lot’,_ and took a deep breath before abandoning the bathroom.

His plan was to join them briefly and then make an excuse to leave with Gideon. ‘I still have a lot to show him’ or just ‘We have plans’ would do it. He’d talk to Veronica in private next time…

But when Nick went back to the kitchen he found his mom hugging the baker, whose expression was awfully apologetic.

‘I’m sorry.’ He mouthed.

He. Told. Her.

“I knew it! Nicky wouldn’t tell me, but it was clear! I mean, he doesn’t make friends that easily,”

Three.

“and I was sure my nose wasn’t lying,”

_Two._

“and besides, why would he introduce us anyway?”

**_One._ **

**Nick couldn’t take it.**

What about the doubts?! What about trust?! Why would he tell her?! What, did Gideon think that Nick was the only one who wasn’t allowed to do so?! For fuck’s sake, he almost went into a cardiac arrest when Nick joked about telling her!

He felt betrayed.

_Why? Mom liked Gideon, and that’s what mattered, right?_

No… yes…?

_Besides, you never told Gid he couldn’t tell her._

He didn’t, but he thought the baker would understand their secrecy went both ways.

Nick stormed out of there, walking fast until he reached the front door. He felt lightheaded, faint, dazed, as if not only his head but also his limbs could note what just had happened. Even his lungs felt weak, making it hard to breathe properly… maybe outside it’d be easier.

_To be fair, Gideon didn’t know about how things are between you and her. You can’t blame him._

_‘He… he’s being selfish!’_

_No, he isn’t._

_‘I can’t even talk to her! And he… he’s just there…!’_

_He shouldn’t?_

_‘No! Not like that… I’m her son!’_

_You are, so what? You think she’s going to replace you? That she will love someone she just met more than her own son?_

_‘I… no…_

_…_

_I don’t know, okay?!’_

_Then why are you acting like this? You’re like a little kit throwing a tantrum. Is another boy playing with a toy you forgot you have? Oh, poor thing._

_‘Fuck you!’_

_Do you think that’s the proper way to talk to your-_

_‘Don’t you dare say it!’_

_Why? It’s the truth._

Conscience is different for every one of us. It takes different shapes; different voices based on our fears, our traumas, our manias, our behavior… maybe an event from our past unconsciously makes us be the way we are.

Gideon had his accent, and Nick…

_I’m here because of you, Nicky._

_‘Shut up!’_

Was he crying?

Yes, yes he was. Since when was he so emotional?

_I’m here because you wanted me to be. When you said “I miss you, ___”_

_And now Gideon is here because you wanted him to be._

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Up until that moment, the battle he was doing against himself stayed strictly in his mind; but when Gideon and Veronica heard him yell they rushed to see what was going on.

At first she said Nick just needed a moment alone. She thought that was all he needed.

Because she still thought she knew him.

Gideon believed her.

He thought she’d know Nick better than him.

But she didn’t.

Nick tried to literally run away from his problems, but he was blinded by whatever he was feeling.

And crossing the street with your eyes closed is dangerous.

Veronica and Gideon heard tires screeching and a thump right before leaving the building to see Nick lying on the ground in front of a worn-out car.

Nick could see asphalt. He thought he could also hear multiple voices calling his name, but everything went black shortly after.

The driver could see and hear a mistake.

…

_‘What are you doing here?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand this is the end. Of the first act.
> 
> I think; I’m not really sure how arcs and acts work…
> 
> Anyway, this is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I don’t know… what a commitment! But it’s not that bad, right? It’s extemporized, after all.  
> Extemporized. That sounds expensive. English is such a rich language.
> 
> But out of the many, many words that form it I couldn’t choose any others for the title… 
> 
> Well, what’s important is that I love you.


	7. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wakey, wakey
> 
> Eggs and pain

(…)

_“Gid… what time is it?”_

_“Almost seven.”_

_“Hmmm…”_

(…)

He awoke once again.

It took him some time to open his eyes; his eyelids seemed to weigh more than usual, and when his eyeballs were finally exposed, everything was dark. Just a dim light came through the open door across the room.

There was something on his face… some kind of tube? It reached his nose.

Every breath he took smelled of plastic.

His body refused to obey when he tried to sit up; a dull pain in his torso pushed him down on the hard mattress he was lying on, and something on his left arm limited his movements. Another tube? Maybe a wire?

Was he high? Moving in general was hard, as if he was weighed down by some invisible force; and thinking was completely out of the question, his ears were ringing and his brain couldn’t focus enough as to ponder on where he was or why he was there.

But another noise made it through the ringing. Breathing, heavy breathing… snores? He wasn’t alone.

He looked around trying to find its source. In his current state seeing in the dark was almost impossible, but eventually he could discern the shadow of a figure sitting next to his bed.

He’d have to give talking a try; at least his throat didn’t hurt.

“Hey…” He almost didn’t recognize himself. Was that his voice? Did someone file his vocal chords? …did he turn into a hellish demon?

His attempt elicited no response from the figure by his side.

He’d have to try again, louder this time. “Hey…!”

Did it work? The figure wasn’t snoring anymore, and it stirred and put one of its hands on his right knee.

“Nick?”

The figure whispered his name, so he probably knew whoever that animal was.

“Nick, do you need anything?”

Of course he knew him; it was Gideon. Nick already had an idea of where he was, but how did he get there? He remembered being at his mother’s house, and they were having lunch, and…

Oh…

The slender fox tried to swallow before responding, but that action gave him the answer he’d give the baker.

“Water.”

“Sure,” he heard rummaging through a plastic bag, and a moment after the plump fox stood up. “Do you need help?”

To drink? It’s not like he was dying, he could do it himself. He tried to lift his arm to grab the bottle Gideon had in his paw, but it seemed that now millions of ants lived in his veins… he gave up before spilling the water on himself and nodded. He’d feel pathetic if he could, but feeling wasn’t exactly easy right then.

Gideon had no problem seeing in the dark, so he proceeded. He had heard that couples feeding each other could be romantic, but that’s not the word he’d use to describe that situation.

Eight fluid ounces later the younger fox sat down again.

“You should rest; it’s one in the morning.”

No, Nick had other plans; sure, his body was still heavy, but he had no need to move.

He ignored Gideon’s suggestion and spoke again.

“I’m… at the hospital, right?” Now his voice sounded a little better; raspier than usual, but you could tell it was Nick’s.

“Yeah…” The baker didn’t like it. He didn’t like hospitals, or the reason why they were there, or the new mammal he met a few hours ago... he’d remember that Wednesday forever. “How are you feeling?”

“Morphined.” Was all he replied.

“The nurse made sure you wouldn’t feel pain…” Gideon felt like he needed some himself; this whole situation pained the plump fox. In the dark the trail of tears left on his fur wasn’t visible, but he had a hard time suppressing what he felt.

“Am I dying?”

“No, but you have two cracked ribs and you hit your head really hard…” Aside from some bruises and scrapes, but those didn’t need much attention.

“…I’ll survive; I’ve been through worse.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Even if he wanted to know more, Gideon refrained from asking; it wouldn’t make anything easier, would it?

Nick couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He still had a few questions to make, but succumbing to the effects of strong narcotics when they’re being injected directly into your bloodstream is inevitable.

“Nick… do you remember what happened?”

The addressed fox didn’t get to hear Gideon’s question.

They could talk in the morning.

\---

Even if the blinds were down, a few sunrays managed to get in the room.

Both foxes awakened when a nurse went into the room; none of them knew much about medicine, but after whatever thing that otter did, Nick could feel more pain and Gideon saw that the slender fox wasn’t as groggy. At least he could understand him when he spoke.

After almost an hour, another nurse visited the room.

Nick didn’t want the breakfast he was offered; he tried the brownish paste on the tray before him, but he was sure whatever it was wasn’t good for anyone’s health. It tasted just like carboard smells.

He was hungry, but he’d rather eat something actually edible.

Luckily for him Gideon didn’t only have water in his plastic bag; he bought a few snacks after being told Nick would have to spend the night there.

The slender vulpine couldn’t thank him enough; he chose the long bun, or as Gideon called it, éclair. Oh, and it was cream-filled! Well, this day seemed to be off to a good start… if you ignored the pain, that is.

“How are you feeling today?” Gideon asked. He was tired; he barely slept at all that night, and a plastic chair isn't the most comfortable piece of furniture for anyone to rest on. But Nick appeared to be better, so his mood automatically improved.

“Not too bad… I’m alive, I still have all my limbs...” At least his humor wasn’t affected. What a better situation to resort to coping mechanisms?

“I’m glad.” The pudgy fox sure was; his mind went to the worst case scenario when he saw Nick lying on the ground, but if he said was fine…

Now he’d have to seize the moment; they were conscious, and Nick was able to maintain a conversation. He’d pick up where they left off. “So… do you remember what happened?”

“…bad lunch?” Nick kidded. He had memory gaps; if he tried to think about what happened, certain images flashed in his mind, but nothing solid.

Gideon didn’t laugh; he didn’t think any of this was funny. For once he needed him to be serious.

“Yeah, bad lunch indeed…”

The baker filled Nick in on what happened the previous day, but honestly he almost preferred not to remember any of it; he could live without knowing he “acted strange” when Gideon and Veronica were talking. He of course recalled everything; he didn’t hit his head _that_ hard, he didn’t even bleed, but now that he thought about it… that didn’t sound too bad. At least that way he could avoid cringing as hard as he was.

The plump vulpine continued talking until he mentioned the accident that brought them here.

“…and that’s when we found you on the ground.”

“My mom’s here too?”

“Yes, they let us come in the ambulance with you…”

“So? Did you call the cops? Do you know who hit me?”

Gideon feared Nick would ask something like that. He did know who hit him… but that only made telling him ever harder. How could he say _something like that_? That’d be… a really bitter pill to swallow, and no medication could heal the damage it could provoke.

He was sure.

Gideon tried three or four times to compose a coherent sentence, but every time he tried to speak up his throat went dry.  Too bad he had no more water.

“Well?” Nick was getting impatient. He wasn’t at the top of his form, but at least now he could think with some clarity, and it was evident the baker was hiding something from him.

“You…”

He didn’t want to say it; he couldn’t. It hit really close to home, _literally._

In the end Gideon had no choice but to take the coward’s way and place the responsibility upon someone else.

She’d probably make it sweeter.

“I think… it’s better if your mom tells you.”

What? What did he mean by that? That bad was it? Come on, it wasn’t like she herself ran him over, was it?

Nick wasn’t up for confrontation, so he just accepted it; it’d be pointless to insist if he wasn’t going to get any answers.

The baker stood up, but Nick had one last request before he could go call anyone.

“Hey, Gid… can you help me go to the bathroom?”

Intimacy wasn’t a problem for them, not really; besides, Nick had no concept of embarrassment at the moment, and Gideon didn’t see any implication that wasn’t just helping him.

“Yes, yes, of course. Can you… take that thing off your arm?”

“I can…” He tried. “…not. It’s a needle, I don’t know if I should… what if I bleed out?”

“We don’t want that... what do we do now?”

Gideon looked around. Too bad there weren’t any vases in that room; well, to be fair no one brought Nick flowers, but anyway…

In a last attempt before telling Nick to rip that needle off, he looked under his bed, and there he found this… _thing._

A bedpan.

He wasn’t sure of what it was, but it kind of resembled a toilet. A… portable toilet… made of steel…

But… how would he…? Should he put it on Nick’s chest and let him…?

“Uh, Nick?”

“Hm? Did you find another tube down there or something?”

“No, but… how flexible is your… you know?”

He was Gideon after all.

“My…?”

The baker pointed at his crotch; even if he knew what was under that gown, he was still shy.

“My dick?”

“Yes…”

“…why?”

“Because I found…” He raised his right arm, showing the utensil to Nick, who understood his question after seeing its shape. “…this.”

No, it’d be better to avoid it; his penile bone and its practicality would surely initiate them in watersports, and… well, it wasn’t the best time to do so.

In the end Nick resorted to the water bottle Gideon brought. It wasn’t classy, but it worked. In fact, this whole thing made him forget about whatever worried the pudgy fox; but again, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? Maybe Gideon was overreacting... but he wasn’t Nick, he… had a breakdown the previous day… but Nick also had one himself.

What could he expect?

After emptying the content of the bottle in the toilet, the baker kissed the officer’s forehead and left.

Any moment now his mom would come through that door and she’d be screaming, and she’d kiss him, and she’d hug him, and… who’s that guy? What’s another fox doing here? Why was he coming in?! He wasn’t a doctor, that was clear; doctors don’t wear dirty shirts and they sure don’t have dilated pupils during work time. Veronica walked in right behind him, wearing the same dress she was wearing the previous day… did she spend the night there too? Gideon told him she came with him, but-

“Hey, Nicky… how are you?” She… didn’t sound like herself. At least not like the Veronica he was expecting.

Something was off.

Her voice was low, she looked worried… but it was understandable, right? Her son had an accident, and if she spent the night there too, she was probably tired.

Though that didn’t explain who that older fox was.

“I’m fine, mom.” Nick was… curt. He couldn’t lay his eyes off the new vulpine… was he the reason why Gideon was on edge?

“Are you sure? Does something hurt?”

Didn’t she know about his condition?

“Ribs, but only when I breathe.” Again, his response was abrupt.

“Oh, thank god…” She muttered to herself, and then… she looked at that guy. One of her paws was on his shoulder.

Their eyes didn’t focus on one figure; they were shifting back and forth between Nick and each other, and that fox… was he afraid? Nervous? He was shaking almost as much as Gideon was the previous morning.

“Who are you?” Nick _needed_ to find out what was going on.

He had a hunch, but he hoped he was wrong.

Before replying, the fox looked at Veronica. She nodded and he took a step forward.

“You d-don’t… you don’t re-remember me, do you?”

Raspy, nasal voice; stutter, fast talk, difficulty articulating… Nick had heard his fair share of them in his life, and he was sure that guy had an awful junkie voice.

He wasn’t fond of judging people by their looks, but sometimes he made exceptions; especially if he was dealing with members of his own species that were too close to his mother.

“Should I?” By now the effects of the morphine were almost completely gone; his torso hurt, but he was more alert. His newfound nervousness made him act more impulsively; he was tired of the constant smell of plastic _‘Is this thing in my nose doing anything at all?’,_ so he ripped the cannula off.

Did that action intimidate the guy? He was looking down, fiddling with his tail… no, he wasn’t fiddling; he was pulling his fur out. And there was this noise… was he… grinding his teeth?

This situation was simply bizarre.

Now that he could, Nick took a long, steady breath, which didn’t really help him calm down. He could smell Gideon’s scent, his mom’s… and that fox’s.

It was strong.

His mom smelled of him.

He smelled of his mom.

But the worst part is that his scent was somewhat… familiar.

_No…_

The ragged fox didn’t answer him.

And Veronica… she… what was she even looking at?

_Everything was absurd!_

…

**_*click*_ **

…

“What the fuck is going on?! Who are you?!” Yelling stressed Nick’s lungs and diaphragm, reminding him why he was there and turning the dull pain in his ribcage into sharp stabs.

But at least he caught the others’ attention.

That guy jumped in place… he was looking at him now. No… his eyes… and the dark circles surrounding them… did he even know where he was?

Veronica was rubbing his back.

“Why won’t you answer-?!”

A new smell filled the room: bile.

The ragged fox put his paws over his muzzle so fast he practically slapped himself, and his pupils were… vibrating?

He knew what was wrong with him.

The older vulpine looked around the room frantically.

Nick figured what he was looking for, and he was sure that guy wouldn’t even realize if he vomited on his bed, so he offered some help the officer would consider unnecessary.

“Left.”

He tried to ignore the nauseating smells and noises coming from the room next to his bed, which was hard considering the bathroom door was open. But if it wasn’t because Gideon left the toilet lid up, the situation would be even worse…

Now Nick had a second to talk to his mother… or at least to someone who looked exactly like her.

“Why did you bring an addict to see me?” Fuck their relationship, fuck everything that happened the previous day, he wouldn’t beat around the bush anymore; Nick couldn’t think about any possible consequences, he just wanted an answer.

And, finally, Veronica provided. “He’s not an addict!”

Was she defending him? She looked angry; her expression went from blank to furious in an instant… but why?

“Mom, I know for a fact cold turkey is eating that guy. Who the hell is he?”

“He must tell you himself!”

She… have you ever witnessed a child throwing a tantrum, defending something their still undeveloped mind deems as the most relevant thing in the world? That’s what Nick was seeing. Veronica even crossed her arms in an exaggerated manner. The only thing missing was a pout.

**Her behavior wasn’t normal.**

_No, please, no…_

“You… you shot up…?”

The vixen’s expression changed drastically again.

She smirked.

Was she mocking Nick’s worried, disappointed, and terrified face?

He was sure she was when she started giggling.

Before he could say anything else, a voice called him.

“Nicky…”

_Nicky?_

The other fox was still there. He sounded and looked wiped out; the bathroom door was supporting his weight, but given he was slenderer than Nick, it wouldn’t break down.

His panting was barely audible over Veronica’s laughter.

“…I’m sorry…”

_No, no, no!_

“…for running you over.”

**_No._ **

He wasn’t apologizing. Nick didn’t feel like he was receiving any apology.

Nick didn’t feel anything at all.

That guy didn’t even look at him; he was staring at the floor and rubbing his snout with the back of his free paw.

No more words were exchanged.

What was there to say?

Nick saw him grabbing his mother’s paw and leaving.

Some time went by… twenty minutes? Maybe thirty?

…

And then Nick finally reacted.

The hunch he had… he was sure it was a reality.

He didn’t shout. He didn’t cry.

He realized.

Perhaps he didn’t want to accept it, perhaps he couldn’t… but it was the truth.

That man, the addict who was too close to his mother, the fox that admitted to having sent him to that hospital; that pathetic excuse for a breathing mammal… was the shadow of a man he once admired.

That fox was,

“Mr. Wilde?” The doctor called entering the room.

Charles Piberius Wilde II.

His father.

\---

‘I hope everything’s okay.’

Gideon was back in the hospital; after leaving Nick he visited again the store he bought snacks from the previous day. If Nick was going to stay bedridden, he’d need more water bottles.

Using the same again and again couldn’t be hygienic.

He didn’t like hospitals, but he’d sacrifice for Nick; not like he had any other choice anyway. The baker considered those halls were somehow haunting; life, death, the reasons why mammals visited it, the smell of plastic and the many chemicals used to clean the floors, the sounds… nothing was appealing. In fact, is there anyone who actually likes them? Well, if you work there and you like your job… but as a patient?

Though he hadn’t been a patient many times, he had visited a hospital fairly often. That’s were his grandma had spent her last months… he used to try to make her laugh. She knew what was coming, and she had always said that she didn’t want anyone to cry for her, but Gideon couldn’t always comply.

In front of her he’d try his hardest to lighten the mood: bad jokes, good memories, tasty recipes, forgotten promises… but then he was alone.

And after she passed away he was completely **alone**.

No, there was nothing he liked about hospitals.

‘It was room… three one… doctor.’

The bear that had been treating Nick was leaving his room.

He didn’t think twice.

“Hey, doctor…!”

Too loud; concern spoke for him.

“…err…”

And he didn’t remember his name.

“…Goldfish?”

“…Goldsby; Martin Goldsby.”

“Oh, sorry…”

…

“Can I help you?”

Oh, yeah; he wanted to know about Nick’s state. Embarrassment usually threw him for a loop, and this time was no exception, but he had no time to waste.

“Can you tell me how Nick is?”

The bear doubted; he remembered him, he was the fox that insisted on staying by the other’s side even during his radiography. Not that he could, you know, because of the radiation… the point is, he indeed could tell him, but what should he tell him?

“Well…” he started.

Dr. Goldsby took a quick look at the clipboard in his paw; it didn’t have any information he needed to share, but it helped him play for time.

He knew this man was worried about Nick. He said he was his… partner?

Oh, yeah; he was a police officer!

_‘Focus, Martin.’_

There was no point in lying.

“…he says he’s okay, but I wanted to have him a day or two in observation. Physically he looks okay, he even stood up by himself…” when he was practically threatening him because he wanted to leave. Eventually Nick won; if he said he was okay…

“but he was… nervous.”

“Nervous?”

 _“Nervous”_ was an understatement.

“Yes… it’s not usual; morphine should have kept him anesthetized for another couple of hours, at least.”

The bear’s deep tone didn’t change at any moment, but Gideon’s sixth sense perceived a hint of worry, and it seemed to be contagious. Though he was already infected.

“What does that mean? Is something wrong?”

“Not necessarily… maybe he metabolized it, I’m not sure; I don’t even know if that’s possible, but…”

“But?”

Now Gideon was getting “nervous” too.

His colleagues knew Martin Goldsby couldn’t give bad news; sometimes he got too involved, too attached to his patients, and even if he was good at his job, social interaction wasn’t his forte.

He sighed and put his free paw on the baker’s left shoulder.

“I think he needs someone to talk to…” Well, he was planning on doing that anyway. “…perhaps the accident affected him more than we thought.”

Before leaving, Nick didn’t look too affected, with the exception of the many faces he made when he told him how their lunch went…

…

_Family reunion._

_…_

Gideon entered Nick’s room in a flash.

Dr. Goldsby was left hanging.

‘God, Janet was right… I should go to those communication classes.’

…

Nick was… sitting on the edge of the bed he had spent more than half a day on, free of tubes, needles and wires, and focused on his phone, tapping the screen with his thumbs as he shook his right leg.

Yes, physically he looked alright.

His ears twitched when he perceived someone else was there.

Before Gideon could greet him, the fox in a hospital gown asked a question.

“Have you seen my mom?”

He was terse.

The baker could only imagine why.

“Ah, no… but I saw your doctor.”

And Gideon was apologetic.

Perhaps he should have told him himself.

“Did you know it?”

Again, Nick sounded sharp.

There was only one thing he could be referring to.

“…yes.”

“My mom told you?”

Gideon left the new plastic bag he brought next to the other one on the chair he had spent the night on.

Nick’s eyes didn’t leave his device at any moment, and Gideon’s couldn’t meet Nick… he felt bad.

He couldn’t be blamed for anything, he did nothing wrong; but he thought otherwise.

“After… after the accident… he got out of the car and your mom told me-“

“Gideon.”

Nick raised his voice. He didn’t want him to continue.

He didn’t want to know anything about that fox… about them, Veronica included.

The slender vulpine finally looked at him.

The plump one was looking out the window.

If he had looked at Nick he’d know he wasn’t angry with him, but the officer had no façade to show; anger, betrayal, sadness, concern, physical and emotional pain… that is what he was feeling, and he couldn’t hide it.

They really got to him.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Nick…”

Was he feeling sorry for him?

Was he apologizing for something?

It didn’t matter.

There was something more important to him; Judy had gone to work that day, and he was waiting for her to text him back. Gideon told her about what happened the previous afternoon; she said she’d go visit them after work.

But Nick needed her to do him a favor.

“It’s okay, Gid…

…

…could you please go get my medication? The doctor left the prescription next to my clothes.”

“…sure.”

They’d be going home as soon as Gideon came back.

Nick didn’t like hospitals either.

The baker found the officer already dressed when he went into his room again, still concentrated on his phone.

‘It survived too, huh?’

His attempt at starting a conversation wasn’t fruitful, and he did it out of guilt.

He only received an affirmative hum.

And silence reigned.

They didn’t talk.

Not when Nick checked out, not on the ride back home; even the taxi driver was uncomfortable…

But once they reached Nick’s apartment, the slender fox abandoned his phone; the battery was almost dead.

The painkillers they gave Nick were strong enough to make him feel sleepy. He shouldn’t take them just yet; he ought to wait a few hours because of the morphine.

But he didn’t worry about that.

He just couldn’t.

“I’m gonna take a nap.”

Gideon was thinking of doing the same; he barely slept two hours that night.

“I think I’ll take one too…”

The baker sat on the couch and unbuttoned his shirt, realizing he also needed a shower.

Nick took the first step towards his room when he discovered he was alone.

“What are you waiting for? Come on, Gid.” The officer called in a tired voice.

What? Wasn’t he mad at him? Why would he want to share his bed with him?

Maybe Gideon was a little too sensitive; maybe he made too many mountains out of molehills, but again, Nick had nothing against him. In fact, the slender fox _wanted_ him by his side.

Nick needed him the same way he needed Nick.

He was feeling like a fool; he had always believed his mother was free of sin, that she was a hard worker, that she sacrificed everything she had for him… but what he witnessed that morning arose many doubts.

Could he trust her at all?

Did she… how long had she been talking to him?

How long had she been shootin-?

Why?

_Why?!_

**_Why didn’t she tell him?!_ **

**_Why didn’t_** _**HE**_?!

Where had he been?

**_WHY WASN’T HE THERE WHEN NICK NEEDED HIM?!_ **

**_WAS HE OUT THERE SHOOTING UP IN A CORNER?!_ **

**_DID HE WORRY ABOUT HIM IN VAIN?!_ **

**_DID THAT GUY CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL?!_ **

**_NICK WAS HIS SON, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM!_ **

**_HE…_ **

**_He…_ **

**_…_ **

Why is this happening?

He just wanted to have a normal week with Gideon; visit tourist traps, take pictures, buy souvenirs…

But now that fox, Gideon Grey, someone he met three days ago was the most precious mammal in his life.

_None of this was normal._

Fortunately for him, Gideon understood him; or at least he liked to think he did.

_He really did._

He understood why Nick acted that way.

He understood when Nick started crying.

He understood when Nick desperately embraced him, ignoring the pain in his chest.

He understood when Nick whispered “please… Gideon, please… tell me you aren’t like them… please, tell me you’re not lying… please...”

Maybe karma was taking its toll; maybe it’s what he deserved for living a life based on lies.

But Gideon didn’t care about that. He said he’d be there for Nick.

He had been where Nick was at the moment.

**He understood.**

“I said I wouldn’t lie to you.

I’m here for you, Nick.”

After the tears came the sleep.

…

They’d have to change the bed sheets; the bottom one was stained, and now the pillowcase was damp.

\---

Hours go by quickly when you’re unconscious.

They woke up four, maybe five hours later.

They didn’t talk; they didn’t need to, and there was nothing worth saying.

Nick didn’t want to talk; Gideon wouldn’t force him to do so.

And as the officer and his work partner agreed, Judy paid them a visit that afternoon.

“Oh, hey Jude!”

“Gideon, hi; is Nick…?”

“Sure, come on in; he’s doin’ somethin’ on his laptop.”

She obliged.

Once inside the apartment she found the slender fox sitting at the kitchen table, tiredly staring at a screen that didn’t give him any of the results he wanted. Next to the computer was Nick’s phone, a glass of water and a small, orange bottle…

“Nick, how are you?”

The addressed mammal offered a side-glance as greeting.

“Fine.”

Well… he was concise. Judy wasn’t expecting a response like that; a joke, sure, but a monosyllable in the gravest tone she’d heard coming from him? Though there was something to the texts he sent her, he almost seemed desperate to…

Oh, yeah; that’s why she was there, after all.

“I brought you some blueberry muffins; my mom used to make soup when someone was sick, but-“

She quieted when Nick turned to look at her; she knew him, right? She thought he could cheer him up, she had been there some other times when he got hurt… but this time was different.

He wasn’t smirking; he didn’t look like he wanted to hear anything she had to say…

So bad was it? He said he was okay, right? Nothing was broken; he was practically uninjured, wasn’t he?

At least that’s what he told her.

What she didn’t know is that she accidentally touched an extremely delicate nerve.

“You brought what I asked you for?”

“Yeah…” Nick’s humor was contagious, sure; but sometimes he wasn’t so snarky. He tried to hide whatever he really felt from her many times, but not now.

What was the point?

She handed him a brown folder she carried in the same bag she brought the muffins in. It smelled good.

Though she knew its contents were far from its acquired scent.

** Charles (“Charlie”, “Dick”) P. Wilde **

“Judy,” Gideon called. He… seemed unaffected. Didn’t he care about what Nick was going through?

No, of course he cared, but he couldn’t share his mood; he had a new duty: he had to be strong for him.

“want somethin’ to drin-“

The moment Nick opened that folder, his phone rang.

A word appeared on the screen: mom.

Perfect timing.

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

**Date of birth:** **XX-XX-XXXX**

Nick both wanted and didn’t want to answer.

But if he didn’t, she’d keep insisting…

** SS#: XXX-XX-XXX **

It’d be better to get it over with.

** Last known address: 412 Boneclaw Av (Nocturnal Haven District) **

“…Nick? Nicky? Are you there?”

“Yeah.”

“…how are yo-?”

“What do you want?”

** Gender: male **

** Species: red fox **

** Eyes: green **

“I… I wanted to know how…”

“No. No, you don’t want that.”

**~~ Fur: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX ~~ **

** Height: 3’ 7” (4’ 1” W/Raised ears) **

** Weight: N/A **

“Nick, please, listen-“

“How long?”

“…what?”

** Status: missing **

“How long, mom?”

** XXXXXXX: N/A **

** XXXX: N/A **

** XXXXX: N/A **

** XXXXXXX: XXXXXXXXX **

“Nick, you know that fox-“

**“ _HOW LONG_?!”**

…

“We… we kept in touch… I didn’t tell you anything because… you were little, I didn’t know how you’d react. And then… when you left… I invited him over once. I… I still loved him, and I was alone… and… I needed to see him…”

“…and you still do.”

** Offense: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

** XXXXXX drug possession and trafficking XXXXXX **

** XXXXXXXXX assault with violence XXXXXXXXXXXX **

** XXXX resisting authorities XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX theft XXXXXXXXXXXX **

** XXXXX fraud XXXXXXXXXX false personation XXXX **

** Obstruction of justice XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

_‘He was a taylor…’_

“Nick, listen-“

“Now you’re sober, and you’re feeling guilty.”

“Nick!”

“It’s been… almost twenty years…”

“I know and… and I’m sorry, Nick; you don’t know how much. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry you had to find out this way, I’m sorry I… I shot-“

“Mom.

** Last sighting: 110 Birdcage St. (Nocturnal Haven District) (2003) **

…

I have to go…”

“Nick… Nicky, please! I don’t know what to do! I don’t… I don’t want to lose you again, not over this; not over anything! Please, please…! I… come over, we can talk about this! Or I can go to your place… Nick, listen to me, please!”

“No… I’m sorry…”

And like that, their conversation ended.

Nick lied; he wasn’t sorry.

He was tired.

…

“Judy,”

The addressed mammal, unsure of what she and Gideon had just witnessed, was already paying attention to him.

Was she supposed to say something? To do something?

She… she wasn’t scared. No, no she wasn’t; her friend didn’t scare her, his shout surprised her, but she didn’t fear Nick… no, she had no reason to…

“thank you.” He tapped twice on the open folder in front of him.

No. She had no reason to fear him.

“Oh… you… you’re welcome.”

…

“Judy.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t go to work tomorrow.”

“…what? Why?”

“I need you.”

“What for…?”

The fox sighed, lifting his head to meet her unsure eyes, which could then see the two dark trails under his own.

“Do you have a spare gun?”

Gideon and Judy wanted to think he mispronounced that.

That he meant something else.

That he wasn’t serious.

 

But he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about medicine.


	8. Friday  //

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daddy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really fun! Really, really fun!
> 
> BTW, do you get triggered if you read the word "faggot"? And "redneck"?
> 
> Okay, you're good to go. Enjoy!

The world hated him.

He hated the world too.

What did he love?

Did he love anything at all?

Anyone?

Gideon…

And Judy…

Clawhauser, Bogo, Finnick…

…

Nick had a lot to think about, but before he had to explain Gideon and Judy what he was planning, which wasn’t easy.

_“I just need to talk to him; I swear I won’t do anything stupid.”_

_“If you’re just going there to talk to him why do you need a gun?”_

_“Safety. Do you know what that place is like?”_

_“Do you?”_

She got him there; he had never really been to the badlands, or as it was really called, the Nocturnal Haven district. Well, actually, he had; in fact, he was born there, but he only spent his two first months of life there.

Obviously he had no memory of that.

_‘Fancy name for a shithole full of crooks.’_

But he had heard enough, so he had an idea of how it was.

_“Yes; there’s people who wouldn’t doubt to shoot you if you-“_

_“No, Nick; listen to me for a moment. I know how you feel-“_

The fox sneered at that. There was no humor behind his dry snigger.

_“No you don’t.”_

The officers had never argued like that ever before; friendly grapples when they were deciding on who had to fill which report, or maybe some banter with no ill will behind it, sure, but they never had a real argument.

Not since he joined the ZPD.

Not until that moment.

_“I… okay, maybe I don’t; but I know it’s affecting you, and you’re not thinking straight-”_

_“You have one or not?!”_

_“No! I only have mine at home…but even if I had one (…)”_

_(…)_

It seemed pointless.

He wasn’t being cunning; for once he told them what his real intention was, and those words were less convincing than the usual, sugar-coated ones.

Judy could see his desperation, and even if she didn’t fear him, she feared what he could do.

Could she stop him?

_“Fine,”_

Nick gave up.

_“I’ll go there by myself.”_

No.

That’s what she really feared.

_“You don’t… you don’t have to do that, Nick. I can take you…”_

_(…)_

In the end, the results were mostly favorable for the fox; Judy would take him to the last known place his father was seen, and she would be carrying her weapon.

He could work with that.

Nick wouldn’t say he was happy; none of this made him happy, but he had the chance to bury one of the skeletons in his closet. The only one who turned out to be alive.

Now he had to prove if his shovel was resistant enough to do so.

Was it some kind of revenge? Did he want to hurt his father?

No… he’d probably enjoy doing so, but there was only one thing he wanted from him; an answer.

**_Why?_ **

His plan wasn’t really complex, if you could call that a plan; he’d just go there, he’d avoid the locals, and he’d-

_“When are we leaving?”_

Gideon.

He left Gideon out of this.

_“You’re not coming.”_

He didn’t ignore him, but Nick didn’t want him to get any more involved.

_“Yes, I am.”_

But Gideon knew Nick needed him.

_“Gideon, no... it's a dangerous place...”_

_“Gid, listen to him; we’re cops, we are… more prepared to face-“_

_“I don't care.”_

No accent; his brain was too focused on the current situation.

But so was Judy’s.

Gideon was determined.

It only took him looking into Nick’s eyes to make him understand; he wouldn’t desist, **_he’d go_**.

He could take care of himself. He didn’t need someone to protect him at all times.

He wasn’t weak.

He was exactly the strength that Nick needed.

He would be there if things went downhill.

He’d support him if he had to; he’d stop him if he had to.

And, in a way, he wanted to do it for himself; when he was little he had to deal with a father that never was there for him, that never cared for him, that never doubted when it came to hurt him.

**_He_** was more prepared to face another one.

_“No, Gideon, we-“_

Nick really **_needed_** him.

_“Fine. But you’re staying in the car.”_

_“Wha-?!”_

And even if Judy didn’t like that idea.

_“We’re doing it tonight.”_

She didn’t have a say.

\---

4:37 A.M.

Nick paid for the gas.

A light rain started falling as soon as the three mammals got in Judy’s pickup truck.

Gideon had to accommodate Nick on his lap; he was still injured, after all, and the vehicle wasn’t exactly spacious.

They left at 3:22, and according to Judy’s phone’s GPS now they were 4 miles away from their destination.

The trip was mostly silent.

Nick spent it looking at the rain, Gideon petting his tail, and Judy driving and arguing with the directions she was given. Not even satellites were sure of where that district was.

After around 50 minutes driving, the road changed drastically; it was bumpy, some bits weren’t even asphalted, and no signs were visible. Most of them were painted black, and the rest were nothing but metallic poles.

They were getting closer.

When Gideon felt the potholes on the road he tried to secure Nick with his own arms, but the slender fox muttered he was fine.

Or at least he couldn’t feel any pain: the three of them could hear the bottle of pills in his hoodie’s pocket when they ran over the raw land that welcomed them to the badlands.

Nick made everyone wear dark, baggy clothes; if they were going to a place full of foxes who liked getting in trouble it’d be better to pass unnoticed. Probably they could smell them, but luckily the rain would make that harder.

Besides, he and Judy were on the news not so long ago; even if the mammals there lived almost literally in their own world, surely at least one of them knew that one of their kin was now a cop.

And you can bet they wouldn’t like it.

Who could tell what was going through their minds?

Judy was probably worried about whatever could happen there. She didn’t want to go, she thought that all this was a bad idea; but she couldn’t say no to Nick.

Nick was looking out the window; psyching up, maybe thinking about what he’d say if he found Charles… or just observing the drops that died against the glass.

And Gideon… his face was impossible to read; he had the same peaceful expression he showed when he met Veronica, which was a long way from the serious and almost sleepy ones his peers had on.

A feminine voice came from Judy’s phone, “You have arrived at your destination.”, and she parked next to the white line that represented the pavement that was supposed to be there.

110 Birdcage St.

The scenery around them was depressing; deserted streets, buildings in ruins, rusty streetlights lying on the ground…

Even if they weren’t easy to spot, there were mammals on those streets; mammals hidden in alleyways, mammals covered in several layers of clothing surrounding makeshift fires that fought to stay lit under the rain, mammals whose eyes would make them understand they weren’t welcomed there.

But they already knew that.

All of those mammals were vulpines: red foxes, arctic foxes, fennecs, corsacs… some of them could be heard in the distance. Yells, howls… no words were discernible.

This was especially unsettling for the pickup’s occupant with a better sense of hearing; probably the only one who didn’t belong to the family of canidae in five or ten miles around.

And when she stopped the engine, darkness.

Nothing but darkness.

The clouds blocked the moonlight.

The rain wasn’t so light anymore.

A perfect place for nocturnal creatures.

Judy wasn’t feeling safe, and even if her body language didn’t give it away, her adrenaline did. She’d have to thank the rain for concealing her scent; if it wasn’t for it, any outsider fox would be able to smell her.

Though she was the outsider there.

“God… this place is- Nick!” Judy couldn’t finish her sentence when she heard the door handle on the passenger side clicking. Her paws left the steering wheel and accidentally found Gideon’s knee; she couldn’t see anything.

“Are you gonna lend me your gun now?”

“I… I can’t do that.”

Nick thought otherwise, but he wouldn’t insist. He opened the door completely, allowing cold drops to meet his exposed fur as he carelessly pulled his hood over his head, forcing his ears to hide under black cotton.

“Nick, wait.”

He obliged.

What could she say now? None of her arguments could convince him to stop… she didn’t want to be there; she didn’t want any of them to be there.

But she wasn’t the protagonist this time.

“Please… be careful…”

That’s all she was able to mutter.

No other words came to her mind.

“Don’t worry about me.”

Nick sounded convinced of his words. Maybe he was hiding his true feelings, maybe he was just as scared as her, maybe he decided to ignore the danger… or maybe he wasn’t able to feel fear; that wasn’t the emotion that drove him to go to that place.

“You’re not wearing your Kevlar this time!” But his words didn’t convince her. “We can still call the station, tell them to send-“

She didn’t think about it, but raising her voice wasn’t a good idea.

Before Nick had the chance to unceremoniously tell her to be quiet, the one that felt him growling decided to intervene.

“Enough.”

Gideon.

“Jude, hush; Nick, out.”

The other two mammals were surprised by his words; he didn’t sound angry or altered at all, his voice was almost… paternal, as if he tried to make two children stop arguing.

Both of them obeyed.

Judy was defeated.

Nick slid off his lap and set his feet on the cold, wet ground; but when he tried to close the door, a force impeded it.

Gideon was pushing it.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

The plump fox had that look in his eyes again, and just like Judy knew she couldn’t do anything to stop him, Nick knew he couldn’t make his partner change his mind. Gideon didn’t answer him; instead he pushed the door again, successfully opening it.

“Gid…” Judy could hear him exiting the vehicle too.

“We’ll be fine.” Was all he said.

He was absolutely conscious of his actions; he didn’t have a death wish, but this is what Nick wanted to do, and he said he’d be there for him.

He imitated the other vulpine and pulled his hood over his already wet head.

And now what?

“There’s someone behind us, on the other side of the street.”

Nick turned around, and yes, a figure was leaning against that building’s door. If his eyes weren’t lying, they were observing them; it wasn’t easy to tell since their attire was similar to theirs, but he believed he saw two brown irises under dark fabric.

Whoever that mammal was, was standing in front the last place his father was seen… fourteen years ago.

But he wouldn’t lose anything just by asking.

Nick walked towards the figure, and Gideon followed him; it was shorter than them, so if it came down to a physical confrontation they could surely beat them.

That’s what the officer thought.

“Hey, you!”

He decided he’d treat them the same way he was treated most of his life; that’s the right way to deal with foxes, right?

Aren’t they scum, after all?

He was sure they were.

The figure didn’t move; they just waited until the two foxes were standing before them.

“What do you want?”

The figure wasn’t only shorter than them; he clearly was younger too, though he didn’t sound fazed at all.

But they weren’t there to question what a teenage boy was doing outside at that hour.

“Charles Wilde, where is he?”

Nick didn’t want to waste any time; at that point he could barely contain his aggressiveness.

“Who?”

The boy had a bored expression, and eye contact didn’t seem to scare him. But if you take into account that he was a local, you could surely understand why.

“Charles, Charlie, Dick, whatever you call him, where is he?!”

Keeping his paws to himself wasn’t easy for Nick; he had to struggle to avoid tearing that fucking kit off.

“You mean papa Charlie? What you wanna see ‘im for?”

The officer’s pupils turned into two black dots swimming in a sea of green, and Gideon decided to take it from there after seen his tail stiffening.

But at least now they knew he was there.

Nick’s jaw was trembling; he was fighting to maintain his fangs behind his lips.

It’d be easy to kill him; the boy had his paws in his pockets, a quick bite to his neck and it’d be over. He knew how to do that. That little shit wasn’t taller than Judy; this time he just didn’t have to stop once his teeth touched skin. Crush his trachea so he would asphyxiate, or rip his jugular out and wait until he bled out; or even better, crunch everything in his way and-

“We have to talk to him.”

Gideon.

Gideon was there.

“About what?”

“Business.”

And he… wasn’t… he acted so… natural.

Why? How? Wasn’t he afraid? Wasn’t he supposed to be a bundle of nerves?

Usually the answer would be yes, but now he had to be the rock Nick could support his weight on, even if his heart was beating faster than his partner’s; after all, it’s easier to carry a boulder on four shoulders instead of two. And again, he was doing this for himself too; he spent years thinking about what he’d say to his father if he ever saw him again, but that moment would never come.

It was a thorn in his flesh he could never remove, and now that he was mentally prepared, he’d lend the strength he had built up to someone who needed it.

Nick.

Gideon’s voice soothed him; it helped him remember where he was and why he was there. It was his grip on reality.

It also seemed to convince the younger fox, who turned around and pulled a key out of his pocket.

“You’re not from here, are you?” He didn’t wait for their reply. The door didn’t creak; in fact, it didn’t look too old, and the only sounds it made when the boy opened it came from the heavy locks the key moved. Maybe they were worried about safety too... “Papa told me he was waiting for new deliverers, but I thought you’d come later.”

Deliverers? Did he mean delivery mammals? Wait, was someone else coming?

No, that’s not important; what’s important is that they found him. They were entering the same building Charles Wilde was in.

How did that happen? Was it luck? Or was it misfortune?

Who cared?

“Upstairs.” Was the last thing the younger fox said before disappearing behind the door.

Before their eyes was a long corridor with many closed doors at its sides, and it was completely silent, well lit, and clean, and… new; pristine. It resembled the hallways of the hospital they were in the previous morning, but with no windows, and hopefully with no patients.

The difference between the outside and the inside of that building was immense; it wasn’t the crack house it seemed to be, it was disconcerting, and even shadier.

There, to their right, they found stairs; stairs that went up.

That was the way to follow, wasn’t it?

The foxes’ gazes met one last time before continuing; Nick nodded, reassuring Gideon that this is what he went there to do. He wouldn’t back down, and if he didn’t, the baker wouldn’t either.

They didn’t break the silence; not even themselves could hear their feet meeting the cement steps.

But Nick couldn’t hear his thoughts.

Was he thinking at all?

He didn’t know.

**Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump…**

That’s all he could hear; his own heart.

Would it ask the questions he wanted to ask? Would it get the answers he needed?

His heart brought him there, and it was too late to think if following it was a mistake.

A metal door.

That’s what they found.

Was **_he_** in there?

Only one way to find out.

Behind it a new corridor appeared, but this was different from the one downstairs; it wasn’t as long, or as hygienic. Their night vision was something that came in really handy.

Cigarette butts and ashes adorned the stained floor, and it was impossible to tell what caused those stains: different colors, sizes… though at least none of them was recent, which was for the best, they were sure.

The least sickening fluid that came to mind was blood; only their imagination could name the rest.

As they kept advancing, the walls at their sides seemed to narrow; in reality the space between them didn’t change a bit, yet what covered them gave that illusion.

At first they thought those were graffiti, but no, the originally white paint served as a canvas for something else; schematics. Precise, black and blue lines described… something.

That orthography was unreadable for Nick and Gideon, but given the place they were in, it surely was something questionable.

At some point they could hear a sound, music; slow blues at low volume. Its source was at the end of the hall… they could only guess that Charles was there.

The stench wasn’t easy to ignore; it was aggressive, sharp, as if it tried to hurt their nostrils, throat, and lungs. Its base was smoke, and the rest… musk, gasoline, rust, urine…

Was that what made Nick’s ribs hurt more, or was it something else?

In any case, hiding their snouts in their sweatshirts would be a good idea.

When they reached the end of the hallway, a new door appeared to their left; this one was open. Blues music played-

“Nicky! Come on in!”

There he was, Charles Wilde, sitting in an armchair in the middle of a small room only lit by a light bulb that hung from the ceiling, looking at the smartphone between his paws.

At least it was cleaner than the corridor.

Both vulpines obliged; around them were many metal tables, and on all of them were several fabrics and sewing machines. No one could-

“You took your time, huh? Don’t tell me you brought your little boyfriend too!”

He.

He wasn’t surprised at all; he knew they were coming.

He didn’t look like he did the previous morning, he didn’t sound like he did the previous morning; if they looked around they’d surely find empty syringes, burnt spoons, cotton balls and an overused rubber band.

This time the shirt he was wearing wasn’t dirty, and neither was he. What, was he on his way to get more of whatever shit he was addicted to when he hit-

“Get that thing off your face, boy; you’re at home!”

He was referring to his hood.

Nick unconsciously obeyed.

Gideon didn’t.

“Petey told me two guys came to talk business, but I don’t think an officer of the law has any business to do here, does he?”

He was infuriating.

Every word that left his muzzle, the way he pronounced them… his voice wasn’t nasal or raspy anymore, he had no problem articulating, and he was so… smug.

His eyes never left the screen of his phone.

If Gideon had to describe him… he’d say he was a twisted and deformed version of Nick; their bodies were similar, their voices were similar, even their eyes… the same shade of green. If it wasn’t because Charles fur was discolored due to his age, many mammals could get them confused.

He wouldn’t, but it was something he didn’t like to see.

And Nick… Nick? Nick?!

He was disoriented.

The strength he thought he had vanished the moment his father pronounced his name. He couldn’t focus; his mind was as blank as his face, and his body didn’t belong to him anymore. It’d only respond to certain stimuli.

His rage. His hatred. His emotions.

Gone.

But he wasn’t there alone.

“Petey? You mean the kid at the door?”

Grave tone, serious look on his face, nerves on edge.

Gideon, ignoring what he and Judy said, accompanied him.

“He’s like the son that I never… no, like the son I wanted to have.”

Nick teased; Charles outright attacked.

“You… son of a…”

And again, at the moment, Gideon was Nick’s only grip on reality.

Hearing him took him back to the real world.

He knew why he was where he was, he knew who that fox was, and he knew what he wanted from him.

“You son of a bitch!”

Nick’s yell made the older fox finally lift his head.

His features were similar to his son’s, but the smirk on his face was nothing like the one Nick usually showed; Charles’s denoted superiority, as if he was silently laughing at everything and everyone around him.

_“Infuriating”_ was an understatement.

“Nicky… you look good.”

The music stopped.

\---

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought… you were dead…”

“You’ll have to speak louder Nicky-“

“I thought… that you got in trouble… and they kidnapped you…”

“Have you heard of your dad’s business? Are you here to buy something?”

“I’ve spent my entire life… believing you were someone different,”

“I may have something for you. What’s your waist size?”

“hating my own species because I thought… I thought they did it.”

“Ten? Eleven, perhaps?”

“But… you did it to yourself, didn’t you?”

“Speak up, champ! I can’t-“

“ ** _Why?!_**

**_WHY?!_ **

Why were you there?!

Why are you here?!

Why…

**_WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE?!_** ”

Everything he wanted to ask, Nick asked at once.

Charles’s constant taunting wasn’t helping.

The officer couldn’t contain his emotions anymore; he wasn’t being taken seriously, now he knew how mammals felt when he did the same.

It didn’t feel good.

“Nicky, you’re not making any sense! What do you-?”

“Don’t you fucking call me Nicky! You don’t have the right!”

“Well, I dissen-“

“ ** _ANSWER ME_!** ”

If there was someone else in the building, they surely heard Nick.

Charles Wilde wasn’t used to feel fear, but his own son, eliciting such feeling…

He wouldn’t admit it, though.

His brazen grin never faltered.

“I don’t want to.”

Nick didn’t need Judy’s gun.

He had fangs, and he had claws.

If he couldn’t get those answers by himself...

He followed his heart and it took him there; what difference would it make if he followed it one last time? Only a few feet separated him from Charles.

He wouldn’t even know.

That armchair could be his deathbed.

The moment he took his first step towards his father, Nick felt a paw on his shoulder.

Gideon.

“Charles, do ya hate yer son?”

What?

Why was his accent back?

What kind of question was that?

It caught both Wildes off guard.

But his apparent serenity and his touch helped Nick calm down and unsettled Charles.

He had heard enough of his son from Veronica, but this other fox…

“…no.”

_‘Fucking liar!’_

“Then why did ya abandon ‘im?”

“Abandon?

…

I had more important things to do.”

“More important than takin’ care of yer own son?”

“Let me rephrase that; there were things I actually wanted to do.”

_‘Why am I answering this fat fuck?’_

“Ah see… ya wan’ed to be an addic-”

“I’m a tailor!”

Nerve touched.

Charles wasn’t like the lowlifes that used his gear; no, of course not.

He was better. Even if he consumed the same substances; even if he worked for them.

“Ya left ‘cause ya wan’ed to be a tailor then?”

Nick was stupefied, but he had found certain calmness in Gideon. His speech pattern, the way he was asking those questions, completely opposite to Charles’s smugness… everything. It wasn’t just a conversation.

Where was this coming from? How? What was he even doing?

How did he get him to talk?

Was Gideon okay?

Yes, yes he was; but in his mind, he wasn’t talking to Charles.

His voice, his behavior… weren’t directed to Nick’s father; not solely.

The older fox’s smirk disappeared for a moment only to reappear followed by a dry guffaw.

He thought the baker was interesting to say the least.

“You wouldn’t understand, kid.”

“Try me.”

Charles never rejected a challenge; an ego like his usually shoots its owner in the face sooner in life, but he believed he was born under a lucky star.

If he could sneak kilos and kilos of heroin in the downtown district for over twenty years without been caught, he could get rid of this brat with a psychologist complex with only a few words.

He was good with those.

“I had dreams just like you, Nicky!”

Veronica told him what Nick’s dream was, and he had to struggle to contain his laughter.

_‘Prey fears us predators for a reason.’_

“But mine were already a reality when you were born; I didn’t want to waste my life feeding and changing the diapers of an accident.”

He didn’t know Gideon, but he was sure he could break Nick.

Only he knew what he would accomplish doing so.

The baker’s paw never abandoned the slender fox’s shoulder, and after hearing that sentence, he squeezed it affectionately, drawing circles with his thumb on black cotton.

“Nick, we have one more thing in common! Ah was an acciden’ too!”

_‘…what?’_

_‘What?!’_

Gideon was smiling.

“Ah’m guessin’ ya feared responsibility? Not everyone’s ready to face ta consequen-“

“I had a business to run, you dumb shit!”

Charles snapped.

What Gideon just did wasn’t allowed; **_who did that fox think he was?_**

“This doesn’t look like a very successful business; everythin’ smell like piss.”

**_Was that fucking redneck mocking him?!_ **

“I make more money than you could ever- why is a fucking faggot questioning me?!”

“Don’ tell me ya don’ like me? I came all the way here to ask for yer blessin’.”

Some consider banter to be an art; Nick Wilde was known for being nothing less than a master at it.

His father too used to be able to make his way through life using nothing but words.

And Gideon had shown he had it in him too, if his talk with Veronica when he met her was any indication.

Perhaps it was a fox thing.

**“Enough! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”**

But the thing is heroin addicts are known for, among other things, their mood changes.

“Mah name is Gideon Grey.”

His paw left Nick’s shoulder when he took a step towards Charles pulling his hood back, letting the older fox see his face.

“Mah dad used a hanger to try t’abort me when mah mom was six months pregnant.”

Charles turned this meeting into a battle of minds.

“Mah mom didn’ try ta stop ‘im when he busted mah head open against ta kitchen sink.”

And he lost, because Gideon knew how the older fox’s worked; because once, when he was younger, he thought the same.

But he wasn’t better than anyone.

“Ah almost died when Ah was twelve.”

One last step forward.

“And Ah’m Nick’s boyfriend. Nice to meet ya.”

Now Gideon was the one smirking; his eyes were wet because, after all, turning his weaknesses into strength was painful, but it was worth it.

Because of that his accent was back, because of that his blood was running through his veins at an unhealthy speed, because of that he was able to do what he was doing.

Because of that he could confront this situation.

Charles, on the other side, was baring his fangs and growling. There wasn’t much humanity left in him.

When the baker extended his arm to shake his paw, the older fox didn’t hesitate; he jumped from his seat and punched Gideon in the muzzle. No one made fun of him, no one had the right to believe they were better than him; and even less **_the retarded faggot that sucked his son’s dick!_**

_He was an accident, after all; of course he wouldn’t be normal._

_He even needs his boyfriend to defend him…_

_If Vero had listened to me… but no, she said she was in love with me; she wanted to keep him, he was the “fruit of our love”._

_I couldn’t say no, not to her; I still can’t._

_But if we foxes are supposed to be smart creatures, then why… **why am I surrounded by retards who couldn’t find their own tail using a map?**_

**_None of these idiots ever understood me… but I guess it worked out for the best._ **

Gideon barely staggered; 40 years on a diet that fundamentally consisted of heroin don’t build much strength. He started giggling.

His giggles soon turned into a cheerful laughter that drove Charles to scream and try again, but this time Gideon’s paw grabbed his wrist before he could reach him.

For Nick.

For himself.

“Mah dad hit harder,” he lifted his right fist over the older fox’s face “somethin’ like this.”

**_Crack._ **

**_Thump._ **

Now that was liberating!

Gideon was far stronger than Charles.

The older Wilde didn’t say anything. He didn’t move after falling.

He was lying on the ground, on his right side, looking at Nick’s face behind Gideon.

A serious face that came closer to his.

Nick had the answer he wanted; his father considered that doing whatever he was doing there was more important than him. He was a coward who didn’t want to face responsibility; the consequences of his acts.

He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t sad; not anymore.

He was disappointed.

When he was little he thought that his dad was some kind of hero and that’s why the “bad foxes” abducted him.

But he was wrong; Charles was only a hero to those same bad foxes, and to hundreds of addicts living in Zootopia.

And even if discovering that didn’t really solve anything, Nick felt that a weight had been lifted.

He finally knew the truth; his own father was one of the many reasons why his species was hated in Zootopia.

He was a mess, just like Nick once was…

He wouldn’t blame him for that, he had done many questionable things too… but he wasn’t him.

He’d never be him.

He didn’t need him.

He never did.

**_But…_ **

“I don’t know why our ways crossed, but I’m glad we met.” Nick whispered squatting in front of his father. “I just hope…”

The older fox’s pupils were barely visible, but they weren’t aiming at him. His son’s words were like a quiet hum under his own breath; to him his low pants were like waves crashing against his eardrums.

**_…after all, he was his dad and…_ **

Nick caressed his broken muzzle and right cheek, feeling withered fur against his paw pads and accidentally staining them with the blood that came out of his nose. “…we never meet again.”

Nick stood up, looking at Gideon for a moment and finding the reassurance he needed in him. His eyes went back to the older vulpine with an unfocused gaze.

**_…he pitied him._ **

“Enjoy your life, but please, if you ever loved mom and me, even a little…

…

**_leave us alone_**.”

Charles didn’t reply.

His brain was somewhere else.

He’d need another dose soon.

Who knows if he’d even remember what happened.

**_Unlike his son, he’d never admit he could make mistakes too._ **

…

“Gideon… let’s go.”

“Yeah.”

\---

The walk back to the car was silent, but this time the silence had a different reason to be.

The younger fox at the door said something when they left the building; they didn’t hear him.

The rain didn’t entirely stop, but compared to when they went in, the weather was fantastic,

The first rays of sunshine made themselves visible through the grey clouds.

And at last Judy was able to see again, just in time to discern Gideon and Nick coming from her right; she wasted no time in opening the passenger door for them.

“Finally! Are you guys okay? Did something happen to you in there? I think I saw you talking to that guy at the door and then going in and I’ve been texting you since-“

“Carrots,”

Her bunny heart was beating as fast as theirs; saying she was worried would be falling short. Ten minutes after they left, her gun was in her paws; every little noise she heard distressed her even more, and when she was holding it, she thought that maybe it should be in Nick’s hands…

“we’re okay.”

He was serious, just like when they left, but at least he didn’t call her Judy. Hearing her actual name coming from him didn’t sound natural.

The foxes sat in the same position they were in before leaving the vehicle, Nick on top of Gideon.

The rabbit put her weapon away before letting out a long sigh of relief and starting the engine, and when she turned to ask them if they were ready to leave, Nick was facing the other fox and kissing him in a way she had only seen before in super cheesy romantic movies… but then it got more intense.

She could see their tongues and hear this “agh, agh!” under their breath…

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not in my car!”

The vulpines stopped out of respect, but if it were for them they’d have kept going on… and on, and on…

A grinning Nick rested his head on the baker’s left shoulder and muttered “sorry”.

But he whispered something else in Gideon’s ear.

_“Thank you.”_

And

_“You and I have to talk.”_

Judy could hear that too.

The fox officer pulled away a little, just enough to be able to roll the window on their side down.

“What even hap-“

“MY NAME IS NICK WILDE AND I’M IN LOVE WITH GIDEON GREY!” A euphoric Nick shouted to everyone and no one in particular.

His voice reverberated in the forlorn street; _satisfactory._

The addressed fox wanted to reprimand him, but he couldn’t; it was undeniable he loved him too.

He wouldn’t have done what he did if he didn’t.

Gideon grabbed him by his hips and pulled him close again, careful not to touch his injured area or hurt him any further. “You silly fox…”

“Okay, what the hell happened in there?!”

Their emotions changed quite a bit in the last hour.

“Did you know Gid here is a hero?”

“Nick, please…”

“No, it’s the truth.”

Nick was smiling, Gideon was smiling, and Judy… she didn’t understand a thing, but if they were happy, she was too.

“Okay, okay; can we leave now?”

“Yeah… we’re not coming back. Ever.”

The ride back wasn’t as quiet; the foxes tried to explain the rabbit what happened in that… warehouse?, but they kept interrupting each other; Nick couldn’t stop saying how great Gideon was, and the baker tried to downplay the importance of his role.

Though, of course, there were certain things they kept to themselves.

…

“We need a break.”

“Like a vacation?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Aren’t you two on vacation already?”

“We… haven’t rested much, Carrots.”

…

“What about Pawaii?”

“Pawaii?”

“Yeah; you said you wanted to go after we- …yeah, Pawaii.”

“…you know what? Yes. Yes! Let’s go to Pawaii!”

“You’re coming too, right Carrots?”

“I’ll pass, thank you.”

“Come on, you need a break too.”

“I’ll spend the weekend sleeping.”

“Don’t you want to sleep on the beach…?”

“Nick.”

“I’ll pay for everyth-“

“Nick!”

“Fine.”

…

“Hey, Judy… thank you.”

“…that’s what friends are for.”

“I’ll compensate you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t care; I want to.”

“I only drove-“

“I. Want. To.”

…

Judy dropped them off at Nick’s apartment. He offered her to stay; it was obvious she was tired, she had been awake for over twenty four hours, but she declined.

The rabbit said she’d go to work.

“I’m still stuck with Gibson… I think I can take a nap in the locker room.”

Kind of.

But as soon as the foxes entered the Wilde residence, the proprietor picked his phone from the kitchen table and sent a text to the mammal they had just bid their goodbyes to.

[Thank you Judy, really]

~~[But I need you to do me one last favor~~

~~Tell the chief about that place, tell him to raid it~~

~~I don’t want to know if you convince him or not~~

~~I don’t want to know if they do it or not~~

~~I’m sure he won’t listen to you if you tell him where it was, but please~~

~~Please, do it]~~

[can u tell big buff buffalo i wont be back on monday??]

He only sent the first and last lines.

The rest went against his new mindset.

He had decided that, from then on, he’d only worry about those who deserved it.

No one could get to him if he surrounded himself with mammals who were important to him, and who also considered him to be an important part of their lives.

And Gideon was at the top of that list.

…

“Nick, can I have one of your pills? My head’s killing me.”

“Sure, I need one too.”

“Your ribs?”

“And my head. All this was… heavy.”

“Yeah it was…”

…

“…Gid.”

“Nick?”

“…thank you.”

“I already told you, you don’t have anything to thank me for.”

“Yes I do.”

\---

The foxes went to bed shortly after; their own sleep schedule was messed up, and after one of those painkillers, resting was a blessing even if it was eight in the morning.

They needed to talk, but they had time… Gideon wouldn’t leave on Monday, would he? If they were really going to Pawaii he’d have to stay longer, right?

In any case, it wasn’t the time to have a serious conversation.

The baker was the big spoon that night.

\---

“Hey, Gid…”

“Mmmyeah?”

“How would have our week been if the theme park wasn’t closed?”

“Didn’t Judy say it was in shambles?”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’d be dead.”

“…now all this mess doesn’t look so bad.”

“Go to sleep, Nick.”

The fox obliged after receiving a kiss on his right ear.

\---

>[Nick I already told you it’s oaky]

[*okay] - 8:47

 

[He says he doesn’t cake]

[*care] - 9:01

 

[gbbbnmmmmmjjj]

[jjj::::hhh)))]

[fdsa@@@@@----- klll””””””””””””””””] - 9:07

 

[Sorry, I passed out]

[I’m going hole]

[*home] - 9:26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classic edgy, unredeemable dad, huh?


	9. ---

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the belated chapter! The bad chapter! The "is this Naruto filler or something?" chapter!
> 
> Watersports discourse!

 Caresses and tickles.

In his ears, shoulders, in his paunch… it wasn’t the worst feeling to wake up to.

“…gnnnick.” Gideon’s voice was a lifeless growl muffled against the pillow.

“Yes?” And Nick’s was a seductive whisper that caressed the baker’s ear from behind.

It was clear he had been awake for more than fifteen seconds.

“What’re you doing?” He could feel the other’s muzzle and paws visiting his fur and skin, but his eyes were closed and his brain was still asleep.

“Saying good morning.”

“Hmmm… it’s morning?” Slowly, the plump fox’s eyelids separated and he could see a lamp, and a nightstand… and a remarkable wet spot on the pillow. Hopefully it was only drool.

“Afternoon.” Nick’s paws didn’t stop moving; there was something addictive about the baker’s body. Softness, tenderness that hid toughness underneath, a robust but delicate scent… a little too robust, maybe. The last time he could shower was Wednesday morning, and a lot happened since then.

“Good afternoon.” Gideon sounded like himself again. He turned to look at Nick, but when he finally was face up, the other vulpine’s eyes were looking at something else… down, not his belly, lower… oh. Mornin- uh, afternoon wood?

“It is indeed good.” It wasn’t difficult to figure out what Nick’s intentions were.

“Yeah… so, uh, how are your ribs?” Not to Gideon, at least, but that didn’t mean he was in the mood. Perhaps it was a little too early for him; just awoken and having to sweat again? He didn’t know what to do with his paws. Should he cover himself? Touch Nick? …high four him? Could he have breakfast first? Or at least go to the bathroom? That last one was really necessary.

“Never tasted them. How are yours?” Nick seemed to be trying to savor them with his right paw, but then his fingers started a journey to his waist, though surely their actual destination was a little lower.

And Gideon decided to address the elephant in the room. Not the entire thing, not yet; just the trunk.

“Just so you know, that thing down there is-“

“Mine.”

Nick’s lips stopped his from moving anymore; at first it looked like he tried to bite the baker’s muzzle, but it proved to be effective. Now he just had to slide his tongue in and-

“-ee!”

And get screamed in his mouth.

The officer pulled away looking at Gideon with an expression that said “already?”, but the plump fox had another reason to do that. Besides, Nick couldn’t even reach his briefs.

“Sorry… I need to use the toilet first…” He tried to tell him, he couldn’t always control what happened between his legs; even if the tent was up, it didn’t mean it wanted any visitors. The pudgy vulpine tried to sit up avoiding the other’s look, but Nick’s paws didn’t let him. Gideon started to worry; is that how he acted the day he woke up so frisky?

Nick got on his knees, letting the other vulpine see that his dick was in the same state as his; sleeping in their underwear left no room for imagination, huh? He leaned forward until his nose touched the baker’s, and his “snap your fingers and my ass is yours” face was back on.

“Wanna shower together?”

Oh, that didn’t sound too bad. Water would surely wake Gideon up, and they could fool around if that’s what Nick wanted. “Uh… sure! First let me just-“

“No, I mean _right now_.”

Huh, insistent. Was he really that horny? “Nick…? I have to-”

“Want me to be your toilet?”

“Holy shit, Nick!”

Where was this coming from?! He even made Gideon curse! What was going through his mind? Did they give him the wrong pills or something?

“…youuu, don’t want to?” Nick seemed (not entirely) apologetic; his paws didn’t abandon the other’s chest though, but even he thought that maybe he had gone too far.

“I… think I heard you wrong.” The baker needed a moment. The transition between dreaming of giant rabbits firing him from their company and having a horny fox telling him to pee on him was… _abrupt._ His eyes couldn’t even focus; was Nick’s tongue out? Was the drool on the pillow even his?!

“I said I wanted you to use me as your toi-“

“Okay! Okay! I heard you right!”

Even if he was injured, Nick wasn’t weak at all; he was pushing the other down on the crusty bed sheet (they _had to_ change them, so many fluids together couldn’t be healthy) with one paw while with the other he drew circles on Gideon’s chest.

“So…?”

“…what do you mean by that? Do you want me to...?”

“You said you have to use the toilet.”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t have to poop, do you?”

Why was this happening?! It’s grotesque, and bizarre, and… how long had he been thinking about it? He woke up and thought “hey, I want Gideon to pee on me”?

“No!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

In any case, Nick wanted to do it; he was so casual about it…

And Gideon… the thought of what happened a few hours ago was lingering in his mind, along with a few others provoked by that one.

But what if, for once, instead of overthinking, he just acted? Nick wanted to do it, the baker’s brain was still half-asleep... and even if he tried to deny it, Nick excited him quite a lot. Seeing that bulge pointing at him, the small wet spot on the slender vulpine’s boxers showing how much he wanted it, the hungry eyes that pierced his own…

The part of him that should be screaming “I CAN’T DO THAT!” was yawning, he had watched a couple of videos about these ‘watersports’… oh, and he helped Nick when he had to go when he was in the hospital!

Sure, he could… what was the harm anyway? Wasn’t there a TV show about a monkey who drank urine for fun or something like that? Yeah, maybe his request wasn’t that crazy… but they could do something more afterwards, right?

“…none, I guess.”

“So… you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, okay… but hurry please, I _really_ gotta go.”

Nick didn’t say anything else; he quickly scooted over Gideon’s belly and stood up before offering his paw to the pudgy vulpine, who used it as support to stand up as well. Obviously he didn’t need it, but maybe, in a remote universe, that could be considered somehow romantic.

In a flash the water was running, their underpants were on the bathroom floor, and Nick was waiting on his knees in the bathtub… but water was the only liquid soaking him.

“Come on, what’s the hold up?”

“I’m trying, Nick, but it’s hard…”

“I know that, it’s pointing at me.”

“No! I mean, yeah; but you’re looking at me and, well… it’s **_hard_**!”

A case of shy bladder syndrome and an erection. Gideon even told Nick not to touch him because then the liquid he’d spew out would be denser than water, and the slender fox took that as a pass to touch himself. Seeing the officer leaking didn’t help the baker do the same… not urine, at least.

“I can close my eyes if you want.”

“Alright, let’s try that.”

Gideon closed his eyes as well and threw his head back taking a deep breath. _‘Okay Gideon, calm down; it’s Nick, he wants this, he’s already seen you naked and he likes you… water. Warm water. The water’s running, falling over me… come on, come on, come on…!’_

And there we go…! Until Gideon opened his eyes again a second after, sending him back to square one.

He could only squirt a quick spurt that hit Nick on his muzzle, and the experience didn’t get better.

“I’m sorry Nick, I can’t-“

“AHHH! IT’S IN MY NOSE! GOD, GID, WHAT DID YOU DRINK?!”

The slender vulpine was practically slapping his snout trying to get rid of the aggressive smell. To be fair, it had been more than twelve hours since Gideon’s last visit to the bathroom, and even more since the last time he drank something; and his aim wasn’t the best since he wasn’t entirely controlling that thing between his legs…

“Nick! Oh god, I’m sorry!” The baker kneeled as well, trying to help the other, though not knowing how. “Try to… put your nose underwater! Where’s the plug?!”

“I don’t have a plug!”

Nick had expected that whatever he had in mind would make them scream, but for a completely different reason… now he was trying to snort water out of the shower head, Gideon was feeling awful, looking around and offering ideas out of anxiety like “smell the shampoo!”, and their erections were completely gone.

The worst part is that, while Gideon was “helping” Nick, he inadvertently peed in the drain; warm water worked, after all!

\---

After recovering his sense of smell, Nick tried to pick up where they left off, but Gideon’s sheath refused to move and the officer got tired of licking fur. When the slender fox realized, his own dick was hidden too… well, they could try again later.

Their shower ended up being really calm; they helped groom each other’s fur, Gideon asked where did that “pee on me” thing come from, Nick answered that he just felt like trying it… and while they were drying off, a new topic came up: breakfast!

“Toast?”

“Omelet?”

“Coffee?”

“Juice?”

“Judy brought muffins.”

“Muffins then?”

“We have flour.”

“You’re not baking.”

“But-“

“No, no, no; I told you, you’re on vacation, and that’s work for you.”

“You said you liked my pies…”

“No, I said I love them, and… vacation… Pawaii!”

“Ah… we’re actually doing that?”

“Yeah! You said you would.”

Gideon indeed did.

Nick was still excited, something unusual for him. There were a few possible reasons that could explain why he was acting so not-Nick-like; aside from his façade, he actually was a pretty collected mammal… maybe what happened between Gideon and Charles? Finally knowing the truth? The idea of going to the beach for the first time? Doing that with the baker? All those were convincing reasons.

“Don’t tell me you changed your mind, Gid.”

“No, no… I thought, you know… you were so excited… -- but I want to go, really.”

On the other hand, Gideon didn’t sound too convinced of his own words. It’s true, he wasn’t loud or obnoxious either, but there was something, something in his voice… you could almost call it sadness. Perhaps he was tired; their week was being extraordinarily restless.

Who knows if they realized that the other’s behavior was a little different than usual, but if they did, they chose not to say anything about it.

“Yes! It’ll be great! Us, the sun, a few drinks…” Nick left the towel he was using fall to the floor to get closer to the plump fox, who was still drying his tuft of hair, and wrapped his arms around the baker’s waist until he reached his tail, whose base stroked with two fingers. “…and maybe then, you and me, can clean each other’s sand off in our suite.”

That half-sappy, half-flirtatious whisper was visiting Gideon’s ears once again along with a come-hither look that common mortals have only seen in pornographic movies. Nick wanted to finish what they started.

But before Gideon had the chance to react or say anything, the slender fox gave him a quick peck on his half-parted lips and turned around, letting the other see how he lifted his tail and wiggled his completely exposed haunch.

“But first I have to book the flight and hotel, and pack our stuff, and breakfast! We can’t forget about breakfast. Well, it’s not breakfast because it’s like four in the afternoon, but-“

And like that, Nick abandoned the bathroom leaving a less-than-expected-but-still-awestruck Gideon watching his butt go to the living room.

“You’re still naked.”

Only the baker heard himself.

No, but really, was this because of the pills? He took one too before going to bed… painkillers don’t change your mood, do they? No, wait, those are antipsychotics…

\---

The soundtrack to their meal was a practically one-sided conversation played by Mr. Nick Wilde, who decided to put some pants on after getting muffin crumbs in his sheath. Really, his genitals were hurt and disappointed; what an afternoon.

The only topic they treated was, again, Pawaii; the officer was acting like a schoolgirl who just got tickets for one of her favorite hormone-bender boy bands’ concerts, and the baker offered replies that didn’t take much thought.

_“This guy on Tripadvisor says the Halekulani is the best hotel on the east side of Pokitaru, which is half a mile away from the city centre, but (…)“_

_“You’re going to choke on your juice…”_

_“(…) and this one is a resort; there’s a bar in the pool, AND it’s gay friendly. Then again… wait… clothes optional! Okay, what if we (…)”_

_“Sure, any room you want; nothing too flashy will (…) do you really think we need three Jacuzzis?! (…) Why would we go to a strip club again…? (…)”_

_“(…) but if we’re not going out at night, the pool and the bar are open 24/7, and there’s a spa.”_

In the end, their dialogue was truly fruitful; Nick had 12 Zoogle tabs open on his phone, his legs were covered in muffin crumbs, and finally he seemed to calm down… a little, at least.

Oh, and Gideon… well, he thought the muffins were okay.

“Gid! Oh my god, Gid! There’s a flight in four hours!” The slender vulpine jumped from his chair at the kitchen table to the couch where his laptop was so quickly he almost knocked over Gideon’s chair, luckily the baker was standing up clearing the table, so no one was harmed.

Nick’s attitude eventually brought a smile to the plump fox’s face; it was inevitable. He was excited as well, but perhaps a little overwhelmed; he went to Zootopia on vacation, and now that his and Nick’s got so stressful, they had to go somewhere else to have another one… it wasn’t what he was expecting. He wasn’t expecting any of this.

“We’re leaving in four hours then?”

“Will you be ready by then?”

Gideon sighed.

“Yeah, will you?”

“I just have to pack and- wait, this says we have to be there like an hour before leaving...”

“Three hours?”

“Three hours.”

The baker didn’t say anything more. He left his empty glass in the sink and went to Nick’s bedroom; it’d be better to pack as soon as possible. He had to be prudent; seeing how their week was developing it was possible that the moment he decided to sit back and relax a meteor hit the apartment. Chances were slim, but you never know…

Besides, they still had a few things to talk about, but he didn’t want to ruin Nick’s excitement, and Nick didn’t seem too worried about anything that wasn’t booking the junior suite that had caught his eye and downloading their boarding passes to his phone… though he had a couple of things to ask too.

Ignoring their issues could be a good way to play it safe, but in the long run they’d take a huge toll on them; their meeting with Charles was the perfect example, and the perfect trigger.

Gideon sat on the edge of the bed and reached underneath it trying to find his suitcase; he grabbed a handle, pulled out and… he found a black guitar case. Well, that wasn’t an unpleasant surprise.

“Nick! I didn’t know you played guitar!” The baker exclaimed loud enough for the addressed mammal to hear him as he examined the case; it was heavy, what type of guitar would Nick have? Acoustic, electric… a banjo?

“I don’t!” The officer replied in the same fashion from the living room.

“What…?”

Nick came through the open door a moment after. He saw what Gideon had before him and that it was still closed; this would be fun.

For a moment, the classic slick-Nick came back to life; half lidded eyes, sly grin and everything.

“Open it.”

Gideon was a little confused; maybe someone gave it to him as a present thinking he actually played? Or maybe he bought it just because he wanted… eventually he stopped thinking and obliged.

He unzipped it open and… oh. Oh! Now _THAT_ was a surprise.

Nick saw the baker’s face and couldn’t avoid snickering; it was really priceless, but his eyeballs would dry out if he kept it up.

“If I wasn’t seeing it, I’d ask if the cat got you tongue.”

The officer’s joke finally made the plump vulpine react. He had to swallow and blink a couple of times before being able to enunciate.

“How much?!”

Though he could stop yelling; Nick was right in front of him.

The slender fox crouched and scratched the back of his head ignoring the other’s inquiring eyes and observing the contents of the case. How much? He wasn’t sure…

“Around two hundred grand… two-fifty, maybe.”

But he wasn’t fazed at all. Why would he? It was his.

“You have-!”

Nick put a finger on his muzzle, indicating him to keep it down; he knew what Gideon was about to say, and shouting something like that wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone.

The baker understood, so he decided to whisper. He whispered loud.

“You have a quarter million in a guitar case under your bed?!”

The officer shrugged; it was there, he was seeing it, what did he have to say?

“This… god, Nick… were you a mobster or something?” Gideon was freaking out a little; he already knew the former con artist had quite some wealth, but he wasn’t expecting this… maybe his problem was expecting too much? The future is unpredictable, after all.

Nick stifled a laugh before sitting next to him and letting himself fall on the bed. Wouldn’t that hurt? Weren’t his ribs still injured?

“Yeah, well, I was more of a delivery boy.”

“…what?” Incredulous eyes met an unbothered face.

“I didn’t have a gun or anything, but I like to think I was important.”

“You’re serious? You were… a delivery boy… for the mafia?” Gideon couldn’t stress the ‘ _delivery boy’_ enough; was this another one of his jokes?

The slender fox simply nodded, his eyes fixated on the white ceiling.

_It wasn’t a joke._

“What… how… did that… how was...?”

And the pudgy one was having a really hard time; learning new things from Nick was turning into a dangerous game.

“It wasn’t too bad, really; I did what they told me to do, I got paid… but one day I met this guy, Finnick, he told me I could make some extra money… and long story short, they almost kill me.”

Did that really happen? The mafia tried to kill him? This… was any of this real? What kind of life did Nick have?!

Gideon didn’t even know what to think, or what to ask, or how to feel… it was _overwhelming_ , and they still had to leave for Pawaii, and take a plane… were those giant metal things safe?! And there was some kind of connection between Nick being the mob’s delivery boy and the teen Charles said was something like his son…

**It was enough.**

_What was the point in worrying anymore? All those problems, such a life…_

_…did he want that?_

_But if things went the way he thought they’d go… it wouldn’t last long anyway._

“But it’s cool now; Mr. Big, the boss, helped us solve the Night Howlers case, Judy’s his granddaughter’s godmother, and then he helped me get this place… and do my taxes.”

The way he pronounced that last sentence, the “I live here thanks to a mafia boss”, Judy being involved too… nothing elicited any questions from Gideon. He wouldn’t learn anything useful if he asked, would he?

Nick stood up with a grunt; his ribs actually hurt.

“Gotta go back to try and find seats in business, first class is full. Put that back when you’re done with it.”

And like that, slick-Nick was gone.

But before he left the room, Gideon had something to say.

“Nick, most of my clothes are in your washing machine.”

The slender fox halted under the doorframe, but he didn’t turn around.

“Borrow a couple of my shirts, or grab a couple of bills and get you something nice in Pawaii.”

“Is it fair to spend this money?”

“Isn’t it too late to give it back?”

“…”

“Gid… aren’t you excited?”

“…

_They said they wouldn’t lie to each other_

…no.”

“I… I need to talk to you, Nick.”

\---

“Is it about what happened yesterday? Because I have a couple of questions too.”

_Nick wasn’t oblivious._

“No… well, yes… but there’s something else I-“

_He just tried to find a comfort zone where both of them could enjoy themselves._

“Where did that come from, Gid?”

_But it was pointless, wasn’t it?_

“Huh?”

_Even if he didn’t want to, he had to face reality._

“What you said, what you did… that wasn’t like you.”

_Ignorance is bliss._

“I… I learnt a few things from my therapist, but-“

“So… strong, so brave… I can’t thank you enough, Gideon.”

_But in this case, both knew that bliss wasn’t real._

“Nick, look, I-“

“Did you want to be a psychologist too-?”

_Even if they didn’t want to…_

“ ** _Will ya listen ta me_**?!”

“…fine.”

_…they had to ~~comfort~~ confront each other._

**_For their own sake._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, ominous!


	10. THE VERY CHRISTMAS VERY SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the worst gift you've ever received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you in January with somewhat less regrettable events and author notes!

"Welp, Christmas is here. What do you usually do during the holiday, Gid?"

"I stay at home and eat leftovers."

"Oh..."

"Yep... and what about you, Nick? Any tradition you like to follow?"

"I... do something like you do... sometimes without the leftovers, sometimes without the home..."

"Ah..."

"Yeah..."

"..."

"..."

"...Judy's invited us over, if we want to join her family for dinner and maybe spend a few days there."

"Huh? You know her family, what would the experience be like?"

"Well... 3000 bunnies, food, noise, probably a couple of specist uncles per table..."

"Jeez, sounds delightful..."

"And I think I still have a video Robbie accidentally sent me."

"Robbie?"

"Judy's brother."

"What's it about?"

"Uhh... drunk relatives measuring their dicks on the table during Christmas dinner."

"Oh, god, that's... that's just- did you like it?"

"Nick!"

"Right, right, just what I thought, we're not going."

"..."

"..."

"He told me he'd kill me if I ever showed it to anyone."

"Well, I guess I understand; you don't want-"

"He's an alcoholic, Nick. He was arrested last thanksgiving after trying to drown his wife in the bathtub."

"Holy fuck! What... how did-"

"Alcoholism isn't funny."

"Yeah, I know, and it's-"

"It isn't funny, Nick."

"...alright."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So... are we still together?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, our story starts in February/March... did we break up during all this time? Did we get married?"

"I... I don't know. This is a Christmas special, those don't make sense and are painfully bad."

"Yeah... wanna go to my place, get drunk, cry because I guess we're still miserable, and maybe have sweaty and sloppy sex that none of us will enjoy?"

"Boy, do I ever!"

"Haha! Alright, let's go."

"..."

"..."

"Hey Nick... are reindeers real?"

WRITE SOMETHING WITTY HERE.

"I had never seen it like that! You're right, Nick; that's the real meaning of Christmas!"

Oh shit I just remembered I had an actual sex scene in mind that involved dressing up like Santa... something about bondage? Wrapped dick? Ornaments in ass? I guess that's the present I'm giving you this year: imagination!

Imagine the foxes doing the thing! And happy whatever you celebrate, if you celebrate anything at all. But you like gifts, don't you? Well, then us your brand new imagination to imagine your dad is not drunk and he's not telling you how much of a disappointment you are while the whole family agrees with himFUCK YOU DAD I WILL NEVER BE A BIOLOGIST YOU RUINED MY LIFE I LIKE MEN WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT I'LL TELL MOM YOU FUCK TRANSVESTITES YOU FIND ON THE INTERNET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But for real, enjoy your thing and have a somewhat less scary new year!
> 
> I could've published the actual next chapter two months ago, but noooo, I'm too busy, the very important man. Fuck me, dude. Actual chapter coming... I don't know... before the Sly Cooper movie!


	11. ---Yeah, it's Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've probably been reading this whole thing, do you really want a summary? I mean, you could probably be reading just this one chapter... yeah, okay, here's your summary: they're actually ghosts.
> 
> Sorry, that was uncalled for.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

“Gideon, I swear this is the last time I interrupt you, but before you say whatever you have to say... is it really necessary?”

“...was it necessary to go see your dad?”

That was the exact same tone the baker used when he talked to Charles; calm, neutral, almost bored… if he were speaking to someone who didn’t know him as well as Nick thought he did, he could fool them into thinking nothing was wrong. But Nick was there, and he had been there before; he had learnt a couple of secrets about the plump vulpine, and he was sure whatever was coming next wouldn’t be pleasant. Was Gideon even aware that he did that? It was… unnerving.

In fact, even that question… was it really necessary to go see Charles? Nick would say yes, because he needed to know the truth, because his heart told him so, because all that time he spent not knowing was pai-

 

Oh.

 

That was it. That's what Gideon wanted.

He didn't want to go through the same, he didn’t want to spend his nights awake thinking about how uncertain his… _their_ future was; he had doubts, and he saw a chance to solve them. But the truth... many times it isn't sweet, many times it’s also painful and hard to accept; it's easier to live a lie, especially when your life revolves around it.

Nick’s father wasn't a hero, after all...

But unlike that night, Gideon hadn’t had two decades to think about what to say, he didn't have time to assimilate everything that was going on, he couldn't become tough enough as not to be affected by the outcome... only realization and the raw feelings of an apologetic, conformist, insecure fox that, for once, decided to stand up for himself by taking a stand against himself.

“Yes, Nick; it is.”

Again, the officer’s bed was the seat holding their weight; luckily, it was exclusively their physical one. They didn’t face each other, either because they felt like they couldn’t or because there was something oddly fascinating on the floor. But pants aren’t that impressive.

                                                                             _Gideon… what are you doing, Gideon?_

Gideon Grey had never been the mammal he wanted to be; he had always acted as he had been told, walking down a path someone else made for him.

What if I told you he reacted that way when Judy said she wanted to be a police officer because, back in the day, he wanted to be one himself and he saw competition in her? That he thought he wouldn’t be able to make it because she would? Everybody knows bullies are insecure.

But that was in the past. From there on defining himself became a difficult task; he was told he couldn’t be the one he had learnt to be, that he had to change, and it was for the best, right? He became the mammal he is today: polite, affable, with acquired hobbies, ways of thinking… reminders of everything he had to go through.

And for that, he hated himself. Not himself as an individual, in that sense he could be considered pretty decent; no, he hated the events that made the Gideon Grey he had grown up to be.

It could be worse: he could have gone down the road he was bound to at first, an unsupervised one, just like Nick did. The former con artist was lucky to say he was alive; knowing how Gideon used to be… probably he couldn’t say anything at all.

_Children are impressionable, and no matter how much you try to correct it afterwards, if their foundation is crooked from the very beginning it’ll be that way forever._

For that same reason his greatest enemy was himself. He knew that being vulnerable is part of being a person, not a weakness, but after all this time he still had trouble accepting that fact when it applied to him.

Doing what he was about to do, more than anything, was an act of both strength and selfishness; going against what Gideon would do in behalf of what Gideon wanted to do.

Huh, maybe he should thank Nick for that, maybe he saved the baker's life; in the long run, repression can be really dangerous... but what would the officer know about that, right?

“What do you want to talk about?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“And me… I want to talk about us.”

This exchange of lifeless whispers made Nick’s ears perk up; Gideon was a topic he’d like to talk about, but he couldn’t say the same about himself.

“Is there something wrong with… us?”

Gideon took a deep breath and for a split second he almost looked at his partner, but the words that were tangling in his throat stiffed his neck and didn’t let him turn his head around.

“…trust.”

“…trust?”

What did he mean by that? Did he… did Nick do something that made him uncomfortable, that made him feel unsafe? Maybe… taking him to that godforsaken place was too much; Gideon didn’t need to fight his battles, he-

“I… I think I trusted you too much from the beginning.”

“…what?”

What did he mean by that…? He couldn’t trust him?

“Gideon, I… I don’t know what to say… I’m sorr-“

“No! No, no;” the baker stopped him before he could jump to any conclusions. In his eyes, Nick didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t have to apologize for anything. Everything he did he did it willingly… but at least that got him to raise his voice. “It’s not a bad thing… it’s just that I…” Though that didn’t make this any less difficult. “Look, I… needed someone, I really needed someone… and I found that someone in you.”

…that was it? Well, it’s certainly… something.

“That’s what you wanted to tell me? That you were desperate?” This helped Nick realize something; he was dealing with Gideon here, his Gid.

He could ease off, the younger vulpine had no ill will. In fact, the officer had been acting in an unusual way as well, to say the least… maybe he could have seen this coming?

“But this… wh- whole thing, our relationship… it’s not normal.” Gideon couldn’t even talk properly or swallow normally. What he was saying… what was he even saying?! Could words actually carry weight? Every syllable he pronounced was like vomiting a boulder…

He wasn’t the cool, calm and collected fox that punched a junkie who believed was a genius less than twenty four hours ago.

No, now he was scared.

And Nick could see that.

Since the situation was so… tense, he resorted to his classic mechanisms.

“Because… we’re both males?”

But that poor joke didn’t make the baker laugh; he shook his hung head slowly.

“Because… m-maybe it was because ya were the first fox Ah eva’ met… Ah-I don’ usually cry right after meetin’ someone new…”

Is that what worried him, his first impression? Come on, Nick cried too! And two days later he was sucking his dick! What the hell was he supposed to get out of this? That he regretted everything?!

And… god, why was Nick so angry? Who was he angry with?

He was… he was angry with himself. He was angry with himself because he could actually read between the lines, and he hated it, but fooling himself was pointless. He could imagine where all this was leading to… and in his mind he was the only one to blame…

His parents, his actions, his words… he hated he didn’t control himself. He was being himself with Gideon, and what did that bring?

“Me neither, Gideon… me neither.”

He was defeated.

But the baker didn’t want that; he was trying to shed some light on their intentions.

“Ah… I had neva’ open’d up to someone, and Ah… I relied too much on you. The other d-day, w-when we were in the train Ah-I had somethin’ like a revelation.”

It was happening again.

By now you could pin down what caused Gideon’s accent and stutter.

_Fear._

_Breathe. Think; why are you doing this?_

_I’m doing this for him… for us._

“When I freaked out I thought about you; and it helped me calm down.”

Just like now.

“And that’s bad?”

“Depending on you as much as I did… as I still do… yes, it’s bad.”

“…you depend on me… and what should I do…?”

At that point, Nick wouldn’t have said “no” to anything.

“Nothing! You’re fine… what I mean is that I…” Gideon didn’t want him to do anything for him; he didn’t need that. “I love you, okay?”

All he needed was Nick, and he was scared of that necessity. Now that he was more calm (to the extent possible), he looked at him.

It wasn’t a coincidence his eyes met his counterpart’s. They reciprocated one another, and the first word that came to mind was _sadness._

“I love you too.”

Their tone didn’t match the emotion their words conveyed.

There was a long pause. Nick didn’t know if he should say anything and Gideon was struggling to find the right way to say what was in his mind.

Who knows how much time really passed, but after a short eternity the younger vulpine couldn’t keep that staring contest up. He couldn’t find the strength to say the following to Nick’s face.

“But… maybe… this… this isn’t healthy.”

The officer was apparently unaffected, but in his head things were different; he was screaming, crying out _“NO, NO, PLEASE, NO!”_

“…”

And the lack of any reaction worried Gideon.

“Nick…”

He looked at the slender fox again, but he wasn’t looking at him anymore; his pupils were fixated on the floor once again.

“…”

It’s harder to hear it than to think about it.

_I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING._

_I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN._

_IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME._

_WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?_

Things never play out the way you picture them.

_But maybe…_

_…maybe…_

“Nick… please, say-”

“Gideon… I need you too;”

Nick stood up just to kneel at the baker’s feet.

“I don’t care about that dependence shit… I opened up to you!”

In his scream, his voice cracked. He couldn’t hide the fact he was a sentence away from crying, even less when his shiny eyes met Gideon’s for the umpteenth time.

“I had never done anything like that… I needed someone too, and then I met you…” One of his paws reached for the pudgy fox’s lap, and the other for his face.

“And now, you…”

He carefully caressed his soft cheek.

“You are breaking up with me…?”

He wanted to shout, but he couldn’t.

His expression said everything his throat wouldn’t let him; no one had ever seen Nick Wilde make that face before.

He was broken.

Gideon hated it, and he hated himself for letting that happen. In other instances Nick’s touch was delightful; now it was burning him.

He was… down there, looking at him… and he didn’t know what to do. Even if the plump vulpine wanted, he couldn’t move.

But he didn’t… he didn’t want to break up with him. That idea never crossed his mind.

He was afraid of what this could bring them, that’s all… he never thought it could cause this.

“Nick, I love yo-!”

_Why was this happening…?_

“Shut up!”

Nick hated himself too; why wouldn’t he? Who else could he blame for what was happening?

“No! Believe me, I do love you! I’ve gotten to know you and-!”

“Shut up, shut up!”

“But I need to be my own mammal!”

“…”

_Is this what happens when you try to make sure you’re doing the right thing?_

                                                                                                                                  “…”

_I don’t want this. I just want you._

“…”

_I’m scared._

“…”

“…is that it? You can’t rely on me? Why? Because… because I have problems too? Because of what happened with my parents?! Because of the money under my bed?! You want someone who-“

“N-no! Nick, Ah want y-you! Ah love you! Ah-I want to be with you… but Ah can’t stop thinkin’… that if we continue like this… and one day we drift apart…”

“Why would that happen?!”

“Ah don’ know!”

“…”

_But it could happen._

“…”

_Why can’t we be… normal?_

 “…we said we wouldn’t worry about that until the time came.”

“…Ah know.”

“…after what’s happened to us, after what’s happened between us… you fear one day you’ll be alone?”

“…yeah.”

“…and I won’t be there for you…”

“…yeah.”

 “You’re dumb.”

“Nick…”

_If it’s that easy…_

_Why am I worrying so much?!_

“No, now you listen to me; you think one day I’ll forget about you? That I won’t worry about you? That I won’t be there for you if you need me?”

Gideon just nodded this time.

 “I said I wouldn’t lie to you, and I haven’t; and I need you to believe when I say I will **_always_** be there for you. You, dumb fox, don’t even know how much you mean to me!”

                                                                                                                      “…”

“You… I feel like I owe you so much… I barely recognize myself! I… you’re better with words than me! I don’t… I never had this feeling before! I’ve had butterflies in my stomach since I met you!”

                                                                       “…”

“It’s like… even if one day you don’t want to kiss me anymore, even if you don’t want me to touch you again… I will be there for you if you need me.”

                      “…why?”

After all, Gideon was naïve too.

“Because I don’t want to lose you either, because I don’t… I can’t…”

_Be honest._

“I don’t want to be alone, not again… I found you… I don’t want to let you go, Gideon.”

_Because it goes beyond the initial infatuation, because it’s not always passion, because everyone has their up and downs._

“I don’t want to leave you, Nick.”

_And I understand that. And I know you do too._

“You don’t have to! If… if you need me, I’ll be there; if you are feeling down, I’ll be there; if you’re happy… I want to be there…

I love you, Gideon Grey.

And I will never, ever hurt you.”

Gideon knew he wasn’t lying.

He had no idea when he started crying… maybe when Nick did? But the officer stopped when he started talking. It must be then.

This time his tears didn’t darken his fur with the same pain it did previous times because now he knew. He didn’t have to imagine, he knew what Nick’s intentions were; he finally knew he really had nothing to fear.

“I’m sorry… I… I love you too, Nick! I… I… this is so hard!”

“No, it’s not; it’s just you and me. I want to be with you…”

Nick had to be the calm and collected one this time; it’s okay, he was used to that. Although now he wasn’t pretending, it was how he felt. He was aware of the fact that one day Gideon would have to go back to Bunny Burrows, that maybe one day he’d tell him he wasn’t in love with him, but he never thought they’d really drift apart; it was… a fox thing, that perhaps the pieces of a broken fox could fix another one and vice versa.

“And I wanna be with you! But… look at me, I’m crying because… I… god! I don’t even know!”

“…because you’ve been alone, just like me.”

Gideon got to him, and he didn’t regret it.

“Yeah…”

“And just like you, I feared losing you.”

Nick didn’t regret getting to him, and he wanted to make sure he never would.

_Why did he say anything?_

_Nick was right._

_It was just them._

_They went through a lot of hardships during the week he spent there._

_It couldn’t get worse._

_And if it did, he’d have Nick, right?_

_He said so._

**_He worried too much._ **

_But what if this wasn’t healthy? What if one day everything changes again? What if I’m not ready? What if in the long run-?_

**Please, stop boycotting yourself!**

**_..._ **

**_Fuck it._ **

Gideon lifted Nick and hugged him as strongly as he possibly could, his arms wrapping the naked, slender torso of the older fox. That didn’t help his injured ribs at all, but he felt no pain; all he felt was the warmth the other vulpine emanated.

None of them believed in auras, or chakras, or anything parapsychological, but they could feel it; they could feel the other beyond a physical level. They saw love when they looked at each other; safety when they touched. Everything they really wanted, that feeling of familiriaty, of being home…

“You’re not losing me, Nick! I… I’m dumb! I’m a dumb fox! I… I…”

_I was wrong; I didn’t trust you enough. You wouldn’t hurt me._

 “No, I’m dumb…”

_I thought YOU were tired of me. Why do you think I was acting like a lunatic? I thought you’d like that, I thought you wanted to see me all chirpy and excited. I thought that way… I’d have your attention._

“…I’m dumber…”

_I just want you the way you are; you don’t have to change or do anything special for me. I don’t hate needing you anymore… now I know I have a reason to do so, and you’ve made me believe I won’t ever lose you._

“Can we say we’re both dumb?”

“…okay.”

Their caresses didn’t burn anymore, their eyes were alive again.

“…are you leaving this dumb fox?”

_I'm scared too, you know? You think I don't see how crazy this is?! You think I haven't thought we're just together because we're desperate?! I don't know shit about relationships, Gideon; I don't know what I'm doing! But isn't it about being happy? With each other? With what we have?_

“No. I... I can’t… I don’t want to… I need you.”

_And if we weren’t happy together… why would we be together?_

“I need you too.”

_And that’s okay._

_-_

_It’s true, we have no idea what we’re doing._

_-_

_We’ve talked a lot about love and happiness._

_-_

_At this point you’d say those words wouldn’t even mean anything_

_-_

_But they’ve never made more sense to me._

_-_

_I love you._

_-_

_I love loving you._

_-_

_I need you._

_-_

_Because you make me happy in a way I had never experienced before._

_-_

_And I’m addicted._

_-_

_And that’s okay, because you’ve made my life so much better…_

_\---_

“God, Gid; we really have to stop doing this.”

“What do you mean?”

“This! We’ve been crying almost every day… I didn’t know I was so emotional.”

 “Me neither… but I guess it’s over?”

“I hope so… do you still have doubts?”

“Not really… what about you?”

“No.”

_\---_

Who-knows-how-many minutes later they were completely calmed down, lying on their shared bed with their eyes closed and their paws intertwined. They really went through a lot, they deserved a break.

“So… does this mean we’re not going to the beach?”

“Do you really want to go?”

“Not really… but you said you wanted to, so I thought you’d like it.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah… you know that stuff you say but you haven’t really thought through? You tell a lot of jokes, you have to know what I mean.”

“Oh yeah! Like when someone annoys you and you say you want to kill them.”

“That’s it… with some exceptions.”

“And what do you want to do?”

“What do I want to do… nothing especial, really. I feel like we’ve been doing so much lately… I just wanna relax. And you?”

“I just want to spend time with you.”

“Aw, Nick.”

“I mean it!”

He really did; Nick found in Gideon the father figure he always lacked. Since the pudgy fox ended up having to become his own, avoiding everything that defined his real father, the idea of him being the role model Nick needed appeared in his brain; Nick idolized him. “We already know the worst about each other, right?”

“Right.”

“Now I want to… I don’t know, have a good time! Lie on the couch and watch TV with you or something.”

“I’d like that.”

“Maybe fool around a little?”

“Maybe… will you ask me to pee on you again?”

“…”

\---

All the time they spent on that bed made them realize something: they really needed to change the sheets. When Nick went to put them in his washing machine he found almost all of Gideon’s clothes there, and also that he had no detergent.

“Hey Gid! Going shopping together is something couples do, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Alright! The mall is still open.”

When Gideon saw the officer crouching in front of the washing machine he figured out what his plans were.

“Don’t tell me you want to buy me clothes…”

“Actually I just wanted to buy detergent… but sure! Let’s be one of those annoying couples that wear matching sweaters and mate in public!”

“Sure! Let me just grab the lube!”

At this point it’s almost certain that Nick’s sense of humor is a disease and that Gideon got infected. Although… you could also say Nick’s personality was stronger than the baker’s; some of his most representative traits were the least defined in Gideon’s persona, and since he saw a strong figure in the officer, someone to follow, he unconsciously adopted them.

It really is no secret that they admired each other.

“Don’t! Did you know lube expires?”

They thought about writing a list with everything they’d get, but Nick opposed; it wasn’t like they were on a budget, they could buy anything. Before Gideon could say something about not needing Nick’s money and that that is what he meant when he said he wanted to be his own mammal, the slender vulpine came up with a new rule.

“No talking about money; it’s not a problem, right? Let’s not turn it into one.”

And he was right, but Gideon wanted to keep the receipts. Nick understood he didn’t want nor need his money, but he wouldn’t turn down a present, would he? The plump vulpine said he’d only accept if in exchange he could cook for him. Nick would have settled for one of his pies, but the baker also knew how to use a pan… though they’d need to buy one first. The officer never was much of a chef, not that he had the chance to learn how to cook… or that he wanted to.

They left after Nick got dressed, called a cab, closed all the hotels and flying companies tabs he had open and Zoogled “do they sell dildos in malls” and “are the blueberries they sell in malls good.”

\---

“I didn’t have the chance to ask you before… but you acted like you did with my dad because of me?”

“Well, I had my own issues… but yeah… I didn’t like what I was seeing. Weren’t you acting like a horny cartoon character because of me?”

The cabbie giggled at that; Nick wanted to tell him to focus on the road, but none of them were being specially hushed. At least now he had something to talk about with his peers.

“Yes… but you liked it, right? A tiny bit?”

“A tiny bit…”

The late afternoon sun lighted their faces up, revealing identical smirks adorning their faces; smirks that progressively turned into full blown smiles when they looked at each other and thought about their afternoon… they were alike in many aspects, and one of them was their silliness. But it wasn’t their fault being that naïve when it came to relationships; movies aren’t good learning material and the closest thing to that kind of affection they had experienced before was either lust or camaraderie… or pity.

At that moment, both of their phones rang. On Nick’s screen appeared Judy’s name, and on Gideon’s her mom’s.

“Cottontail, did you enjoy your nap?”

“Hi, Bonnie!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re okay.”

“Oh… I don’t if I’ll be back by Monday…”

“Oh, were you worrie-? Okay, okay! Don’t yell!”

“Thank yo-oh? My accent? I didn’t realize… maybe the capital is really rubbing off me.”

“No, we’re not going anywhere; the only free spots in the plane were- what? I sound happy?”

“Maybe he is, but don’t worry, he treats me really well.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Gid punched my dad.”

“You’re right, it’s good to be able to be with another fox for a change.”

“Yes he did! And he looked so cool…”

“Alrigh- yeah, sure, I can hear Danny asking for his dinne- Fine! And thank you for changing the sign on the store door!”

“Carrots, I gotta run now; call me later and I’ll tell you how many teeth were on the floor. No. No! Carrots, please, we’re not- we’re at the mall, okay?! Go have breakfast, bye!”

“Tell everyone I said hi! Goodbye!”

Sighing was inevitable; _those_ conversations were exhausting.

“Bunnies, am I right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh! Got ya, they didn't break up! 
> 
> But if you actually understood everything going on here, congratulations. It took me three hours after it was completely finished to make sure everything made the sense I wanted it to make, having to skim through the rest of chapters to really grasp what was happening.


	12. Who cares what day it is?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heckie, this is long. But the official people got a golden little man!

"Okay, you go put all that away while I start with dinner?"

"I'm on it."

Who knew shopping could be fun? Not these two, I tell you.

Turns out malls in capitals are huge; they have stores inside stores inside stores, and Gideon and Nick who weren't too familiar with this type of places ended up taking their little trip as an adventure.

They found mythical creatures, like the old possum that opened the package of a bra, tried it on over her clothes, checked herself out in a mirror in the personal hygiene aisle, shrugged and left never to be seen again.

They found enemies, like the gum-chewing, question-ignoring, eye-rolling wolf that guided them poorly through the electronics aisle and yelled at them when Gideon pressed a key on one of the laptops that were on display.

They found allies, like the young tigress that helped them find not ultra slim fit, bloodflow-isn't-important pants and shirts, along with the fitting room. She winked at them when they got in together; who knows if she wanted to join them or was just being amicable. But she was used to assist customers, and the ones that chose clothes for each other and blushed after one of them said the other looks good in anything were usually couples.

Maybe they weren't as dissimulated as they thought. Couldn't they pass for just friends? They weren't holding paws, they didn't kiss, they barely touched each other… maybe it was everything else they ignored; the way they talked, how Nick's gaze followed Gideon's every time he looked at something, their scent…

Probably more mammals than they thought knew they weren't just friends. For example, the security guard watching the cameras.

_"_ _(…) but I don't know if matching sweatpants will be too mu- Nick."_

_The addressed fox, already wearing his pair of pants, barely looked at the surprised but not disconcerted baker with an innocent smile._

_"_ _Yes?"_

_"_ _You're holding my paw."_

_"_ _I know."_

_None of them needed a reason to do so, but Gideon had a little problem with this._

_"_ _How am I supposed to change then?"_

_"_ _Just a second, Gid."_

_Their exchange was nothing but whispers, yet he didn't need Nick to be any louder to understand what was going on._

_"_ _You don't like doing this in public either, do you?"_

_The officer simply shook his head._

_Perhaps he was jealous; when they arrived they saw a couple of teenagers kissing out in the open, and no one told them anything. Nick never got to experience that, Gideon didn't either._

_The pudgy vulpine just kissed the older one's nose and squeezed his paw._

_"_ _Those look good on you."_

_And that felt better than any public display of affection they could think of._

Of course they got some nasty stares; it wasn't one but two foxes walking around their mall, and even if some of the mammals in there recognized Nick, prejudices are prejudices.

Though not all of them were assholes; they met a family of pandas that helped them pick vegetables and whose daughter was mesmerized by the foxes' tails, an old lion selling his establishment _"Hey, Gid! This could be a good place for a bakery!",_ and a cashier that could be described as the female version of Clawhauser. She almost forgot to charge them, which was hard given the total they spent had three digits.

_"_ _Nick… when did you get all this?"_

_Gideon's expression was unreadable; he was… angry? No, no… confused? Excited? Hungry? Worried about climate change?_

_"_ _Remember when you went to the bathroom, right after we arrived?"_

_Nick's on the other hand was just a big, proud and silly grin._

_"_ _Yes…"_

_"_ _I gave five bucks to a guy and told him to follow us and grab everything I pointed at."_

_"…"_

_"_ _He's the one in line behind us."_

_"…"_

_"_ _I knew you'd be speechless."_

_"_ _Nick-"_

_"_ _Nu-uh, I know what you're going to say."_

_Talking about money was pointless and Gideon knew it too._

_"_ _...do you have enough space in your apartment?"_

_Oh. Oh!_

_"…_ _can I keep food in the closet?"_

It took them twelve reusable plastic bags, a seven-seater taxi, and a fox that wouldn't let the other fox carry any of the bags because his ribs were still injured, but they eventually made it back home.

"Hey Gid, you like these?"

The baker turned around to find a seemingly excited Nick carrying… matching pajamas.

"I thought the sweatpants were enough." He replied pretending to be annoyed, with his paws on his hips and a frown that didn't last more than two seconds. He couldn't be angry; that was Nick, he knew he wanted to please him, and so did Gideon. Stopping each other would be futile. Besides, he carried the bags; he already knew what was in a few of them.

"Wait until you see the sweaters; what do you prefer, size L pink or size XL pink?"

Among the many things Gideon didn't know they purchased there was a game console with sixteen games and four controllers, a capsule coffee machine, a cookware set that included enough utensils to please that TV chef that yells so much, a folding full body furdryer, a bunch of personal care products, coat hangers, bed sheets (you know, just in case), matching sponges and bathrobes…

Curt, the guy Nick paid, did a good job.

The officer didn't put a spotlight on anything he got his paws on; Gideon was bound to see everything. In fact, the baker barely reacted to anything; when he saw the coffee machine he just said "I've seen this one on TV! Try to avoid pianos when you go buy capsules, though." and when he saw the console "Judy's siblings have one of these! They always beat me."

Nick expected more amazement, but he was okay with this; Gideon didn't run away after hearing about his past, nor he took the first train to Bunny Burrows when the whole "I'm gonna go kill my dad" drama started, and it was for the best. What if all this overwhelmed him? What if all these little surprises ended up being too much for the pudgy vulpine? He could control himself, and by consequence, Nick.

And the former con artist also saw an excuse to get some treats for himself in his partner, so everybody wins.

"Do you like eggplant?" Gideon cheerfully asked as he entered the bedroom, surprise hugging Nick from behind, wrapping his arms around the other's hips and letting his paws rest on the officer's lower belly, making his whole body tickle for an instant.

"Eggplant? Yeah, I think so…" He tried to turn his head around to face the baker, but the plump fox just placed a quick peck on his cheek before leaving with a sonorous "okay!"

 _These_ were Gideon's type of surprises; maybe he wasn't lost and bedazzled because he knew what Nick's intentions were, but that didn't mean he wasn't happy and thankful, and he had one way to show those: affection.

Now Nick was the surprised one, and he couldn't say he hated it.

He was almost done opening bags and packages and deciding what was ready to be worn and what needed a wash when his phone started ringing.

Mr. Big was calling. Huh, unusual, but not completely out of place; sometimes he invited Nick to certain events, thinking he might be interested in some products his wealth could afford, but the fox always declined politely. Though he had never called at 10 in the evening before.

"Let's see what he wants this time." He said to himself, knowing Gideon wouldn't hear him with the smoke extractor on. He took a deep breath and finally answered his phone. "Mr. Big! How's everything going?"

Of course it was important to put his game face on even if no one was going to see it.

"Not too bad, Nicky, not too bad; business is... _come si dice_ …? It's stable, and my two ladies are happy." Nick let out an affirmative hum before the old mammal continued. "Listen, do you know who Charlie Whiteclaws is?"

 _'_ _Oh, so you're not trying to sell me a boat this time?'_ \- "No, I think I've never heard that name."

"Maybe you haven't, but you do know that man. I've been told you saw him not too long ago."

 _'_ _What have you been told and by who? Are you spying on me, you decrepit rat?'_ – "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

Call him crazy, but Nick didn't really like the mammal that tried to kill him more than once much. That's why he had to pretend in this case, to avoid conflicts.

"His real name isn't Whiteclaws."

Nick only knew one Charlie, and given his and Mr. Big's backgrounds, it wasn't too hard to figure who he was talking about. Put the pieces together and... yeah, it had to be him. Of course a Mafioso knew about him.

"Oh... it isn't? What is it then?" He couldn't physically avoid sounding smug. Where was he going with all this? Was he a member of his _famiglia_ and he insulted them when-

"He's dead."

Oh.

Nick's expression barely changed; his face didn't have a faint, cocky smile on it anymore, and he wouldn't sound like he was glad to talk to a crime lord anymore, but that was about it.

"...what?"

However, he was inevitably shocked.

"Your father is dead Nicky; I'm so-"

"And why are you telling me this?"

And a little pissed; why did he know Charles was his father? Why did he have this information? What made him think Nick cared?

"I thought you should know about-"

He couldn't say he was sad, maybe if you gave him time… but when affected by heavy emotional baggage, his façade faults.

"I don't care if he's dead."

And his feelings reach the surface.

"-his methods. Don't interrupt me, Nicky; he used kids, he sent them to specific places following a schedule only he knew to do god knows what. My boys have dealt with them a couple of times, but they say they were nothing but kits. I heard some others, older I believe, are behind bars, and sometimes he'd use his own people as bait, he'd let them get caught so they could deliver messages from outside. Now-"

Nick was having a hard time trying to be polite, because as he said, he didn't care.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Big, but I don't see how any of this affects me."

"It does affect you, see? Because-"

"Am I in danger?"

He wasn't really worried, but that'd be a real inconvenience.

"I told you not to interrupt me."

He did, but Nick didn't have that much respect for him.

"..."

Though, yet again, he'd rather avoid conflicts.

"No, you're not in danger; as far as I'm concerned, they don't know you exist, but they don't have a leader anymore. For now I'll keep an eye on them, but if they misbehave, you and your blue uniform will have to intervene."

That was it, huh? Favors. That's how Mr. Big worked, he hated inconveniences as well.

"Not my problem, I'm on vacation."

"Still, you should-"

No, Nick wouldn't let him tell him what to do. He did some things that benefited him, sure, so what? That didn't give him any power over the officer, even less when it came to something that could only affect him directly.

"Let me ask you something; how long have you known him?"

"Your father?"

"Yes."

"Almost 30 years, since he first came to my uncle Lo-"

_'_ _Thirty fucking years…'_

That was enough.

"Goodbye, Mr. Big."

Nick hung up before the other had the chance to continue speaking; there wasn't anything he wanted to hear from him. Luckily he wouldn't call again and would blame his behavior on the shock. He could figure out that much, right?

_'Thirty years... thirty fucking years... he knew, and this damned shrew never told me anything. And now a bunch of wild foxes running around... what, were they like his children or something?! Was he too busy teaching them how to burn spoons and-!_

The sheet under his paw couldn't be any more wrinkled, and he realized.

_No, no; calm down, Nick. None of that is your problem; if anything, you have one less to deal with. You have a stable life now, and Gideon. And that same Gideon is making dinner, and you're hungry.'_

It wouldn't have to be a problem: can you really lose someone who was never there to begin with? It's not like he ever took care of... well, it's true; Charles took Nick to that theme park when he was little. That was one of his first memories, and the only memory of his father he had until that week.

But with that... and his disappearance... he made Nick want to build his own theme park, and as time went by he became more twisted... his park would be a haven for preds... like those other foxes...

No, no, no! He was reading too much into this! The butterfly effect is a bitch, that's it!

The only thing he was curious about was how Charles died... probably overdose, or stabbed to death by another crackhead.

What, now there were foxes in the downtown district too? They couldn't be too rowdy or they wouldn't last long; he knew that well. Besides, what did he care? The idea of him leaving the ZPD gained more weight every hour since he told Gideon.

He knew the baker didn't want to lose him, and he wouldn't let a stray bullet take him away from the only one he was willing to give his life for. He had fun with Judy, but... he didn't feel the need to be with her as much; their days working together had become a routine he tried to finish as soon as possible so he could do something else. It wasn't like they didn't like each other anymore, but you run out of things to talk about quickly when most of your life's been spent in the shadows and you don't feel like shedding light on it. Besides, maybe they'd even be better if they were regular friends that didn't share a job; no arguing over who had to fill what report and such.

And we all know he wasn't a cop just because he loved justice.

Sitting on his bed, again… he wasn't crying this time, but he was completely silent looking at the nothingness.

"Nick? Are you okay?"

Gideon was back standing under the frame of the door, but this time he found the former con artist wasn't as distracted.

"Uh? Ah? Yeah, yeah... I'm fine."

At least not hanging clothes.

"Are you sure?"

What was the point in hiding it?

"...my father died."

Gideon knew something was going on, but he didn't imagine it would be something like that. How should he react? Should he comfort Nick? Tell him he was glad? Not say anything at all? Maybe rub his back, tell him he was sorry for his lost… but he wasn't, and it was strange to think Nick did.

"...oh. I... I'm sorry, I don't know what to say..."

Deep down, Nick didn't either. But thinking about it wouldn't do any good to any of them.

"It's okay, Gid." Finally the older fox's blank expression disappeared. He looked at the mammal who always brought a smile to his face, and he could tell he was worried, so he wanted to make sure he knew he didn't have to. He quickly stood up and hugged him, not sure of which one of them needed it most. "I just want you to tell me one thing."

"Anything you need." Gideon didn't hesitate to reciprocate the action, running his fingers up and down Nick's back.

"Is dinner ready?"

Though his concern was for naught; the slender fox hadn't developed new feelings towards his father, but discovering he died less than 24 hours after they last saw him… maybe something they said or did drove him to do whatever he did, or maybe he was in debt, or maybe his building fell down.

"Almost; I came to ask you if you wanted curry or mustard sauce."

But thinking about it was pointless.

"Do we have curry?"

"Curry, and five bags of garlic bread, and three different types of chocolate milk, four types of coffee capsules, and no more space in your cabinets."

"…I think Curt thought some of those were going to be for him."

"And I think the eggs are burning."

"Hmm mm…" Nick understood his insinuation, but he didn't want to let his Gid go. He was so soft, comforting and calming, perfectly shaped for hugs and cuddles… someone died, right? Who cared? "Mmm... I like hugging you."

"I love being with you too, but really…" Even if he didn't want to, Gideon tried to pull away because setting the apartment on fire wasn't the best plan for a Friday night, but the other fox wouldn't give in. Since he didn't want to use the force, he tried a new strategy.

In a swift movement he tickled the base of Nick's tail and simultaneously pinched his butt with his two free fingers, and with his other paw the baker pulled the officer's head closer and carefully bit his neck, covering his fangs with his lips but applying enough strength as to bug him.

Or so he thought.

All he got was a fox pulling him even closer, squeezing his back and panting against his shoulder.

"God, Gideon, what was that for?"

Uh oh, doing that was definitely a mistake; his father just died, just because he didn't care when his own-

"Do that again and I'll cum."

Oh! Well, that's a shame; the baker already had an apology ready.

But at least now he knew his… could you call Charles his father-in-law? Anyway, it wouldn't be a topic they'd bring up much; intercalating his death with cum was… weird.

"…if you let me go I'll do it again… later?"

And he was free!

Alright, you could say it worked.

Nick followed him back to the kitchen/living-dining room. He sat down on one of the chairs and observed the younger fox; to him Gideon cooking was much more interesting than anything Mr. Big said.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah!" The former con artist replied in a tone not many would use after a relative's death, because aside from that, he liked what he had now.

He could get used to that life... his badge and its false sensation of respect were getting too heavy to carry anyway.

"Okay, this is almost ready."

And Gideon and his dinner wouldn't let him concentrate on anything else.

"Can you get the table ready?"

"Yes dad-! Da...d- darling!"

Alright.

"Darling?"

Alright, that happened, it slipped... let's not think too much about it. Charles's death was very recent and his mind was a little cloudy.

…

Would he ask **_daddy_** Gideon to rain on him again?

* * *

Dinner was sprinkled with a light conversation.

_"_ _Gid this is so good! God, I want you to fuck me with the eggplant next time!"_

_"_ _Please stop."_

Some jokes.

_"_ _You think you punched my dad so hard you killed him?!"_

_"_ _HAHAHAHAHaha… ha… hahgggg… aggggg… gggggg, aaaaaaa, gggggggggggg."_

_"…_ _are you okay?"_

_"_ _I almost choke on the garlic bread."_

And comments on the articles they had acquired.

_"_ _I just remembered; did we get any detergent?"_

_"_ _No, I don't think so. There wasn't any in any of the bags."_

_"_ _Damn… well, at least we got this… chocolate liqueur and relaxing bath salts and lotions."_

_"_ _You're not washing my clothes with that."_

Once they were done eating they cleaned up a bit and decided to try some of their new games, though Nick wanted to play with something else.

_"_ _I don't want to stretch it because, you know, you peed in my nose not too long ago, but are we going to rut like wild beasts? You really got me fired up."_

_"_ _Yeah, yeah… but if I put something else in my mouth right now I'll throw up, and I don't see any tents down there."_

_"…_ _my stomach and my penis can't work at the same time. But I don't regret it, your cooking is great."_

_"_ _And the two bags of garlic bread."_

_"_ _And the two bags of garlic bread… maybe were too much."_

_"_ _I still gotta bake-"_

_"_ _What? Sit down and relax? Yes, you gotta do that."_

Turns out none of them were too interested in the guys with spiky hair hitting each other or the soldiers shooting the overly-tentacled aliens. In the end they simply poured themselves some of that chocolate liqueur and cuddled on the couch, with Gideon in the role of the big spoon leaning against the side that reached the wall and Nick stretching out between his legs. They didn't even think about watching TV; they didn't know what was on, but they weren't interested anyway. They cared more about really spending some quality time together, even if none of them had anything to say.

But first they changed into their new dad-style pajamas; they probably wouldn't sleep in them, but they were comfy and also the perfect attire for lounging around. Gideon's was mint green and the jacket wouldn't close, and Nick's was apple green and two sizes too big. They could trade, sure, but they didn't want to; they were wearing outfits only gods can dream of.

"Gid, anything in the back of your mind not letting you relax? Still worried about something? You think I should've tipped the cashier?"

The addressed mammal hum-chuckled mid sip and shook his head, caressing the other's chest. "No... but I liked what she said about my hair, though." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "For the first time since I came here I can truly say I'm calm..." Nick tried to nuzzle the pudgy fox's exposed belly but his position wouldn't let him do it properly, so he settled for an awkward side kiss. "This must be what they call nirvana..."

It felt fantastic knowing Gideon was happy, but the way he talked when they were alone… even Judy thought he was more ignorant than he really was.

"Gid, don't take this the wrong way but... aren't you a little too smart to be a baker? I mean, uh... sometimes when I hear you speak... you sound like you really know what you're saying." And Nick's way to put it wasn't the best. Wasn't he the cunning and sly fox able to trick an elephant into thinking mice were heavier than them? "No, wait, uh..."

"Don't worry, I know what you mean. Once you take my accent and my apron away I don't look like a hick anymore, do I?"

Bingo.

"No! I mean... yes? I...-"

"This is weird for me too, you know? I can only... think, really think, and express like this when I'm comfortable."

Which clearly meant he was comfortable with Nick, but there was something else to it.

"Are you happy living in the burrows?"

Gideon had asked that question to himself too.

"...I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"It's... complicated; I am used to it, to its mammals...-"

"It's familiar to you."

"Exactly."

Nick knew what he meant, of course he did. At this point who cared about how they talked? It seemed like they'd understand each other no matter what.

"But is it good for you?"

They **_really_** did.

"You want me to quit being a baker?"

"No... unless you want to. But you know what I meant."

The plump vulpine sighed and the slender one took a sip of his drink.

"…would it be any better here?"

"I... hah, that's a hard question, but... yeah. At least you wouldn't have to be a silent genius anymore."

"A silent genius?"

"And I'd make it better for you."

"You don't have t-"

"I want to."

"Nick-"

The officer, tired of looking at his own foot-paws, turned around, carefully resting his head on Gideon's belly, and locked eyes with him. It made speaking a little harder, but he wanted to get his point across.

"I know what you've been through, and now that I can, I want to make your life better." The baker didn't stop him because the rumbling of his words in his chest was very comforting. "You deserve it. You could open your own business here, maybe work with bigger companies..."

Baking was okay, and cooking too. There's people who are able to learn certain skills faster than others, but that doesn't mean they enjoy doing what they learnt. For example, Gideon's dexterity in the kitchen? You guessed it: anger management... and his grandma's recipes. He zoned out for a moment and thought about what he really wanted to do, but at some point he had to go back to their conversation.

"(…) and then Gazelle could come to your third restaurant's grand opening-"

"No."

"No? You mean no to moving here with me, no to a bakery in Tundra-?"

"When you asked me if I wanted to be a psychologist I didn't get to answer... but no, even if I like psychology, I couldn't be a therapist."

"Wha-? Ohhhhhh! You don't have to be one. After all this is Zootopia, where you can be whatever you want."

"You're right... maybe I can try being a cop too…"

Nick could tell he was joking, probably to avoid answering his implicit question _'why don't you come live with me?'_ but just in case…

"I wouldn't recommend that. You'd shoot way less mammals than you think."

"Darn, then I guess I'll have to stick to my baked goods for now."

They shared a laugh and Gideon ruffled the other's ears; he loved this, having someone to talk to, to make light of problems.

"Speaking of sticky baked goods, you'd have to share a locker room with the rest of cops."

"...and?"

"You remember Clawhauser, the cheetah from the other day?" Gideon nodded. "He had a half-eaten donut stuck in his back fur."

The plump fox chuckled and took another sip of his beverage. But Judy had told him about Clawhauser; wasn't that something that happened regularly? "Well, that's another reason... getting nekkid around strangers isn't... my thing."

 _'_ _Well, I guess I won't take you to the nudist- did he say "nekkid"? God, Gideon Grey, you really are killing me here.' – "_ Good to know I'm not a stranger. But yeah, don't be a cop, everyone is always swinging their dicks and tits on my desk. Often at the same time."

The baker laughed again and let his free paw rest on the other's back, softly caressing what he knew was his injured area. "Silly fox..."

Nick loved it when he laughed, even more when it was him who caused his joy; he looked so innocent. Though his joke reminded Gideon of something. "Now that you brought that up... what about you? Will you quit the ZPD?"

The officer didn't hesitate…

"I'm 90% sure I will."

…much.

"And what will you do then?"

"I don't mean to brag but I'm kinda rich. I guess I'd spend my money wisely… and also time with you."

"Awww... you're moving to the Burrows with me?"

"...is that a new district?"

They let a moment pass by before guffawing in unison. To any third person watching them they'd look disgustingly saccharine sweet, but they didn't care; they were happy. Though if they really were to live together, where would they live…?

* * *

A few minutes later they both had emptied their glasses, and Nick went to pour some more. He doubted this chocolate liqueur could get them drunk, but it was sweeter than any milkshake he ever had; a good post-meal digestive.

"We almost look like real roommates." The slender fox said as he went back to his seat between the other's thighs and handed him his drink.

"Real roommates?"

"Yeah, like 'hey dude, let's grab a beer and watch the game and maybe suck each other off while we think about big boobs because we're not gay even though I love it when you jokingly grab my paw when we're lying on the couch.'"

Alright, maybe it got Nick a little tipsy. Perhaps because of his medication, though he hadn't been taking it as he was told.

But whatever he just said, Gideon loved it. He was giggling into his glass, stopping mid sip to ask him what that meant and to avoid choking.

"You know, real roommates..."

"But I do like holding your paw..." In fact, he reached from behind and enveloped the other's free one resting on his knee.

Nick had to resist the urge to jump on top of him and kiss him and squeeze him in order to finish his bit, but inside he was melting.

"No. No, no, stop, that;" He turned around to face the plump fox, for a moment he almost looked serious. "roommates can't be adorable."

Though he didn't free his paw from Gideon's.

"Now I'm adorable?"

"Well, obviously."

"And what are you?"

"I'm cool."

"You're cool?"

"Yeah, I'm the cool roommate."

"And does the cool roommate ever kiss the adorable one?"

"Oh, of cou- no, no, no; you sound gay, bro."

"Ugh... and you sound like my high school years."

And that's where their banter reached a soft spot.

"Huh?"

"Kids in your school were more... accepting?"

"You mean...? Uh, no, not exactly; before dropping out they beat up a guy I knew..."

"Whoa... because he was gay?"

"Yep... that's why I like to keep the whole gay thing on the down low."

"Oh, I know well what you mean..."

"I'm sorry I have-"

No, no, no, let's not go back down that road.

"Hey now! Didn't we say we wouldn't talk about sad stuff?"

"You're right! Okay..." The slender vulpine pretended to think for a moment during which a silly grin appeared on his face. Since they brought up their high school years, they acted a bit more juvenilely, though surely their familiarity and the liqueur played a role in that too. "how did you lose your virginity?!"

"With a fox that claims to be the cool roommate!"

"He sounds nice... and handsome, and smart... but is he just your roommate or...?"

Nick had to sit up; drinking while joking and laying on top of another fox was becoming a hard task. He decided that'd be his last drink for the night; he was already half dumb, and he didn't want to be full dumb when they finally got down to business.

"Mmm... good question; we do share a room, and we mated in it..."

"Oh hohoho! Alright, you're not the adorable one anymore; from now on you'll be the... naughty roommate."

"I'm naughty? That coming from Nick _"I want to ride your dick"_ Wilde?"

"Low blow, dude..."

"Well, yes; you got on your knees to suck-"

"That's it! I'm taming you!"

"Tam-"

"You're the wild roommate!"

"No, I'm Grey, you're Wil-"

At times Gideon was worse than Nick, but he knew how to stop such mayhem; the officer sloppily lunged at the plump vulpine, who almost spilled his beverage on the other fox. Their paws were still interlocked, and the slender mammal had the other pinned down on the couch; Nick had to take advantage of the situation. He began nibbling Gideon's neck the same way he did in the bedroom and tried to rub his belly with his free paw, but his position wouldn't let him.

Gideon wasn't resisting, in fact, he was getting into it, but given the situation all he could do was wink at Nick; either that or try to go for some knee action. Nick opened his eyes just to lock them with the other fox for a second. They both wanted this.

The slender fox had a new target: Gideon's lips, and right before going in for the kiss, he burped.

Turns out they were still digesting dinner.

Needless to say, Nick killed the mood; Gideon was roaring with laughter and he was incredibly embarrassed. The baker reassured him it didn't matter, he wasn't angry or disgusted, and he knew it was an accident.

But all this, the alcohol, the accident… reminded Nick of a story he told Judy after coming out to her. He liked making Gideon laugh, after all…

"Gid, you wanna laugh for real?"

* * *

_"_ _Have you ever seen a straight guy act like..." Nick gestured at his whole self before looking back at Judy with an_ _**'I can't believe I really surprised you'** _ _face before ending his sentence with a resound "this?"_

_"_ _You're kind of an asshole, so yeah."_

_"_ _Oh wow, I didn't know rabbits could be bitches."_

_"_ _Oh my, and I didn't know foxes could be pussies."_

_And as you can imagine, both were a little tipsy and, of course, kidding._

_They shared a loud guffaw after a pause and went back to their spots on Nick's couch._

_"_ _So all this time you've been fooling around with me you didn't... you know, feel anything?"_

_"_ _Fooling around? Cottontail, don't tell me you've been thinking I was into you..."_

_"_ _I mean... maybe... a little...?"_

_For once Nick didn't know if he should make a joke or tell the truth. Maybe she did feel something for him? He didn't want to hurt her…_

_"_ _No I... I think you're cut-uuuuu- -quite attractive?"_

_"_ _Thanks."_

_However, one can only be so considerate when one's inebriated._

_"_ _But no, I wouldn't fuck you. I mean, look at you!"_

_"_ _What? What's wrong with me?"_

_"_ _I've seen how rabbits' dicks are, I'd break you in half!"_

_"_ _Nick what the h-"_

_"_ _And besides, you're too energetic: 'let's fight crime! Let's run 60000 miles! Let's rut till death!'"_

_"_ _Wow. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, there's another fox interested in yours truly, and he's-"_

_"_ _Please don't tell me you're talking about the baker."_

_He got her._

_"_ _...maybe."_

_"_ _If you want my opinion,"_

_"_ _I don't-"_

_"_ _He's like, compensating for what he did to you in that country fair or whatever."_

_"_ _You don't even know him!"_

_"_ _Yeah but I kinda do that too."_

_"_ _That doesn't-"_

_"_ _Look, there was this time Finn and I had to spend the night in Tundra Town. We were out of fuel, a/c didn't work, and after using my unparalleled eloquence we ended up sleeping on the same mattress... you know, body heat."_

_"_ _Nick, where is this goi-"_

_"_ _So, I'm not a biologist, but I have a hypothesis: if you go more than three days without pawing off, your dick does whatever it wants."_

_"_ _WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"_

_Nick put a finger on her lips and made her stop talking with a loud hiss._

_"_ _Okay so, I was having this dream... something about toilets, and all of a sudden BAM, I wake up and I was covered in my own cum."_

_But the rabbit slapped his hand away, only to be interrupted again._

_"_ _NICK WHAT THE F-"_

_"_ _It doesn't end there: turns out I was hugging Finn, and I sleep in my undies."_

_"_ _PLEASE STOP."_

_"_ _And after years of using the same pairs the rubber band was like smoking paper, so my dick had no problem escaping them."_

_"_ _I DON'T WANT TO KNO-"_

_"_ _I look at him and there was cum in his ears! Can you believe it? Like, okay, he's small, has big ears, but it's still impressive!"_

_"_ _I'M PRETTY SURE THIS COUNTS AS SEXUAL HARASSMENT."_

_"_ _We're not at work, shut up. So, I tried to clean it off, but you know how fur is."_

_"_ _WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?"_

_"_ _The point is, I'm still trying to compensate him for that. I'm gonna pay for the pro-production of his mixtape for his birthday; his raps are awful, but it's nice to have dreams."_

_"_ _...so what you're telling me is that Gideon shows so much interest in me because he feels guilty...?"_

_"_ _Yeah, probably."_

_"_ _Not because he likes me?"_

_"_ _I dunno, maybe? Like, I don't know him, but I bet he'd break you in half too."_

_"_ _So... all those times he made stuff for me, all the "how's bein' a cop?", the pies..."_

_"_ _He's just cleaning the cum in your ears, Carrots."_

Gideon couldn't stop laughing. That had to be the worst story within a story he ever had the pleasure to hear. "NICK! OH MY GOODNESS!" His jaw was starting to hurt, and his belly rumbled so hard Nick could feel it without touching it.

"I don't remember much more… I think then she asked me if I liked anyone, and then I said something that made her yell more…"

The baker was still trying to calm down, but every few seconds he muttered _'cum in your ears'_ and he started laughing again, and that sound was music to Nick's (clean) ears.

"Hey, it's a perfect comparison. But turns out you're actually a nice guy and you worry about her and yadda yadda..."

"Okay, okay..." Finally his uncontrollable fit of laughter seemed to be coming to an end, excusing tiny aftershocks in the form of giggles that escaped his throat from time to time. "You're right, but… am I really a nice guy?"

There was a touch of something in Gideon's voice when he asked that. Nick couldn't see his face because, after burping, he put himself in time out and sat away from the baker. But embarrassment had faded away, and he could tell what the plump fox was going for. He sat up with a smirk on his face.

"Don't tell me the guy who was too scared to fuck me is trying to look menacing."

"I... Nick..."

Uh oh, doing that was definitely a mistake; just because the former con artist had no issues referring to anything sex related didn't mean it didn't affect Gideon. He took it too far.

"Gid, sorry... I didn't mean to-"

"Maybe I didn't want to break you in half!" The baker looked so confident saying that, so proud, almost laughing at him. Yeah, he could take it farther.

_'…_ _I think I'm a bad influence.'_

Nick's previous smirk found its way back on his face. "Is that so?"

His tone was daring yet sultry, their eyes defiant and focused on their prey.

"Yeah!"

They knew what was coming next.

"It's on, baker boy! But this time, let's do it right."

"No burps this time?"

Nick crawled on the couch until his snout met his partner's, his smirk unfaltering and his pupils captivating the other fox. "No burps." He placed a quick peck on Gideon's lips to prove his point. "I'll fill the tub, add some bath salts, give you a massage…"

"And what will I do?"

"Show me if you really can break me in half."

Before the plump vulpine could react, Nick's mouth was against his and his tongue paid a visit that didn't last enough. He wanted more, so much more, but the former con artist's plan sounded too appealing… he'd have to keep it in his sheath for some more time.

"Will you ask me to pee on you again?"

"Maybe." One last kiss set the start time of the short period they'd be apart. "I'll go get everything ready, you wait here and come when I tell you."

"I don't know if I can last that much…"

* * *

"Alright Gid, you can-"

Nick couldn't finish his sentence when the door to his bathroom opened abruptly, revealing a completely nude Gideon behind it.

"-come in."

The slender fox took a good look at the figure in front of him: the baker didn't appear to be as nervous as he was the first time but still, even naked and sporting a throbbing erection with a drop of precum falling from his tip, there was a tinge of shyness to his whole self. He was hiding his fidgety fingers behind his back, and keeping his eyes on Nick was a hard task; he liked what he saw, but did Nick like what he was seeing?

The smile on his muzzle said it all.

"You've been playing with yourself?" Nick playfully asked. He already knew the answer, and it did no good to his attempt at keeping his cool. If it were for him, he would've jumped out of the bathtub and shoved Gideon's dick in his mouth until it tore his throat, but as he said he wanted to do this right.

"A little…" He had been close to cumming three times before crossing that door, and it was a good thing that Nick couldn't smell it because of the vanilla bath salts invading his sense of smell; he'd have teleported back to his couch, and white stains stand out on black fabric.

Gideon craved this; the first time he enjoyed it, but to him it was something akin to an obligation. That afternoon something changed, and he wasn't wondering if doing this was a mistake anymore. Now he **_knew_** he loved Nick and that Nick loved him too. He wanted to prove it, to enjoy himself, to enjoy Nick.

"Such a naughty boy…" The fox already in water gestured to Gideon to get in the tub with him. Keeping his paws away from the pudgy vulpine while he did so was something he couldn't believe was able to do.

Gideon turned around and carefully stepped on the ceramic, accidentally greeting Nick's muzzle with his rump. Maybe he didn't want to touch him just yet, but a quick kiss on his cheeks wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Is the water good?" Now that Nick had him between his legs, he was free to do as he pleased. He didn't have to rush anything, though his sheath couldn't resist anymore and now his dick was exposed, just like Gideon's. The baker couldn't see it, but he could surely feel it against his lower back

"It's perfect." At first the pudgy fox feared hurting Nick; he'd rather be the big spoon once again. But when the officer pulled him closer and started rubbing his shoulders, he forgot everything he had ever learnt. The was something brushing the base of his tail, a shallow breath against his neck, and eight fingers made of ambrosia taking away years of stress and kneading.

Nick didn't have much experience giving massages; he tried to steal customers from the naturist club once, but turns out you can't outdo a place that offers something called "The nut swamp". He was improvising and so far, if Gideon's limp body and throaty moans were any indication, he wasn't doing too badly.

"You like it?" Nick whispered in the baker's ear. His only answer was a long nod for the officer's paw pads took away his ability to speak.

Suddenly, Nick's paws were on Gideon's chest. This made the pudgy fox react just slightly, throwing his head back. The same fingers that were relieving the tension in his muscles a second ago were now squeezing his tits and pulling him closer to the other vulpine.

When Gideon tried to turn his head to face Nick, the slender fox locked his neck in place with his fangs. Just like they had done before that same night, Nick was biting him. This time, however, he wasn't protecting his prey with his lips; his teeth were directly in contact with Gideon, though he wasn't applying any pressure; he was using his canines to expose the skin underneath the fur and lick it.

It'd take many adjectives to describe what the baker was feeling: excitement, trepidation, arousal, eagerness… and a tiny bit of fear. A kind of fear he didn't know he could ever get to like. His breath had become erratic and millions of stimuli-provoked volts turned his body into a vessel for sensations. His eyes were watering and he couldn't close his mouth; he wanted more, _more_ , **_more_**.

Given their position, all he could do was reaching for Nick's feet in such desperate way that it startled the ticklish fox right when his paws touched Gideon's belly.

And because of that unexpected contact, his fangs broke the baker's skin.

It was barely a scrape, but Nick stopped what he was doing; he had hurt Gideon, he could taste blood on his tongue, and all he could hear was a minuscule whimper among pants. Right before he could pull away and apologize, Gideon's paws grabbed his muzzle with enough strength as to keep his teeth in place, and he could see the plump vulpine's left eye from behind as he, once again, tried to face him.

"Don't you fucking dare to stop now."

It was a husky and aggressive hushed yell, and even if it seemed like he was ordering Nick, he was actually pleading.

The officer was the surprised and impressed one now, but he had no time to be shocked; he obliged right away.

Both closed their eyes for they couldn't see what they wanted and there wasn't anything else they wanted to see but each other.

All they did was feeling.

Nick's paws on Gideon's dick and balls, Gideon's fingers pulling Nick's head closer; Nick's paws on every inch of Gideon he could touch, Gideon's body desperately trying to meet Nick.

They didn't need to say a word to agree that the bathtub had gotten too small for their desires.

Their bodies met the uncovered mattress in the adjacent room, and at this point it was impossible to tell if they were wet with water, sweat, or as many call it, anticipation. But now they were free to do as they pleased; they touched each other, driven by the hunger they had awakened. Who knows if it was lust, or aggressive romance, or their instincts making them show how much they wanted each other, or fearing they lose the other, or themselves.

Kisses, bites, caresses, shoves, fondles, tugs… belligerence and love fighting on a bed over who pleased the other more. However, in this war, there were no losers.

"Turn around." Nick commanded Gideon in a voice he used only when dealing with perpetrators. The baker obliged without hesitation, laying on his stomach and letting his rear exposed to the other fox.

Before he had a second to calm down and think about whatever was going to happen, Nick's paws separated his cheeks and he felt. He just felt.

Nick's tongue visited the plump fox's puckered hole, and an indescribable sensation took over him. Pleasure, pure pleasure coming from the other's mouth and paws; everything tickled and made him shiver, and Gideon loved it.

A cold nose brushing constantly against the base of his tail, velvet paw pads massaging his cream colored sack, a stream of precum mixing itself with the dampness of his body and the mattress, moans and grunts escaping their throats against their wills… he was floating on a cloud; unable to keep his dulled claws from scratching the fabric beneath his body, trying to grasp something while his scrotum tightened in Nick's left paw and his leaking dick began spasming.

He wouldn't fight it; no jaw clenching, no attempting to delay it… fuck, he never imagined something like that would ever happen to him. Gideon let himself go, letting out a series of grunts that grew in volume and intensity as he edged closer and closer to the grand finale, and right when he was about to scream out of ecstasy and delight and shoot his load, Nick's mouth abandoned his anus and bit his right ass cheek.

It was marvelous.

Pain and pleasure gave birth to the loudest orgasm Nick's neighbors ever heard, and Gideon completely lost control over his body; his entire being was shaking, his face displayed something between a dumb smile and a worried expression, and before he ceased staining the mattress and his fur with stream after stream of warm, thick cum and he came down from his serotonin high, his brain could focus on one thing only: Nick.

He quickly turned around and sat up, accidentally sending his last discharge onto Nick's chin. He grabbed the slender fox by his sides and in a great display of strength he lifted him up, not worrying at the time about his injured ribs. He brought his entire figure towards him, his focus set on the red, wet meat rod throbbing and aiming at his face.

Nick wasn't far from cumming either, he was edging too during their rowdy match, but what Gideon just did; his force, having his taste on his lips, his gruff voice muttering Nick's name right after he came… he was _his_ male, **_his mate_** ; he felt safe, he felt desired, he felt smaller compared to his younger counterpart, and his entire body loved it. The slender fox was a hair's breadth away from climaxing, and when the baker's tongue made contact with the tip of his dick, it was impossible to stop.

His orgasm was quieter but not any less pleasant; he emptied his balls in Gideon's mouth, who wouldn't let a single drop go to waste, and his lungs pronouncing the pudgy fox's name against his forearm. It even made his eyes water. God, it was incredible what this innocent, apologetic baker was able to do.

Nick wanted to feel him closer, but the only thing he could do was squeezing the younger vulpine's paw against his waist, which the baker understood as a sign to let him go after the streams of semen in his mouth ceased.

Once Gideon finally put him down, Nick kneeled on the mattress and began licking the other's semen off his fur. The plump vulpine, once again in his senses, delicately lifted the slender fox's chin indicating him to stop. Nick was doing it because he wanted to, but any contact with Gideon was satisfying.

"You taste like vanilla." Nick joked raising his head, though there was a tinge of it from the bath salts.

He leaned on the younger's chest and fabricated a trail of kisses that eventually reached his mouth, where both of their essences mixed with their saliva. This one was shorter than any of the previous ones during their session; a kiss of closure if you may, followed by a look into each other's half-lidded eyes, where they found what they were looking for: contentment, tenderness, and passion.

_'_ _Are you okay?'_

_'_ _Yeah.'_

_'_ _Did you like it?'_

_'_ _Of course.'_

But they had no time to rest; Nick saw that Gideon was still hard, and there was a brand new bottle of lube burning in his night stand along with two packs of ultra-thin condoms, one regular size and another one extra-large. It's true that Gideon's dick was longer and wider than his, but only by half an inch; and he had a bigger knot, which made their actually usable length pretty much the same. But he just wanted to make sure they were okay for Gideon.

"I'll go grab a towel, don't want you catching a cold now."

"Maybe we should've been more careful…"

The plump fox wasn't wrong; the exposed mattress was completely damp, but it'd have been impossible to stop to dry themselves when they were driven by what they felt.

* * *

Eventually, they laid out the biggest towel Nick found on the mattress, and round two began. This time it was more delicate, softer, tenderer; their lips and tongues had a bigger role than their teeth, and when they touched they just wanted to feel the other's body. Now, instead of being driven by raw emotion, they had a goal; they were still experimenting being together.

Gideon tried sucking Nick off again but the other fox wouldn't let him work alone, so the sixty nine became the position of their choosing, with Nick on top.

"Remember; teeth away and tongue movement is important." Nick acted of something akin to a teacher; after all, he had more experience than the baker.

"I'll just follow your lead." And at first, that's what Gideon did; he tried to bob his head, lick the most sensitive parts, and massage Nick's balls and caress his knot just like his counterpart did. However, after a while he was unable to keep up with the other's technique, so he decided to try his own method; he grabbed Nick's cheeks and pulled his pelvis towards him, shoving his dick in his mouth until the protuberance at the base hit the baker's lips.

"Whoa there, watch-" This sent Nick off balance, his muzzle now having access to only the wet tip of the other.

But Gideon kept going; he opened his mouth some more and was able to put the whole thing inside. Nick's knot brushed against his jowls, and the pudgy fox's fangs were dangerously close to such tender flesh; the former con artist liked danger, and when the other started closing and opening his throat as if he were swallowing, he liked this even more. His cock was being suckled along with Gideon's saliva, his tip enclosed by the soft skin that joined and separated, and the baker's tongue took care of stimulating the rest of his length.

Nick was really getting into this throatjob, but after a minute Gideon had to stop.

"'Ick, ga 'aw 'ur's"

His jaw hurt.

"It's okay Gid, can you put it out?"

"'E'h."

Slowly, Gideon used his fingers to separate his lips and carefully pull out Nick's erection. He didn't mind it that much, there were many other things they could do; however, Nick would have to admit that he had him worried for a moment, but also impressed.

"Don't you have gag reflexes, Gid?" Nick playfully asked as he turned around and put himself on top of Gideon again, looking at his ridiculously cute face.

"I… have some training…" He admitted a little embarrassed while massaging his jawbone. He was lonely, and had Internet connection, and he dreamed of doing what he had seen on his favorite videos… after some time, he developed his own tricks, though he never had the chance to try them out.

"Is that so?" Nick's tone gave away what he was thinking; it wasn't hard to figure out what kind of "training" Gideon had. The Hopps grew carrots, didn't they? He wasn't judging, though; lord knows he _liked_ his veggies from time to time too.

The slender fox leaned closer and placed a wet kiss that really was more of a long lick on his left cheek before whispering "Me too."

Before anyone could ask what was going on, Nick's tongue was paying another visit to Gideon's mouth, although this one didn't last long just in case the baker had actually hurt his jaw. But he also enjoyed licking him; when Nick's mouth reached Gideon's neck the pudgy vulpine started giggling, and there wasn't a sound he liked more.

They fooled around for some time licking each other, kissing every inch of the other they hadn't kissed yet, and overall keeping their bodies so close they looked like a huge ball of fur with two flailing tails. They were comfortable with each other, and finally Nick took hold of Gideon's paws running up and down his back and placed them on his ass. They were just delaying the inevitable.

"Are you ready, Gid?" He wanted this. Maybe Nick wanted it because, subconsciously, he saw some relation between the father figure Gideon represented and the submissive behavior usually attached to bottoms... or maybe he just thought he'd enjoy it, hell if I know.

"Are you?" This time Gideon felt ready to do it, or at least he wasn't as insecure as the first time.

"You said you'd break me in half…" Nick knew he wouldn't hurt him… unless he asked him to, probably. But even then, he'd be hesitant; for example, soon after leaving the tub, Nick asked him to bite his balls, but not a single tooth even touched his scrotum.

"I'll try not to." Gideon wanted to please him, and he knew he'd enjoy it too. He'd just have to avoid forcing his feet in there and they'd be okay.

Nick quickly grabbed the lube and the two packs of condoms from his night stand and placed them on the mattress, right before Gideon.

"Extra-large? Gosh, I feel flattered." The plump fox half joked examining the box. "These would fit on my tail, maybe."

"Let's try first with the one on the front, and then we'll see." Nick bantered back, grabbing the bottle of lube and popping the cap off. "I picked strawberry this time, hope you like it."

" _You_ picked it?" Gideon wasn't really surprised; he saw these standing out in one of the bags he carried, but he thought the guy Nick paid grabbed them.

"Remember the possum with the bra?" The slender vulpine asked, scooting closer to the other's incredulous face and grabbing his half hard dick.

"Yes." All the baker could see now were two green orbs peeking into his thoughts.

"Then." And Nick took advantage of their distance, or lack thereof, and kissed Gideon's muzzle once again. He was addicted to it.

He applied a spurt of lube to Gideon's knot and spread it over his entire length, rapidly making it stand stiff again, all the while observing the pudgy fox's wide range of facial expressions; he was already panting with his tongue sticking out!

"Well? Do you like it?" Nick asked calmly, already knowing the answer; and Gideon, also knowing what Nick was doing, just replied with a half smirk biting his lower lip trying to keep his mouth shut. That face was enough to make Nick's cock go full mast again.

After two more strokes, the slender vulpine freed him and handed him the bottle of lube before laying on his back; the towel was getting cold, which made his spine jerk as soon as his skin reached the fabric, but he'd survive.

"You know what to do, Gid?"

"First one finger?"

"You got this."

It seemed like he did; he got on his knees and Nick lifted his legs using his paws as support and also to spread his cheeks, exposing his hole to Gideon. For a moment, the idea of imitating Nick and eating him out crossed the baker's mind, but his jaw was actually sore and his tongue was wider than Nick's, although he tried kissing it. The former con artist didn't look like he hated it; now it was him who was biting his lip. After seeing his reaction, Gideon leaned in and placed some more pecks on Nick's hole and cheeks, eliciting a hushed "fuck" from the slender fox. _'He was right, it tastes like vanilla.'_

"Are you teasing me?" Nick raised his head to find Gideon licking his lips.

"Maybe…"

Oh, he was.

_'_ _Did he learn that from me?'_

Eventually, the baker behaved and stuck to the plan; first, he coated the middle finger on his right hand with a generous amount of lube, and then he proceeded to do the same on Nick's puckered hole.

After doing so, he started; as slowly as he possibly could, he inserted his shiniest digit into Nick's cavity. Gideon tried to be careful, avoiding moving too much so he wouldn't hurt the officer.

"That wasn't that hard, was it?" The former con artist asked, his tone sounding smug because of the eagerness he was hiding. "Now go nuts and stop if you see blood." Gideon couldn't see it, but something told him Nick was grinning.

**_He wanted this._ **

And if Nick could have fun, he could have fun too.

This time he wouldn't imitate him; he'd imitate the actors he was used to watch… to a reasonable point, obviously.

He squirted a nice amount of cold lube all over Nick's dick and balls provoking a short yelp to leave his throat, and with his now free paw, he spread it as evenly as he felt like. His finger hadn't moved yet, but Nick was already squirming under his touch, and Gideon loved it. He leaned in once again, this time to suckle on the officer's soft and slippery scrotum while his left paw pads began dancing on his erection.

And right when Nick was about to tell him something, the finger inside him started drawing circles, turning whatever he was going to say into a loud "Fuck!" that depleted the air in his lungs.

And Gideon was smirking once again.

"Wouldn't you rather play with yourself?" Nick asked between pants, overcome with stimuli. He wanted a break; wasn't the other fox supposed to be reluctant and sloppy?

Gideon couldn't reply verbally; his mouth was full, so he spelled out the word "no" on Nick's lower belly, accidentally tickling him and making him pronounce a light but long and high pitched "ahhh" before the baker's left paw resumed his activity on the other's dick, really pleased with himself.

Nick felt like he was dying and he absolutely adored it. Gideon's finger was picking up speed and dilating the only relaxed part of his body, hitting one specific spot every time the baker's phalange twirled, and his tongue was savoring more of Nick along with a decently emulated strawberry flavor.

Gideon wanted more too; Nick's warmth was delightful, but just one digit wasn't doing much for him. In fact, he expected him to be tighter; not that he was disappointed in any way, but his finger didn't find much resistance moving around.

He tried changing his motion, switching from drawing circles to finger-fucking the slender fox; Gideon heard no complains. It was a little better, but he needed some too; he freed Nick's dick and sack and sat up wanting to alleviate himself a little. He was too horny to jerk off and stop before cumming, and since he didn't want to ruin the experience, he had to settle for rubbing his knot with his thumb the same way he was fingering Nick. The nervous system is such a complex machine.

In fact, this allowed Nick to gain control of his body again; he had been drooling and twitching for a few seconds before Gideon's mouth left his scrotum. Now only his dick was leaking, and he could muster enough strength as to grab the pack of regular sized condoms and throw it the baker's way, whose eyes lit up when it hit his chest.

His finger abandoned Nick's hole a little abruptly and his two paws reached for the officer's chest to ask him something, but Nick had been feeling what the other was doing; he knew what he was going to ask and he had his answer ready.

"If you don't fuck me right now I'll shit on your chest."

Mostly ready.

In other instances Gideon would have refused because he wouldn't be dilated enough, but the plump fox understood his point perfectly and was sure his body was ready; and while he was opening the box and trying to put one of those almost invisible rubbers on, they had another quick and eager exchange.

"Didn't you say you were a virgin?"

"I am."

Gideon struggled to open the condom he had now in his paw, but he seemed to know what he was doing.

"Fuck that; you had me braindead for a full minute!"

He held his length straight and rolled the prophylactic down; he needed a couple of tries due to his excitement and the lube, but it reached his knot effortlessly.

"I read something about prostate massages some time ago and-"

A couple of strokes to make sure it wouldn't move, and he was on his knees behind Nick again.

"See?! I told you, you're a genius! How could you-?"

Finally, one last layer of lube on both his dick and Nick's hole, whose owner quieted down when the baker's thumb rubbed against it.

"And I've been practicing with myself for years, but what I'm about to do is new."

And he hoped he was doing well.

What Nick didn't know was that Gideon was compensating for his lack of experience with trust and familiarity; he was doing this, mostly, for him. Of course, he enjoyed it too, but unlike their first time he felt little to no fear. He wouldn't hurt him and both wanted it; the only thing they could lose was a virginity or two.

The apparently not so innocent fox was more than ready; now he was the one lifting Nick's legs over his shoulders while the slender fox kept his buttocks separated and guided the condom-clad cock until the tip was caressing his hole.

"Are you rea-"

"My body is yours!"

He had been practicing for years too; he was ready for the real thing.

Gideon leaned in until his face was inches away from Nick's and his arms surrounded his head, arching his back so he could hold most of his weight on his torso and let the rest fall on his legs. He tried to insert himself slowly, but Nick wouldn't let him; he was tugging at his dick because he wanted, no, _needed_ Gideon inside him. His eyes were defiant, screaming _'what are you waiting for?!'_ at the fox that, finally, gave in and obeyed.

Gideon advanced and pressed against Nick's hole, not finding much resistance at first; Nick was making it easier for him. He continued slowly, instinctively looking down trying to see how he was doing, but all he found was the slender fox's thighs and his stiff cock pointing at him.

Nick was running out of patience; he was pulling at Gideon's cheeks trying to get him in faster. When the baker lifted his head he found his mate baring his fangs in desperation, and his eyes had changed from daring to pleading.

All it took was Nick to mouth "come on already."

He'd have it his way.

Gideon let his weight fall, and half of his dick practically slipped into the officer's ass. He loved everything he was feeling, but at the moment all that was going through his mind was _'I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!'_

Then he pushed once again, and his wider half also found the tightness and warmness Nick had to offer.

The former con artist closed his eyes and clenched his jaw until he felt Gideon's knot hitting against his buttocks; it wasn't really painful, but the pressure he felt was incredible. The baker's girth seemed to multiply when entering him, but above everything else, Gideon was finally inside him. Physically it could be a feat, sure, and it'd be worse if his dick were longer than five or six inches; but to Nick it meant so much more.

The slender vulpine felt small, delicate, trapped by a bigger predator, holding in Gideon's hands; but he also felt full, satisfied in a way perhaps only he could understand, secure and connected to the fox that asked if everything was okay as soon as he got his common sense back.

"Yeah, just give me a moment."

Nick needed to get used to the not so familiar sensation. When he opened his eyes again, he found his Gideon there; inside him, sweating, with a drop of saliva being pushed by his light panting and about to fall from his half exposed tongue on Nick's nose, but still as innocent as ever.

"What do I do now?"

If it were for Gideon, he could stay like that forever; being with Nick was so comforting, so satisfying, so pleasant… but being inside him was even better. The sensation was indescribable, like that one spring day when everything seems to go in your favor, like when you know you've done something right and you were the only one able to do it. "Fulfilled" or "accomplished" would be nothing but shadows of what he was feeling.

"Now… you do me."

A soft smile decorated Nick's muzzle, and an instant after Gideon's was mimicking him.

The baker did what he believed was right and began moving. His hips weren't used to that motion, but the missionary position made it easier; he just had to go up and down, right?

The moment Gideon's dick threatened to leave Nick, the officer held to his back as if he were going to lose Gideon himself. The plump fox didn't complain; he didn't consider him to be heavy.

"Gid… don't put it out."

"Wh-"

"Keep pushing."

"Keep… do you want me to… to knot you?"

Nick had thought about it, but it'd be better if he didn't; he knew they'd end up in the hospital if he did. The former con artist shook his head before raising it, meeting Gideon's nose with his and not thinking before saying "fuck me like a rabbit."

It wasn't a fetish; what he meant by that is that the pudgy fox's dick was a perfect fit. Whatever he had between his legs was rubbing directly against his prostate.

Gideon didn't make any more questions; whether he understood what he meant or not he obliged. He couldn't go any deeper and his movements were restrained, so he resorted to the only thing that could give him a push; he tightened his legs and his ass cheeks and began to sloppily bounce on his knees, shaking both his and Nick's bodies along with the mattress every time he jolted.

Nick's was a buildup that started the moment Gideon kissed him when he laid the towel out.

He wouldn't show it, but at first he was nervous as well; now the anxiousness that engulfed him had faded away, and only Gideon was left: what he felt for him, what he made him feel, the stimuli he provoked, his actions, his body…

And he had to exteriorize that somehow.

His face collided with his mate's in a bite-kiss that caught the baker off guard, his entire self was being assaulted by delightful and overwhelming sensations, his prostate pleasantly stabbed by Gideon, his eyes watering, his throat producing sounds unknown to the entire world; if he could talk his speech would be something like "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, god don't you fuckin' dare to stop Gideon god, god, fuck" mixed with cries and whimpers, his paws desperately grabbing the one he never lost…

Nick went blind and deaf.

And he was cumming. He had been since Gideon began finger-fucking him.

He knew himself well and he knew he'd enjoy having the baker playing with his insides, but it was the first time he melted into a puddle of fur and fluids. It was impossible to tell if what covered him was saliva, sweat, lube, or the steady stream of precum that had been leaking since the moment Gideon reached his G spot.

Seeing that belly and those tits jiggling on top of him, the disheveled fur brushing against his own, feeling Gideon's balls hitting against his ass… god, he was fucking him!

Nick had to break the union of their mouths; he needed to breathe air, the pudgy fox's hot breath was addictive but his body required oxygen too.

"Nick…" Gideon whispered the moment he got his tongue back, his voice strained due to his constant movement.

The addressed mammal lifted his upper half up using the other vulpine as support, bringing him closer and meeting one his broader and meatier shoulders with his muzzle.

"Nick, I'm clos-"

But the baker's warning was sidelined by the officer's loud "fuck!"

He was cumming.

Now it was semen gushing from his dickhole, but it didn't feel like an orgasm; his entire body felt like it was about to explode, as if his skin was trapping something that desperately tried to break free. The way it affected him was different from a regular climax; usually they didn't make him cry and deform his expression until he looked like he was being tortured.

"Nick, I-"

Gideon's husky murmur was once again interrupted by Nick's whimpers.

"Cum on my dick… please… please Gideon… cum on my dick…"

Though the way he talked almost worried the baker.

"Am… am I hurting yo-"

But no, he wasn't hurting him. Nick wanted to cum, to really reach the zenith Gideon kept poking at.

What he didn't know was that the younger fox himself had been avoiding to ejaculate since he began fucking Nick; the stimuli were intense, and if he had let himself go he'd have come the moment his knot reached the officer's cheeks, but he decided against it because this was for Nick, not for him.

However, now he was free to do as he pleased.

Gideon freed the slender vulpine's legs and pulled his already sore erection out, making Nick gasp when the thick cock abandoned his insides and the cold air kissed his hole. The baker leant back, quickly removing the condom soaked in lube and precum that practically slipped off his dick and grabbing both his and Nick's slippery lengths, stroking them aggressively. God, he needed to cum quick too.

The officer's paws wrapped the one jerking him off in a desperate attempt to recover control over his orgasm, but it was pointless; Gideon was stronger than him, and it was too late.

This time the roles switched; Nick's final climax was accompanied by a guttural scream that resembled that of an injured horse, though his ejaculation didn't match. It was normal given his previous orgasm and the duration of this one, but the colophon wasn't disappointing. He felt free, light, reborn, ascended… engulfed in bliss, joy and amazement, but also incredibly exhausted. He wasn't in Zootopia anymore; he was visiting the land of passion and hedonism, and absolutely nothing in the world mattered to him.

Gideon's on the other hand was more hushed, letting a long grunt-sigh escape through his clenched teeth, though what he felt was similar in every respect. He soaked even more the already damp officer's trunk with his scarce but dense seed, almost missing the target Nick pointed out for him except for his last two shorter spurts, but enjoying both the view and himself. Fuck, he should have come sooner to the big city.

The panting baker caught Nick's voice asking, probably to himself, something along the lines of "why don't we do this more often", to which he replied "because you got hit by a car."

_"_ _We gotta work on our stamina…"_

* * *

Once titillation vanished only tenderness was left, giving way to an afterglow starring a delighted Nick resting on top of a content Gideon petting the back of his neck-kissing mate.

"At least we didn't stain the sheets this time."

"But now we have to wash this towel, and probably the mattress."

"And ourselves… but give me five more minutes."

"It's okay, you can skip school today."

After a moment of comfortable silence during which they just enjoyed the company of the other, Gideon came up with a curious question.

"Hey Nick, I've been wondering... how would you con me?"

"What?"

"I mean... you used to do that, and I've seen the guitar case so you couldn't be too bad... how would you-?"

Nick didn't let the other finish, he already had his answer ready.

"I'd pretend to be homeless. Full rag-wearing homeless, not 'I live in a van' homeless."

"You think that'd work?"

Gideon doubted the slender fox could get anything out of him besides some spare change if he did that. Maybe he'd play along? Maybe not knowing any other foxes would make him and his curiosity go for broke?

"You're compassionate... I'd say I haven't eaten anything in a week, I'd show you my best kit eyes, and I'd work from there."

Okay, he'd probably take the bait in that case. If it's his Nick we're talking about…

"I'd give you something to eat, maybe have you over so you could shower..."

But Nick wasn't done.

"Okay then; you'd take me to your place, and after a hot shower I'd walk out wearing nothing but a smile, wet and showing you the goodies, maybe casually touching my sheath."

"Casually?"

"Yeah… sometimes water gets in there… anyway, I'd be like 'oh, I'm sorry, I don't have anything to wear,' and by then you'd have already taken the hint."

"You think so? I'm bad with those. Judy's mom told me this sheep liked me and I don't-"

"Was that sheep female, by any chance?"

"Yeah?"

"That was the problem." If the baker wasn't interested in her in the first place he'd probably think she wouldn't have any interest in him either. "Finally I'd walk closer to you and I'd ask you 'what should I do now?' I'd look into your eyes hoping you were taking your pants off and not because you wanted me to wear them, slowly I'd put my paws on your cheeks-"

After Gideon's most recent experience, he needed to know which ones.

"The ones on my face or…?"

That made Nick smirk. _'Not so innocent now, huh?'_

"Whichever you choose. And, to top it all off, I'd give you the kiss of your life… and I'd eat your cake. You think that'd work?"

"...I hate to say you'd have the deed to my business."

"Aw... but I wouldn't be doing it just because of that. I don't touch anyone I don't like."

"You mean... sex?"

_'_ _Still innocent whatsoever.'_

"Yes Gid, sex."

Oh. That was good… great to hear. Not that he thought Nick was some kind of whore, but it was clear he had more experience than him…

Which lead the baker to formulate a new question; one a bit more serious this time.

"Say… had you... done this many times before?"

"Sex?"

Gideon nodded. Was Nick playing dumb or was he getting influenced by the pudgy vulpine's naiveté as well?

"Not really... if I have to be honest," the officer's head was resting on the other fox's chest and he had his eyes closed, but he could tell he had Gideon's full attention. Nick wasn't really ashamed, however he felt the younger mammal had him on a pedestal for something he really wasn't and he wanted to step off of it. After a very long second he put an end to his pause and the suspense it created with a sigh and finished his sentence. "I was half a virgin until tonight."

"Half a virgin?"

"Blowjobs and pawjobs were the furthest I had ever gone." Something told him Gideon was surprised, more than probably in a pleasant way, but since he was coming clean… "With a total of six mammals, counting you."

What could Gideon say? He knew Nick had a life before him. There was no point in getting jealous, he was just happy to be with Nick now.

"Still more than me..."

"That doesn't mean I enjoyed them. You know what they say; quality over quantity... and it's true..." Talking about this was bittersweet; it felt good to finally have someone to share this stuff, but what if he accidentally hurt his confident? "I... god, I used to hate myself after cumming."

"Is it like... when you're very horny and you jerk off to something you enjoy but once you're done you don't wanna know anything about it?"

Gideon knew that feeling well, and Nick was glad he understood.

"I couldn't have put it better."

"That feeling is awful... but I haven't felt that way with you."

Now it was the baker the one opening up; he had had his fair share of orgasms that killed him inside a little, but so far none in Zootopia.

"Me neither... I just wanted to cuddle with you after finishing."

The slender fox's legs were shaking and he was still lightheaded, but instead of self-disgust he felt peace, a sense of serenity he had never experienced before.

"Me too..." Now that he thought about it, if Nick's only experiences were pawjobs and blowjobs… "but that means I'm the first one who-!"

"Yes you are," the officer interrupted him, already knowing how that sentence would end, kissing his chest and lifting his head to meet the other's wide eyes. "and I wouldn't have done it with anyone else." Nick sounded proud; you could almost say he was reserving himself for someone special, and he didn't regret choosing the gentle, apologetic, and now more confident vulpine.

Gideon grabbed his cheeks and leaned his head to cover the former con artist's soft smile that resembled one of his own with his lips in a quick and wet peck that ended with a sonorous "muack" sound. Though that seemed to pass on the other's expression, the baker's face imitating that relaxed gesture, smile and everything.

"Silly fox…"

"I know this is corny, but it's true there's a huge difference between having sex and making love."

Did Nick really say that? Had the tables turned and now he was the sweeter one? In any case, Gideon smooched him again.

"Yes it is."

The plump fox had one last lingering thought; he wanted to ask about how they were, how did those other mammals look, if they were too different from him… but he didn't. Not because he had issues with his body; he had come to terms with his genetics and metabolism, but because he was curious if Nick had a type. Though, if he had asked, the former con artist would have told him he couldn't resist some extra chub.

Gideon settled for another question.

"But you gotta stop listening to rap music. _'Eat my cake'_? Really?"

"Well, you were melting between my paws when I was eating your cake, but you'd have to blame the years I spent living with Finn for that; I'm more of a soul fox."

"Soul music? I guess it fits you."

"You fit me too." Nick could not avoid making that joke. "And what are you into?"

"Musically speaking anything with pianos and violins."

"And not musically?"

"You mean what type of guys I like?"

Maybe Gideon didn't want to ask, but Nick felt no shame.

"Yeah; am I what you always wanted? Am I too skinny, too ugly?"

"First off, you're perfect the way you are-"

"Now you're the corny one."

"-and second… you're my type."

"Really?"

Gideon nodded, a little embarrassed; he had never talked about this with anyone before. Not that Bonnie and Stu hadn't asked him about what kind of girls he liked, but he avoided answering them for obvious reasons…

"You like them troubled and sarcastic?"

The pudgy fox wasn't referring to that, but he'd play along; they weren't in condition to have more deep conversations.

"Sure, and smaller than me so I can carry them around."

"I'm taller than you, but you have that tuft of hair…"

"You want me to cut it? I could still carry you."

"No way, you're my ideal type the way you are too." Gideon wanted to retort with something witty and self-deprecating as well, but Nick was faster than him. "Handsome, sweet, natural, honest, strong, down to Earth…" Well, that just made the baker feel bad; he loved that his mate thought of him like that, but when it was his turn he just joked… "…I could spend all day kissing your cheeks, rubbing your belly, and motorboating your tits."

Gideon felt less bad after that.

* * *

Eventually they had to rinse the many fluids that still covered them off their fur, but as soon as they entered the bathroom, Gideon went straight for the toilet. When Nick saw him standing there, not caring about a thing and hearing a stream of liquid falling into the water, he wanted to applaud.

"Hey Gid! You're doing it; you're peeing in front of me!"

"I am!"

"Congratulations!"

"Wanna put your fac-"

"Will you ever let that go?"

"No."

"Fine."

Nick wasn't feeling like being pissed on at the moment, but you know what they say; if you can't beat them…

He stood next to Gideon and dealt the same business, acting as if they were strangers in a public bathroom.

"Howdy."

"Good afternoon, sir."

But in the end he couldn't keep himself from laughing.

"We really are a power couple now."

Or at least had fewer boundaries.

Then they shared another quick dip in the tub, this time just to clean themselves up.

"I finally got a plug for-"

Though Gideon still felt like keeping their banter going, and maybe fooling around a little.

"Sooo… you learnt what you know from porn too?"

" _'_ _Too'_?"

Was his Gid some kind of porn addict? Well, even if he was, he could understand; he was twenty six or twenty seven and very repressed… well, it could be worse.

"Is that a yes?"

"Well… yeah, mostly; I met this careless bear back when I was working for the mafia…"

"Aha…"

"…and he used his DVDs as coasters. I kept a couple and watched them while I was cleaning their cars."

"Oh…"

"What? Are you disappointed?"

"No, not really…"

"Then? Are you still worrie-"

"Did you have to dress as a maid?"

"That's oddly specific…"

"Well?"

"…only once."

"…I hope they paid well."

Gideon hadn't answered his previous question yet, and it really caught Nick's interest.

"So, you like porn?"

"…maybe?"

"Come on, don't go all shy on me now; would you like me to dress as a sexy maid for you?"

"…no?"

"Really? I think I still have the costume somewhere… anyway, do you know what felching is?"

He did.

"And sounding?"

He did.

"And… what was that thing when a guy puts his dick in another guy's dick…?"

"Docking?"

"So you do!"

Before Nick could keep going, he heard his phone; who could be texting him at whatever hour it was? Maybe Finnick? It was Friday; perhaps he got drunk or high and was pouring his heart out to him again. The plump fox thanked whoever that was because at least it made Nick give him a break; really, he wasn't helping at all. Did he want a third round?

"Are you done?" Gideon asked putting his head on one of Nick's shoulders and nuzzling him. He had been helping the officer get rid of the crust that threatened to form on his fur, and after their last exchange he thought he could still go for one last pawjob; he'd avoid finishing on any of their bodies, though.

"Almost; you can try the furdryer if you want to while I finish." Nick still had to clean himself on the inside; it's hard to rinse the lube off of your asshole when you're sitting in the tub.

Gideon accepted his offer, however he kept feeling like messing around with Nick a bit more. His dick, on the other hand, refused to obey; it just wouldn't leave his sheath. Was it the slight pain in his balls and shaft telling him he was wearing it out? Was he getting too old? Not even seeing Nick almost fingering himself in order to clean his insides was doing anything for him… it seemed he couldn't for a third round even if we wanted. Maybe… putting rubber bands around his knot would help? Would his dick fall off and die?

Nick still hadn't fully recovered from the last one and "sex" was an unknown concept for him at the moment; there's a long way from cloud nine to Earth. Well, it wasn't like they couldn't do it any other time.

After the baker struggled with the surprisingly powerful device and ended up fluffiest than ever, he acted as Nick's secretary and brought his phone to its owner; it was Judy texting him, asking them if they were awake because her sleep schedule was as screwed as theirs and she was bored out of her mind. The foxes couldn't say no; she already knew her message had been read, so they agreed on her dropping by.

Darn, now they didn't have time to groom each other.

"Can we still cuddle?" Gideon discovered that he really enjoyed something he never had before; physical affection.

"Sure thing fluffball."

"Rude."

"Shhh, you're adorable; but I guess it'll have to be on the couch and we'll have to wear our pajamas. I mean, Judy isn't into nudity…"

"Oh, I know that well…"

"…why?"

"She caught me taking off my apron once and she looked away."

"Were you wearing anything under the apron?"

"…maybe I won't next time."

"Ohhhh! Are you cooking tomorrow too?"

They also found out it was four in the morning.

* * *

The couple tried to dry the mattress the best way they could, but eventually they gave up and turned it around and finally put clean sheets on it; who knows how long they'd stay like that…

"Oh! Tell Judy to bring some detergent!"

While Gideon did so and looked for his night attire, Nick went to check how everything looked in his living room; there were a few empty boxes and a bunch of bags, the utensils the chef for the night had used sitting in the kitchen sink… it wasn't too bad, Judy wouldn't complain much.

But when he got closer to the couch, a recently discovered yet already familiar scent hit him; he looked and he found Gideon's pajamas lying there. Nick grabbed the white briefs still wet with precum, and after making sure Gideon was still in the bedroom, he took a whiff. Fuck, he could almost taste that delicious musk.

_'_ _You really were excited, huh?'_

He thought they could get a bit dirtier… but they ended in the growing pile of clothes inside his washing machine. Surely Judy would arrive soon…

"Gid, stop looking; your pjs are here."

"Oh right, I forgot. I'm a little dizzy after… you know…"

"You and me both buddy; want something to eat?"

He did, and when Judy came knocking on his door a few minutes after she did too; luckily Curt seemed to be a microwave food connoisseur. But when the rabbit greeted them she was… excited, maybe a little too much.

_"_ _What have you been doing, Carrots?"_

_"_ _Well, I cleaned my apartment, but two square feet are easy to clean; then I did my taxes, did you know last year I spent 600 dollars on gasoline? And then I worked out some. And then I showered. And then I worked out again. And then I showered again."_

_"_ _Aaand you've been drinking coffee."_

_"_ _Yes! When I woke up I thought 'it's seven in the afternoon, I'm not sleeping tonight, I should find a way to stay awake until tomorrow night', but I guess I overdid it, and here I am!"_

_"_ _Ye-"_

_"_ _Because my life's really empty, but you two seem to be doing well, so I'm here to leech off of you! Ohhh, you guys went on a shopping spree? That's nice. Maybe I should find a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Or both? Ugh, but I want none... also if I any of you hurts the other I'll kill you both. I can do that, I know how to use guns-"_

_"_ _Carrots."_

_"_ _By the way Gid, you look super cute. Can I call you cute? Shit, am I a hypocrite for calling you cute-?"_

_"_ _Carrots!"_

_"_ _Holy mole rat, you got a coffee machine? Damn, Nick; back at it again with the stolen-"_

_"_ _**Judy!** _ _"_

_"_ _**What?!** _ _"_

_…_

_"_ _We have videogames."_

_"_ _Anything with lots of shooting?"_

Fortunately they did. The improvised soiree consisted in the bunny enjoying some cephalopod genocide along with a plate of half frozen squares of something that faintly tasted like actual food, and the fox couple watching her yell insults at Nick's flat screen while they exchanged whispers she could perfectly hear.

_"_ _Gid, is your taint always this hot…?"_

**_"_ ** **_Please, not in front of me!"_ **

_"_ _If her parents heard her saying-"_

**_"_ ** **_My dad would kill these squids if they- fuck! I'm dying!"_ **

At least until her heart rate normalized a little. After realizing she had been acting a bit as a psycho she apologized and started the conversation they should have had when she arrived.

"So, how have you guys been?"

"Not too bad… you know… showering?"

What was Nick supposed to say? If she were to catch up on everything that happened that day she'd probably yell again; her ears still jerked involuntarily from time to time, and Gideon seemed to have dozed off on Nick's couch. He had spent quite a bit of time on it, and he already liked it better than the one at his place.

"Right, right… everything okay? No one trying to kill you or anything like that?"

"I saw a couple of fishy kids at the mall, but they were more interested in stealing a sweatshirt than in murdering us."

"I see… and everything okay here? Between you two?"

"Oh my god, again with-"

But Gideon wasn't entirely asleep; so she was interested in their relationship… jeez, she really resembled her mom.

"We're fine, Judy."

And he was sleepy and annoyed; sure, maybe her behavior was altered due to her caffeine overdose, but that didn't mean he had to accept it.

"Weren't you asleep?"

"With you screaming how deep you were gonna shove your shotgun down that squid's ass?"

The bunny chuckled nervously.

"Sorry about that."

But she didn't take the hint; the baker wanted her to leave. He was sleepy, he had had a pretty intense day, and Gideon Grey is a bit less gentle when he's tired.

However, Nick did understand him.

"It's almost six in the morning… wanna go to bed, Giddy?"

"Yes."

They liked her, they really did, yet a surprise visit at four in the morning wasn't something they were fond of. It'd be okay if it were just her talking about whatever, but no; when Gideon saw her bouncing around right after entering Nick's apartment something told him it wasn't going to be a relaxing eve, and he wanted no more distress. Good thing Nick didn't have many neighbors.

But eventually she understood what they meant too.

"It's been two hours? Gosh… well, I guess that's my cue to leave."

Gideon stood up with a grunt and took Judy's plate to the sink.

"Yeah… we're kinda tired, Cottontail."

Even Nick was a bit surprised by the pudgy vulpine's actions; he wouldn't complain since he wanted some rest as well, but he didn't mind the bunny that much. Though he thought grumpy Gideon was cute.

A moment after the bunny was bidding her goodbyes, to which the baker replied with a halfhearted wave and a forced smile and Nick responded properly with his polite host manners.

"You're going to sleep too? You know you can crash on my couch."

"Nah, I still have energy; I'm thinking of going for another run before going back home."

"…don't tell me you came here running."

"I don't like driving late."

"Right…" Of course, taking them to see Charles was an exception… should he tell her she wouldn't have to drive them there again anytime soon?

"Good night guys."

"Wait, Carrots…" Maybe not; she shouldn't have to get any more involved in his problems. "…have a good run."

"Sure… I'll try not to sprain an ankle."

"…"

* * *

"Okay big boy, time to go to be-"

Before Nick could finish his sentence, his phone began ringing. Gideon looked at the slender fox wondering who'd call him at six in the morning, but the officer simply shrugged; he didn't know either. Maybe it was from work? It was his free day, but perhaps there was an emergency or perhaps Clawhauser wanted him to bring him some treat; that had happened before.

Gideon went to their shared bedroom and came back an instant after with Nick's phone in his paw.

"It's Judy."

Oh, maybe she forgot something, although they didn't remember her bringing anything. Gideon seemed torn between annoyance and worry, but she didn't have time to get in trouble; she had just left.

The only way they'd find out was picking up.

"Carrots, are you having a heart attack?" Nick kidded, smiling at Gideon.

"Your mom lived north of Downtown, right?"

That was an unusual question, and she sounded nervous; not like her "I'm made of caffeine!", but her "Fuck, what do I do?" kind of nervous. Nick could tell them apart.

"Yes?" What else could he say? She did.

"I'm not sure, but I think I just saw her; she was… I don't know… shaking? She looked like she had been fighting with bears or something. She didn't look happy at all and I think she was going to Savanna."

"There are a lot of things to do here."

"On a Saturday? At this hour?"

"Maybe she's working out, just like you."

Gideon could see how Nick's expression shifted as he talked even if his tone stayed the same, and his concern came back. _'She?'_

"She wasn't-" At times, her friend's humor could be exacerbating. "Look, you're the only fox I've ever seen here; I think she-"

But Nick was far from dumb; he needed no more clues.

"She's my mom, and she's coming to pay a visit."

Nick sounded careless, but he wasn't. Gideon's ears perked up when he heard those words. _Luckily_ his tiredness wouldn't let his imagination wander and try to discover on his own what was going on.

"And that's alright?" Judy was worried too; another reason why she didn't want to sleep or drive her car was that she was a bit neurotic. What if someone followed them? What if someone memorized her plate and was trying to hunt them down? Seeing that vixen on her way to Nick's right after whatever happened the previous night rubbed her the worst way, and after witnessing the conversation they had prior meeting Charles the last thing the rabbit thought was that Veronica was coming over for breakfast...

"It's alright; usually it's me who visits her, but I guess she just misses her boy too much." And that's how he made his fortune; very few could lie like he did.

But Judy knew him well; there was something else hidden behind that wall of sarcasm.

Gideon found himself in a conundrum; he didn't like seeing Nick lying to their friend, but it was probably for the best. He also knew how much she… no, the Hopps could worry about problems that didn't even affect them; they were caring mammals, but at times, there was nothing they could do.

It was a weird feeling because he was involved too; his annoyance disappeared and it was replaced by something that wasn't fear. He wouldn't call it fear because he wouldn't hesitate in doing the same he did to Charles to Veronica if it were for Nick, but whatever it was, he didn't like it.

"Okay… call me if anything happens." She wouldn't press on it; what could Judy do that the foxes couldn't if she went back to Nick's apartment anyway? Sneak up on her and kick her head?

"Don't worry, we'll be fine." And like that, Nick hung up.

But, just in case, Judy wouldn't leave the neighborhood; she wouldn't follow Veronica, a nervous bunny doesn't have much tactical advantage over a, dare she say… unstable vixen, but she'd be there if she was needed.

"Well?" Gideon asked walking up to Nick and hugging him; he liked the previous plan of going to bed better, maybe he could drag the slender fox with him. Nick closed his eyes and threw his head back before scratching the back of the baker's head with his free paw; he wanted to rest as well, but it wouldn't be that easy. After assimilating what was about to happen he took a deep breath and answered.

"I'm not making breakfast for her."

Probably he wasn't that distressed; he was perfectly able to keep his cool. Either that or he was too sleepy to care.

None of them thought of changing clothes or getting ready to face her in any way; they just peeked out the window to find the sun greeting them before sitting on the couch waiting. Well, at first they were sitting; after ten minutes of absolutely nothing they decided to lie down. Time kept passing, and they stayed quiet; nothing they could say would make the situation any better, though at least having the other close was comforting.

Nick didn't want to see her; she knew where his father was and she never told him, she even defended him, and she had been consuming too… who knows what else she had been lying about? What else was she keeping from him? It wasn't like he ever had the courage to ask. _'Hey mom! I'm back after being gone for many years; tell me everything you've been up to!'_ No, that didn't sound right. And he was sure she wouldn't just tell him.

Both thought about what Veronica would say. _"You killed him! This is your fault! You're no son of mine!",_ but their mental activity froze when they heard a noise outside.

She was finally there.

They expected her to bang at the door until it broke or shout Nick's name along with a variety of curse words, but they were wrong.

When Nick lifted his head in anticipation he found a piece of paper before the entrance, and then silence reigned again. She didn't want to talk to his face? Fine, he didn't either; he'd survive.

The officer stood up quickly, a little annoyed by his mother's cowardice, but curious nonetheless. Gideon just watched him go and pick up the sheet.

For a moment, Nick thought he should read it with Gideon because maybe they could get a laugh out of it, but if he'd have done that he'd have been lying to himself and probably to Gideon if the reaction provoked by whatever was written there wasn't the one he expected. In the end, he read it by himself standing in front of the door.

Silence grew louder.

Gideon could see his serious expression and how tight he was gripping the paper.

And Nick… he just sighed through his nose and began talking to himself, or to any audience he could possibly have.

"She's apologizing.

She says… that my father was a good mammal and she blames herself for not telling me about him before; that she liked seeing me thinking of him as a hero, but now it's too late.

She says that she lied to me; that when I was little, she only worked in that diner for six months. That we weren't as poor as I thought, that we could have had a better life but she was being egotistical and did what she wanted, that she's very sorry and that if it were for me I could arrest her right now.

She says that…"

Nick interrupted his monologue to swallow, but his monotone voice didn't change a bit. Gideon's expression stayed the same as well.

"That she just wants me to be happy…" The slender fox raised his head from the paper and looked at Gideon. "…and she keeps going."

Now that he had his partner's eyes on him the plump vulpine felt pressured. What was he supposed to say? He never thought something like this could happen to anyone, though the idea of receiving something like that from his parents appeared in his brain, and he couldn't say if he liked it or hated it. What if he ever got a letter similar to that one? Would he accept their apologies?

...

A week prior he'd probably have said yes, but he wasn't that desperate for affection anymore.

"Gideon, what do you think this means?"

He had to answer Nick, he promised not to lie to him, and to him that meant…

"Nothing."

Nick smiled when he heard that; he agreed. He left the sheet on the kitchen table and took a step towards the one he thought he wanted to marry one day.

"Exactly, because if she really thought that…"

The former con artist didn't feel anything while reading what Veronica wrote. Now he was thankful for not being too attached to her; if he saw her as a mother he probably wouldn't see her as what she really was. She was one of those he grew up hating and after meeting his father, the kind of fox that made every other mammal think of them as criminals, and Gideon, an exception among his species, he knew one thing for sure: she was like that because she wanted to.

"…she'd have apologized earlier. She wouldn't have needed this catalyst."

No one ever apologized to Gideon. Being related by blood doesn't mean you have a free pass to do as you will, and he learnt that by himself; but his parents thought otherwise. Now he knew he wasn't alone, and he understood Nick perfectly.

"Or she wouldn't have acted the way she did from the beginning. This is just her conscience telling her she's done wrong, trying to feel better with herself."

"You think she'd blame herself for your father's death?"

Nick's rose-tinted glasses were as shattered as Gideon's; their experiences made them cynical when it came to certain topics, or certain mammals.

"No… when I was little she blamed me after I came home crying and told her they put a muzzle on me. She told me my dad would have killed those brats, that I wasn't acting like a real fox…"

"You didn't tell me that part."

"I didn't remember."

Just like Gideon, Nick also had many repressed memories; for a while he only saw what he wanted to see, but that had changed. Maybe it was her letter, maybe it was Charles's death…

_'_ _I remember she left me alone for a week when I was nine; she never told me where she was. I cried a lot._

_I remember Honey came to pick me up from school early one day. No, more than one…_

_I remember… one Christmas I got everything I asked for… and she was very happy… but once holiday was over she barely talked to me in almost a month._

_I remember…'_

Crying about his past wouldn't accomplish anything; his story was sad enough already, and these revelations… they just made starting over easier. She never protected him, she just wanted him to be clean before joining the family business; he was a disappointment to his own parents, and he couldn't be gladder. He wasn't like them.

Just one step separated the foxes.

"And now what?"

Gideon stood up, his eyes focused on Nick's.

"She says she's leaving," Nick offered his right paw to the other vulpine, who took it without hesitation. "and we're going to bed."

He had spent most of his life lying and being lied to, he could see right through her even if she wasn't there.

The way her letter was written, the smudges, the crumples at the sides, what Judy said… _'she was shaking and she looked like she had been fighting with bears'_.

Veronica didn't pay much mind to her words.

If Mr. Big knew Charles was dead, Veronica surely did too; they were still in touch, after all. What had she been doing during the eight hours that had passed? Mourning?

It wasn't hard to figure out.

Charles and she had to be remotely alike if at some point the notion of loving the other ever crossed their minds, just like Nick and Gideon. Opposites don't attract; why would you like the exact contrary of what you are? You'd fear it, you'd hate it, you couldn't relate to it… but Veronica and Charles could relate just like Gideon's parents could.

They were crooked, and they accidentally brought two mammals into their world, assuming they'd be just like them.

But they weren't; they became their opposites, and they didn't like them. It's not so unusual, parents that hate their children.

In Gideon and Nick they saw themselves as what they never were and never wanted to be, or even worse; as what at one point they wanted to be but never were, a reminder of their failures, _and that's why they rejected them_ _ **.**_

However, both unwanted offspring grew up strong and learnt not to care.

At least now they had someone that loved them.

Veronica was disappointed when Nick commenced his scamming scheme; not because of what he was doing, but because he could do better. You can sell air once and disappear never to be seen again, or you can have a customer base asking for the rocks you sell every day.

She approved of the second option because she knew firsthand what those customers would do for a pebble, but her son was smart enough as to not get involved in real fox businesses; his illegal ice cream never killed anyone.

Veronica wouldn't even remember she had ever been to Nick's, and with some luck she'd never go back. Who knows, maybe she'd be the next one biting the dust.

Nick felt relieved, because he didn't have to pity anyone anymore, because what made him what he once was wasn't there anymore, because he could start over again without losing anything. There was no more dead weight dragging him down, only breezes pushing him up.

And Gideon was offered the chance to have a real new life finally feeling like he belonged somewhere. His visit to Zootopia taught him a thing or two about his species; why other mammals feared and despised foxes, why Nick did as well… why he felt so miserable living in a place where he didn't fit in.

It was far from perfect, but it was more than they ever expected to have, and now they had the chance to make it better.

"Yeah, let's go to sleep."

[everything ok carrots] - 6:47

[oh i forgot to tell u] - 6:49

[I'm leaving the ZPD. Before you ask I'm doing this for me, not for Gideon, and I have nothing to rethink.] - 6:50

"Maybe not now… but one day we'll go see the sea, right?"

"Again with that?"

"Yeah, there are some corpses I want to get rid of."

"Me too, Nick; me too."

Whether if they were referring to real corpses, or to objects like Nick's old handkerchief that still tied him to a life he thought he enjoyed, or they just meant it in some kind of spiritual way was up to them. In any case, it's better not to use the foundation of an old house to build a new one or it'll end up crooked too.

"I feel like we've done a lot today."

"Yeah… it's been a long Friday."

"It's Friday?"

"Saturday now."

"Huh… hey, Gideon, you think we should open an ice cream parlor together?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

…

"Are you crying?"

"No, we said we wouldn't do that anymore."

"You can if you want to."

"I don't have anything to cry for. We had a good day."

That night… morning? they slept very close together, not only because they wanted to, but because part of the mattress was still damp.

At least the sheets weren't crusty.

-[WHAT]

[WHAT DOES THAT MEAN]

[DID SOMETHING HAPPEN] 7:33

[NICK] 7:35

[ARE YOU ASLEEP] 7:36

* * *

_"Mi sono stancato di quella stupida volpe."_

_"Signore... voi pensi che fosse necessario-?"_

_"Lo consideri un favore... non ha mai chiesto. Prego, Nicky."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh darn.
> 
> Don't let me stockpile garbage ever again, please. Oh! By the way, have you seen the new cover art? No? What's your problem? Right, this is AO3. That's cool, I respect you. The point, yes, the point: you can see it on my Tweeto along with... more. The handle is the same than my username here (the one that's NOT in brackets.) I'd appreciate it if you boosted my ego or humiliated me publicly in a very creative way; but watch out! I'm very sensitive and you'll probably make me cry.
> 
> hello
> 
> Yo where the Dogtanian 3D movie at?


	13. Ruh roh Rhaggy, it's Raturray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Shippuden arc based on the light novels chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The format is all over the place. 
> 
> Enjoy?

_-but sir! You must get in that ring! Otherwise-_

_Tap, tap, tap tap._

‘…gnaaaaagh.’

_Tap tap tap… tap, tap._

‘Ugh… I was liking that dream…’

_Tapapapap… tap taptap tap._

‘What is that…?’

Gideon opened his eyes and found the source of such noise. An orange blur that, once his retinas adjusted to the sunlight meekly making its way through the window, turned out to be Nick lying next to him, and he seemed really focused on his phone; so much he didn’t realize he had awakened Gideon. But the baker wouldn’t blame him; it wasn’t the worst thing to wake up to.

“Mo’ng.“

Too early to articulate.

The officer looked at his left, finding an extra disheveled fox with half of his face still buried in his pillow that made it impossible for him to avoid smiling.

“Mo’ng to you too,” he abandoned his phone for a moment to kiss Gideon’s nose and play with his wild tuft of hair, “did I wake you up?”

“Agnh.” The pudgy vulpine extended his arm trying to pull the other closer because his body told him it wasn’t time to leave bed yet.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” And even though Nick would have loved to stay, he had something to do. “I’m sorry Gid, but I gotta go to the station real quick; I’ll tell Bogo I’m quitting, and Carrots is… very insistent this morning.”

_‘He’s actually doing it?’_

Not that Gideon doubted Nick, but it was a big step to take. So big it almost made him forget about his sleepiness. He sat up and looked at his feet, trying to fully wake himself up, scratching his back and yawning so big Nick could see his tonsils.

“…what time is it?”

“Almost twelve.” The soon to be ex officer replied, standing up and opening his built-in closet. “You can go back to sleep, it’s still early… for us, at least.” It is when you go to bed at eight in the morning.

“And who’ll make breakfast while you’re away?” The baker stretched and stood up behind the older fox before pulling his pajama pants down; the least he could do was helping Nick change his clothes.

“I can bring something.” The slender vulpine picked his clothes for the day and sloppily turned around, moment that Gideon used to hug him by the waist and put his head on the other’s right shoulder; maybe it was the lack of sleep, but the plump mammal was feeling more sappy than usual.

“We bought food for two years.” Gideon growled in Nick’s neck, making his lower back tickle and his tail involuntarily caress the wooden door behind him. And from up-close he could also see what the older fox had in his hands. “That shirt is mine.”

“I know.”

“It’s gonna smell like you.”

“You want me to wear something else?”

“No…”

“…”

But the clothes talk reminded Gideon of something.

“…de…terg...”

After Nick got dressed and Gideon felt fresh enough as to behave like a regular mammal, the officer left to finally get rid of that title, not without smooching his favorite fox a couple of times first. It was the first time they were going to be apart since Gideon stepped on Zootopia; it wouldn’t be a long time, but the baker never thought he’d leave him alone in his apartment. It was a good thing, really; that meant he trusted the pudgy fox, right? Besides, maybe he could finally bake something… goodness; he almost looked like a workaholic, though it was more of a professional defect.

He just wanted to please Nick.

‘Guess I gotta make breakfast. Go back to your pies, baker boy… does he even have a rolling pin?’

Gideon was sitting on the unmade bed, his chin resting on his left palm, and his left elbow was being supported by his left leg, allowing his slouched figured to absently look at Nick’s pajamas lying at his feet.

“And now what?”

There wasn’t anything special he wanted to do; maybe go back to sleep? He was tired, but Nick surely was too, and he was out being functional… no, something inside didn’t let him rest. Perhaps because it wasn’t his house; even if he was allowed to, he just couldn’t take a nap.

His half lidded eyes explored the room seeking some kind of inspiration; “Do I tidy the place? Do the dishes? Get out of these jammies, put on a nice sundress, get my hair done, go shopping with the girls, come back, make a martini and wait for my husband hoping he won’t slap me too hard because I didn’t put enough gin in it?” Whoa… dark. The point is, he didn’t have many hobbies.

Gideon noticed Nick’s nightstand drawer was open, probably from the previous night; he could see the lube, and the condoms… “Extra-large…” he laughed to himself, “what a cutie.”

And there was something else sticking out in the back; from what he could see it was either a miniature rocket or a dildo. Would he dare confirm his hypothesis? Of course; two undecided fingers reached inside, grabbing whatever that item could be, and when they came back out he discovered that no, it was no rocket.

“So half a virgin, huh?”

He observed it; it wasn’t longer than a regular pen, and not much wider. Its shape was curious to say the least, curved and ending in a slightly bigger lump.

A wild thought crossed Gideon’s mind; what if next time he bottomed for Nick? He had thought about it before; in fact, he had peeked what was on the hill, but he had never gone any further than a couple of paw pads visiting the outside. Would it be rude to try Nick’s toy out?

Well, aside from how polite doing that might be, there was another problem; without getting into too much detail, Gideon had a kind of a _very_ shy sphincter. And living with Nick wasn’t helpful at all… it would break the magic of a relationship which foundation was tears and loneliness and had been through more drama than your average soap opera. At least none of them had a secret evil twin, right?

Luckily his belly would realize he was alone and he could get that out of the way. He’d ask Nick about what to do with his ass later.

\---

 

On the other hand, Nick woke up two hours earlier than Gideon, only to discover that certain uneasiness had taken over his desire to keep sleeping; he had his reasons to be nervous, of course, but what could make him go from “this isn’t my problem” to looking behind his back every time someone walked past him on his way to the precinct?

 

Mr. Big told him there was no problem and there weren’t any funerals he wanted to assist to, Judy asked for explanations he didn’t feel like giving, and things between him and Gideon had finally reached calm waters.

 

**_No one was following him, right? Was that wolf looking at him? Who was that lady texting?_ **

 

He could only blame his sleep deprivation for his newfound anxiousness. Maybe it had nothing to do with what happened to Charles or anything of the sort; he was about to quit his job, mind you.

 

And when he arrived at the station, things weren’t looking any brighter. The lobby was _crowded;_ it was almost impossible to see Clawhauser behind a clearly altered mass of people and the officers there telling them to calm down. Nick could only discern a few words: “killed”, “son”, “mother”…

 

Usually weekends weren’t as busy; not for him, at least, since he had only worked three in his entire career and he stuck strictly to paperwork. Sometimes biases could play in his favor; Bogo had bosses too, and he had been told to keep the fox under control. Fortunately Nick didn’t know about that or his opinion of justice and equality would be even worse.

 

He would have intervened only because Ben was his friend, but he was off duty and about to resign, and also he couldn’t have comforted anyone there; he didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know in what way he could have helped, and honestly he was rather apathetic towards the whole situation. Such sight only worried him more; intervening could have been what finally made him collapse.

 

Besides, there was one thing he knew for sure; Nick wouldn’t put any stranger’s issues before his.

 

That last thought made clear being a cop had been a mistake since the beginning; the bad guy turning good shtick never really worked. How much can someone really change? How long can they stay changed?

 

Goddamn Judy and her “you’d make a decent cop”… and goddamn most of his life choices too.

 

The stairs that lead to Bogo’s office seemed eternal; his shadow made everything behind him disappear as he advanced, rendering it impossible for Nick to back down, and each step he took prompted new thoughts that made his mood change drastically:

 

_‘Am I making a mistake? What am I going to do after this?’_

_Tap._

_‘I have money… if I play my cards right I won’t have to worry about working in a long time.’_

_Tap._

_‘Gideon… what if he needs more? I could… go back to my old habits.’_

_Tap._

_‘What do I need…?’_

_Tap._

_‘What if he isn’t there? Am I taking everything for granted?’_

_Tap._

_‘Yes.’_

_Tap._

_‘We’re just going to enjoy life, maybe finally visit Bunny Burrows and see if they’re so… **accepting**.’_

_Tap._

_‘Judy… I wonder if we’ll stop talking after this…’_

_Tap._

_‘Probably.’_

_Tap._

_‘What if…’_

_Tap, tap, tap…_

_‘ **What if…** ’_

_…tap, tap, tap…_

_‘…’_

_…tap._

 

By the time he arrived at the buffalo’s door, he was exhausted both mentally and physically… perhaps he shouldn’t have left his bed.

 

But it was too late to turn back; he had already knocked, Bogo let him in, and now he was facing him.

 

‘I’m leaving, _I’m leaving_ , **_I’m leaving_**.’

 

“Wilde.” Monosyllabic, curt, tense. The buffalo barely paid any attention to him; the files on his desk were more deserving.

 

“Chief, what’s wrong?” All those mammals down there…

 

“Murders, Wilde. Nine in one night.”

 

“God... how did this happen...?” Who cares?

 

“We’ve arrested five mammals so far, we don't know if there are any more suspects out there... only two have been interrogated, a **XXXXXXX** and a **XXXX** **XXXXXXXX**.”

 

“And?” Why are you telling me this?

 

_‘I asked him.’_

 

“And they seem to be clean. The rest are... **_~~FOXES~~_** ...they aren't willing to talk.”

 

**_~~ SOON TO BE KILLED ~~ _ **

 

_‘They are what?’_

 

“If you need help I could-“ I have to pretend; I have to be polite, charming…

 

“I need detectives, Wilde.”

 

“Sir, Hopps and I solved-“ The **XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX.** As far as you know that is my entire life; I don’t exist outside your bubble.

 

“You solved one case, one year ago, by accident.”

 

_‘Yeah, I’m not a detective. I’m sorry.’_

 

“What do you mean **by accident**?”

 

“She didn't know how reports worked yet and she wrote everything that happened during those... three? Four months?”

 

“But before that we found that Lionheart-“

 

“-was being manipulated.”

 

**Fuck you.**

 

The buffalo was out of focus, distorted, surrounded by static.

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“...I just thought we could be of help.” I regret this conversation. Free me.

 

“How?”

 

“...I don't know.”

 

_‘I’m sorry… Judy isn’t even here.’_

 

“Listen, **_~~Wilde~~_**... have you ever seen a _corpse_?

 

Has a _~~widow~~_ or…

 

an **_orphan_** ever blamed you for a **_~~murder~~_** even though you're the one trying to

 

 **help** them?”

 

_‘I don’t know.’_

 

“No.” That doesn’t sound fun.

 

“Then stay out of this.”

 

**_Put an end to this silence._ **

 

 _My only duty now_. “I just came to give you this.” **_~~My badge.~~_**

**_~~~~ _ **

_‘It was never mine to begin with…’_

 

Bogo lifted his head but never looked at him, or his badge, or his files.

 

“Where were you wearing it?”

 

“What?”

 

“ ** _ ~~Your~~_** _**~~badge~~**_. Was it in your wallet?”

 

“Yeah, it was in my wallet.”

 

“How many wallets do you have?”

 

“One, only one.”

 

_‘How many do you have?’_

 

“ ** ~~XXXXX~~** years ago, an officer was killed for **~~XXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXX~~**. He kept **_his_** **_~~badge~~_** in his only wallet too.”

 

“So?”

 

**_Shut up._ **

 

“When we interrogated the murderer, **XX XXXX XXXX** at first he just wanted to rob him, but when he saw his badge, he shot him...”

 

_‘What does this have to do with-?’_

 

“I always thought he wasn't made to be a cop, and I think the _exact same thing_ about **_~~you~~_**.”

 

Nick couldn’t be angry.

“It seems you were right.”

 

 **I’M** **_~~LEAVING.~~_**

 

“Come by tomorrow, you'll have to **XXXX XXXX XXXXXX**.”

 

But before leaving…

 

“Hey, chief... are there any **_~~FOXES~~_** among the arrested mammals?”

 

_‘Didn’t he tell me before?’_

 

“Two **~~XXXXXX~~** and a **~~XXXXXX~~**. Why?”

**_GOODBYE._ **

 

“Curiosity.”

 

\---

 

Nick stormed out.

He didn’t think, he hadn’t been thinking; he couldn’t think.

 

Across town, a phone rang.

 

“ ~~Good aft~~ -“

 

_Pointless._

“I need to talk to Mr. Big.”

 

**~~“(…)”~~ **

****

**~~“(…)”~~ **

****

**~~“(…)”~~ **

 

 ** ~~“(…)~~** now.”

 

“ ** ~~(…)~~** **_~~Nicky~~_** **~~(…)~~** ”

 

“If you have any men at **~~XX XXXXXX XXXXX~~** tell them to clean up and leave.”

 

_‘Please, understand.’_

                                             

“Why?”

 

“It's gonna get busy.”

 

**~~“(…)”~~ **

****

**~~“(…)”~~ **

****

**~~“(…)~~** …fine.”

 

End of communication.

 

Mammals, and mammals, and mammals kept entering the precinct. They talked not using words, but in clean and articulated noises. There wasn’t an outside; everything was black unless Nick looked at it. Torches replaced his eyeballs, and the fire was dying.

 

_At least the fire wouldn’t let him cry anymore. What was he becoming?_

 

Clawhauser was still there, why wouldn’t he? Moving, writing, talking… not breathing, following his scheduled pattern, unable to see the strings.

Behind his desk was a single piece of paper waiting for Nick.

 

" **Anonymous report**

 

 ** ~~XXXXXXXXX XXXXX~~** District. **~~(…)~~**

 

 ** ~~(…)~~** out of your jurisdiction; **~~(…)~~** must stop whatever is going on there.

 

_Help me, help me, **help me, help me,** **~~help me~~**_

 

 ~~Send~~ **~~XXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX.~~**

 

~~See ya."~~

 

A single step before him took him back to Bogo’s office. He wouldn’t enter this time.

 

_Like mother, like son._

 

On his way out, he kissed Clawhauser on the cheek.

 

"I'm going to miss you, buddy."

 

He wouldn’t see this city again.

 

\---

“ _Dad._ ”

 

_They had no bodies._

 

“Would you be surprised if I told you this isn't the first time something like this happens?”

 

“What?”

 

“Raccoons.”

 

“Raccoons?”

 

“Raccoons; have you ever seen one?”

 

“Yes. No.”

 

“Look... maybe some of us are more civilized, but that doesn't mean everyone can avoid following their instincts. You don't have to be savage to feel like another species is your enemy; if you lack enough common sense, you'll surely do something about it.”

 

“I don’t follow…”

 

“If you were granted such power, what would stop you from eliminating those you don’t like?”

 

“…”

 

_‘My… moral?’_

 

“If no one could find out, if no one could stop you, if it were what you **_believe_** is right…?”

 

“Wait… you mean... they were killed?”

 

“There are many theories... official sources said their food habits were their demise.”

 

“Is that what really happened?”

 

“The apparent higher ups here have always been chosen based on how far they'd be willing to go to achieve this **_peace_**.”

 

‘ _Please, don’t ignore me.’_

 

“What does that mean? Did they kill the raccoons?”

 

“They thought Lionheart was promising but, in the end, disappointing; his predecessor, Roger Honeywell, had a plan that'd turn prey into slaves; long before them, [NAME] wanted to subdue all predators with some kind of electroshock therapy because they were "too dangerous to achieve a peaceful ecosystem"…”

 

“What does all that mean?!”

 

“Zootopia... isn't all sun and smiles...”

 

“No shit…”

.

“This entire city is kind of an experiment.”

 

“...what?”

 

“Who knows if our predecessors' intentions were really creating a melting pot of species that could live in harmony; yet now we pretend this city is exactly that by getting rid of species someone richer and way more powerful than any of us thinks are disposable or unnecessary.”

 

“...that's... that's...”

 

“Insane? Maybe. But it's great for tourism, and the immense majority can't even imagine what's going on. They're just here, they don't question that, they're content.”

 

“God... this is crazy...”

 

_Zoo [\ˈzü\\]: a facility with usually indoor and outdoor settings where living animals are kept especially for public exhibition._

_Utopia [\yu̇-ˈtō-pē-ə\\]: a place of ideal perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions._

 

“And that's only the beginning.”

 

“And now what?”

 

“I'm positive you've doomed your entire species; the same happened to raccoons, to coyotes… someone who pissed out of their pot, turned back on their race, and made it disappear. Usually on accident; you’re the exception.”

 

_‘What about the rest of the world?’_

 

“Shit... shit, _shit_ , **_shit_**... what can I do to stop this?!”

 

“Nothing, but I suggest you calm down.”

 

_‘I can’t.’_

 

“This can't be happening...”

 

“If you want to save yourself, leave the city. If you have any fox friends tell them to leave too.”

 

“What about you?!”

 

“What about me?”

 

_‘I liked seeing you.’_

 

\---

 

**_Gideon._ **

 

“We have to leave.”

 

“...what?”

 

“The city is going crazy, and foxes are gonna be hunted down.”

 

Walking in circles around each other, empty space between them.

 

“Excuse me?!”

 

“Turns out **~~XX~~** **~~XXX~~** was some kind of... ehhh... ~~plug that kept the bad guys from coming~~? I don't know. _~~I am the catalyst~~.”_

 

“Nick, what do you mean?”

 

_‘Please, follow me.’_

 

“They're **_~~BAD~~_** , and I **_~~ENDED THEM~~_**. The thing is, [NAME; ACTION] go straight to the source.”

 

“Their district?”

 

“Yu-huh, and guess what's gonna happen when they find out what's going on.”

 

_‘ **Please, follow me.** ’_

 

“Nick…”

 

“Genocide. Extermination. Extinction.”

 

“Why are you so calm?”

 

_‘I am not.’_

 

“I've spent my entire life hating **_~~them~~_** , I can't say I'm sad.”

 

Younger fox pretended to think, older fox pretended to believe him.

 

“You sound like a sociopath... but I can't blame you.”

 

 ** _ ~~Excusing~~_** – Talking to himself.

 

“Huh?”

 

“ ** _You want them dead, and I understand you_**. [ ~~When I was nine I learnt how to drive a tractor, and everyone in town knew my dad was an alcoholic... I could have run over my mom, and they'd have blamed him... we didn't even have neighbors, but everyone in town had heard him calling her a stupid bitch when they argued...~~ ]”

 

_‘Did you say something? Did I?’_

_Uninhibited neural connections, rushing to make sense of the scenario they had put themselves into. Soul crushing, yet painless._

 

“Gideon... that's...”

 

“Insane. I know it's insane, but I never did it, did I?”

 

_‘I can’t hear you.’_

 

“I don't know... [ **did you** ]?”

 

“I don't know... [ **did you terminate our species** ]?”

 

Always asinine, leading to the same point – believing and acting as if there were no consequences.

 

_Smiling._

“You're crazy...”

 

_Fangs challenging each other; not desiring to scare and subdue the other-_

 

“Hello pot, my name is kettle.”

 

_-but proving they’re similar. Both can draw blood._

 

**_Time to leave._ **

 

 

\---

 

Train station. Empty, dark, lifeless voice repeating the same word over and over.

_“Train, train, train, train, train, train, (…)”_

_~~“Now we run.”~~ _

 

Intermittent baggage. What did they need?

 

_~~“ **We** run away.”~~ _

__

They weren’t alone anymore.

 

**_“You!”_ **

****

A voice that tried to sound familiar shouted. It almost had a shape; it was nothing but black fabric.

 

**_“You killed him!”_ **

****

**‘** _Hey, isn’t that the boy…’_

Following him around, impersonating his conscience.

 

**_“You killed my father!”_ **

****

**Layers upon layers of light.**

****

_‘…from that night?’_

Guilt? Anger? Sorrow?

 

_‘What was his name?’_

**_“You son of a bitch!”_ **

****

**BLIND TO HIS OWN FALL.**

****

_‘ ~~Nick~~?’_

No words to reflect an image, no sounds to convey a feeling. No actions, no movement.

 

_‘Where’s Gideon?’_

He could ~~see~~ himself.

 

**_“YOU KILLED HIM!”_ **

****

He could ~~see~~ himself dying.

 

_‘I killed him?’_

And then, he hit the floor.

 

\---

It wasn’t clear if it were the convulsion that followed his oneiric body falling against the invisible ground or the terrified scream that rashly escaped his throat what hastened Nick’s awakening, though it was certain the latter was to blame for Gideon’s.

 

Cold sweat, erratic breathing, eyes forced open by fear darting in the feeble darkness attempting to assure him he wasn’t in that place anymore…

 

“Nick! W’a’s wron’?!” Naturally, such precipitation scared the younger fox as well. Almost automatically he sat up and put his paw on Nick’s chest, pushing it up and down.

 

Gideon’s touch was somewhat reassuring, but he remembered waking up before too. In his befuddled state, his mind could only come up with one way to prove if he was really awake; his shaky right hand became a fist that punched what he remembered were his cracked ribs.

 

And it hurt; it hurt enough to interrupt his broken breathing and make him gasp louder. However, he was still in his bed, and Gideon was there too; he was awake alright.

 

“Nick, are you okay?!” His lack of communication and his sudden self-harm didn’t but worry the younger vulpine further more.

 

“A nightmare…” Nick finally muttered, replying mostly to himself. He could focus enough as to look at the other fox’s face, finding two agitated oceans already diving into his disoriented red blooming evergreens.

 

Nick knew what had happened, Gideon didn’t; helping him calm down was his new priority. “It was just a nightmare, Gid.” Hopefully rubbing his knee would be enough reassurance; he couldn’t afford doing much more at the moment.

 

“I’m okay, really.” At least as okay as he could be at the moment; he was still nervous, and scared, and in pain, and his brain was gaining speed and picking apart every bit he remembered about the twisted fantasy his subconscious decided to show him.

 

In any case, they weren’t panicking anymore; on the outside, at the minimum. Perhaps they merely kept it to themselves to cease concerning each other.

 

Gideon never had to comfort someone who had had a nightmare before, but caressing the other’s back when he sat up rubbing the bridge of his snout, sighing in an attempt to normalize his breaths, felt natural.

 

“Do you need anything?”

 

At first Nick shook his head; what could possibly help him? However, the more awake he felt, the more his torso hurt. Perhaps punching his injured area wasn’t the great idea it seemed to be…

 

“Can you bring me a pill or two?”

 

Gideon could, and so he did along with a glass of water.

 

During the brief moment he was away, Nick thought about his dream; what did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? Was he scared of making a choice as bold as quitting his job? Did he blame himself for what happened to his father? Was he scared of having foxes roaming free? Was he still unsure about his relationship with Gideon? Did he doubt his whole existence?

 

No.

 

No, that wouldn’t be like him, would it?

 

_‘I think I’m gonna stop drinking… at least before bed.’_

 

He had dreamt worse things and never gave them a second thought; it was probably stress.

 

But unlike those times, now he had Gideon, and no dream could change that… unless, I don’t know, sleep apnea killed him? I mean, not that he suffered from it but you know… there’s always a remote possibility?

 

After swallowing his sedative chemicals Nick laid back in bed waiting for them to take effect; it was still early to wake up, at least by their standards. All the while Gideon kept making sure he was okay, though he refrained from asking too much; Nick awoke screaming, and perhaps he didn’t want to let the baker know why… but that’d be pointless.

 

Gideon lowered the binds all the way down, returned to his side of the bed, and as soon as he lied down Nick tried to bury himself in his chest; the baker was always comforting. Hugging him was more effective than any drug he knew of, no matter what problems were affecting him, and the younger fox wasted no time returning the embrace.

 

Such strong but delicate touch made Gideon’s fur the perfect place for Nick to confess his newly found insecurities.

 

“Gid…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Have you… ever killed someone?”

 

“No, no that I remember of.”

 

“Good, good… and are raccoons real?”

 

“Yes they are.”

 

“And… they still exist?”

 

“At least I think so. Do you know about that famous one?”

 

“Who?”

 

“His name was… Lassy? Sully?”

 

“Oh, yeah, I know him; I think he married a vixen and moved to Europe or something.”

 

Slowly, the exchange of deep growls and each other’s touch soothed them both.

 

“Are we…-are we going extinct?”

 

“No… -not anytime soon, at least.”

 

“Should I-…-should… quit my job?”

 

“If ya’ think you’ll be happier…” Words became more slurred. “…ya said somethin’ ‘bout… ah’ce cream…”

 

“I will… ah… go broke and… live on the street again…”

 

“Ah’ll… adopt ya… we’ll make pa’s together…”

 

“Did Ah… kill my-” Their eyes wouldn’t stay open, yawns interrupted whatever they had to say, their respiration and their heart rate synchronized. “-my dad?”

 

“Of… ca’rs’ not...”

 

They say sleeping next to someone loved encourages feelings of safety and security; I guess it must be true.

 

“…Gid… ya’-…-ya’ can bott’m if ya’ wan’ too…”

 

“…shhhhh… shure…”

 

They could still get another couple of hours of sleep before tackling the day.

 

\---

“Wakey wakey.”

 

Their official awakening wasn’t as stressful; they had time to frisk in bed a little, to talk about what happened earlier _‘(…) and then Bogo didn’t have a face, and Ben was like… dead? And you were there! You didn’t have a face either… but you had a lot of teeth; and then (…)’_ and deem the dream a senseless invention, to have a light brunch…

 

Nick was still feeling a bit uneasy, not so much because of his nightmare, but because it had helped him decide if he should really quit his job; he wouldn’t lose more sleep because of that dichotomy.

 

He didn’t have that much to lose; in layman terms, pros outweighed the cons by a ton.

 

“Gid, wanna come with?”

 

“Where?”

 

“Just a nice Saturday stroll through downtown Zootopia; we haven’t reached your tourist traps quota yet, and maybe I could casually become unemployed…”

 

No matter how careless he made it look, Gideon could easily see right through him by then; Nick _needed_ him there.

 

“Sure! Are we wearing the matching sweaters?”

 

And just like the older fox, Gideon wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

 

Nick had rubbed off on the baker, and after spending quite some quality time together, the soon to be ex officer could do the proper; the pudgy vulpine wouldn’t have said no in any given scenario, and he knew it. Emotional support was something he didn’t know he wanted until he had it.

 

“Good idea; if they see us wearing them they’ll probably kick me out without a word. That’s a plus, right?”

 

It was nice having someone who could make him smile without even trying, and that applied to both of them. Nick wanted that to last, and being a cop was a constant risk; he wouldn’t be appearing in any of those headlines that go _‘Police officer killed in…’_

While Gideon went to change his clothes and try to fix what the furdryer had done to his look the previous night, Nick was in charge of cleaning the kitchen table. On it was Veronica’s letter.

 

He didn’t spare it a second glance; hell, he had been using it as a coaster! At first he had this plan to burn it at a very specific place, as some kind of symbolic act that meant the beginning of a new life and yadda yadda… but that could be interpreted as if it actually meant something to him, and it didn’t.

 

Throwing it in the trash along with his used coffee capsule was more fitting. By the way, the beverage was disappointing; he wasn’t feeling like a famous actor. Like, it was really watered down, and it had a plastic aftertaste, and maybe it was because that was the first time the machine was used, but-

 

“Niiiick! Do you have a comb?”

 

His train of thought was interrupted by Gideon’s question. Which was for the best, because really, **_that_** wasn’t coffee.

 

“Sorry Gid, never needed one! Didn’t we get any yesterday?”

 

“Nope! But we have four different moisturizers…” The ring to their ‘ _we’_ was really captivating. “…your claws aren’t dulled, right?”

 

“Not much; want me to be your comb?”

 

Nick understood his request right away.

 

“Please?”

 

And Gideon didn’t have to ask twice. Not about being treated, at least…

“So… before you said something about me bottoming…?”

 

“Oh, that! See, in my dream, before it turned into a bunch of voices telling me I was worthless, you just wanted to bake and sex, and you found out I had (…)”

 

Throughout the morning, Nick’s nightmare became a casual topic; better not to think too much about nonsense.

\---

And after a brief conversation about Gideon’s bathroom habits and their roles in bed that could be reduced to an exchange of ‘if you want to’s, a final agreement that in reality changed nothing at all, and checking Judy’s most recent texts they went on their way to the ZPD station.

 

The rabbit could be very dramatic when she wanted; it was incredible how many times she told Nick that he was ‘ _BETRAAAAYIIIIIING’_ her and that she would die before going on a six-paragraph essay explaining that she understood that everyone has to advance in life. He assumed she stopped just because she fell asleep…

 

But at least their walk was more pleasant than in Nick’s dream; actual streets outside, a bit of small talk, Gideon commenting on how big everything was, Nick squeezing the badge in his pocket as he pretended what he was about to do wasn’t important, a few mammals going about their lives… and no one following them.

 

The slender fox looked around a couple of times, but the coast was clear; maybe even too clear for a Saturday noon. Not even a single traditional mom glaring at them. He wouldn’t complain, though; better that than been besieged by foxes that hate you.

 

Around fifteen minutes later, there they were… in what seemed to be a ghost precinct. Inside the building they could only spot two officers, and none of them were Clawhauser doing whatever he usually did at his desk. When Nick asked he was directed to Bogo’s office; well, maybe it was better to finish his business there directly… however, the setup was creeping the still-officer out. Maybe something akin to his nightmare had happened?

 

In any case, both foxes ascended the stairs that lead to a new change in, at least, one’s life. And that one tried to count the steps for whatever reason; he was sure there were fewer in his dream…

 

A deep breath, a very quick paw squeeze from Gideon, one last look at his badge… and Nick finally knocked on Bogo’s door.

 

‘ _Please, let this be normal.’_

At first they heard chairs moving, and then not-so-hushed voices.

 

“Is that Jackson?”

 

“No… by the ears… I’d say that’s Wolford.”

 

Those were Bogo and Clawhauser, that was clear; the foxes could see a dark silhouette approaching the door through the laminated glass on it, although the harder part was telling which one of them it was. Knowing what they knew, they came up with a couple of reasons why they might have been in there together…

 

“I should’ve taken more napkins…”

 

Alright, that was Benjamin Clawhauser receiving them; a cheetah that opened the door with his elbows… because?

 

“It’s Nick, chief!”

 

The addressed mammal’s expression went from his usual stern one to… another one equally stern. There was a shift between them, as if he was relieved for some reason, but he stayed serious.

 

“Come on in, both of you! Hurry!”

 

The foxes obliged and observed the scene presented before them; Ben greeted them with his usual combination of a cheerful tone of voice and a never-ending smile as he went back to his seat next to Bogo, and the buffalo practically ignored them as he brought a couple of white boxes on to his desk. It smelled really good in there.

 

“We’re having lunch!”

 

The vulpines could see that; Clawhauser picking his chopsticks after licking his fingers clean kind of helped make everything fall into place. The horned mammal only gave them a quick, suspicious look and opened the laptop in front of him.

 

Finally the one that was there to resign, now somewhat perplexed and amused too, spoke up. “Are we… interrupting something?”

 

The cheetah shook his head and replied between bites with his mouth still full. “I’fz kinda’f zlo’ de’.”

 

Right…

 

Luckily, Bogo decided to talk; first acting as a translator, “It’s kind of a slow day.” and then speaking his own words. “What are you doing here?”

 

In a way he reminded Nick of his nightmare version; of course, being serious was one of his most basic traits, but he appeared to be distracted, not too fazed by the foxes’ appearance, and a tad angry about it.

 

And Clawhauser, being the genius social magnet and a touch gossip he was, picked up almost immediately on what the vulpine officer was thinking just by looking at him. “M’cky’s g’mmp-dy-“ He still had to work a bit on his manners, though.

 

This time, however, Bogo interrupted him. “No I’m not.”

 

Nick was lost; usually he could understand Ben even when he was eating, but it seemed that noodles had something that made his speech even more intelligible. “So-“

 

“He says your chief is grumpy.” Gideon interjected. Why not? He was more at ease than Nick, he didn’t have anything to lose, and as far as he knew he couldn’t go to jail for making a chief of police mad.

 

Both Bogo and Nick looked at him, one trying to pierce his forehead with his gaze, and the other surprised because one, he seemed more comfortable than him even though he knew the other cops better, and two, he understood the cheetah, who just nodded and swallowed the contents in his mouth.

 

_‘Not what I’d call normal, but I guess it could be worse...’_

As long as this installment of Gid’s confidence didn’t end up like Wednesday’s he’d be fine.

 

“We rewatched last year’s Gazelle’s concert, he said that she’s the best artist of this generation, I told him that Catty Perry had won more awards than her but he wouldn’t believe me, and then I told him to Zoogle it-“ The chubbier of the uniformed mammals explained even though he didn’t have to before his partner and superior interjected again, this time showcasing the most forced and menacing grin any of the vulpines had ever seen before, but keeping his neck and head completely straight.

 

“Benny, darling.” That was **_not_** an endearing tone. “Do you want to be framed for mammalslaughter?”

 

It almost looked like he was staring directly at Nick, making it even harder for him to talk. But there was a moment of silence, he could use it. “I’m h-“

 

Or maybe not.

 

“-and he’s been arguing on the internet with fans-“

 

“Ben!”

 

“-and then we ordered Chinese because he loves showing me how good he is with chopsticks and I wanted egg rolls-“

 

“ _Ben!_ ”

 

“-and then we were gonna watch The Prey-tty and the Beast because it calms him down.”

 

“ ** _BEN!_** ”

 

Gideon giggled at Clawhauser’s indiscretion and Bogo’s exasperation, muttering how adorable he thought that was and quickly receiving the cheetah’s feedback: _‘Right?! He’s always like “I’m tough, I’m angry, grrrrr” but in reality he’s sooo sweeeet!’_

For some reason, whenever the older fox found himself in an awkward situation, the younger one was better at dealing with it. Nick couldn’t deny it was comforting, but he was supposed to be the cunning charlatan; it almost made him jealous… his excuse for his lack of eloquence that time was that he was about to take an important step.

On the other hoof, even the buffalo’s horns had turned red; who knows what was going through his head, but it appeared to be burning and about to explode. The worst thing was that Nick was the only mammal right in front his widened eyes, hopefully he wouldn’t become his first victim…

 

However, the whole scene distracted Nick from his original task long enough as to let a tiny piece of mind slip out.

 

_“You are better at this than us.”_

 

He wasn’t addressing anyone in particular, but he won the other three mammals’ attention.

 

Surely each one of them interpreted that sentence in their own way, probably didn’t even pay much mind…

 

“That’s because we’ve been longer at it…” Bogo started, exhaling deeply first; perhaps he took it seriously? It wasn’t hard to figure out what Nick meant, but he didn’t expect his boss to reply to something like that… maybe he didn’t choose the right time to show up. “…if you don’t run away after he asks you to clean his bellybutton lint with a fork, that’s real love.”

 

Oh! Who knew the laconic buffalo could be both romantic and petty! Well, _romantic_ might be a stretch… he even got an offended _‘hey!’_ from Clawhauser, followed by an ‘ _awww’,_ with good reason.

 

But at least he was smirking! Alright, Nick wasn’t about to get murdered, Macario seemed more calm after such abrupt introduction; this was his chance.

 

“Chief.”

 

He was determined, he had made his mind, he was sure this was what he wanted.

 

“Wilde?”

 

In fact, he wasn’t that nervous anymore; being reminded that Bogo had feelings too made things easier. Time didn’t stop, he had three sets of eyes focused on him and he didn’t care… stalling would only make things more dramatic.

 

“I came here today…” He looked at Gideon one last time; it wasn’t _for_ him he was doing this, but _thanks_ _to_ him.  “…to resign.”

 

…

 

“Okay.”

 

‘Okay.’ Was that all the buffalo had to say? Nick was the _first_ fox that became a police officer, he was quitting his job, and all his chief had to say was ‘okay’?! This time he didn’t even sound angry… had he been psyching up for nothing?

 

“Did you bring your badge with you?”

 

“Uh… yeah.” The disconcerted fox reached in his pocket and placed it on Bogo’s desk.

 

“Alright, you’ll have to sign a couple of files. You can print them yourself, they’re-“

 

“That’s it?”

 

No, no; no, this wasn’t right. He wasn’t receiving the tongue-lashing he expected… hell, not even Clawhauser, or for that matter, Gideon, was paying attention anymore! They were talking to each other:

 

_‘And how’s Nick treating you?’_

_‘He’s great, but I think he’s spoiling me (…)’_

 

“You sound disappointed, Nick.” Was he serious? He was mocking him, wasn’t he?!

 

The buffalo addressing him by his first name didn’t help; why wasn’t he… being himself?

 

_‘Enjoy it while it lasts, now you’re on the cutest part; you’re even starting to sound like Nick!’_

_‘Really?’_

This wasn’t right! What, he wasn’t important enough as to be told not to do it?! Didn’t he deserve the respect that-

 

Wait.

 

Why was he complaining? Wasn’t this what he wanted? His chief wasn’t making a big deal out of it… and he wouldn’t either, even if it hurt his pride a little… where did his slyness go?

 

See? The thing about being in love and having Gideon was that he didn’t need to pretend, he didn’t need to be Slick-Nick all the time, and it seemed that he was becoming softer.

 

But, he wasn’t in love with his chief.

 

Once Nick realized, the expression everyone knew came back full force; half-lidded eyes, sardonic grin, paws behind his back, tail relaxed… back to being suave.

 

“Actually, yes; I thought you’d beg a little, maybe try to convince me to stay with a raise…”

 

“I can’t force you to stay, and doing that wouldn’t be ethical.”

 

He was serious, he admitted little to no misdoings, and his sense of justice was almost unbreakable. But Macario Bogo was smart; he could play Nick’s game if he wanted.

 

_‘Are you guys here alone?’_

_‘Pretty much; most officers are in Canal supporting precinct 4.’_

 

“How ethical is it to eat and watch movies during working hours?”

 

“I’d give you an excuse, but I don’t have to; now, if you want to talk about ethics, your friend the speedster still has his license. Would you care to explain why? Your reports about him are always very cryptic.”

 

He had a point there; was Nick losing his touch?

 

_‘Something happened?’_

_‘There’s a festival this weekend and security was lacking; Macky said he wouldn’t leave Savannah unprotected and the mayor didn’t like that (…)’_

 

“Sir, with all due respect, maybe you should test your visi-“

 

“He’s also a DMV worker, isn’t he? What a coincidence that you cannot get near a car by yourself, but he’s still out there, and if we’re going to talk about your mishaps-“

 

Oh, yes; whatever they were doing, Nick was losing. Darn Gideon for being nice and making him nice and who was he fooling he loved it… but his rhetoric was getting rusty.

 

_‘(…) he kinda crossed him and well, long story short, he was forced to send the majority of his men there. No one’s come with stab wounds this morning, so I decided we could take some time to ourselves.’_

_‘That sounds nice.’_

Blessed be the act of eavesdropping.

 

“Excuse me, did I just heard that you, chief of police Macario Bogo, doesn’t get along with the mayor AND is neglecting his position by spending time with his-“

 

“ ** _You_** are leaving because you found a-“

 

However, one of their spectators wasn’t having fun with their banter, and he didn’t want the other one to experience the same. Ben didn’t know Gideon very well, but he had rightfully struck him as the clueless type, if his outburst at Bug Burga was any indication; though that case was a bit more complicated…

 

Anyhow, just like Nick and Gideon had been affecting each other by unknowingly changing their behaviors, Clawhauser and Bogo had acquired some of the other’s traits too.

 

“Nick.”

 

The buffalo had given himself permission to get in touch with his most tender side.

 

“Yes?”

 

And the cheetah, while kind and at times absent-minded, knew perfectly how to intimidate whoever tried to step on his turf.

 

“Enough.”

 

After all, he was at the top of the food chain in that office; he knew very well when to roar.

 

He had been listening to the others’ exchange too, and at first it was mildly entertaining. Nick was leaving, he was doing his thing being sarcastic and all that, but he saw how potentially ugly things could get once Bogo started playing along. And if he knew him well, and he did, he never played just for the sake of it.

 

“C’mon Ben, we’re just-“

 

It didn’t matter if it was Nick or his chief trying to tell him they were just joking; it was about to stop.

 

“I said **_enough_** , you two.”

 

And it seemed to work; Nick and Macario ceased at once, and politely went back to the original topic at hand.

 

“So… uh… you said I have to sign some files?”

 

“Yes… I think I have a copy here somewhere…”

 

Gideon felt as a stranger at the moment, but he wouldn’t complain; Clawhauser had gotten to him too… though he liked what he saw; it reminded the baker of the idea of him Nick said he had. _‘Soft and sweet on the outside, brave and strong on the inside.’_ But he didn’t think he was that… _assertive_.

The chubbier mammals went back to their conversation as if nothing had happened too.

 

_‘So, the festival is all about indie folk postmodern vegetarian experimental… something. I don’t like it, but this side of the city is deserted. I mean, if I wanted to get in touch with myself I’d ask the guy from the naturalist club for some of his homebrew tea (…)’_

_‘…you lost me at “indie”.’_

Whatever Bogo could have said, he wasn’t happy letting Nick go; yes, he had flaws just like everyone else does, but he saw potential in his past experiences. He had heard about them third hand, in the form of rumors spread through the precinct after the fox joined them, and the buffalo took it upon himself to put an end to them.

 

There were many things he could have told Nick, but time ago Judy left the ranks too and then she came back. He wouldn’t question the fox’s reasons; he knew better than to talk about someone who was right in front of him, but hell, he’d miss him… at least he livened up the station from time to time, even if he earned his colleagues’ animadversion.

 

After that, everything happened quite fast; they bid their goodbyes, they exchanged hugs, Gideon was bestowed the task of taking care of Nick, the idea of going out for drinks to mourn Nick’s departure was turned down because the cops were forced to stay until the festival ended… they’d keep it intimate; not all coworkers turn into friends, but even so, they just couldn’t.

 

Before they realized, they were walking back to Nick’s apartment.

_“So you have a driver’s license?”_

_“I had no choice, it was mandatory back in the academy; I don’t know how valid it is, though. My instructor ignored my 40 minutes of crying and screaming death.”_

_“If you want a reminder you can hop on my truck any time…”_

_“If that’s some kind of innuendo sure, I’ll make your truck my summer residence, Gid; if you mean it literally, I must remit you to ‘crying and screaming death’.”_

 

They thought about paying Judy a visit, maybe take revenge for her eclectic visit the previous night, but they decided against; at least she asked before going.

 

What was left for them to do? There wasn’t anything open nearby where they could finally buy detergent in case any of them remembered about the pile of clothes in Nick’s washing machine, the only places available were a few cafes and establishments of the sort but spending money there would be a real waste, and dark clouds were adorning the greyish sky with threats of soaking them to the bones.

 

Even so, all that meant that they could at last enjoy their most domestic day: gratuitous nudity, nice meals, loafing around, both idle and wholesome conversations, body contact… it could have been the perfect day.

 

But there’s always a _but_.

 

“Nick… do you know of any trains… leaving tomorrow night?”

 

A _but_ they had been ignoring until then.

 

“What? Why?”

 

At least Nick did.

 

“I have to work, Nick… I wanted to stay longer, but the Hopps have been texting me, they’ve been taking my orders all week…”

 

Where was this coming from? What kind of vacation is that in which you’re pressured to go back to work?!

 

“But...” _Fuck that,_ “…that’s not fair...” _fuck the Hopps,_ “…do you really have to leave?”

 

Nick had forgotten that, originally, Gideon would only be his temporary guest.

 

“You said we wouldn't worry about things until they happened... and… I didn’t want to think about it…”

 

Gideon had been happier than ever in Zootopia, even if his stay had extreme up and downs; and he, too, tried to forget he had to go back.

 

“...I did say that...”

 

God damn his philosophy.

 

“…I’m sorry, Nick.”

 

 _Did they become too codependent in such short amount of time_? 

 

“No, no… you haven’t done anything wrong, Gid... I can't do anything to stop you, can I?”

_Probably, but did they care?_

 

“I wish you could...”

 

_Absolutely not._

 

“Fuck… me too…”

 

_The problem comes when one cannot turn the other’s wishes into orders, and fears disappointment, pain, regressing to what they were before…_

_What they were before…_

_What **he** was before…_

 

Nick wasted no time looking up Zootopia’s train station schedules; if Gideon had to leave, he wouldn’t stop him. He didn’t like it, but it was the baker’s duty, right? Nick wouldn’t make it harder for him to do so, even if he didn’t have to protect and serve anymore.

 

_‘He said night…’_

 

It wasn’t like he didn’t have other skills.

 

“There's one that leaves at 3:00 a.m. Is that okay?”

 

“Yeah, that one’s fine.”

 

“Why so… early? Late?”

 

“I don't want anyone to know I'm there just yet when I arrive.”

 

“Are you thinking about hiding?”

 

Gideon was curled into a ball of fluff on the older fox’s couch, all the while unable to look at Nick’s face; he felt like a coward, waiting until the last moment to tell him he was leaving. Why did he do it? So Nick wouldn’t do anything crazy to stop him? But again, what was the point in reminding him he wouldn’t stay forever? They already knew that.

 

No choice felt right, and neglecting his life in Bunny Burrows would be even worse.

 

“No, it's not that... but after what's happened here I think I'm gonna need some time to... adapt back to my routine...”

 

Nick could understand that. Gideon had always been more tamed, almost literally, and the week he spent with the ex-officer had set him on the path of change. Going back to his inflexible life, and even more, without Nick... it would be _hard_.

 

Inject a person with heroine for a week straight, and then ask them what is what they want the most.

 

Gideon had learnt he could make his own choices, that he didn't have to spend his entire life repenting for his past mistakes, that there were more consequences to his acts than he thought and they didn't have to be negative, that freedom could be just a _'goodbye'_ away and happiness wouldn't be there if you didn't let it... fuck, he had learnt to respect and feel good with himself, perhaps with a little help, and he wouldn’t deny Nick had something to do with everything.

 

But still, he was Gideon Grey; the pie fox from Bunny Burrows. The one that had changed Nick's life for the best in a week more than his family did in three decades, the one that unknowingly told him having more than just one emotion is okay, the one that taught him that admitting he was scared didn't make him weaker... 

 

Gideon, who made Nick think he deserved the world every time he talked; and Nick, who believed the world wouldn't be enough to show him how much he was worth.

 

Nick, who burst Gideon's bubble and heard everything he had to say; and Gideon, who listened to each and every word Nick ripped off his soul.

 

What they learnt together, what they learnt about each other, what they found within themselves, what they had been through…

 

What they did, what they didn’t, what they wanted to do, what they’d be willing to do…

 

Laughing, and crying, and doing everything else in the fine line between together...

 

After all, it had been a good week.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

**_'Fuck, this can't be over.'_ **

****

**_…_ **

 

[Judy, I need a favor]  <\- 23:44

 

23: 47-> [Another one? Jeez]

 

[This time it's not for me, it's for Gideon] <\- 23:48

 

23: 49-> [Ok ok, what is it? you creep me out when you type correctly]

 

[Can you take him to the station tomorrow? Before 3 in the morning] <\- 23:50

 

23: 51-> [To the zpd??]

 

[No, the train station] <\- 23:51

 

23: 52-> [Is he going back to the Burrows?]

 

[Yes] <\- 23:52

 

23: 54-> [I guess I can… but you owe me several explanations]

 

[Ok, thank you

 

And I need your help with something else] <\- 23:55

 

23: 57 -> [What is it?]

 

**_…_ **

 

_That would be a sleepless night for the foxes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think of Kendrick's new album? I mean, coming from TPAB and Untitled, unmastered it's a drastic change, but cool nonetheless. It's kinda sad that HUMBLE. is his first song reaching 100M views given it's far from his best, but you know how it goes with talent and hype and popularity... anyway, the chapter, more to come, things happen... like, you should know that. Unless this is your first, in which case you must know I still like GKMC better, but this is the thirteenth. Where have you been? I thought we were friends...


	14. Well, shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(

Morning. Was it morning? Who cared? Gray clouds threatened with continuing what they began the previous day and the sunrays could do little against them. If you looked out your window you could see it was daytime, but Nick and Gideon were too focused on their own little worlds teetering to pay attention to whatever was going on outside.

It didn’t matter if they were lying in bed, sitting down or standing up; their minds were hazy, their eyes lost in whatever distracted them from each other, and their mouths completely shut. What could they say? One could apologize, say it was bound to happen or ask if he’d have to go alone to the train station; the other could tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that he wished he didn’t have to leave or pretend it wasn’t a big deal. But given their lack of sleep, their tongues would probably slip and say something they surely didn’t mean, and they couldn’t risk that.

A word that could define that day? Agony. Equivalent to looking at your phone for sixteen hours straight to avoid someone, although that someone was more of an executioner that’d take the other away from them than the own foxes.

Overdramatic? Absolutely, but they didn’t even know when they’d meet again. Sure, they’d keep in touch… but would that be enough? Let’s say you were adrift in the ocean and that someone rescued you and let you spend some time in their ship, but after a week there you’re thrown back into the water, though this time you’re given a pair of floaties; the outcome is that, with such scarce support, you’ll eventually drown. The sailor told you you’d see them again, but the two of you belong to land; in due time, both would be lost to the merciless sea.

You get the allegory, right?

Still, there was some time before the passengers bid their goodbyes; they’d have to exchange some words.

_“Judy said she’ll drive you to the station.”_

_“You won’t be coming?”_

_“I don’t know… yet.”_

And each one poked a hole in their water wings.

_“I can lend you a suitcase-“_

_“Wha-“_

_“You… still have clothes in my washing machine; you shouldn’t mix them with your clean ones.”_

_“Oh… okay, thank you.”_

They both agreed that being angry or sad, while been understandable, made things harder; but in that situation they couldn’t avoid it. It was ridiculous; they had gone from a best, unique friend level of trustworthiness and familiarity to awkward strangers in a matter of hours.

But… that was idiotic. It was idiotic and they realized; were they really going to spend their last hours together dwelling on self-pity? Thinking about how much they’d miss the other when they had each other right there? Fuck no; it was their reality, but they couldn’t let that bring them down when their goal was to make the most of their time - like a prisoner who’s been given one last day of freedom before going back to jail.

“I’m gonna start packing, and I guess I’ll have to shower before leaving… wanna join me?”

Gideon took the first step, which really said a lot about what he was feeling. It was quite daring to do something like that while feeling so guilty.

“I’d love to say yes, but I’d love to smell like you a little longer… for like a week or so… at least.”

And Nick’s change of heart was palpable too; he wasn’t the weepy type, and the last thing he wanted was making his Gid feel worse.

Without any previous warning he found himself between the other’s arms.

“Promise me you’ll shower after I leave.”

It wasn’t the sweetest thing you could whisper into anyone’s ear, but Nick saw a different meaning behind that sentence.

“No way,” He actively tried to bury himself in the baker’s neck, squeezing him to the point of feeling the pudgy fox’s torso pressing against his injured ribs. But he couldn’t care any less. “I’m not gonna change the sheets in a month or two, and I’ll spend every single day smelling your pillow and looking at the pictures we took together.”

“Awww,” At the very least… “that’s creepy.” …they still had their sense of humor.

That hug lasted for minutes, minutes they spent silently appreciating what they had gained, what they had made each other experience; but when it ended it seemed like the most fleeting instant, like another grain of sand in their hourglass. No one had the courage to say ‘I miss you’, especially because it was too early to say it even if they wanted; on the bright side, they weren’t scared to look into the other’s eyes anymore. They could read each other’s body language; they didn’t have to articulate much to understand.

One look, one half-hearted smile, the imperative necessity of touching the other… yeah, it was ridiculous, but it was happening. They could spend the entire day completely still, simply holding hands in the middle of the living room, avoiding all and every clock around them, yet time wouldn’t stop. They couldn’t pause reality.

“I’ma get you that suitcase.”

Whether they liked it or not, they had to move on… though perhaps Nick could fit inside the suitcase.

In any case, they had things to do before catching that train; stuff to pack, an apartment to clean, maybe go out for lunch, tell Judy when to pick them up, take a nap… nothing emotionally heavy so their most recent memory of each other would be undoubtedly pleasant.

\---

Did it work? Who knows; everything they did that day was a distraction, constantly trying to push back the thoughts they had been having since Gideon asked about the train station schedules. But there they were; it was past midnight, Judy was taking them to Savanna and the trip was tense. Not tense like the one to Charles’s place, but still… not too fun. Mostly silent, the ones riding shotgun looking around; Gideon taking mental pictures of his surroundings and Nick trying to follow the other’s gaze’s lead. No… none of the trio’s movements seemed natural; even Judy was nervous and she wasn’t really losing anything, she’d go to the Burrows in a couple of weeks. However, I read somewhere that if people are close their heartbeats synchronize.

_“Wish I could’ve shown you more… do you like monuments? We could go visit some, take pictures I’ll try to delete afterwards, go on one of those terrible tours that end in a gift shop and buy a lot of key chains you don’t even want…”_

_“Yeah… maybe next time.”_

_“You sure you packed everything? What if we go back and check-?”_

_“Nick…”_

_“…yeah, okay.”_

Reaching the station didn’t take long; for some reason the rabbit ignored Nick when he asked her if they could take a detour around the Meadowlands, go figure. All she said was that she’d wait for Nick in the truck so the foxes could bid their goodbyes in peace.

And there they were, standing side by side looking at the train tracks, suppressing sighs and unsure of what to do with their paws; in a few minutes Gideon would go back to his normal life, and Nick… would have to find new ways to spend his time. At the moment they had none to waste; they cut to the chase.

“Maybe it’s a bad time to tell you this, but I…”

Gideon took the first step once again, just like he did that morning, although this time he sounded way more insecure. Not because he didn’t know what to say, his words were being held back only by his tongue, but he didn’t know how Nick would react.

“Yooou… were kidding and just wanted to go for a walk? Because there are better ways to-“

The baker loved when the older fox joked; he had learned that that was his main way of showing appreciation… and some other emotions, it all depended on the situation.

“I’ve been thinking about moving in here with you.”

But he wanted to get that off his chest.

“Oh…”

It really caught Nick off guard; for the first time that day since they woke up his eyelids weren’t blocking his vision. Had he caused such an impact on the younger fox? What should he feel? In any other occasion he’d have loved to hear that, but at that moment such words made him feel powerless; maybe he could have somehow made Gideon stay if he had done something differently? Fuck… that entire day felt like a waste of time; he was trying to take the spotlight away from what he thought was the most important, yet-

“Please, say somethi-”

“You could’ve said that earlier.”

Nick sounded tired… no, scratch that; he was tired. He was sleepless, just like Gideon, and - well, he would have wanted to hear that sooner.

You’d think that a place like a train station would be empty at such wee hours, but you’d be wrong; metropolis like those never sleep, and the benches there served as beds for a few homeless mammals. In the distance different footsteps could be heard, surely belonging to others who had places to go. Nick restrained himself – well, in reality he seemed apathetic to everything, still and quiet… perhaps he didn’t have anything to hold back, perhaps he did before but not anymore. However, Gideon did; he had something to restrain, but at the bare minimum, he didn’t as much as the other. He settled for reprising what he did that morning, though this time his embrace wasn’t reciprocated.

“You don’t know how much I’m going to miss you… I’m sorr-“

“No.”

The situation was awkward to say the least, even more than their accidental hug the day the met; not even a week had passed, they were just a couple of feet away from that spot, but things couldn’t have changed more.

“…no?”

“Don’t you fucking dare make me cry. Not here, not like this.”

Whatever they were thinking, whatever they were going to say next was lost to the heavy sound of the vehicle they were waiting for.

Gideon quickly broke their touch and picked both his own and the borrowed suitcase; for the first time since he arrived, he truly felt like he shouldn’t be there.

“I… I guess it’s time.”

He didn’t think their farewell would be so bitter.

“Yeah…”

Only the one that pronounced that last word got to hear it

Nick didn’t even look at him; maybe he didn’t want Gideon’s last sight of him to affect him more than it should, maybe he didn’t want to see the baker. His state wasn’t too different from the ex-officer’s, who started to break down as soon as the other turned around, and no one had to see two crying foxes; even less when they didn’t want to be seen.

One wouldn’t look back, and the other didn’t want to stay and see the other leave.

God, what a mess.

\---

Nick had bought Gideon’s ticket online, and the coach he entered was completely empty; not even an inspector was nearby, which meant he didn’t have to entirely repress his inner turmoil. We all want to look tough in front of strangers we think are constantly judging us. Looking out the window wouldn’t do him any good either; he just picked a seat at random and let his weight fall onto it, unceremoniously dropping his baggage at his feet and letting a long sigh escape his lungs.

“Fuck.” He was tired too.

All in all, it had been a good week for the most part: he laughed, he cried, he got to punch someone, he met someone he could never forget, he experienced things he never thought he’d ever do and even less enjoy, and he discovered new things about himself. Gideon had changed, he had grown, he had evolved… but it was time to go back to his routine, and he knew he wouldn’t have the chance to be his new self there. Back to his fixed schedule, to sleep alone in his own bed, to the anodyne conversations with his customers… shit, what if he finally got rid of his accent? Who ever spoke like he did in the Burrows? Would mammals there have something to say about it?

_‘Look at the fox, goes to the city once and now thinks he’s better than everybody.’_

_‘What, did you see all the lights there and didn’t want to be a redneck anymore?’_

_‘Stop talking like that, you’re not fooling anyone; you’re still the same hick.’_

They wouldn’t like that. They didn’t want that. They didn’t want Gideon Grey. Nobody wanted him.

Could he at least text Nick? Would that be fine? Maybe he’d have to ask Judy about him from then on… no, that would be too sinister.

“God… Ah’m pathetic.”

The doors closed, and right when he thought he was going to hear the engine starting up and the coach sliding on the rails, he heard static.

_“Uh… ah, yes…”_ It was the PA system. _“We’re… experiencing technical issues. Stay put and… thanks for your understanding?”_

Great. Even more fun. Woohoo. _Trapped in a train sobbing quietly against my paw_ , the movie. Gideon just wanted to get this over with, go home and rest… and even if at the time his mind was invaded by the thought of him doing Nick wrong and probably never seeing him again, he could tell that whoever was using the intercom-

_“No, no; I meant sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.”_

-should be fired.

_“Uh… yeah, that’s it.”_

That probably was the engineer.

In his state Gideon would love to break his face. It probably wasn’t his fault, but it’d be relieving; he sounded like a raccoon or an otter at best. He could pick him up by his slippery neck and choke him a little; maybe that’d fix that squeaky voice of his. Since when could tweens drive trains? That dipshit made him furious; who the hell did he think he was?! Why did he have to wait?! Do your fucking job! _‘Ah’ll smash yo’r fuckin’ head into wat’ever shit ya use to drive this thing. If ya’ still have teef ba’ the time we get’ta Burrows ya’ win.’_

_…_

God… what was he even thinking?

Gideon… didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to be there, he didn’t want to leave, he couldn’t leave Nick like that… he didn’t deserve that, and he didn’t deserve him… who even does that?! _“Hey, I’m leaving tomorrow night. Find me a train?”_ Fuck the Hopps, fuck the bakery, fuck everything! What was he supposed to do?! It was too late, he shouldn’t have said anything! He **_knew_** he had lost Nick!

“Ahm’a fuckin’ idiot!”

And like that, in less than three minutes, Gideon went over everything he thought he had done wrong. He couldn’t stand himself: he had destroyed the best he had ever had, and he wouldn’t blame Nick if he hated him.

“Uh… is it a bad time?”

Yeah Nick, it is! Can’t you see – wait. _Wait, no_. **What.** **_No._** **_What?_** **No** , **_no no._** _Wait_ , **what?** **_What?_**

“I can… go to another car and come ba-“

Gideon turned around. Gideon saw him. Gideon ran.

The pudgy fox tackled and lifted the other one by his waist, almost hitting his head against the ceiling; the baker was trying to say something, hard to hear due to the mix of hysteric laughter and sobbing and the fact that his muzzle was pressed against Nick’s belly, but knowing him he was probably apologizing for something he didn’t actually do.

Eventually Nick was allowed to stand on his feet again, and the picture before him made him understand that his plan had worked; perhaps a little too well. He wanted to make Gideon suffer – well, not suffer **_suffer_** , maybe ruffle his feathers just a little so their farewell wouldn’t be completely meaningless… but he overdid it; his idea of adding some suspense to the mix turned the younger vulpine into a mess of tears and regret. He had seen that before and he hated it; and this time he was the cause, making his hatred more intense because he was the only one at fault and he had no excuse.

In short, he fucked up.

“I… I’m sorry… I really am, I thought – I thought we… I… I thought this would be different. Gideon, I-”

Still, Nick’s remorse didn’t tell the baker what was going on.

“W-what are ya’ doin’ here?” He slurred holding back a hiccup, making noises that were either really nasal sobs or a kind of unsettling laugh.

Right.

Instead of answering right away, the ex-officer fell silent and did his best to clean the other’s face, carefully sliding his paw pads over his cheeks in an attempt to dry what was his fault and trying to make his fur as neat as possible while trying to calm the other down. He had caused Gideon’s weeping, at the very least he had to fix it; no apology he could think of was good enough, and there wasn’t much else he could do.

The pudgy fox put his paws on top of the slenderer ones and squeezed them.

It wasn’t the kind of squeeze that says _‘it’s okay, I understand.’_ He wanted Nick to stop.

“No, really; why are ya’ here?”

Damn, it was almost as if the younger fox could see right through the other’s ruse to gain time. Wasn’t he crying his eyes out a second ago? Yeah he was, but he could get serious when the situation required so; Nick knew that well.

The thing is he thought his plan would pan out differently; he’d get in, Gideon would love it and everything would be okay… but in reality, if the baker kept tightening his paws, he’d break his fingers.

For the first time the plump vulpine made Nick feel true fear; not even his nonchalance when he faced Charles fazed the ex-officer so much, and he knew very well what he was capable of. His jaw began shaking, a drop of sweat ran down his brow, and his brain froze completely; he didn’t know if Gideon would hurt him or not, but at the time he felt like he had been cornered by a bigger predator. And it was all his fault.

Fuck it, he had no choice; he’d be honest.

“I’m going to the Burrows with you.”

He was having second thoughts when he sneaked into the train; he couldn’t think of anything else when the baker confronted him. What prompted such change of heart was the exact same doubt, _“should I really do this?”_ but from two different perspectives; the first involved the plump fox not needing him, the second involved the very same mammal not wanting him. The thing is, the second one didn’t offer any alternatives; fear led to sincerity.

“…what?”

Gideon was not expecting that; his face went blank, his eyes ignored the excessive wetness and quickly focused on the mammal in front of him, and the thought of thoroughly cleaning his ears jolted through his neurons before they were assaulted once again with what confirmed his hearing was okay. His sense of smell reinforced Nick’s words; he was scared, a wrong move away from going into a panic.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m unemployed and I don’t have much to do here, and maybe leaving the city for the first time in my life can be, uh, beneficial… I think I need a change of airs… so, why not? ” The plump fox thought, I don’t know, that maybe he’d try to stop him… “Only if you’re okay with that, though… but I think I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked up big time; I- I thought we didn’t have to, just- I didn’t want to say goodbye just yet…” …but no, Nick wanted to go to a place he hadn’t heard many if any good things of, where he’d be even more looked down on, with him. “And I thought you didn’t either, and since you- you have to leave I could… I wanted to go with you. And I want! I still want! I told Judy, a-and she’s been helping me set this up and talking to people, and-“

 “…really?”

_For him._

Gideon couldn’t avoid seeing himself in Nick, a part of himself at least, and he didn’t like it.

The pudgy fox changed his grip on the slenderer one’s hands; he could see what he was going through, none of them wanted to hurt the other. It all had been a big misunderstanding. Now Gideon’s paws were the ones caressing Nick’s face trying to alleviate what both had caused, and the older vulpine’s trembled as they reached the wider wrists, not so scared of what they could do to him anymore but to make sure they were really there.

“Yeah… you’ve seen my place, and I thought I could see yours…”

It was some type of role reversal; Nick was the nervous and insecure one, and Gideon had the power to make a choice. It didn’t feel good. All that pressure, Nick seeing him in his natural habitat, judging the way he lived; and Nick… god, he was twitching, he didn’t even dare to look the other in the eye. There was no time to blame anyone or to ask about what they already knew; Gideon was the one in charge and he had one thing to say.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes! Yeh, absolut’ly!”

The pressure of deciding what Nick would do didn’t feel good; living with Nick again, on the other hand, was delightful. They knew quite a bit about each other by then, a messy apartment wouldn’t scare anyone away. Besides, they had grown too accustomed to each other; a cold turkey would turn into an angry bitch real quick.

Their reaction was what you’d expect, similar to Gideon’s when he saw Nick standing behind his seat, only this time cheers of joy intertwined with apologies and their weeping was mostly subdued, but some tears were shed as well, if anything else, to keep the theme constant. Although, in this occasion, they had witnesses.

“Gid, look.”

The pudgy fox unenthusiastically obliged, not really feeling like looking at something that wasn’t his favorite mammal, and fixated his gaze on the window Nick’s finger was pointing at, and…

…oh.

Judy and Clawhauser were standing outside, one of them waving and the other swooning and gesturing so wildly his arms seemed to be trying to escape his body.

Well, since they already had an audience and their capacity to feel shame was severely dulled, why not put on a good show? They’d have to somehow compensate for going back to the sad side.

Gideon grabbed Nick by his cheeks and smooched his muzzle in the most exaggerated manner he could, but what started as a joke slowly turned into a dip kiss that ended with Nick holding onto his back almost desperately, trying to reach closer to the other’s body; the baker really did have it in him, and the ex-officer didn’t want it to end. Deep down Gideon didn’t either, but the crowd was responsive. _And to think they could have ended on such a bad note…_

They could hear a voice before looking up again, and it wasn’t Judy’s; the cheetah was screaming something that sounded like _“DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT’S WAS SO CUTE, GOD, SO FUCKING CUTE!”_ Then they heard another voice, probably one of the vagrants that slept at the station complaining about the noise; they could only guess since Clawhauser’s response was _“SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. THERE’S LOVE HAPPENING HERE. ONE MORE WORD AND I’LL SHOOT YOU.”_

Whoa… they had to stop before killer Benny there murdered someone for some second base action.

Nick gave Judy a thumbs up, she nodded and said something they didn’t get to hear to someone who was outside the foxes’ field of view, and the PA system was on once again.

_“Uh… right… we can leave now, everything’s okay. We’re leaving now. Yeah… yeah, to Bunny Burrows…”_

And after everything he had seen, there wasn’t much Gideon had to ask. “So you’ve done all this?” He wasn’t really incredulous since he knew what Nick was capable of, but it meant a lot; Nick never hated him, not for leaving, not for saying he had thought about really living with him, and furthermore he was willing to drop everything and follow Gideon blindly… besides, aren’t train delays a big deal?

Well, they did learn one thing from all this; they’re bad with surprises. A _“hey Gid! I’m coming with you!”_ would have been easier, but no, they went the dramatic way.

“Yep, I know some corrupt cops who’d do anything for money.”

“You do?”

“Yes…” No. “…or maybe I have friends with badges that want to stay at my place while I’m gone.” Gideon was going to add something, but before he could utter a word, Nick stopped his mouth from moving with a finger that tickled and danced on his lips.

“Gid-“ But first he had to make sure of something. “Wait, are we good? I mean… are you still mad at me? I still feel like shit but-“

It was the baker’s turn to stop the other, and he used the exact same move Nick did. “Bwe’re bood, filly fox.”

If he understood that correctly, there was no problem between them. Alright, he could proceed.

“Bid, chu know that thing chu chust did?”

The only thing he could be referring to was the kiss that made Clawhauser threaten a stranger, so yes, he did; he nodded, his curious peepers enchanted by the other’s sleepy eyes and his heart resonating fervidly deep within his ribcage.

Nick inched closer to the baker’s left ear, freeing his mouth from the finger jail the plump vulpine put it in, and whispered “you’re lucky we’re alone in this wagon.”

Gideon didn’t know how to take that… did he make a mistak-

“It’s not appropriate to make me hard in front of our friends.”

Oh! Well, it was fair; Nick made Gideon cry, and Gideon blue balled him. For once he wouldn’t apologize… much.

“And now, if you excuse me, I have to make a few calls and tell Judy she should change the sheets if she’s gonna sleep in my bed… that’ll sure make me flaccid.”

They wouldn’t dare do anything more risqué for several reasons, among them was the possibility of being recorded by some kind of security camera. They wouldn’t want to find a video of themselves on the internet with a title like _‘Perverted foxes tarnish the purity and cleanliness of Zootopia’s public transportation’_ or _‘HOT FOXES FUCKING HARD IN TRAIN.’_

\---

The trip wasn’t anything too otherworldly; Nick had kept himself awake during the day thanks to his new coffee machine, but the moments prior to putting his plan into action his stomach started punching him from inside and his joints began vibrating, so he resorted to his almost depleted tube of analgesics to calm down. As soon as the train began moving, the pills kicked in and he found in Gideon a plush cot that couldn’t stop thinking about how much his older counterpart purred. Do foxes even purr? Yeah, apparently they do; but before reaching that state between complete unconsciousness and lethargic alertness, they got to say a couple of things.

“Not even a week since we met and y’already movin’ in with me.”

It was too late for the baker; he had become a slave to non-aggressive irony.

“We’re gonna buy the cutest tablecloths for our loft, darling.”

I’d say the thing that had united them the most would be that they didn’t take themselves too seriously, at least when they were together; it’s something uncommon, when you click with someone and what others would consider disrespectful, insufferable or even hurtful turns into your pride and joy.

“Nick, is yo’r phone vibratin’?” The slender fox’s shaking was making his belly tremble too, and they couldn’t blame it on the train; even his luggage was completely still.

“No… that would be me.”

“Are ya nervous?”

“Nah, I sweat when I’m nervous; I’m pretty sure is just a caffeine overdose killing me.” Oh, well; no problem then. “And you? Are you nervous?” He didn’t need to ask, the plump vulpine’s tongue slips gave it away.

“A little… Ah guess-“ Gideon realized why Nick asked and corrected himself, slowing his words down to make sure his accent wouldn’t show up. “I guess my body knows we’re going back home.”

Nick knew what he was referring to. “I’ll kill the bunnies.”

“What?”

“I’ll kill them, I’ll be your bodyguard… I’ll eat them if they get too close.”

It didn’t help that he downed the pills with a shot, but that was Nick Wilde, a hardcore badass… that actually was more afraid of thousands upon thousands of Judys than anything else.

“Alright murderer, but iss’not that. It’s more like… what Ah’m used to.”

And the baker’s brain seemed to be in a similar state; he tried to muffle them, but the thoughts of the whole Hopps family assaulting him and Nick with questions and having customers commenting on the new fox insisted on reverting him to his pre Zootopia visit self.

“I’ll get you used to something else.” The ex-officer tried his best at… flirting? It sounded more like a soft threat, like an assertive carny telling you you’ll win a prize if you visit their stand. “Wait, are there any family members I have to meet?” And quickly his tone shifted to that of a drug dealer asking his customers if they were narcs, all while lying on the pudgy fox’s lap not moving a muscle; voluntarily, at least.

Gideon didn’t have to think too long. “Do the Hopps count?”

“Yeah? I met a bunch of them through a Skype call once… they all knew my name and one of the first things they asked me was if I had been eating better.”

“Ya’ll get used to it.” Yeah, Nick was anxious like a puppy on the fourth of July, and there was one thing he did when he was truly keyed up: he talked.

“Look, I…” His mouth was dry and his eyelids were heavy as lead; it was impossible to tell if it was the death cocktail he had or the anxiousness that going to a foreign land caused, but as long as his mouth worked, he’d use it. “I’m scared, okay? All the bravado you’ve seen this week? Gone. Don’t take me out of my cage, don’t make me play as the visitor because I’ll cry; well, maybe not cry, but I won’t be as cool as you think I am.”

Gideon saw where this was going; he felt the same when he went to the capital. Spending a week with a stranger wasn’t an ideal plan for him either, but hey, it turned out okay. “Nick, yo-“

Nick wasn’t done.

“I want you to know that I love you and that I trust you, and I’ll be okay if you’re there, but please don’t throw me under the bus here. Don’t make me meet too many mammals, I’m not a fan of crowds, I don’t know what’s going to happen!”

His façade was only effective in what he considered controlled environments; essentially, he was like an improv artist that was okay with being booed as long as the audience wasn’t too big. He had gotten used to applause and success because he had always acted in his comfort zone; now he had to face a different crowd in a different place, and he got word that they didn’t like performers like himself.

“Ni-“

“And I- I… I don’t know! Maybe I’ll love it there?! We could have the time of our lives! An- and I wanna apologize because I made you meet my parents! You seemed so ready and you were so smooth and you’re great and I admire you and I’ll meet yours if you want and I’ll help you in everything I can!”

Gideon had seen cubs trying to order by themselves at his bakery better balanced than the blabbering mess he had between his legs; all things considered, though, he kept seeing himself in Nick. He had been like that before, and he was starting to really worry about him; it was kind of funny at first, but not anymore.

Ironically enough, Gideon was the one suffering a panic attack the last time they got on a train… this time he’d have to take Nick’s role.

He began stroking his head, scratching one of the older fox’s ears and calmingly shushing him as his tremors had gotten more intense; apparently it was working. Nick didn’t stop shaking completely, but his attempts at spurting more of his concerned thoughts ended up ceasing. “Iss’okay, you don’ hav’ta do anythin’ you don’ wanna do.” Of course, he was worried as well, but just like the time they met Charles he’d have to be Nick’s rock; after a couple of minutes, the slender vulpine’s breathing went from labored to a faint hum that died right where his head was nestled against - the baker’s stomach. That fox’s body was the source of everything good that happened in the world.

Gideon believed he had passed out due to accumulated exhaustion, and given that he wasn’t too fresh either, he indulged himself with the voicing of a thought that normally would stay in his head. “Ah’m so glad Judy convinced me to come meet you.”

Nick was partly awake, though, and he heard the other perfectly. “I’m 99 percent sure she set us up.”

Gideon heard him too; however Nick’s speech was more limited since his lower jaw was blocked by the pudgy vulpine’s thigh.

“Either her or her mom… but Ah’m glad still.”

“Me too... and I’m glad you hit on me.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you told me you were gonna eat me.”

“ _You_ were followin’ me around and sayin’ ya’ liked my stuff.”

“I meant your clothes.”

_Wait._

As if their minds were synchronized, they asked the same question at the same time.

_“When did you start liking me?”_

And again, their response was similar.

_“When Judy showed me pictures and told me about you.”_

_Waiiiit…_

“100 percent.”

“100 percent?”

“100 percent…”

…

“Ah’m turnin’ my GPS off...”

“She has access to my records…”

Two hours left until they arrived-

“No, but really Gid, I don’t have to meet your parents, right?”

“…are you into grave robbing?”

“…”

Okay, enough, dark; go to sleep. Two hours left until they arrived to their destination.

\---

“You know, Judy told me I wouldn’t like this place, but-“

“Nick, we just got out of the train.”

And they hadn’t left the station yet. Even so, he did like one thing; everything was surrounded by green. It gave him a newfound feeling of freedom, at least compared to the concrete blocks that characterized the capital; it was less… claustrophobic, no building in his line of sight reached any higher than his apartment complex and the only thing he could hear once the train left were the crickets that hid in the nearby grass. The delightful smell of wet soil inundated the entire town, and given the situation, it was somewhat comforting; so far, Gideon’s birthplace didn’t seem all that horrible.

“So, do you live around here?”

Nick hadn’t seen anything that resembled a house after the welcome sign greeted them, so he guessed they were in the outskirts. Either that or everyone lived in holes in the ground… and were waiting for him to let his guard down… to come get him with pitchforks and torches.

“Kinda, do you mind a fifteen minute walk?”

“Not really, it’s really nice out here.”

A crisp breeze that dared ruffle anyone’s fur was one of the aspects that marked out the Tri-Burrow area’s spring mornings, and also one of the appeals that brought urbanites like Nick to such places.

“You better hurry, in twenty minutes this is gonna be full of mammals and tractors.”

Ah, right; it’d still take the sun some time to make its appearance, but this place survived mainly on agriculture. Well, it was another incentive to stick to Gideon, though he didn’t really need any.

The baker refused to let the ex-officer carry any of the suitcases and on the whole, he seemed somewhat annoyed; borderline angry, even. Right before Nick had the chance to break the silence that emphasized their steps, Gideon answered the question he didn’t get to ask.

“I don’t wanna go back to work.”

The older fox would have replied _‘you don’t have to,’_ but he wasn’t playing on his field, and nothing he could think of seemed of any help.

“And it’s all your fault, you know?”

His fault? Was it because he had quit his job? Nick already told him he was willing to provide for him, he didn’t mind… was Gideon venting his frustration on him? If he thought about it, the baker had the right to do so; he went to Zootopia with the intention of taking a break, wind down and release some stress, but-

“You spoiled me with alcohol and adventures, and friendship, and love and sex… and now I gotta go back to my pies. I think I have a case of the post vacation blues.”

Oh, so that was it, he was joking! And he was speaking normally! To be fair, Nick was on edge; he liked the grass, but as far as he was concerned, he was in enemy territory. Add that to his sleep deprivation and his narcotics & caffeine energy drink and you have a jumpier and more paranoid Gideon.

“You call that mess an adventure?”

And, on the other hand, the baker did get grumpy when he was sleepy. Right then and there, they were a bad combination to confront; one couldn’t stop his fingers from twitching and would do everything he could to hide from strangers, real or imaginary, and the other would probably… slap? you if you didn’t let him go home.

“Well…” Gideon doubted before replying; he had to make an effort to measure his words, he didn’t want to sound mean. “…I had fun.”

Nick wouldn’t call it fun, but he had something as well: closure. And all because of their post-coital afterglow…

“We should fuck more often.” He also had a slippery tongue.

In any other occasion Gideon would have probably gone all shy and junk, but whatever reason Nick mentioned that for, he agreed.

“Yeah, yeah we should.”

The rest of the walk to Gideon’s was adorned by the dumbest feeling of complacency they ever felt and a silly grin that inadvertently made its way to their muzzles. They were tired enough to fool around publicly, since it seemed the place was free of witnesses and all, but the baker’s paws were busy and Nick’s mouth was still pretty dry. Still, the intention was there.

A few moments later they reached their goal, and it didn’t disappoint.

“ _Gideon Grey’s Real Good Baked Stuff?”_

“What? I’m not good with names.”

The ex-officer couldn’t tell if they were in a real street, or an alley… he just followed the plump vulpine until he halted; by the time he realized, the dirt road they were walking on turned into pavement. In front of him was the bakery, the road stretched at his sides, and there were a series of buildings behind him that Gideon called _“the newest part of town.”_ They were small stores for the most part, and the whole block was really neat; still, everything was surrounded by crops and nature in general, but that looked like a great spot. Maybe Gideon was secretly a land shark and oh boy the fox needed sleep.

“Me neither. I like the aesthetic, though.”

The baker turned to look at the other vulpine, who was unaware of the stupid smile framed in his face and of everything that wasn’t the store window or the pink awning.

“Did you design it yourself?”

Gideon knew what was coming; he knew that everything he said right there and then could and would be used against him, so he decided to stay quiet.

“The smiley pie is really cute.”

Any moment now…

“So… your house is inside the bakery or…?”

The pudgy vulpine’s silence and intense stare began freaking him out… oh, no; now that he was back home the rabbit brainwaves were consuming him and-

“Aren’t you gonna say it?”

And Nick didn’t understand his question.

“…it?”

“Come on, don’t be shy.”

The ex-officer was completely lost. Was there, like, a tradition he didn’t know about? Did he have to compliment his store more or something?

“Aren’t you gonna say anything about how pink everything is and how sissy it looks and that the left window is bigger than the right one?”

Oh, sweetie. Sweetie, honey, no; he was paranoid and needed some rest a.s.a.p. too.

Nick grabbed him by his cheeks, and even though his eyes were tired and itchy, he could see a big frown on his favorite fox’s face.

“Gid, think about who you’re telling that.”

“…ah.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry…”

“Do you have a bed in there?”

“Upstairs.”

“Good; I’ll tell you how gay you are when we wake up. You are going crazy and I think a robot has been following us for a while now.”

The rest is a ten second memory that jumped from a very ugly color, to darkness, to an uncomfortable softness, and finally, to snores.

 ---

_I don’t feel at home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :/


	15. Dip it in butter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smell the flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Two chapters in one week? Are you dying? Prolly, iono. Maybe I love you, haven't you thought of that? Why did you go to the worst case scenario? Not cool, my dawg, not cool.
> 
> Also here's a quick something I put together for Gideon's place.
> 
>  
> 
> <http://warmdogfur.tumblr.com/post/164298408391/ignore-if-not-embedded-more-the-thing-far>  
> 
> 
> You can also ignore it and imagine the scenery and what happens during the time skips; like, you want more smut? Boom, there it is. You want more crying? Concentrate a little and... yeah, there it is too. And if you're an artist looking for references, try gay dating apps; everyone's shirtless on those.

_“This isn’t my bed.”_ To be fair, it wasn’t a bed; Nick was curled up in a ball on top of Gideon’s belly, but Gideon was on a bed, so according to the superposition principle he was as well. _“There’s something poking my ba- oh.”_ That was Gideon too.

As far as he could see, it was daytime and they were in a tiny room that was in dire need of an interior designer. _“Alright… how do I get up without waking Gideon?”_ After a bit of thinking and clearing the fog in his half-asleep mind, he slowly extended his left arm trying to reach for the wall next to them, but his plan had failed even before existing.

“You awake?” Gideon was. Well, one less concern.

“I don’t know yet, is this your place?” The baker hummed affirmatively. “Then yes.”

First things first; Nick crawled out of bed, avoiding any sensitive spots on his fox cot, and stretched his back until it popped back into place. He liked Gideon, but his spine was screaming in pain and-

“You slept well?” The older fox was occupied trying to relocate his skeleton and too distracted looking at the crooked closet in front of him, but he could hear something in Gideon’s gritty morning voice.

“Eh, my b-“

“Because you kept trying to choke me with your tail.” So that was it. He didn’t do it on purpose if he was asleep; in fact, he didn’t even know if he had done it… though the tip of his tail was a little wet, he’d give him that. Was Gideon really angry? Only one way to find out.

Once Nick was done with his old lady calisthenics and his vertebras calmed down, he pointed at the plump fox’s underwear. “I can choke on yours, you know, to compensate.” But it was useless. He already knew how the younger vulpine worked and that his erection was a burden more than a blessing. _“Okay, let’s try something different.”_

The grumpy baker had closed his eyes, probably trying to catch a wink before actually waking up or maybe because he was mad at Nick and didn’t want to see him; this allowed the sneakier mammal to launch a surprise attack.

“Heeey, Giiid…” the older fox cooed, slowly creeping up on the other’s exposed belly, letting his muzzle brush against his chest and breathing in his own scent adhered to the pudgier’s skin. “…are you mad at me?” His only response to all that was a long, exasperated hum; in this case, Nick would take it as a yes. “Are you…” he continued, this time allowing a finger to go its own way and place itself on the baker’s briefs, drawing circles over the unyielding shaft and making Gideon jolt. “…pissed?” Still, the plump vulpine remained in place, rejecting the older’s intentions and ignoring his terrible pun.

“Nick, stop.”

“Fine…”

He wasn’t in the mood, it was understandable… and Nick already knew that; his failed stratagem and fake resignation were steps to his true plan. Once the other left his guard down he licked his lips and briskly began blowing raspberries all over his upper half, from his neck to his lower belly, and Gideon couldn’t fight against that; his uproarious laughter was occasionally sprinkled with pleads for Nick to stop, but he claimed he wouldn’t until the baker either peed himself or accepted his unspoken apology. In the end the latter happened and Nick was victorious; and he also got a giddy Gid out their playful scrap, so there’s that.

“So, aren’t you gonna show me around your mansion?”

“Haven’t you seen the bathroom already?”

Gideon’s apartment was… cozy. Just the space he needed, with some… rustic? furniture… look, it was tiny, most of the furnishings came from Gideon’s grandma’s house, but at least he had water, electricity, and the walls were painted. Maybe you’d have to dodge a couple of dangerous corners here and there, the windows weren’t installed correctly, but it was still better than homelessness and Nick knew that well. He wouldn’t complain; hell, his own place wasn’t much bigger. He just was lucky enough to afford a designer, and if Gideon could live there, he could too.

“Speaking of bathroom…” Nick could appreciate smallness; Finnick’s van, for example, forced them to sleep together next to their dirty clothes and kept them on edge to avoid the homo. After the cold night incident, the fennec stated clearly that he was okay with whatever Nick was but that he didn’t dig being nutted on. In this case, though, he could enjoy the homo.

“You know where it is, it ain’t like you can get lost or-“

“Wanna pee together?”

That was a question he hadn’t heard before. Gideon already knew about Nick’s interest in watersports so it didn’t really strike him as bizarre; however, he felt like he was having a déjà vu.

“Are you serious?” The baker’s reaction didn’t get the ex-officer’s hopes up.

“Uh, I-“

“Why do you even ask?” The plump fox deadpanned because by then he had already normalized Nick’s eccentricity. He wasn’t free of sin either, but the older’s actions gave something away: he was still nervous. Well… one more thing to deal with.

After the younger fox’s penis realized it wouldn’t be used much and hid back in its sheath, he stood up and while doing so discovered something. Gideon turned around, saw what it was, and gave it back to its rightful owner.

“Your phone was under my butt.”

“…why?”

That was a pointless question; no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment they got in bed, and the whole thing gave Nick an idea.

"Mind if I order a new bed?"

Not this again; Gideon’s good mood faltered and he had to suppress a sigh. Was Nick about to pull another Pawaii?

"Do you really have to?"

There’s a big difference, though; while the trip was an attempt to improve their relationship by fixing something that wasn’t broken, this was more of a necessity.

"My spine is now the letter J and I’ve seen a couple of springs sticking out… unless you’re into scoliosis and tetanus, I think I have."

It was an argument Gideon could not win. In hindsight it was a dumb argument, they had already gone on and on about Nick’s funds… he just didn’t want him to squander them.

"Fine, go ahead. Make sure at least it can get through the door."

"Okey dokey; I just want something the two of us can fit in."

That was something else Gideon had ignored; his bed was older than Nick and narrower than the ex-officer’s couch, but I guess there was some familiarity association or something. After all he had spent over ten years sleeping on that mattress, though that was a good occasion to get a new one; you know, because it was shabby and to represent the change and all that shit. No… he wasn’t too fresh that morning – afternoon, it was around one by the time they finished their…

_“Let’s try to merge them!”_

_“Please don’t piss on my feet.”_

…couples bathroom usage. But hey, at least the toilet seemed kind of new! Newer than most of the furniture, for sure; and there was a bidet too, so European… look, I’m trying to make the place appealing, okay?

Meanwhile, Gideon had been thinking about something he had asked before but never got an answer to; the reason why Nick could be so carefree when it came to spending.

"Nick… uh… how much money do you have in your account?" He didn’t want to meddle in businesses that didn’t concern him, he had his own; however, being able to replace something he didn’t like with such ease was bound to raise a few eyebrows.

"Right now? Around forty thousand." But Nick didn’t mind him asking, though; did his Gid want a treat?

“And in total?”

“You go first.”

“How much I have?”

“Yeah; don’t tell me why you’re asking if you don’t want, but at least tell me how bad you’re gonna feel after I give you my numbers.” Damn… what an asshole. Still, Gideon started this; of course Nick could say no, but he wanted to play along.

“…sixty.”

“Sixty?”

“Sixty thousand.” Huh, Nick was expecting less… how profitable are bakeries exactly? Anyway, it was his turn.

“Two three.” There was a big difference in the way they expressed themselves; the older fox sounded secure and proud, while the younger was careful and more hesitant. For some reason he thought he had something to lose.

“How much is that?”

“Two million three hundred thousand.”

_‘Jesus Christ… Nick, what did you do? How do you even get away with…?’_

"And… uh, when you do your taxes...?"

Nick would agree that this wasn’t the best conversational topic, but something was up with the baker. At the moment all he could do was satisfying the other’s curiosity.

"Gid, I have a very suspicious tax guy and a method."

"A method?"

"Yeah, it's simple; as a cop I make – made - around fifty a year, but I have ‘ _other incomes’_. I know _some people_ , and when I went legal I gave them money to send me every month in exchange of a small percentage, kept some, and hid the rest."

"Okay, but still-"

"The amount is always twenty five hundred so it doesn't raise any eyebrows at the tax office, and the concept is _‘old freelance work.’_ "

"...why?"

"After some time debts expire, and that includes taxes; my buddies in the _famiglia_ took care of my years of absolutely nothing, but I wanted to make sure just in case a curious asshole decides to look up my name. There's a yearly amount below which you don't have to declare anything, and a monthly limit below which you don't have to actually figure as a freelancer anywhere; if they were to ask me now about the origin of my current monthly deposits, I'd just have to say they're bulk payments from old freelance jobs, and since that's what - I think - figures in my records, they'd see they're from over ten years ago and I'd be exempt from everything. The only suspicious thing could be my dozens of jobs in the span of five years, my following ten of unemployment, and then becoming a cop; but I have that covered too. I was homeless and hustling, but since I had never owned anything until last year, as far as they knew I was still living with my mom; the only problem would come if they talked to her, but no matter what she could say, they'd still have no evidence of anything."

"...are you done?"

"I only use the money in my account to pay bills, but I thought it’d be nice to have some secured savings just in case someone finds where I keep the rest."

“Now?”

“Now.”

"Holy. Fuck." That sure was… a thing.

Funny thing is that this whole conversation started while they were shaking off the last drops, and by the time it ended they were still at it. They’d have to flush at some point.

“Now I have a question for you: why did you wanna know?” Nick had spilled his beans, and he was close to figuring out the reason behind Gideon’s inquiries.

“Uhhh…”

“You don’t abuse my trust, you don’t want me to waste money; you could ask me for anything you wanted and I’d get it for you, but you don’t. I like that you wanna be your own mammal, and you almost made me think you were jealous or felt threatened or something, but you’re not broke; I don’t want you to, but you could afford to pay me back what I bought. Now tell me, what’s going through that cute head of yours?”

There wasn’t a solid reason per se; Gideon knew how Nick got that money and he could overlook it, he wasn’t avaricious not miserly, but he hadn’t rested properly and sleep deprivation can make anyone a little cranky and paranoid.

“…I just don’t want a SWAT team breaking into my house because you got me a new bed.” Nick found that adorable, especially the way he said it, like a child embarrassed for something he thought adults wouldn’t approve of. It was priceless, and the older fox made sure he knew that; not that he needed any excuses to chomp on his cheeks with kisses… but the baker needed to wash his face. He was more drool than fox and he had to brighten him up a little.

He wouldn’t go to jail anytime soon; not for tax fraud, at least. “You worry too much. As long as I don’t buy a helicopter or something we’re fine, and if they can’t find it the money doesn’t exist… did you realize we had our dicks out the whole time?” 

It’d be better not to think too much about it.

 

\---

 

While Gideon primped himself Nick picked up their clothes from the kitchen-dining-living room floor, which reminded him that his washing machine back in Zootopia was still filled to the brim. He went to tell Judy about it; since she was staying in his apartment it was her problem, but when he checked his texts he saw he had a few from Clawhauser.

-> [OMG the Nick and Gideon thing was so cute {EMOJIS} if I ever have to leave I hope you stop a train to kiss me and come with me {MORE EMOJIS}] – 3:07

[OMG sorry Nick this wasn't meant for u!]

[But it was very cute.....my man doesn't kiss me like that you know] – 3:09

[ur place.......smells  foxy] – 3:21

[Hey where do u keep the towels???] – 3:29

[Nvm found them!!] – 3:32

_“I have at least a couple of questions, but I don't think I want them answered. Let's see...”_

[im telling bogo u broke into my apartment while i was away. if he was there too tell him to arrest himself] <\- 13:12

_“And...”_

To Judy.

[did you throw a party last night? Why was claw at my place at 3 am???]

[also can u wash my clothes??]<\- 13:14

She didn’t take long to reply.

-> [It was late, your apartment is closer to the station, and all we did was sleep. I couldn't tell him to go back to the jungle district alone at that hour]

[And I’m already doing it, I could smell you from your room] – 13:17

[thanks. why arent u at work??] <\- 13:18

-> [They’re reassigning peeps and still gotta find me a new partner, I’m kinda scared I might have 2 move and been ravaging your kitchen] – 13:20

_“Oh right.”_

Gideon was taking his time in the bathroom; so much he had to close the door… Nick took the task of making breakfast upon himself, but he didn’t find much: a couple bottles of water, ketchup, mayonnaise, soy milk, three cans of tuna, a bag of spaghetti… it was a bachelor apartment alright. There was some stuff in the freezer, but Nick wanted something more immediate.

[u will never find someone as good as me. send me microwave waffles please] <\- 13:26

Shortly after the baker left the comfort station and he had a contempt smile on his face; something told Nick it was okay to miss on the fun the plump vulpine had, but he was still hungry.

“Gid, do you have anything edible here?”

The lightheaded fox shrugged as he approached the other, opening the fridge himself only to find the same nothingness. “I was gonna pick something from the bakery, I keep most stuff there.”

“Wait, so you’re getting dressed?”

“…yes?”

Before that happened, the ex-officer had something to do. “I owe you this for yesterday.”

“What do yo-“

The former con artist still known as Nick swiftly got as many limbs as he could around Gideon, trapping him in a tight and convoluted embrace and touching as much of him as he could, burrowing his face in the baker’s neck and making a high pitched, throaty noise that could only be described as a happy whimper. He could afford it, this time no one was looking.

Gideon couldn’t do much except maybe enjoy the worship; his arms were stuck to his sides by his shoulders… however, his elbow joints were free and his paws worked perfectly. If he remembered correctly, Nick was pretty ticklish. The older fox, distracted while consuming his preferred choice of drug, was completely oblivious to the paw pads getting closer and closer to his thigh; by the time they touched him, it was too late.

Nick’s determination was stronger than his urge to kick and scream; he had latched onto the baker, and he wouldn’t let go. He had no choice but to muffle his guffaws against the stouter neck, and by doing that, he made the other laugh as well; Nick’s humid, hot and sharp pants got right through his fur, stimulating him so much he had to resort to lifting the slenderer fox by his rump and cradle him against his chest until both calmed down.

“You’re very strong, you know that?”

“Don’t start a war you can’t win.”

Gideon carried him like that to his room so he could finally put something on and see how much stock he had left; he left the biggest cub in the world on his bed, and went on to cover himself.

“Aren’t you unpacking your stuff?” The baker had been assaulted with Nick’s hijinks even before waking up, at some point he couldn’t be fazed anymore; he almost reminded him of a few of Judy’s younger siblings… but at least the ex-officer had his own tail to chase.

“I have clothes here.”

“But I don’t.”

“Are you coming with me?”

“Yep.”

Then something clicked in Gideon’s head; no one would go anywhere without a change of clothes if they weren’t planning on leaving whatever place they were staying in. Suspicious eyes met apparently innocent ones once again.

“Did you fill your suitcase with your own stuff?”

“Nope.”

Nick sounded guiltless, but Gideon still had his doubts. He crouched, unzipped the addressed case, and… well, Nick wasn’t lying.

“…how much is in here?”

“Around eighty grand. You know, for emergencies; I mixed my clothes with yours.” Gideon just stared at him, his face devoid of any expression, his lips pressing against one another puffing his cheeks out. “I think Judy’s washing our dirty clothes.” Still, no reaction from the baker; he was blinking slowly, asserting the situation. “Are you mad?”

“No,” Finally, a word from him; and he didn’t sound angry, “I’m just… still getting used to having a millionaire at home.” It could be overwhelming; for most it’d be enjoyable, but imagine having your life turned upside down by a genie that got you anything you wished for before you even mentioned it. “What kind of emergencies did you have in mind?”

“…angry mobs?” They say comedy is the combination of tragedy and time.

And probably they needed a bit more time. “…go get dressed.”

Nick was about to oblige, but when Gideon opened his closet something caught his eye.

“Is that a hay hat?”

“Yes.”

“And those are overalls?”

“Yu-huh.”

Woah, that sure was the realest countryside experience.

“You wear those often?”

“On-“

“Preferably with nothing underneath?” The last time he wore them it was for the country fair, and thinking about how they’d look at him if he wasn’t wearing anything else got a chuckle out of him. On the other hand, those weren’t soft on the skin…

“What’s with you and me not wearing underwear?”

“I just think it’s a look that suits you; for example, what you’re wearing right now?”

“My undies?” What was wrong with them? As far as Gideon could see they were pretty clean.

“Yes, horrible, don’t put them on ever again.”

“You want me to get a chafed ass?”

“…”

“Nick?”

“…I’m thinking about it. Let me add this to the list.”

Gideon was pondering on where Nick was going with all this; if masturbation doesn’t count, his apartment was still unbaptized. He could try his best, but he wasn’t in the mood; he wasn’t in the mood for anything. You tell me how much you’d like to fuck if you slept like a soldier during war times. However, that last thing he said…

“The list?”

“Yeah, I have a list on my phone with things I wanna do with you. Here, take a looksee.”

The older fox handed him the device, and what he read was very… cryptic.

_“Okay, overalls and apron, we talked about this… cum dump, wow… very long t-shirt, dunno what that means… bondage, gotta think about it… crops? …beach? …chocolate? Aaaand… weed.”_

“So, what do you think?” Nick was legitimately excited, bouncing up and down on his butt waiting for the other’s response; he started writing it after the first time they had sex, and he’d love it if Gideon was willing to do a couple.

“What does ‘very long t-shirt’ mean?”

“I wanna see you wearing one of those shirts that go down to your knees and nothing else.”

“And ‘chocolate’?”

“I thought about getting a fondue pot and some fruit, it always seems fun in movies.” So far they weren’t painful or extenuating; he could do those.

“Aw, that sounds nice. And ‘crops’?”

“Having sex in corn crops or something… maybe I had a tiny erection in my penis when I wrote it.”

“I don’t recommend doing that one; the pesticides they use here could make it fall off.”

“Alright, and what about the rest?”

“We can try… is weed really that big a’deal?”

“Eh, not really; it makes you dumb and hungry for a while. And your mouth gets really dry too... at least that’s how it worked ten years ago, probably we have cyber drugs now.” Did his counterpart have a list as well? “And… is there anything you’d like to do with me?”

“No, not really…” A moment went by before he realized what he had said; Nick’s face was also an indicator of how wrong it sounded. God he was tired. “Oh, no no! I mean yes, absolutely everything, but I haven’t thought of anything specific… I mean, we haven’t done that much together.”

“Yeah, you’re right… and now you gotta work.”

“Yeah…” Wait, that’s why they were getting dressed. Nick could be really distracting… or maybe he wanted to be distracted, maybe he didn’t want to go back to his routine… shit. “Okay, I’m serious this time; put something on and I’ll show you where I work.”

“Yes’sir.”

By the time they left Gideon was feeling like a dad. In Zootopia it was different… Nick behaved differently, Gideon was more of a sidekick… wait, how did he behave when he was the visitor?

 

\---

 

The ugliest metal staircase Nick had ever seen lead them to the last place he remembered seeing the previous night… morning? Anyway, Gideon’s apartment was on top of the bakery, and there was the crossroads, and… mammals. Mammals, a few of them. Mostly prey: sheep, rabbits, a couple of pigs… was that a cougar in the distance? Nick was following Gideon, there was a chance no one had seen him, although what he saw wasn’t too bad; one ram waved at the plump vulpine when he saw him and he waved back. Well, they didn’t wave, **_wave_** ; they just lifted their arms, as if acknowledging they had seen each other. He seemed friendly enough, perhaps he was on their side…

_“Nick, we’re using the back door.”_

Hmm? Yeah, yeah sure… he stopped at the last step before reaching the ground, assessing the situation; it didn’t seem like such a bad place. The mammals interacting with each other were pretty civil, they were just going on with their lives; the Burrows weren’t such a cesspool of bigotry after all. If Judy and her parents were any indication… prejudices were a bitch.

Gideon realized something was up; something in Nick changed, his posture, his entire body felt somewhat relieved, his ears weren’t sharp spikes anymore. The pudgy fox looked in the same direction he was looking, and he had to ask.

“You’re thinking about going to Rita’s bar? Her bug brochettes aren’t bad at all.”

“Nah, maybe later…” His speech, his tail not covering his back anymore, the way he looked when he turned around and kept following his lead, “…first I gotta see if your baked stuff is really that good.”  Classic suave Nick deluxe edition had just arrived to Bunny Burrows and you couldn’t see fear in him anymore.

Gideon’s bakery was… a bakery. Nick had never seen this part of one before, he couldn’t compare; there were big paper sacks, metal shelves with all sorts of ingredients and condiments, a walk-in freezer, cardboard and plastic boxes with different sort of drinks and food items, metal counters…

“This is the kitchen?” He was looking around but kept his paws to himself; that wasn’t his business, an empire of illegal ice cream and an actual workplace didn’t have that much in common. For starters, Gideon had where to store his supplies.

“This is the kitchen, and out there’s the counter; go grab anything you want from the cooler.” Right, that was one of the reasons that took him there; breakfast at Gideon’s. The side open to the public wasn’t so industrial; essentially it was the kind of small store you’d go to because you like how familiar it feels, with wooden sheets covering the walls and cute handwritten boards indicating the prices of the items there. It’d surely look and smell better if the counter and the wicker baskets behind it were filled, but for now he’d settle with a pineapple juice box and seeing where his favorite fox worked.

“And what do you have to do today?” Nick knew now Gideon had things to do, but if he could stick around he would; it wasn’t like he had anything else to do either.

“See how much stock I have left, call suppliers, clean up a little, and maybe later I’ll go tell the Hopps I’m back. But first, do you like panini?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I also gotta make breakfast then.”

“It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Okay, we have lunch and then I do that.”

 Gideon’s kitchen-storehouse became the perfect place to have a soiree. Nick kept saying how much it reminded him of a movie he watched about these chefs that fucked in the kitchen of a restaurant but never cleaned it, and he learnt a few things about the bakery; originally it was going to be something like an office building, but halfway through the project was stopped, the bank kept it and that’s why Gideon could afford it.

_“It isn’t even finished; if you push one of the walls in my apartment too hard you’ll be walking on the roof. I put some more bricks, but it’s better not to risk it.”_

He also discovered how the bakery worked; what Gideon sold the most was bread, different pastries, some snacks… and the star product, his pies, were actually something like a cult item.

_"So you haven't made any of this yourself?"_

_“Minus my pies and some things I make for especial occasions, most of the stuff I sell is frozen, I just add a little something before selling; you know what it takes to make everything myself? I have suppliers now. I tried to for a while, but I almost died.”_

The baker told him about how his deal with the Hopps started and how businesses like his worked around there.

_“I had to wake up at five and spend the whole morning making and delivering everything myself, then one day Judy’s parents said they wanted to sell more than just vegetables, and since they live on the other side of town I just gotta give them what they ask for and they sell it for me.”_

_“I see, so they’re your dealers?”_

_“In reality I work for them… but yeah; at least I save a ton on gas. Now I spend most of the time in the kitchen or behind the counter.”_

Nick remembered something; wasn’t he supposed to get a new bed? They were done eating, but he couldn’t let the baker go just yet; the bed would be Gideon’s, he was just an intermediary… kinda like the Hopps were to him. After ten minutes of tapping the screen of his phone, reading aloud descriptions about viscolatex and confusing sizes, and asking if they should get a big pillow to share the plump fox stood up and said he was okay with anything as long as both could fit and he could still open his closet. To his surprise, Nick didn’t order anything from the online store; he called someone, told that someone he was in Bunny Burrows, said he wanted the B017SV, a pillow and a couple of sheets that’d fit it, and when he hung up he told the perplexed vulpine that it’d be there by eight.

_“Please tell me it’s legal.”_

_“It’s legal.”_

_“…”_

_“No, really, it is; I know a guy who works at the warehouse where they keep what they deliver. He does me favors for a generous tip.”_

_“…that’s okay…”_

Alright, that was done.

Gideon had things to do, and Nick didn’t want to sit there and watch; the baker refused to accept his help at first, then the older fox acted like a tough guy, saying he was a veteran cop and that his ribs were already okay, and the younger let himself be convinced and assigned him a couple of chores he’d have no problem doing, like refilling the front’s coolers and dusting off the furnishings there. To be honest, Nick thought this experience would be a little more… romantic? His attempts at sappiness and flirting were dismissed, and he could understand it; Gideon’s bags under his eyes were discernible even through his fur, but even so he seemed more… strict than normal. Maybe that was how he acted in his stompin’ grounds?

He just didn’t like that silence.

_"And you open in the afternoons too?"_

_"No; if someone wants bread or something after lunchtime they gotta go to one of the supermarkets."_

_"You got supermarkets too?"_

_"Yeah. What, you thought we were completely isolated?"_

Wicker baskets could be heavier than he imagined.

_"Well, no... but all I've seen are small stores, and bread seems, uh - crucial. I mean, delivering daily and all..."_

_"It's pretty much a tradition, part of the culture."_

_"Bread?"_

_"Huh-uh; my grandma told me it's from European roots. During post war periods all they could afford was water and flour, and well, it stuck."_

Nick liked what just happened; he loved hearing Gideon talk about things he was passionate or really knew about. He used such a captivating tone, and he sounded so sure… it hadn't happened much, but it was truly enchanting. He looked more mature than Nick, and in a way it made him feel safe; I mean, he was in foreign lands and he couldn’t pick a better guide. He could try to keep it going.

_"So you're actually European?"_

Gideon doubted before replying. _"Not me, but I think my grandma was at least part Spawnish."_

_"Oh! You know any Spawnish?!"_ That was a thread he could exploit.

_“A tiny bit…”_

**_‘Yes!’_** His face said everything his mouth didn’t. His stare was so intense even Gideon’s giddiness vanished for a second.

_"...Nic-"_

_"Pleaaaase?"_

Okay, he’d play along; he never had the chance to reminisce like that and Nick was behaving. _"I don't remember much... let’s see."_ He was somewhat reluctant; his humor wasn’t the best and he knew that. Sleep deprivation affected him more than he’d like, but he knew himself; if he was tired enough, his anger turned into the ability to enjoy things he normally wouldn’t. Luckily this would make that happen.

_“Come on! And I’ll show you my Italian!”_

What he didn’t know is that Nick had gotten so excited because of the smile he didn’t realize had on his face. Oh, it was happening! He was moments away from turning into a dumb, giggly teddy bear. _"Fine... necesito espárragos, huevos, saltamontes y... uh, pan."_

It wasn't perfect, but Nick couldn't tell; he understood two words at best - in this case understanding means to know they exist. 

_"Translation, please?"_

Gideon wasn't embarrassed to pronounce something wrong; he just had a very limited vocabulary.

_"...I need asparagus, eggs, grasshoppers and bread."_

_"...that was... lovely."_

_"I just picked up stuff I heard from my grandma."_

But he wasn’t embarrassed at all; at the time he looked like Nick usually did without trying. He had acquired the ultimate _sleepy, I don’t care about anything_ look. In practice, the only difference with his slightly less restless self was that his annoyance was replaced with indifference. The main con was that he had to be stimulated constantly or he’d fall asleep anywhere. But at the time he was having fun.

_"Okay, my turn._ _Succhiare il mio cazzo cagna vaffanculo."_

That sounded aggressive.

_"You learnt that in the mafia?"_

_"Yu-huh. You know what it means?"_

_"I don't think I wanna know."_

The rest of their stay in the bakery was way slower. Nick did what Gideon told him to, and Gideon did his best; the place seemed decent. The ex-officer asked the baker if he had anything left to do, and when he received a negative, they were ready to leave.

_“Wait!”_ Gideon remembered something crucial when they were at the door. _“I left most of my stuff in the freezer before leaving so it wouldn’t go bad!”_ And Nick was digging this sillier Gideon. His everything was super exaggerated, his face didn’t match the intensity of his words, and the older wanted part in the fun.

_“You’re a genius! Let’s go get it!”_

_“I have mini pizzas, eggrolls, a dozen of Sandy’s empanadas, two boxes of ice cream cones-“_ The baker kept listing all his food items, and while he did so he fiddled with the elastic band of his sweatpants. Nick had to be the responsible one, searching for and successfully finding them, all packed in four big plastic bags.

_“-and a can of butter cookies!”_

_“Got ‘em!”_

_“Ojalá tuviera aceitunas.”_

_“…yes!”_

They looked like cartoon characters when they were leaving; you could put Gideon in a Tom & Jerry episode and he wouldn’t stand out much, and Nick was having the time of his life fueling the other’s nuttiness. For once he was allowed to carry weight since opening and closing doors was a moderately difficult task and enemy for Gideon, and he also had to make sure the younger didn’t hurt himself; every clonk their feet made on the metal staircase threw him off, he looked down so quick he got dizzy, and he had to stop to recover. Reaching his apartment took some time, but they made it alive and with provisions, which had to be sorted and stored by Nick; Gideon was occupied making sure he still knew how to breathe and trying to catch Nick’s tail every time he walked by him. There was some irony in this… or perhaps it was hypocrisy.

When the ex-officer was done, he sat down on the couch with the other fox; to his surprise it was actually comfortable, but Gideon wanted to rest on something else.

“How’re you doing, bud?”

The addressed mammal didn’t reply; not with words, at least. He didn’t have enough entertainment for a while and had entered the growling and humming phase. Nick was going to ask again, but the pudgy vulpine assaulted him with his muzzle before he could utter a word; slowly he tried to knock the other down, and the little sense Nick could make out of this was that he wanted to lie down with him.

“You sleepy?”

Again, no words. Gideon kept whimpering and pushing him with no force, and the slenderer found the whole thing adorable… for the most part. He recalled seeing cubs doing the same to their parents when they were tired, but this was no son of his. Eventually he gave in and obliged, not without taking his shirt off first; it was the same he wore the previous day and it smelled a bit too much of him… he needed a shower. However, Gideon didn’t care; he insisted on keeping his nose stuck to the other’s fur. And this guy was a bully?

“Okay big boy, nap time.”

And like that, he became the big spoon that kept his Gid from falling off; two minutes, a few belly rubs and a bit of nuzzling later he had him snoring between his arms. It wasn’t a bad plan, he could go for a nap too… hopefully he hadn’t been interfering with his work. Eh, they were having a nice moment there, who cared?

 

\---

 

“What time issit?”

“Almost six.”

“Mornin’?”

“Afternoon.”

Nick awoke a couple of hours earlier, time he took to try on Gideon’s overalls, take pictures and send them to Judy asking her if she’d bang him. She replied she wished he was still a cop so he could sue him for sexual harassment, and they had been texting since then; Nick thought about exploring what Gideon kept in his drawers, but he decided against. If the baker wanted him to see something he’d show him himself; he spent the rest of his free time unpacking their stuff and hiding his emergency savings in Gideon’s wardrobe.

“I’m sorry for… before.” The plump fox recalled what he did before falling asleep and he was embarrassed; so much he wouldn’t look at Nick, who was seated in one of the chairs at the dining table that clearly didn’t match any other piece of furniture and grinning at the downcast mammal. He loved what happened and he’d rub it in his face as much as Gideon rubbed himself on the older vulpine.

“You were adorable.”

“No I wasn’t, I was weird.”

“You’re a big, cuddly ball of fluff and you brought it out, no big deal. You should think about doing it more often.”

The baker’s reply was a tiny whimper of shame, and he couldn’t have chosen a worse response; it was more fuel to Nick’s fire.

“You’re doing it again! You want more belly rubs?”

Gideon’s eyes were trying to hide in the side of his head and his bottom lip wanted to eat the upper one; but he had things to do, he could be embarrassed later. As far as he remembered he had enough stock for at least two days; he’d have to call his suppliers, and more importantly, go see the Hopps and ask them what they needed. He really didn’t feel like doing that, but it was better to get the worst out of the way first; as long as they didn’t ask to see pictures...

It’d be nice if he could be the man-cub Nick loved all the time, but it wasn’t possible. “I’m heading out for a moment, gotta keep my employers happy.”

“You’re going to see Judy’s parents?” Nick had been hearing comments about them from Gideon since the very day they met.

“Yeah, wanna come with?”

“I’ll pass, thank you.” They had been working together for around two years, and they had known each other far longer than that.

“You’re gonna make me suffer alone?”

“I just don’t think I could be of any help. Like, I barely know anything about bread.” Then why every time he talked about them he sounded so uninterested and bitter?

“You have a point; I’m the bread specialist here.”

“Exactly.” Were they really that bad?

“Do I look presentable?”

Nick eyeballed the stout, yawning fox. He was a mess; a mess he liked, but a mess still. His grey sweatpants were a couple sizes too big and pilled all over his lap, his white shirt had seen better days and… was uneven? For some reason it was longer on its left, he had a thread of dried drool that almost reached his nose; it might have been snot, and to top it all off his hair looked like a failed attempt to emulate a Final Fantasy character. He could pass for a rapper from the nineties that was having a hard time acclimatizing to the new millennium.

“I don’t know what the etiquette here is but you look like you’re looking for dumpster bitches.”

Gideon had heard many expressions that never made much sense to him, especially from the most _patriotic_ Burrowers, but that one was new. “…what?”

“You know, you have your thing going, but it clashes with” Nick gestured vaguely at the sink next to him “this.”

“I don’t… uh… what?”

“Like, I can dig it if it’s you, but don’t expect to find a respectable wife.”

“You lost me.”

That was a thing he used to do when he lived with Finnick; since they didn’t have mirrors they depended on each other to make sure they didn’t look too much like they’d stab you for a sandwich, but it was something he didn’t have with Gideon… yet, at least. The more childish side of the baker needed an antagonist, and the more bullshitting side of Nick could be the one.

“Maybe try washing your face?”

“That I understand.”

And after doing so and telling Nick he’d forgive him for making him go alone if he put a couple of empanadas in the microwave, he left. Nick did as he was told, crooning an improvised song about how good of a housewife he was; something about empanadas and enchiladas, scrotums in autumn, and balls in fall… I mean, you’d probably like it if you’re into trap.

To Nick’s surprise – and almost horror if it wasn’t because he heard the keys beforehand, he was coming up with a chorus – Gideon came back only a few minutes later, and he looked a little traumatized.

"You're back early."

"Yep..."

"Is it because you missed me?"

"No…" The disheveled baker stumbled his way to the fridge, keeping his gaze straight, looking at nothing in particular and unconsciously clearing his throat trying to get rid of the lump he felt there; his voice was a little higher than usual, and his snout drew a kind of forced smile. No, it wasn’t a smile; it was more like as if something was pulling back the corners of his mouth.

"Awww..." The falsely disappointed fox just stood there, watching the other throw his head back and down a pint of water; it was impressive how his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he gulped, but something was up. “Are you t-“

Gideon interrupted him, speaking before he was completely done swallowing and accidentally spitting drops of cold water on his chest. "Mrs. Lovejoy."

"Mrs. Lovejoy?"

"Yeah. She saw me when I was about to get in my van. Kinda nice lady at times, knows about all the gossips in town, likes to jog sometimes, wears glasses..."

"Whe-"

"She said _‘oh, hi Gideon! I didn’t know you were back! I heard you went to the capital.’_ ”

"Oka-"

“Then she told me that I smell of someone else. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she insisted; she insisted and she insisted _._ "

“Gide-“

"She kept going, _'the same happened to me when my husband imprinted me for the first time'_."

"Wow... that's-"

" _'My Robert wouldn't let me leave the bed during our honeymoon, he just couldn’t keep his hands off my b-'_."

"GID!” He didn’t need to hear that, any of that; Gideon couldn’t possibly have thought that that was such an interesting topic as to come back and tell him in person. “...enough."

"They know you're here." Yeah, Nick had come to a similar conclusion; but it wasn’t such a big deal, was it?

"Well, even if they do-"

"Nick, I could keep going; I could tell you about how she implied I'm with a guy, about how your sweat and **_what is not your sweat_** apparently smell sweeter than mine, about all the other mammals that suspected I was gay... do you want me to do that?" No, no he didn’t.

"...how could anyone smell-?" He didn’t get to finish his question, but in case you’re curious the answer is that they had gotten too used to each other’s scents; to an outsider it’d be really clear. Besides, the older vulpine was still musky and he had slept with the baker…

"Nick!" Gideon seemed serious about it.

"Alright, alright; let’s say the secret's out... so now what?" The ex-officer could understand why, but what could he do? Kill her? Well, maybe…

"I... I don't know." The baker sighed in defeat and his whole posture transformed; he supported himself on the kitchen counter and rubbed his temple, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth in a mixture of anxiousness and exasperation. He was unable to think, he didn’t know what to do… fuck, was bringing Nick a mistake?!

“Gid, I…” Nick didn’t know what to do either. The mood wasn’t fit for jokes, and he didn’t even know if he should say anything or try to comfort the other in any way; he was wary about his sexuality as well, he’d be upset too if the people he had trusted with the secret outed him. He didn’t know if he should even touch him… but it was all pretty farfetched, wasn’t it? No one had seen him – well, except for maybe that ram… “…isn’t there anything we can do? Tell them I’m your cousin or something?”

“No… everyone knows I don’t have any family left, the Hopps knew I was leaving, Judy told them I was going to meet you and they can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.” That was... wasn’t the apologetic pie fox.

It was the first time Nick felt true anger in Gideon, and it wasn’t like he thought it’d be; he wasn’t yelling, he didn’t want to break anything, no harsh gestures… it inspired fear because of how calm he looked, yet how different he felt. To anyone looking, the only thing that stood out was the tapping of his fingers on the counter and his somewhat clenched jaw; to anyone present, the room’s gravity seemed to increase, everything felt heavy, and Gideon’s scent had shifted. It was _aggressive._ If it makes any sense, it was the equivalent to pain in aromas, like the perfume you’d associate with a bullet wound.

As a cop Nick had been warned about situations in which someone – a victim, a perpetrator – were altered for whatever reason, but he doubted he could deal with any of that. He had had it rough, he had gone through a lot, but this experience was new; he could only offer his empathy, but it was hard to tell if it’d make any difference.

“Are you… okay?”

“What do you think?”

Gideon looked at nothing but his own paw… who knows what was going through his head?

He pulled his phone from his pocket, tapped the screen without even looking, and put it to his face.

_‘Who is he…?’_

“Bonnie…”

_‘Gideon, what are you doing?!’_

“…I’m back in the Burrows…”

_‘He… he is not…’_ He sounded normal, to Nick’s standards at least; there was no undertone to his voice, no insults, and also, no accent. At points the older vulpine could overhear some bits from their conversation; she said they could have gone pick him up, he said it wasn’t necessary, she tried to ask more questions, but he wasn’t interested in small talk.

“Do you need anything for tomorrow? (…) Alright.”

And before they hung up, he could hear one last question coming from the other end. _‘You came alone?’_

He knew what she meant.

A smile Nick never thought he’d see on Gideon somehow sculpted itself on his muzzle; there was no humor behind it, his jaw was clenched and a dry chuckle hastily escaped his throat. At that very moment, he looked at the other fox; his gaze accelerated his heartbeat, he was unpredictable and Nick couldn’t even fathom what he’d say.

“Judy’s coming in two weeks.”

Nick learnt something from this; Gideon could be elusive if he wanted, he had his way with words as well, and he was a good actor. It was hypocritical of him to not offer the baker his full support given that he had been acting his whole life as well; the thing is Gideon’s role was more… _dramatic_. Nick did it to avoid what he didn’t want to get too close to him, and Gideon did it to choke what was already facing him; under pressure Gideon could do better than him.

“Bitch.” The call had already ended, and the baker’s blood was pumping vigorously. God, that sure was an experience. He had censored himself, because if he let himself go and said what was on his mind... yet in his core he understood there’d be consequences, and surely he had no chance of ending up victorious there.

Gideon took a deep breath, left his phone on the counter, and turned to face Nick. His expression wasn’t that of someone angry, his face didn’t scare him away anymore; he looked like he was deep in thought mixed with a hint of sorrow, and he knew what Nick was thinking. He knew what he just did, and he felt like he owed him an explanation.

“They pity me.”

There was more to what Gideon told him that afternoon; when he started out, before partnering with the Hopps, he was losing money at an alarming rate. Essentially yes, he worked with them because they pitied him. They saw his van every day and no one ever went out to buy anything, they heard some rumors about his situation; it was Bonnie’s curiosity and latter compassion what made his business successful. He knew that, and he hated it.

“Sometimes I think the bakery was a mistake…”

He felt like he couldn’t do anything about it because in exchange he gained the trust of many residents. He wasn’t poisoning their bread, he seemed like a hard working mammal, and the Hopps, one of the most famous families there, thought he was good enough as to work with them. His name had already been in a few mouths by then, but when mammals heard there were rabbits working with a fox some new comments surfaced… the thing is, some inhabitants were more accepting than others. He could ignore the comments against his species and the rumors about himself; the ones about owing his life to the Hopps were the ones that really got to him because even he thought they were true. In short, it was a matter of his self-worth versus his net worth.

But did any of that give them any right to make choices about his life?

"That's how things work in places like this... everyone knows each other, there's always some gossip going around, someone to look up to, to trust, to hate, to envy..." Bunny Burrows had a huge population, but still, it was a small town at heart, and that wouldn't change anytime soon... it'd stay hermetic and old fashioned probably forever. “And now they have a good reason to call me faggot...” He could only assume how the news would be received. Many considered him a joke; some others still feared him, some pitied him as well… he liked the ones that ignored him better.

At some point both were on Gideon’s couch, and they weren’t afraid of touching each other anymore; what was the point? It wasn’t their fault, there were things they had no control over, they couldn’t stop something from happening when it had already happened… at least Nick’s paws were comforting, and there was something liberating to sharing things he had never told anyone.

"Have you ever burnt your shirt because someone you barely know told you they don't like it?"

"No, I can't say I have..."

"I have."

"You ever… did worse?"

"Yeah."

"You wanna tell me about it?"

"You wanna hear about it? It's not a... not a fun story."

Nick didn’t need to hear much more to know what he was talking about, and if that was the case, the baker wasn’t alone.

"Not to make less of anything you want to tell me, but if it's about killing yourself, I tried to too."

Gideon wasn't surprised, perhaps because he saw something akin coming, or maybe because of his altered state. In any case, he was curious; it wasn’t a good thing to have in common, but at least he knew he wouldn’t scare him off.

"How so?"

"Nu-uh; if you show me yours, I'll show you mine."

It felt weird to talk about something considered so serious in such a lighthearted manner; perks of trust, I guess.

"Fine. My grandma died, I was alone, suddenly I had a whole bunch of new responsibilities and I didn't know what to do with my life."

"And you thought death was the best alternative."

He wasn't asking, he wasn't assuming; he just stated the truth, he knew how that worked.

"More or less..."

"What method did you choose?"

There was something morbid to this, but Gideon wanted to talk about it… fuck, talking to Nick was more useful than telling any psychologist how he felt.

"I tried drowning, but I kept getting too scared at the last moment... and I didn't fit entirely in the tub, my feet were hanging and my knees kept my chest up, so it was really uncomfortable."

"Of course, suicide must be comfy."

"Then I tried cutting my wrists; I didn't know how that really worked so I just shaved them a little. I didn't die, but it sure stung a lot. I even saw blood."

"Poor thing..." Slowly, the mood had been receding back to normal after the phone call and the following revelations, and Nick could afford to joke a little. But not without kissing his favorite fox’s cheek first; the times he had seen Gideon angry were due to the wrong reasons and he had learnt he didn’t want to see him like that. "And well, finally I tried to hang myself."

And none of what they were currently talking about seemed to affect Gideon much, at the bare minimum not in a negative way; in fact, with every word he pronounced he sounded a little more secure. If he was forced out the closet he’d bring his skeletons with him.

"Did it work?"

"Yes, I'm a ghost."

"And I have a ghost boyfriend." After the whole being outed thing he started liking that word more and more; it’s what they were, right? Besides, now it had this feeling of rebelliousness, knowing some people wouldn’t like it and why. They wanted to bring his Gid down? He’d spit in their faces.

"I used a belt and a coat hanger in a closet; the belt broke, hit my head, and I fell on my butt. But all that helped me realize something..."

"Gravity?"

"No; that my grandma's house was huge."

"...how?"

"I screamed, and the echo lasted for... a lot."

“And then what?”

"I sold the place… I had good memories, but I could keep those; I couldn’t take care of all that space alone. Then got the bakery, and the rest is history."

"That's way less dramatic than I thought it'd be, but I'm glad the ending wasn't 'and they found me naked floating on a lake'."

Finally, he made Gideon chuckle. He needed that; both needed it.

"Alright, tell me yours."

"It's kinda dumb..."

Compared to the baker’s his story wasn’t worth telling.

"Come on, Nick. Tell it, tell it, tell it!"

But the pudgy vulpine’s chant and smile – which was innocent enough but given the situation could be perceived as creepy as fuck – finally convinced him to do so.

"Fine... so, when I was 22 I thought I could make easy money if I bet all I had on camel races; I had a system and everything, but I fucked up, I lost thirty grand, and I tried to overdose on expired ibuprofen."

"How did that go?"

"One of my fellow homeless citizens took me to a clinic in her shopping cart, I got my stomach washed, I was called an idiot, and I met one of Mr. Big's men."

That perked Gideon’s ears up; that was the Mafioso, wasn’t it?

"Oh?"

"He told me he accidentally shot himself in the shoulder. I think he liked me; I mean, who wouldn't? But after telling him why I was there, he told me that maybe someone could offer me a job to get my money back."

Damn, _deus ex machina_ at its best.

"And that's how you joined the mafia?"

"I was more of an affiliate, but yes; one week after I was cleaning limousines and visiting homes of people who'd never see me."

"That’s… kind of a happy ending."

"I guess you could say that... and here we are now."

Gideon threw his head back, resting it on Nick’s shoulder and reaching the slenderer fox’s head with his left paw; he loved him, how could he not? It was… shit, I don’t know; they say you attract the kind of energy you emit, could that be it? What were the chances of that happening? Who’d have said these two had so many things in common? The ceiling didn’t have the answers, but he didn’t know where to look; there was a lot to assimilate. They were getting better at this, though; they didn’t cry this time.

"We're a mess."

"Because we couldn't kill ourselves properly?"

"No; because we tried to."

They deserved a break.

 

\---

 

But after every storm comes the calm.

"How are you feeling, Gid?"

"Honestly, I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Really, I'm... I feel better, kinda liberated."

"So, there's no problem?"

"I'm... going to avoid some people... and I'm realizing some comments weren't as friendly as I thought..."

"And how many people do you think know about it?"

Gideon took a moment; if he had to count every mammal one by one they’d have to spend quite some time on that couch.

"Uh... everyone here, half the population of Podunk, and half of Honeycomb Valley."

"Holy shit! How?!" Nick couldn’t wrap his head around what the other said; had they never heard of gays before?

"I've been an interesting topic for a long time, there's no concept of intimacy in these towns... I think one of Judy's sisters tried to send me to a conversion camp."

"Jeez...” He’d have to ask him what her name was. “I think all I can say is that you should worry more about what you want.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…” He did know, but ‘tell everyone to go fuck themselves and do whatever you want’ was not good advice; sometimes he felt that way, sure, but there were many ways that could be interpreted… once reworded it was something like. “…maybe put yourself first more often, try to ignore what everyone says, including me…” He wasn’t sure if that’d work. “…and that makes what I just said pointless.”

But Gideon did get something out of it; he had always been told what to and not to do, Nick was the first mammal to ever tell him he was free to make his own choices; insecure people are prone to be manipulated and probably they won’t even notice. “No… no, you’re right…” At least he’d have something to think about for the night.

“But hey, if it’s any consolation,” Nick couldn’t reach the front of Gideon’s mouth from where he was seated, but smooching the side of his muzzle would get the point across. “I’ll be a faggot with you.”

Not the most romantic or reassuring thing you could tell anyone, but Gideon understood; Nick’s playful demeanor was irresistible. He was to blame for the silly smile on his snout after all.

“At least you don’t have a lisp.” And he could take somewhat offensive jokes.

“Give me a skirt and I’ll show you.”

Shortly after Nick’s phone rang; their new bed had arrived. Thanks to a few extra bills they had to do nothing but look at the two delivery hyenas take care of everything; to Gideon’s relief, it didn’t break the feng shui and it was an adequate size. Wait, was it eight already? And what happened to those empanadas? Their goddamned feelings kept interfering with their lives…

“And now what?”

“Wanna take a shower? You kinda smell like fox.”

“ _You_ smell like fox! Did you see that guy’s face when he saw your shirt? I don’t blame him if he wants to burn my old mattress.”

“Wow Gid, I didn’t know you thought of me like that…”

“I didn’t say I don’t like it; I wouldn’t mind smelling more like you.”

“…do the two of us fit in there?”

“…we can try.”

 

\---

 

And like that, Gideon’s last ‘free’ day ended. New leaf, new bed, I guess.

_“Gid, I think I get now why you don’t like it when I spend money on you… but you need to know that I don’t pity you. You’ve been through some shit, I have too, and we’ve talked about it; sometimes it’s gonna be hard, but we can’t spend the rest of our lives crying about it.”_

And their new sheets had airplanes on them. Woohoo, airplanes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had something else in mind to write here, some pseudo intellectual shit or something. Anyway, Black Ken dropped today. 
> 
> OH SHIT I ALSO SAID I'D MAKE A SONG FOR THE FIC. FUCK. HAVE THIS
> 
>  
> 
> <http://warmdogfur.tumblr.com/post/164299291606/i-kinda-said-id-made-a-song-for-a-fanfic-and-i>  
> 
> 
> Be wary of the cloud people. 


	16. Hey, what kind of chapter of anything would need a 255 character long title? Like, what- what- what- what are you naming your stuff? Like, are you the author of that three million words Super Smash Bros. fic? Anyway, happy new year, but it's not new year.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon goes on a murder spree and uses the power of ancient demons to get revenge. Nick babysits for his sister's kids and many funny things happen. Judy dies again but no one cares.

Five in the morning; time to get up. Gideon’s eclectic sleep schedule ended up playing in his favor; by the time the phone under his pillow started vibrating he was already awake and pretty well rested. Is a series of erratic naps and telling someone things you never thought you’d get to pronounce the secret to true relaxation? Or maybe it was their new bed? Because let me tell you, that thing was amazing; it was like a cloud that hugged you and learnt what your body shape was and also your weight and adjusted itself- no, no… the mattress was great, but he had to work… but Nick was also there, completely asleep, with the most innocent and placid expression on his face and making faint noises every so often.

What a cutie; maybe he was dreaming? Or perhaps his unconscious mind realized Gideon had left the bed and was telling him to go back? Okay, that was too much of a stretch, no more procrastinating; the baker picked his clothes for the day and left the room. He thought about kissing Nick goodbye, but he didn’t want to risk waking him up. It was hard to resist, though; if you could just look at him, all nakey and adorable… in the end Gideon got dressed in his living room, looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and actually liked what he saw, and left ready to face the day.

He wouldn’t be with Nick as much as he had gotten used to, but it was okay, he had done more than enough for him; he wanted to compensate him somehow… well, for the past week he didn’t have the chance to make any desserts for him and that had to change. However, business goes first; he had to get everything ready for the day.

The ovens were on, his radio was on, and the entire block started smelling of freshly baked loaves and baguettes. He had to admit he was happy; what Nick told him changed his views on a couple of things. He was allowed to put himself first, he could do what he wanted the way he wanted, he didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations… fuck, he was feeling good.

Bunny Burrows made living harder, it was a reminder of everything he had been through. Walking down a specific street could change his mood, seeing certain building might make him want to disappear from reality. Everything around him was so familiar, so close to him; however, familiarity only means you get used to something, and potentially everything can hurt if it’s so close to you that is forced against your whole being.

And somehow Nick found a way to help him with that too.

_“You’ve been through some shit, I have too, and we’ve talked about it; sometimes it’s gonna be hard, but we can’t spend the rest of our lives crying about it.”_ And he was damn right.

His accent, his stuttering, his constant and unnecessary apologies that made him look softer than he really was... that was his fear, his stress, his anxiety, taking over his brain. Experiencing emotions that once he wasn't allowed to feel, not knowing how to react; insecurities.

_"Am I doing it right?"_

_"Is what they want right?"_

_"Am I doing what they want?"_

_"What do I want?"_

Uncertainty is worse than knowing the worst will happen. How do you solve a problem you're not even sure exists? However, once you learn you can answer your own questions, you free yourself from what kept you jailed; Gideon didn’t want anyone to pity him, not even himself. If you get stuck in the old ways someone else laid down for you, you’ll never advance.

_“Yes.”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“I don’t care.”_

_“I know what I want.”_

In fact, what did all that therapy help him with? After his parents’ death his aggression and his hatred for what he thought he’d never have eventually subdued; shit, Nick and his grandma had helped him more than that guy. Even punching Charles was more satisfactory and practical than having a stranger telling him to _“try to think about something else_.” What did he get in exchange? Barely respecting himself? Learning to count to ten instead of saying what he thought? Showing how vulnerable he was to everyone? No, that wasn’t Gideon; he was more complex than that.

He knew how to think, he understood how fucking social interaction worked; maturing comes with knowing when to speak up and when to be quiet. Was he supposed to stay a repressed, unhappy bully his entire life? Wasn’t he supposed to change? Who’s to say his therapist didn’t have something against Gideon too? For all he knew he might as well be a genius and had been treated like a dummy all his life. He got to the conclusion that laws and morality are a social construct created to keep the world civil, that his own conscience originated from his experiences, and that he didn’t have to accept what any mammal threw at his face because he wasn’t inferior to no one; an idiot couldn’t understand that. Perhaps that’s why his parents didn’t love him, perhaps he thought too much for their likes…

But just like parents hating their kids isn’t a novelty, the other way around isn't either; it's been happening since the dawn of time, if they’re given a good enough reason. In some cases it's like the moment they become parents something changes in their mind, they think they've become paragons of what's good and right in this world, and try to shape their children after them. Some even take their offspring having their own views and likes as an offense, as if they thought they're not good enough to be followed. In Gideon’s instance that could apply not only to his parents but to his therapist or even the Hopps too; his hatred and his fear came from thinking he’d lose what little he had if he made a wrong move. But that was gone.

Being with Nick had taught him a few things; about the world, about relationships, about himself… he wanted to be his own mammal, and not only in a financial way. Gideon Grey knew what he wanted; he wanted to be Gideon Grey. He didn’t want to be controlled by anyone, he didn’t want to depend on someone else’s choices, and he didn’t want to be scared of being himself anymore.

Gideon was feeling good in his own skin for the first time in ages; now he had someone that understood him, someone that helped him dropkick what kept pushing him down off a cliff hopefully never to be seen again, someone that accepted him and didn’t want to manipulate him... as far as he knew, he could tell Nick he had killed someone and the other wouldn’t bat an eye. In any case he’d probably even tell him what to do with the body.

All homicides aside, Gideon Grey was darned good at cooking; he liked it and he wouldn’t give it up for no one’s comments. He ran a business, that was his entire deal in Bunny Burrows. They didn’t like him? He wouldn’t put the other cheek anymore, and if they didn’t have manners not even in his own domain, he’d act upon.

Speaking of his bakery, the Hopps’ order was ready; he had changed quite a bit during his week away, but he didn’t have the need to show it. Still, he’d keep it cordial with everyone as long as they were respectful, but he wouldn’t treat the rabbit family as his slave masters anymore; and luckily on his way there he’d find someone he had the sudden urge to talk to.

Another batch was in the oven, his counter and baskets were halfway filled, and he already had had breakfast; it was time to get in the Very Good Delivery Van and go meet his nemesis!

 

\---

 

It was Stu who received him for a change; usually it was Bonnie waiting for him at their stand. Compared to his wife, the buck patriarch was colder; he didn’t ask many questions, he didn’t try to be overly friendly, and he usually kept the distances unless he wanted to throw what he considered a “very witty comment that’d certainly peeve the pie fox” somewhere in a conversation. It was kind of a challenge, he was able to find faults in everything Gideon did; how would he deal with that now?

_“Gideon, you can’t do that anymore.”_

That was the first thing the fox heard when he left his vehicle, and his only response was a perplexed look with little to no humor behind it. He didn’t even have time to do anything! What, did he park wrong somehow?

_“People’s been askin’ about your stuff all week, if you go on vacation again we might go out of business.”_ Oh, he was joking. Hah, right.

Gideon took a second to think what to reply; he had to drown his habit of apologizing and choose one of the answers that popped in his mind.

_‘Fuck you and your business.’_

_‘Didn’t you tell them I was away?’_

_‘Why do you smell of piss?’_

His choices put the tiniest of smirks on his face, but in the end he settled for a different one; why not trying what Stu usually did to him?

_“Aren’t your carrots holding up anymore?”_ And only by the face he made he could tell the rabbit wasn’t expecting that. Gideon even made him recoil!

_“Uh… yeah, but I guess people missed you.”_ Of course, everyone loved him; they loved him so much he knew for a fact there were mammals that lived near him that chose to buy his products from the Hopps because - and he could only make an innocent assumption since no one had any ill will – they didn’t want to bother him just in case he was too busy and couldn’t attend to all of his customers. So considerate…

_“I’m sure they did.”_ Can you taste the sarcasm?

In any case, Gideon was there to drop his load and leave; but since Stu felt like conversing, why not keep it going? Carrying bread wasn’t such a difficult task. _“How come you’re here and not stabbing some hay with a pitchfork? Did you swap places with the wife?”_ The intent in those questions was almost painful.

But it seemed to go over the buck’s head, who took it as a mere joke. “ _No, no; at least not today, maybe tomorrow if my back keeps actin’ up… we had a small problem with one of our grandsons. He’s a rowdy one and potty training ain’t easy; she’s still cleaning the mess.”_

That… was more information than Gideon wanted, but at least it explained the odor. Anyway, he was done there; he made sure they got what they ordered just in case the rabbit patriarch felt like complaining. He didn’t; he just thanked him, said they wanted the same for the following day, and asked if he was going to the Friday’s ceremony.

Bunny Burrows had traditions and beliefs that were uncommon given where they were on the map; they had patron saints, different liturgies, more orthodox Christian customs… and Gideon had showed up to many throughout the years. Was he religious? Not at all, but he felt forced to be there; it was pointless, though, since it seemed he never did right no matter if he assisted to them or not. Nah, no more of that.

_“No, I have plans.”_ Did he? Probably not, but he could cash it as a free day and he didn’t want to spend it surrounded by hypocrites talking about virgins; shit, he was sure the rabbit only asked because the fox could give part of his family a ride to the church. What even were they celebrating?

And that was it; he got in his van, started the engine… but before Gideon left Stu had something to add.

_“Hey, Gideon?”_ That was the first time the buck hesitated before telling the pie fox something.

_“Yeah?”_ To be fair, he was meeting a more assertive Gideon; the look on his face alone gave off a new vibe. It resembled Nick’s usual, but instead of having a relaxed smile under his apparently sleepy eyes his lips were pressed softly against each other, making him harder to read. Was he pouting? Annoyed? Complacent? Only he knew; however, his expression was more childlike since his cheeks puffed out a little and his eyeballs stayed fixed on whatever he looked at. He didn’t seem scared of much or especially attentive to anything; even if he was staring at you, you might think he was looking right through you, and his hair wasn’t helping.

He didn’t comb it so it was parted in the middle; it was more disheveled and a couple of strands fell over his eyes, a little like Tobey McGuire in Spider man 3 when he goes to the jazz club but with less slapping women and more sense of ridicule, and his still innocent face didn’t make him outright threatening. Plus he was still wearing his pink apron; the smiley pie on it took away like ten percent of his frightening value.

_“Was your week away… okay? You… I dunno, seem kinda different; you don’t even sound like yourself.”_ The baker knew perfectly fine what he was making allusion to; perhaps he showed more of his new self than he originally intended? Yeah, maybe; but it felt so good. He _did_ sound like himself, he was different, and he even made the usually proud and stubborn rabbit think twice before speaking; that was an achievement. Gosh, was he worried about his wellbeing?! Fuck off.

_“The best in my life, Stu. See ya tomorrow!”_

And Gideon was laughing all the way to the bakery. Well, not all the way literally, but he was so excited for his own behavior that he couldn’t avoid at least snickering. You know, old Stu even looked cute when he was worried… that’d surely be his source of feel good moments for the day.

Speaking of feeling good, Nick! If he had the slow day he thought he’d have, he could make something tasty for the older fox. What else did he have in the bakery’s freezer…? The only thing that could make his morning better was finding the mammal he thought of earlier, but he wasn’t that lucky. Well, he wasn’t in a rush; time to do the usual retailing.

Of course, he wasn’t having many customers that day, perhaps because they didn’t know the bakery was open or because they were afraid of _the gayness_ being transmitted. The few that went by seemed amicable enough, except for this one old lady; she said something along the lines of “how’s being a sodomite like,” and for the first time in his adult life, his retort was less than polite.

_“I don’t know, how’s having a husband that prefers to get blackout drunk by himself than being with you like?”_ Gossips are a double edged weapon. Gideon didn’t really know her; he just gambled and won. The sad thing is that applied to many mammals in the Burrows; alcoholism was also… _part of the culture._

She proceeded to vomit an enraged rant about how she didn’t deserve that disrespect, but Gideon had supporters; a couple of teenagers were in the bakery too, probably there to buy something during recess. One of them, a young male jaguar, had something to add. _“You’ve been telling everyone my parents have another child and that they don’t let him leave the house, you got what was coming to you.”_

A full blown dispute was about to erupt, and the lady seemed brave for an old rabbit, but Gideon – even if he was feeling a tad playful - didn’t want any of that happening in his bakery.

_“Enough! You, out of my store.”_ He was kicking her out. She said she wouldn’t be back, and he couldn’t say that saddened him. The jaguar and his companion, a ewe that was almost as tall as Gideon, gave him a bit of a background; to put it briefly, Mrs. Cuttail was _‘fucking insane’_ and she _‘talked shit about every pred in town.’_ Gideon didn’t doubt it.

Those two, though, were pretty well-mannered at least to him; maybe the next generation would be better? They even said thank you after buying their snacks! Who knows, maybe the Burrows weren’t completely lost.

Around eleven the pie fox received a call he wasn’t expecting; it was Nick, and he had something to ask him.

_“Gideon… how could you… leave this bed?”_ Yeah, how could him?! No, really, how? That bed, man… it was heaven.

_“Did you just wake up?”_

_“Maybe.”_

_“And you called because you want a morning kiss?”_ He knew what he was saying, and he knew he was in the middle of the bakery; but he didn’t care, he was the only one there. Hell, he could yell he wanted to fuck him on the counter and no one would be the wiser.

_“Maybe.”_

_“You can come down if you want, the coast is clear.”_

_“I can’t, I am one with the bed; you shall come and feed me from now on._ ” He loved that silly fox, and actually, he could go upstairs and feed him. But he didn’t mean it; he didn’t really merge with the bed. _“How’s the morning going?”_

_“Kinda slow, I’ll tell you when I’m done.”_

_“All ri-“_ And now that he had Nick on the phone…

_“Oh! Nick, what do you want for lunch?”_

_“Lunch?”_

_“Yeah, this is empty and I wanna make something for us; is there anything you want?”_ Nick took a moment to think, but he didn’t really know what the pie fox was truly capable of.

_“I trust your taste.”_ And that was a free pass for Gideon.

_“Anything else? My dealer is coming this afternoon.”_

_“Your dealer? Gid, is there something you need to tell me?”_

_“My supplier, I pretty much buy everything from her. You need baby wipes? A brand of juice you want?”_

_“Am I a baby?”_ Eh, the items he mentioned had a theme in common.

_“You’re mine.”_ Awww, his Gid sounded happy and was being sappy; he either was having a good day or was being held at gunpoint by some kind of romantic bandit that lived vicariously through other’s relationships.

_“Listen to me Gideon Grey, if you keep this up I’ll go down there and I’ll kiss you.”_

_“I’d like to see you tr-“_

_“Wait, yes; do you have toilet paper?”_ Way to kill their first phone call’s flirty ambiance.

_“In the cabinet next to the sink… baby wipes then?”_

_“…fine.”_ But hey, at least they had overcome most of their boundaries with each other! That was for the best, right? _Right?_ Did you know that your significant other can poop too?

_“I’ll be done in a couple hours, don’t stuff your belly.”_

_“I promise nothing, but I’m about to uneat-“_

_“Okay! See you later!”_ Though keeping some mystery makes things more… interesting.

So he could cook whatever he wanted? Good; time to run to Shawn’s store. Who’s Shawn? The ram Nick _‘’met’’_ the previous day; the Hopps weren’t the only ones growing and selling vegetables there, just like Gideon’s wasn’t the only bakery.

 

\---

 

At one in the afternoon the bakery was closed, and Gideon ended up selling more than he thought; his visit to Shawn’s was for the best. Turns out he also needed stuff from the baker; he had some relatives over for the week, you know, because of that thing on Friday, and apparently they were really into the local culture, which seemingly meant they liked to eat. If that wasn’t good enough, the ram gave him the idea of closing for the entire weekend, _“most mammals are leavin’ anyway, they takin’ their own holiday and so am I.”_

Man, he’d have to link his vacation with another one; well, what could he do about it?

And after that, back in his bakery, he had a much unexpected visitor; an adult male jaguar who asked him if he was the one his son told him about. And yes, he was; the boy from before told his parents the fox defended him from Mrs. Cuttail, and his father wanted to thank him. Gideon wouldn’t say he _defended_ him, it wasn’t that big of a deal; in any case, the man made the most of his visit and bought a little bit of everything from Gideon. Luckily he wouldn’t discover that his secret ingredients were extra butter and olive oil and would come back…

But he’d surely do. He was truly thankful; he mentioned his boy already got enough rejection and he commended Gideon’s actions.

_“They won’t leave him alone at school because his best friend is a ewe; they’ve gone as far as to call him all the names in the book, from faggot to rapist…”_

_“God, what’s wrong with people?!”_

_“You tell me; I learnt your name because of what others say about you.”_

_“Huh, all good things, I’m sure.”_

_“The same they tell about my family… but again, they’re all lies; I don’t have anything against you.”_

Gideon had seen Roger before, but he didn’t know his name or ever heard anything about him. It made sense, though; the most paranoid Burrowers wouldn’t want the predators to get along. But he was glad he met him; behind his burly body was a sensitive jaguar that wanted the best for his family and those he cared about, and he learnt he wasn’t the only one the cowards there had things against.

_“And Gideon, anything you need, just tell me.”_ Did he just make a friend? Or at least an acquaintance? In any case, there was one thought roaming his mind; _‘Nick should’ve come sooner.’_

Yeah, you could say it was thanks to Nick; he boosted Gideon’s self-esteem, he helped him leave the cocoon he was forced to hide into… he’d have to find a way to properly thank him. Like dessert.

And aside from those two especial customers, the day didn’t give him much of a benefit; but it gave him time to cook. At half past one he was knocking on his apartment’s door; actually, he was kicking it. His hands were busy carrying a couple of bags with fragile contents.

Nick opened the door without hesitation, he heard the baker pulling down the bakery’s protective door grills, walking up the stairs, and he could smell whatever the other was bringing.

The baker rushed inside, left the bags on his only table, and turned to face the other.

“Just what I ordered.” And there he was his favorite fox, as handsome as always in nothing but his underwear and doubting whether he should look at Gideon or check what was inside the bags.

The pudgy vulpine put an end to whatever train of thought he could have when he lifted him by his waist and started pecking as much of his exposed body as he could. He only stopped once to say _“I’ve been waiting to do this all day”_ before continuing, enjoying both Nick self and his unceasing giggles; it wasn’t a revenge display of affection like the previous day’s, Gideon was thanking him the best way he could. When the older’s feet reached the ground again he barely had time to react as Gideon lunged at him, hugging him and gnawing on his cheeks and neck, but at least giving him a moment to breathe and ask what was going on to which the younger replied _“I like to snack before lunch.”_ And the cherry on top of his diabetes-inducing greeting was a long, wet, messy smooch that left Nick wondering if he had died on his way to the Burrows and had reached his own personal paradise.

“Alright, time to eat!”

By the time Nick recovered, the table was set and there was what appeared to be a pie in the middle; in his opinion, everything looked scrumptious, but that really caught his eye.

“What are we having?” The ex-officer sat down and picked his fork, yet he didn’t know where to start. Whatever was right in front of him was definitely something stuffed, and the dish next to it had to be some kind of lasagna.

“Why don’t you guess?” Was the baker willing to reveal his own recipes?!

He was in the best mood he had been since… who knows when. Not even in Zootopia he had been so cheerful and energetic, mostly due to the constant doubts that came with his stay.

Everyone wants someone waiting for them at home, someone that hugs them and tells them everything's going to be okay; in some cases it’s impossible to tell if it’s love or fear of loneliness, but what if you kill your insecurities? What if you trust yourself and your someone so much that you’re happy with what’s left? Ask the foxes.

“Gid, I used to literally eat out of the trash; my palate isn’t too refined.” But those days were over and he had a boyfriend that cooked for him and kissed him a lot; he loved his life. For once, they didn’t have any problems!

“Alright then;” he pointed at the dish before Nick’s eyes with his fork and began. “Those are home fries, stir fried peppers, sweet onion and grasshoppers stuffed eggplants, and the other is an artichoke, tomato, cricket and dragonfly moussaka.”

Nick was a little lost. What was that last word he said? How do you stir fry when you only have ovens? Did he have all those things in his bakery? Why?

“…how did you do this?” He wasn’t incredulous, he believed his Gid could do everything he set his mind to; no, he was impressed. Hadn’t he been working? How did he have the time to make all that?

“I told you it was a slow day.” And Gideon was delighted; he had the most joyful of grins on his muzzle and he couldn’t but love Nick’s reaction. “I usually cook for myself because I get bored of doing nothing behind the counter; I just had to make a little more this time.” The former con artist was squinting at him, moving his mouth yet he not saying a thing; did he put the sly Nick Wilde at a loss for words? At the bare minimum, his efficiency was praiseworthy; they could have been good business partners…

“And…” The older vulpine gestured to the tray containing what had made his mouth water the most. “…that?”

Gideon wasn’t too sure of what it was either; he just put together ingredients he had around. “That… doesn’t have a name?”

“What do you mean?”

“I used pie crust, but I wouldn’t call it a pie.”

“What would you call it then?”

What could he call it? That thing also had a cookie and butterscotch base, a layer of cold chocolate cheesecake, a really slim one of vanilla junket, another one of strawberry cream, and topping everything was the thinnest of peppermint essence sheets. _‘I’m sorry I couldn’t find blueberries’_ wasn’t a good name, and the rest he thought of were too long and/or self-deprecating.

“I got an idea; if you like it you name it, if you don’t its name will be garbage.” But hey, that wasn’t the only thing to eat. “Now dig in before everything goes cold.”

And they did so; it was a really hearty meal in every sense of the word. Gideon told him about his day, _“(…) and then I met this guy, Roger. He seems nice, you might like him.”_ Nick enjoyed hearing him; he sounded so different from the Gideon he was trying to comfort not so long ago, but still, he was his same Gid. Alas, the town didn’t try to kill him, and every bite he took was an orgasm on his taste buds.

_“Gideon… you need your own restaurant… you’ll be richer than me; no! Wait! I want you for myself, the world doesn’t deserve this…”_ Ever **yth** - _“I’ll pay you! Am I being selfish?! I love you, isn’t that enough?! Do you want a mansion?!” Eve **rythi** \- “I’ll get you robotic arms so you don’t get tired… but I’m gonna need your help breaking into some places.”_

_…_

Everything was good, and it was especially satisfactory for the very same reason the dinner Gideon made was when Nick was his host; they really felt like a couple, like the concept of ideal couple they had in their minds. It could be described as an afterglow without sex. Can you blame them? It was their first true romantic experience, and they didn’t have many complaints; at the bare minimum they weren’t completely isolated from reality. They were building their own little world together, but they didn’t turn their backs on life.

_“Oh, Nick, are you religious?”_

_“God, no; wait… I mean atheist no – nothing… ness no? – Why?”_

_“Because we’re doing something fun this Friday.”_

_“Please don’t take me to church.”_

_“You might wanna go afterwards…”_

What did Gideon mean by that?!

Whatever it was, Nick couldn’t think about it; it was time for dessert.

And he liked it; he **_liked_** it.

If he had to choose a name for it it’d be what he said after taking his first bite. “ _Gideon, I wanna suck your dick right now. No, I’m serious, let me just… can you put it through the pie? No, no, I mean it.”_

The baker had to vehemently refuse and stop Nick from getting on his knees with a slice on his right paw and trying to open his fly with his left. “ _You’re not getting out of this that easily, Gid. As soon as I’m done I’m having a second dessert.”_

But when he was done he could barely move. _“Give me… give me half an hour and you’ll see.”_

Gideon was a ridiculously good chef and Nick wouldn’t mind dying of indigestion if it was his favorite fox who cooked, but his sex drive and his appetite were not compatible.

“Where did you learn all this?” The vulpines had moved on to their new bed just for the sake of it and the younger had changed into an attire similar to the other’s. His self-confidence rush started to wear off and he could go back to his softer, caring self; from then on maybe only Nick would see him like that, but that wasn’t a problem. Not everyone shows the same side of themself to everyone.

They didn’t even dare to kiss at that point, though; their bellies were full and making digestion noises, and the last time they tried to fool around after a meal Nick almost burped on his face. They didn’t need to touch all the time, yet still, they wanted to; running fingers up and down a forearm would have to suffice.

“My grandma taught me the basics and then I started trying out stuff.”

“You’ve never been to one of those cooking schools with the teachers that tell you to whisper beautiful things to the food?”

“Nope, I learnt mostly by burning it.”

“But you finished high school, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did you do after?”

“Not much, really; I couldn’t afford and I didn’t want to go to college, no one wanted to employ me, and I had to take care of my grandma.” Nick had heard him talk about her a few times, and unlike the times he mentioned the Hopps, he didn’t sound bitter or remorseful. You’d probably expect a nostalgic tone, but no, he sounded the most… neutral; he missed her, of course, but even if it was not a nice thought to have her passing was what allowed him to get his bakery. He was thankful, and he loved her, but he liked his present; she taught him many things, and among them was not to cry her death. _“I don’t want to see you cry while I’m alive, and I won’t be able to see you after I die, but if there’s a heaven know that I’ll be watching you, and when I look, you better not be crying.”_

She was loving but not sappy; she didn’t need hugs or kisses to know how someone felt about her. She was realistic, indifferent to nonsense, with her feet on the ground; Gideon really took a lot after her. Though he had cried more than she’d have liked. He was sure she’d have liked Nick, she also had a twisted sense of humor; you wouldn’t believe how many mammals she called thieves, sissies, adulterers and murderers…

“You really loved her, huh?”

Gideon’s only response was a low, affirmative hum, and Nick thought he deserved something. The mood and their bodies were far from adequate for sex, but there are more things you can do naked with your significant other on a bed.

“Turn around.”

The baker looked at the fox next to him, wordlessly inquiring with his raised eyebrows what was what he wanted.

“You’ve been working all day and I’ve been watching Mouse M.D., let me at least give you a backrub.”

Gideon closed his eyes and gave an almost unnoticeable nod, taking a deep breath before brusquely rolling in place and falling on his belly, letting out a barely audible “ouch.”

“Careful there, I can’t fix broken spines.” And without adding anything else, Nick kneeled topping the pudgy body with his legs bent and spread at his sides, merely brushing the fleshier hips with his thighs and began his task. His first goal was the baker’s neck and shoulders, and just like last time they did it, the massaged one was melting between the smaller paws; they were the perfect fit for his body, as if they had a mind of their own and knew just what to do. Gideon could feel it all over him; even though his upper half was the region receiving attention – with the exception of his tail being wrapped by Nick’s -, his lower back tickled from inside and his arms and legs felt like butter.

Nick’s touch was so pleasurable he couldn’t stop the wee moan that fled his throat, and the ex-officer picked it up.

“If you behave you’ll get belly rubs after this.” Gideon knew why he said that; he’d rather not think about what he did the previous day, but the older seemed to like it somehow. He couldn’t blame him for anything, though; he kept bringing up the peed nose incident, it was poetic justice, and he wouldn’t mind indulging the other with some childish behavior if he kept treating him like that.

The baker let out another whimper, this time on purpose, that he linked with a question for Nick.

“And how did you learn to do this?” He’d surely have a heartwarming story about how he… uh… did… - pleasure mobsters? God, please don’t let the next sentence end in _“happy ending.”_

“You think I know what I’m doing? Last time we did this I bit you and then ate you out. I mean, I guess that could be a good business plan, but still…”

“So you never gave a massage before?”

“Not really… I tried to make some extra money once, but a naked bear wanted to break my back,”

“…why?”

“The naturist club is… dangerous, and apparently you need a diploma to touch people.” It sounded more traumatic than heartwarming, but at least he never was a borderline gigolo. Good times, I suppose…

Nick’s paws ended up putting Gideon in a state of trance known as ‘asleep.’ since excitement is not a substitute for tiredness. The older decided to join him, but after around twenty minutes the younger awakened with a yelp.

“Fuck! Syd!”

Mr. Wilde didn’t know what was going on; the baker’s supplier would drop by around five, but he went back to his personal nirvana when Nick told him it wasn’t even three. What a responsible boy.

 

 

\---

 

Both foxes were back in the closed bakery at half past four; Nick wanted to help his favorite mammal in any way he could and he didn’t mind meeting one single weasel that didn’t even live in the Burrows. Though Syd was… strong; she didn’t look like much but when she shook his paw after arriving something made a crack noise, and she didn’t let any of them help her unload her truck.

_“I spend the whole day sitting on my ass, don’t take away my only chance to stretch my legs.”_ And she took it for real; she was _jumping_ out of the trunk with huge boxes full of whatever Gideon ordered, carrying them herself to the freezer and making Nick feel weak. He tried to but he wasn’t able to lift any of them, and his mate told him that it was okay, that he couldn’t either; the baker asked him if he was any good with math since he had two weeks’ worth of balances to check, and Nick was. If there was something his old passion taught him was how to count.

The weasel overheard them, looked at how Gideon’s paw caressed Nick’s hip, and she said without thinking _“Gideon, I didn’t know you had a nerd boyfriend.”_

Both foxes stared at her with matching blank expressions, and something clicked in her head; suddenly, her rudeness and tough chick behavior completely vanished. _“Oh my god! I’m sorry! I had no idea! I- I didn’t mean it!”_ And she tried to compensate her mistake showing them pictures of her girlfriend. The vulpines didn’t pay much thought; there were some things they ended up becoming immune to, but they hoped she could keep her mouth shut. It already was risky enough letting her meet Nick.

After finishing her business there and unloading another flurry of apologies on the duo, Syd left; she even refused Gideon’s invite to eat or drink something before hitting the road again. Well, it was her loss. The couple was done by seven and they still had a few hours to fool around and lounge together before going to bed; more precisely, before Gideon went to sleep. Their schedules weren’t the same anymore, but Nick had other mammals to bug with texts and shows to watch. Judy told him something about some stuff going down in the ZPD; Bogo had been arguing with the mayor or something. Nick didn’t pay much attention; Mouse and Cuddly had just broken up… man, that rodent sure was troubled.

And that was pretty much the pattern their week followed; on Wednesday and Thursday it was Bonnie who received Gideon, and after prying a little too much she too had a taste of his new self.

_“(…) and I won’t open again until Monday.”_

_“But… we’ll still be open.”_

_“Okay, have a good weekend.”_

_“No, Gideon, wait. You can’t-”_

_“I can’t?”_

_“You… just came back from your vacation.”_ Sure, call it a vacation if you want.

_“So?”_

_“… …nothing. It’s okay.”_

He wondered if the rabbit family had been talking about him; what was he thinking, they sure had. The entire town was, what would make them any different?

On his way back to the bakery, Gideon saw the mammal he had been looking for since Tuesday.

Phil, the local stoner; a sheep that worked at the Town Hall and usually did whatever he wanted. He was someone's nephew and that meant he had a free pass to do whatever he wanted, and also that he’d have mammals criticizing his every action, but as Gideon once heard him say, he _‘didn’t give a fuck about nothing and that entire town could lick his fluffy balls.’_ Pretty… inspiring, if you ask me.

A friendly approach would be for the best.

_“Phil, you need a ride to work?”_

_“Pie fox! You sure you want people to see you with me? You finna get some bad reputation."_

_"It's not like I'm losing much."_

_"Aight, if it's cool with you... hey, you always spoke like that?"_

He seemed relaxed enough, who knows why; perhaps he just trusted Gideon’s soft and spiky appearance, maybe he was in love with him… or maybe it was whatever gave him his characteristic aroma.

The fox had been wondering how to bring up the topic since he saw the sheep, and by the time they reached the Town Hall he had come to the conclusion that being blunt was the best alternative. Now, what was some hip slang for marijuana?

_"Uh, hey Phil... can I buy some...”_ Ganja, wacky tobaccy, devil’s lettuce… Jesus, how old was he?! _“…some…?"_

_"Say no more, my dude; how much?"_ The guy understood him anyway; was he like… the mayor’s dealer? What was his position exactly? Wait, he asked how much! Gideon didn't know about that, but since it was for Nick and him…

_"Uh... two?"_

_"Aight."_ The sheep got two tiny sealed bags full of what the other had asked for out of his fanny pack and kind of forcefully placed them in Gideon’s paw.

_"This is..."_ The baker took a peek, making sure nobody was near the parked vehicle; they were right in front of the Town Hall and that was, at the very least, adventurous. Unless… wait, was weed legal there? He had no idea, but what he did know is that he had more than two of them in his hand. Each bag could have at least, uh… three weeds?

_"You got paper?"_ Was that slang?

_"You mean money?"_

_"No, rolling paper."_ Oh, right.

_"No."_

_"Filters?"_

_"No."_ Phil produced another sealed bag, this time bigger, less scented and containing a black piece of cardboard and several small, white tubes. _“You got like forty and forty in there, just ask me if you need more.”_

That’d be more than enough, forty… joints? - Was that an acceptable name? - were already too many.

_“How much do I owe-“_

_“Shhh, you've already paid me;”_ Was he on drugs? _“sometimes I ask the Hopps for some of your material in exchange of keeping their kids away from mine.”_ Oh, nice. _“And here’s a free lighter because sometimes I think about your tail and feel guilty.”_

_“…thanks.”_

Well, that had been fun, a very smooth _exchange_.

Gideon hurried back to his place, but instead of entering the bakery, he went straight to his apartment; he didn’t know what to do with what he got, he didn’t know where to put it, he didn’t know how it worked and he didn’t know if it had some kind of microchip that’d help police locate him. Nick probably did, and if he didn’t, the internet ought to have the answers.

He awakened Nick and gave him the news and the bags.

_“Is this because of that thing I said?”_

_“Yeah, your list; and I think I know where to get a chocolate fountain...”_

_“… and you bought two grams?”_

_“Is that too much?”_

_“It’s enough… it could put us to sleep, unless you’re secretly a stoner.”_

Gideon put his reading glasses on and-

_“Wait, you wear glasses?!”_

_“Yeah? Sometimes?”_

_“Can you kiss me? I’m stuck to the bed.”_

-and kissed Nick, and looked up what he needed to know;

_“…so cute…”_ Right.

Marijuana wasn’t entirely illegal there as long as it were for personal consumption, he learnt about the benefits of THC, _“this thing is good for cancer?”_ and found a few tutorials on how to roll it.

_“Don’t you have to work?”_

_“Eh, it’s early.”_

At least he didn’t know he could cook it…

And that was it; they only had to wait until Friday for Gideon’s plan to come to fruition.

…

…

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've posted so much lately I don't even have any notes to write. Like, have you heard that Royce/Tech collab? Kinda weak. You know who's also weak? Not me, I have muscles. Many muscles, a lot of muscles, all the muscles. Like, three whole muscles. 
> 
> No I don't, I just wanted to impress you. Sorry I lied, I don't have any; I only have like five bones. Hey, and why did all the fics I started reading last summer die? I mean, the plots were consistent, the writing was cute - wait a second.
> 
> Fuck you, Hemingway.
> 
> So as I was saying, probably they moved on. Oops, gotta shave! My children need another dad and I won't find him if I don't go to the gas station! You'll always find noble and loving men in the bathroom there. Either that or grandpas jerking off in the urinals. Always use and close the stalls, that's my advice for now.


	17. No, really, why do I need a title? It's chapter 17, you know that, what else do you need to know? You ask too much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon finally unlocks his true potential, but the Z warriors doubt it will suffice when Cell catches him off guard and proceeds to absorb his energy. Krillin and Gohan are ready to fight the organic warrior and free their friend from his perfect grip so he can put an end to his genocidal wishes... when suddenly, a mysterious warrior appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys whast up dark_narutofan777 here again wiht another chapter of forbidden lobe sasuke x vegeta and now their Son beguke who look like me and kahkhasi and has a 6 pack has the rinengan and sahringna and can turn super sayani 4 god amaretasu god black fire sussano super god sayain and kill zeno is pergnanant AGIAN !!!!!! and thr dad is goten but bejeta hate him becus goku )kakarott) is his dad and he cheat on trunk uwu........... what will hapen????

_Bee bee- bee beep._

“Fuuuuck…” Have you ever been so tired and wowed by a show’s finale that you forgot to put your phone on silent? Nick Wilde has. Turns out that Winston the oncologist had cancer – the irony! - and Mouse faked his death to avoid jail and spend his friend’s last months of life with him; by the time the fox went to bed his mind was too focused on those events to prevent being awakened by a phone call or a notification, and the latter is exactly what happened. He received a couple of texts from Judy saying she was going back to her place, and when Nick mustered the brain force to reply and ask her why she said she had no reason, that she just missed her two square feet. He’d look into that later, now he had a dream about becoming a bionic cyber fox to go back to; hopefully squeezing Gideon would put him to sleep.

However, when he turned around all he could hug was the sheets; the baker wasn’t there.

“Gi-” No, that wasn’t a voice a regular mammal could have. Had he been snoring? A quick and dad-like throat clearing after he tried again. “Gideon?”

He waited a couple of seconds and got no response. Didn’t he say he wouldn’t open on Friday? According to his phone it was a quarter past nine in the morning… what could he be doing? Oh, no… maybe he was addicted to cooking and the bakery was a cover?! He’d take him to rehab, he’d help him kick the habit! Perhaps he had run away! He knew Nick would find out and he wouldn’t stop his baking for anything!

Or perhaps Nick needed one more minute to escape his drowsiness’s haziness. Once he remembered how to walk again he explored Gideon’s domicile in its entirety, making the most of his search to alleviate his bladder, and finding no other living creature besides himself. But hey, there was a lukewarm empanada on the counter… Gideon had been there not too long ago; either that or he heated it so much that he couldn’t eat it and left. Was it something the baker didn’t get to eat, or something he wanted Nick to eat? Would it count as breakfast or as very early lunch? Was it poisoned? Would Nick regret having already eaten it? So many questions… that could be answered if he used his phone and rang his boyfriend. _Hehe… boyfriend._

But when he did so he got no answer; his alternatives were staying there and wonder if Gideon was working, or visiting the bakery and check it himself. I mean, if he opened one of the windows that faced the street he could have seen what the baker was up to. Oh well, time to get sneaky; good thing he brought his only pair of sweatpants, they give a ten percent plus to agility.

He got dressed and took a peek out the door; good, the street was empty. He walked down the stairs, making sure no one was around, and ran to the entrance of the bakery… which was closed. Wait, he saw something out of the corner of his eye; it was a very familiar tail. He walked towards it and found its owner; Gideon! Gideon was in his garage! Gideon was putting something in his van! And that was Gideon’s van, very pink! Nick didn’t know the bakery had a garage! What a fulfilling morning.

The ex-officer crept up behind him and muttered his name.

“Gide-“

“ _Fuck_!”

Effectively startling the oblivious vulpine.

After properly greeting each other with close body contact Nick was hesitant about at first until Gideon proved that they were completely by themselves – _“the only place open right now is Rita’s; I could yell I spit in everything people buy and only you’d know”_ – they could get down to the explanations.

“And what are you up to?” Nick still didn’t know why the baker was there; I mean, sure, the place was his and he could do whatever he wanted, but what could have possibly inspired him so much that he was willing to leave Nick alone in that _marvelous bed_?

“Getting things ready for today.” Saying Gideon was excited would be an understatement; he was flying around like a hummingbird, trying to sound nonchalant and cool like his Nick but failing and revealing his true colors. However, Nick only knew there were colors, not specifically which ones.

“Today?”

“I told you we’d do something fun.”

Wait…

“You mean that thing you said about a mass? Because really, I’m not going to church.”

Gideon’s only response to Nick’s concern was an audible giggle. He stopped whatever he was doing and looked at the older fox like an enthusiastic dog looks at his owner when he’s asked if he wants to go to the park, with a toothy and confident smile on his muzzle. It was far from menacing, but Nick wasn’t used to that expression; eh, if his Gid was happy he was happy too.

He wouldn’t sacrifice him to please the rabbit gods, would he?

“Did you roll it?”

“What?”

“Did you roll it?” Gideon repeated changing nothing about the way he pronounced those words. You already know what he meant, and Nick did as well.

“No?” Did the baker know what ‘wake and bake’ meant?

“What are you waiting for?”

Well, Gideon was being proactive. That was… good?

Nick had already warned him about what his apartment would smell like if they smoked there and apparently he was getting his van ready for some kind of trip, so maybe he thought about going somewhere and doing it there… did the baker want to get high in a church? Had he done it before? Can you get closer to god that way?

In any case, the plump vulpine had given him a task he ended up accepting a bit reluctantly; he was bribed with some neck nuzzling and promises of good times, which were effective only because it was Gideon who did it. He knew of a guy that did the same, though the results he usually got were of the violent kind.

Time to watch tutorials! He didn’t really know how to roll joints, or anything for that matter; he never had the need to learn. Anyway, what could Gideon possibly have in mind?

* * *

 

It took Nick practicing with some dry thyme he found in Gideon’s kitchen and twenty eight failed attempts, but eventually he rolled some decent looking reefers; at one point he believed he’d run out of paper and thought of just dropping everything in a glass, putting it in the microwave, and inhaling the results using a straw. Good thing he didn’t, because the baker was a big boy and didn’t have any. Sure, maybe the buds weren’t perfectly grinded and one of the joints had two filters, but they were smokable; as far as he knew Gideon wouldn’t complain, he didn’t even know what he had bought.

He could ask him himself, the baker was entering the apartment at that exact point. Quick! How does one do a Cuban-stoner accent? Ah, too late, the baker spoke first; he stood behind Nick, leaning on the couch and kissing his head before checking on the material.

“Is it ready?”

“Yep;” Nick slanted back looking at the other fox with his game face on; they were drug lords now. Boy, Gideon sure was sweaty, but his demeanor hadn’t changed a bit from before. “Ignore the ones on the right, those go better with meat.”

“Are they… stuck to the table?”

“…I have a big tongue.” And no one wants slobbery thyme in their lungs.

The younger vulpine either understood or decided to ignore whatever that meant; he wasn’t in a hurry, but he didn’t want to waste any time.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?”

“Okay, the treating me like a baby thing might need to stop.” For your information, Nick had great control of his sphincters.

“Maybe, but I’m gonna shower; go now or use the kitchen sink.”

“Why? Can’t I join you?”

“Not this time.” And that was too weird; yeah, perhaps the two foxes couldn’t fit in Gideon’s shower and not come out with certain joint pain, but when had Gideon ever rejected an offer like that? Not once since they met… yet to be fair they met not so long ago, and they hadn’t showered that much. But that wasn’t the point. “You don’t need to shower.”

“Am I, like, too clean?” Good question.

“…you don’t need to be clean.” Good… answer? At that point Nick was allowed to be offended, and also to come to some conclusions.

“First, ouch; second, does this have anything to do with your offer from last night?”

That would make sense; I mean, has your partner ever told you that they’d suck you off but that you couldn’t cum? Sure, some people are into edging and all that, but that was too much; like lighting fireworks and throwing a bucket of cold water on them when the fuse is about to run out. That wouldn’t make anyone happy.

“Maybe.” And like that, Gideon turned around with a swing of his tail and got in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“Can I at least watch you undress?!”

“No!”

Good thing they didn’t have neighbors; think of the faces they’d make if they heard something like that.

Maybe the rabbit gods preferred pent up sacrifices…

“And don’t dress too fancy yourself, we might get dirty where we’re going.”

That… didn’t help.

 

* * *

 

By the time they got inside Gideon’s vehicle, Nick hadn’t gotten any new answers. You know, in Zootopia he at least knew a few alleyways good for hiding, but here if he had to run away… well, fuck him and his spatial perception.

“Gid, please, at least give me a hint!” The addressed mammal was all cheerful and energetic, which was always a good sight, but Nick _needed_ to know the reason behind his demeanor. Of course, Gideon wasn’t actually going to take him to a closed space filled with animals that wouldn’t appreciate his presence, would he? The ex-officer wouldn’t mind as much if he could at least run away, and maybe they didn’t have torches and pitchforks, but there’s power in numbers; one predator wouldn’t have the advantage against a hundred preys. Wait, was he really thinking about fighting them? And in a church no less?

God, he had been trying to stay away from the spotlight as much as he possibly could… Gideon wasn’t thinking about performing some kind of twisted shock therapy, right? It’s… he was- he had noticed the baker had gained confidence lately, and that was fantastic. However, when one’s too high on self-esteem their ego can turn into overzealous arrogance, and that can drive anyone to do things they normally wouldn’t even dare to think about. Could Gideon’s newfound pride put Nick in the kind of situation he feared the most? _‘If I could do it, you can too.’_

No. No, Gideon didn’t think like that. The only explanation that really made sense to the older fox was revenge; revenge for making the baker deal with his father.

“You’re hyperventilating.” And his jaw was trembling, and a bead of sweat run down his neck drawing a dark road on his fur, and his paws were stuck to his knees, gripping them as if he wanted to break the bone… Gideon had been observing him all that time; the pudgy mammal wanted to keep things mysterious a little longer, but he started worrying when the other ignored his ‘ready to leave?’

For a few seconds he just looked at Nick, and you couldn’t blame him, on the outside he just looked deep in thought; yet when the slenderer’s breath became audible and his erratic chest movements drew waves on his t-shirt he knew something was awry. He also knew his Nick, yet such behavior didn’t match any of the patterns he had unconsciously learned to recognize; if he could stay calm, he’d reduce it to sickness, stress or perhaps fear. But after all, Gideon was still Gideon; he was freaking out too.

“Nick! Are you- what’s going on? Nick, Nick!”

And one of those finally reached the mammal whose name was being called.

“Please don’t take me to church. Please, please, Gideon- please!”

His words were nothing but a low murmur, he was short of breath and he hadn’t even realized; his eyes were stuck on the glove box and he hadn’t noticed his partner’s voice until he shouted his name.

“No! No, no, no! This- Ah was gonna take you on a picnic! Please, tell me what’s happ’n!”

“Gideon, I-“ Wait.

Hold on, did he say picnic?

For the first time since he got in the car his gaze abandoned the compartment in front of him and looked at the younger vulpine confused and… with a hint of killing intent.

“Can you repeat that?”

Gideon gulped, his counterpart’s drastic shift in demeanor wasn’t exactly inviting. His body language, his voice and his look told him one thing: he had fucked up.

“Ah- I thought that you’d spent too much time locked up in there, and I’ve missed spendin’ time with you. Maybe we could- I dunno, have fun somewhere… just, relax and-“

The baker’s explanation was cut short when Nick started snickering; a snicker that quickly turned into an almost hysterical howl. All that did was worrying the plump vulpine even more. He didn’t know what to do; the other was laughing, and usually that was something good, but given the situation…

“You fucking asshole!”

Nick was relieved.

Whatever he was feeling before vanished, whatever it was he feared, gone; his guffaws were born from a mixture of diminishing anxiety and sincere joy. How could he even think his Gid was going to put him in the spot? All he wanted was to spend more time with him.

“Scratch that, I’m a dumbass…” The former con artist leaned back on his seat as his laughter died down and his breath recuperated its usual steadiness, coughing from time to time due to the sudden stress on his vocal chords, but overall feeling better with each passing second. “…fuck, you got me good.”

“Are you… are you okay?”

However, Gideon was still out of the loop, why did Nick react like that? He planned on surprising his boyfriend, and yes, in a way he did, but not how he originally intended.

“Yeah, yeah… I get anxious sometimes. I thought you really were going to make me meet the townsfolk.”

That the baker could understand, he had been there many times before, and they had already gone over that. Turns out both were bundles of nerves covered in fur.

“No, I wouldn’t do that-“

“I know, you don’t have to worry.”

In the end, it was a big, dumb misunderstanding. Gideon had good intentions and Nick was all for that picnic; a couple minutes and some delightful ear scratching later, things went back to normal, as if that display of anxiety and vulnerability never happened. Fuck, the day had just begun and they already had their fair share of emotional bullshit, and that’s _not_ part of a balanced breakfast.

But it was finally time to hit the road.

_‘At least we’re even now; surprising him in the train backfired too… but that’s one more thing we have in common, I guess.’_

“So, if it’s not an altar where I’d be sacrificed to please Burg’ah Bah, the rabbit god, where are you taking me?”

“A place I know, and I promise that if you die if won’t be my fault.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“We’ll be completely alone.”

“I’m still lost, but I trust you.”

“I thought you needed some sun; I can hear your knees crack when you stand up and you’re starting to get gray.”

Right then and there, Nick noticed something about Gideon’s outfit; he was wearing his overalls, and that sight alone instantly put a grin on his face, the kind that makes you squint your eyes and bite your lower lip.

_“I’m getting some Grey alright.”_

How could he ignore that? Well, so far he had spent most of their trip stopping the bag containing their joints from falling off the glove compartment; that thing just wouldn’t stay closed… in any case, the baker’s clothes were a clear hint of what was about to come, and since it wasn’t sacrificial murder, it surely was them.

Before his thoughts could get more PG 13, Gideon resumed their conversation. "You've been acting like a baker since you came here, some fresh air can’t harm us."

"Uh, acting like a baker? You mean... like you?"

"Yes, but no.” A bump in the drive told the fox that didn’t know where they were going they had abandoned the paved road; now all that surrounded them was grass and trees, and Nick liked that bucolic picture. It was definite, no praying for him! “There's this law more to the south that lets people with mental problems be held in an asylum for three days against their will, and they call it baker act."

"Huh..." The older felt almost compelled to ask if that ever happened to him after seeing how most times the younger fox talked about his shrink a layer of sadness and resentment engulfed his voice. The unemployed vulpine decided against, Gideon made plans and he didn't want to ruin them with more sobbing and leaky noses; still, he understood what the baker meant. "That was some great wordplay, Gid, but I'm only giving you a nine out of ten because the real thing doesn't sound fun."

"And how can I get that extra point?"

Oh, did the actual baker want to get frisky?

"See me after class."

The truck came to a halt.

They looked at each other after that little exchange, both letting out unsure, nervous chuckles and with eyes suddenly shying away from their counterpart's irises; three days of celibacy and a morning that started with a big bowl of confusion made what just happened hard to read, was it a joke or...?

Well, there wasn't much room for embarrassment.

"Are you into that? That roleplay thing?"

Good question, was Gideon into that? He thought for a moment, and if his internet history was any indication...

"I... don't know, never tried it. I kinda know how it goes but I'm not sure if I wanna buy a schoolgirl costume."

Great answer. Surprisingly enough, his words left his mouth with great naturalness; either he had gotten over his sex related bashfulness, or he was serious.

"We'll have to look into that later... think of it as extra homework."

Whatever the truth could be, to Nick it was another seam of jokes to exploit.

And Gideon wouldn’t admit he liked them until he could come up with an appropriate retort. "Never mind, I'm already regretting it." He mumbled rushing out of his car, hiding the silly grin that found a home on his muzzle and trying to ignore Nick's threat of sending him to the principal office. 

The older followed suit, taking in their new environs with a deep breath that filled his lungs with the scent of unadulterated nature and stretching his arms as if the lack of any mammalian construction allowed him to free himself from the shackles of the kind of life an average urbanite usually lives. Or maybe he was suppressing a yawn and his shoulders were a little stiff.

The new sight was nice, though; not breathtaking, more like the kind of oil painting hanging next to the TV in your grandma’s house, but enjoyable nonetheless. They could feel the fresh, wild grass under their feet, long enough to barely touch the soil but not as rigid as to prick their paw pads; just ideal to walk on. Before their eyes was a small pond, and if Nick had to guess, it would cover up to his waist; if he squinted and looked beyond the reflection of the white clouds above them he could see the soil at the bottom, so it couldn’t be too deep.

“We going skinny dipping?”

Gideon looked at the water for an instant before replying.

“It rained not too long ago… sure, I bet it’s cold, but it’s clean.”

“I’m not scared of a little shrinkage.”

At least climate change made that late February morning warmer than it should be, so in case it happened, such shrinkage wouldn’t last long.

And that was all they had nearby. A few yards away many trees were discernable, oaks, maybe maples… botany wasn’t Nick specialty. But yeah, that was it; no stores, no buildings, no cars. Just countryside calmness.

“Where are we?” The older fox couldn’t complain, he liked it there. Gideon had the right idea, it looked like the ideal place to spend some quality time.

“Somewhere no one ever steps foot onto, except for me.”

Nick looked at the plump vulpine with his eyebrows raised. “Do you own this?”

“At this point you could say I do.”

That sounded ominous. There had to be a story behind that answer, and Nick would come up with absurd theories until he got it right.

“Have you terrorized everyone who came to your spot?”

“No-“

“There are booby traps everywhere and only you know how to dodge them?”

“Nick-“

“Did you hide in the pond and wait until someone came to spook them, therefore becoming the monster of the pond and making life here more interesting?”

But Gideon too had come up with a couple ways to stop his boyfriend’s occasional goofiness; one was counterattacking with his own, and the other, more lethal, was the _‘you’re doing great, honey’_ smile. In this case it worked wonders, making the older fox stop with a cartoonishly exaggerated shrug and an inaudible “okay”. Damn, the student was starting to surpass the master…

“…Nick, you see those trees?” He pointed at a specific group of such plants to their right.

“Yes.” But the master wasn’t so easy to defeat. “Is there a real monster and-“

Yet the student had terrain advantage. “Go there for a second.”

“Is something gonna eat me?”

“Probably, but really, go check them out.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I wanna get something ready.” Nick wasn’t too convinced at first. “Please?” But Gideon made _that_ face. You know the one; puppy eyes, head inclined seventeen degrees to the left, lips slightly pressed against each other in an innocent, pleading pout… fuck, he knew the ex-officer’s weaknesses.

Given that he had nothing to lose except for maybe his life, the older accepted the request not too begrudgingly. ‘ _What does he want me to see anyway?’_

And when he was just a little over five feet away, he understood; it was faint due to the recent rains, but he could recognize it.

Gideon had marked his territory.

A shout crossed the field and reached the baker. “I get it now!”

“I knew you’d like it!” The younger replied in a similar manner.

“Yeah, I do! I might have a problem!”

“At least it’s legal!” There was a weird pleasure in screaming at the top of their lungs about Nick’s fetishes. And why not? He’d join Gideon in keeping that area free of any other mammal, that was a task he was happy to perform; some would go as far as to even call it romantic, some others would say that’d be a great cruising spot, and… I the narrator would rather not say anything. Although, how could thing still smell? No, really, it had been a little over two weeks since the last time Gideon visited that place, and in the meantime it had rained. Just how strong was it? What did he drink? Did that area legally belong to Gideon? Questions for later.

Once back with his loved one, Nick had an inquiry as well.

“So, aside from peeing all over the place, what else can you do here?”

“Punch trees.” Was all the baker replied in the most nonchalant of ways as he attended some business in the back of his truck. Was that a towel Nick saw?

“Punch trees? Did you come here to punch trees?”

“I was a lonely kid, I was angry, there wasn’t much more I could do…”

“I see… and people don’t come here because you do, or they didn’t come and you did?”

That was like asking what came first, the chicken or the egg, but in Gideon’s case… some _curious_ mammals wandered over and one way or another ended up finding out that place already had a continual visitor, and some others heard who that visitor was and decided they didn’t want to have anything to do with him. It wasn’t necessarily something negative; he had a spot to let his teenage angst run wild with no one to bother him, and it was perfect for de-stressing. See? Not being liked had some perks… uh… like acting like a hermit.

“Both, the synergy is great here.”

Did Gideon just use the word ‘synergy’? Nick didn’t have to say anything for the younger to explain himself, _“What? When I opened the bakery I read one of those books about business management. Did you know that it’s okay to compliment your employees but not to the point of not making them feel worthless?”_

But if he had to be honest, he was more interested in the smell of that trunk. Years of freshly baked goods had imbued the interiors with the scent of Gideon’s workplace and it was really toothsome; he wondered if the flavor was there too…

The older took a peek, and what he saw didn’t disappoint; two tote bags with what he guessed were their meals and any other thing Gideon thought they could need for the day sat on top of a makeshift bed composed of bath towels, square cushions, and what he recognized was the baker’s old pillow. If he added that to the plump mammal’s overalls and his insistence on not emptying their seminal vesicles…

_‘Gideon Grey, you fucking tease.’_

“What do you think?” The younger fox was clearly proud of his creation, if his tone and his confident smile were any indication. Man, it felt so good to have pride! And he already knew the kind of answer Nick would give.

“Are we trying it out now?” His question didn’t really need an answer; the slenderer quickly sat on the edge of their new cot, eagerly grabbing the other by the waist and bringing him closer. He was finally allowed to unwind, and he’d squeeze and milk that opportunity until the last drop came out. Gideon didn’t reply either; his confident smile turned into a half flirtatious, half embarrassed smirk as he became the piece of art Nick’s paws appreciated the shape, form and texture of.

When he was about to undo the buttons that kept his sleeveless onesie in place, the older let out a low but assertive “don’t”; he wanted his favorite fox to wear it for one reason. He liked how clandestine and strangely dad-like it felt to touch his body over the rugged overalls... not that he'd tell him. There's a fine line between a pseudo daddy kink and letting your daddy issues come to life. However, that was something for another time; he was busy running his hands up and down Gideon’s buttocks, letting his fingers get stuck in the tail hole trying to feel some of the baker’s skin. He could just take it off, but Nick craved that morbid feeling of forbiddenness. On the opposite end, right before his face, there was something that seemingly desired to free itself from the clothing, as if pressing the baker’s behind helped sprout something on the front. Who’s to say that wasn’t the case?

The older snickered to himself when the denim covered protuberance hit against his right cheek, and he did the only appropriate thing to do in that situation; he rubbed his muzzle on Gideon’s confined erection, eliciting a barely audible “fuck” from the younger. The baker was both enjoying and suffering whatever that was. Foreplay? Teasing?

God, he too was pent up, and keeping himself from unzipping his fly and jerking off right then and there was a herculean feat. His paws pressed against the back of his neck for the lack of a better place to put them, his molars clenched and his front teeth showing through the small gap his lips gave room to as his platysma stressed and his chin trembled, his breath unsteady unsuccessfully trying to calm down as he felt his arousal growing at an alarming rate… but at least Nick seemed to be enjoying himself. Fuck, that better be worth it; he wouldn’t want to explain why there was a white stain on his front during the next country fair.

Yeah, the slenderer was having a great time, even though his dick wasn’t receiving any attention. At least his sweatpants were more spacious, and not touching himself was part of his fantasy; he just wanted to take in everything that came to him. The smell of fabric that hasn’t been worn in a long time and Gideon’s musk growing and mixing itself with the first, the asperity of the material against his fur and skin, every little sound and movement… that was it, he needed more. For barely a second Nick broke their touch only for his hands to find a new objective: the unyielding, pulsating cock that yearned for real contact. At first the ex-officer thought of teasing a little more, delineating the unmistakable shape of Gideon’s erection with a finger and observing the faces he made, but that would only make things harder for him and certain tingling right behind his ballsack told him that his lower half would burst if he didn’t do something about it.

Luckily this fetish wasn’t set in stone, rushing things up could be part of it too. He quickly took care of Gideon’s zipper, relieving the younger for an instant before his fingers reached into the opening and found the last piece of clothing that stopped him from reaching his objective. Nick had no time to look for the fly on the pudgy fox’s underwear, he _wanted_ that dick; fueled by his passion and lust he introduced as much of his right paw as he could, ejected his claws as delicately as he could in his state, which meant not scratching Gideon, locked them on what his paw pads recognized as an elastic band, and pulled the briefs down with all his might. That action translated into the baker’s underwear being ripped apart and his heart racing in fear of ending up accidentally emasculated.

No matter the methods used, it worked; Nick could finally pull out Gideon’s soaked cock, and as soon as the air kissed it, the red flesh found a new shelter in the older’s mouth, making the recipient of the blowjob yelp and grab onto the truck’s trunk doors for dear life. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he was going to-!

The fact that the baker’s knot didn’t fit through the overalls’ fly didn’t stop Nick from deepthroating Gideon with so much force that it hurt his nose against the metallic zipper and pushed the younger’s hips back. He didn’t care about any of that; he could finally feel it, its warmth, its unique taste, the layer of precum that coated-

_His legs were shaking, his respiration loud, his face indescribable._ “Nick, Ah’m cu-!“

It was too late for words. An unstoppable yell interrupted his sentence, feeling the ecstasy he had been missing those last few days wash all over him, losing his sense of self, shooting stream after stream of thick, tepid, semen in Nick’s humid entrance. Usually that would have been all, but the older wasn’t done; he had been storing Gideon’s cum in his mouth, and when he felt the other’s throbs started to die down marking the end of his load, he began twirling his tongue around the still stiff cock, bathing it in its own juices. Such action brought the baker back to reality as his hyper sensitive dick received way too many stimuli, and it also brought him to tears as he wasn’t used to such a powerful sensation.

“Ni- N’ck! Ah- ‘ck!”

Gideon’s gasping was louder than his attempt at talking, and when he looked down with a broken expression, with eyes almost unable to stay open and his upper fangs biting his lower lip as if he wanted to rip it off, he found Nick looking back at him.

One was defiant and didn’t want to let go, the other was defeated and would give anything for him to do so.

The slenderer seemed to notice, for he finally freed Gideon’s erection, but first he made sure he had his undivided attention; once their bodies weren’t joined anymore Nick threw his head back with his mouth open, showing the other his prize, and swallowed the contents with a loud gulp.

The baker didn’t know if it was a power thing, or if it was revenge for not letting him cum the days prior to their picnic. At the time he didn’t care about any of that, or his torn underwear, or his still exposed penis with a drop of dense saliva falling from its head… no, once he took control of himself again there was only one thing on his mind: compensation.

“I always get to go first.”

Before Nick could react in any way, he was pushed against the cushions behind him. Gideon kept him in place, holding him down with a firm hand on the thinner shoulder and determined to complete his new mission.

Now that the older was lying face up, the pudgier could clearly see his erection pointing at the sky, topped by a minuscule dark stain on his grey sweatpants. In a manner similar to Nick’s minus the clawing due to the dulling of his, Gideon pulled both pants and underwear down at the same time, exposing the firm cock and the cream colored scrotum that so far hadn’t been touched, and locking them in place with the elastic bands of his garments.

“Gide-“

“No.”

Gideon was resolute but not angry, as his face showed a malicious smile and he quieted Nick down with a finger that playfully brushed the still wet lips of the older. What was he going to do? The ex-officer could only guess… and for some reason the amount of teeth Gideon was showing drove his mind to scenarios he didn’t even know wanted to occur. The baker let go of the former con artist’s shoulder and sat next to where Nick originally was before turning around and focusing entirely on the most sensitive flesh there; the slimmer one was alone, since most of Gideon’s had retreated back into his sheath for the time being.

“Move and you’ll have to change your name to Nichole.”

“Wha-“

His plan was a bit more morbid than his counterpart’s.

Gideon pulled on Nick’s skin, using his sheath to cover his base and engorged knot, acting as a foreskin of sorts; he kept it in place with his right thumb and index, and before he introduced the whole thing in his mouth, he licked his lips looking at Nick the same way he looked at him before swallowing his seed.

“Wait, Gid-!”

He felt it. The first time Gideon tried to deepthroat him, he could feel his fangs accidentally brushing against his knot; this… was so different.

The baker’s teeth alone locked the other’s sheath around his knot, feeling the pressure of his bite all over his body, and making him tremble in both anticipation and worry of becoming a eunuch. The younger grabbed Nick’s length by its base with his right hand, pulling and stretching it, making sure the fur covered skin didn’t abandon his lips and that the leaky tip stayed on the back of his tongue; meanwhile his left hand found its way to Nick’s now constricted ballsack, and to the baker, that was something else to pull on.

It was a constant risk for the ex-officer; if Gideon stretched his balls too much, his cock would move and the other’s teeth would dig deeper into his sheath or even maybe his knot. And if he let go of his base, his skin would naturally retract to its original position, with the protection it offered disappearing… and then it’d be fangs biting into the tenderest of meats.

Fuck.

Nick was liking it, though, but to be fair, at that point he’d have liked anything; he needed some release as well, and Gideon’s little game just made things easier. In fact, among the things that crossed his mind, there was one that sounded something like _‘yeah, daddy. I’ve been a bad boy, right? I’ve been naughty (…)’_ that no matter how horny he could get he wouldn’t exteriorize, but that somehow surfaced thanks to Gideon’s treatment. Maybe, and just maybe, he had a thing for being dominated by father figures.

In any case, it only took the baker adding some tongue movements to his routine to turn Nick’s quiet pants into a steady moan-y breathing that got higher in pitch as he approached climax. The older could feel it coming, as if his entire pelvic area were part of his genitalia; stiff, nailed in place but shaky all over… fuck, he loved it! He was about to cum, and since Gideon wanted to play, he wouldn’t say a thing; it took him biting the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from raising his voice.

But it was for naught. The younger could feel other indicators: the ruthless throbbing, especially at the base between his fingers, and the contraction of the balls in his other hand trying to retreat closer to his owner’s body right before any fluid could abandon it. And then-

He dropped everything. His mouth abandoned Nick’s length and his paws let go of both his sheath and his testicles. The older was cumming, and Gideon wasn’t even touching him anymore; he just wanted to see his face.

Probably you too know what Nick was going through at that exact moment, the feeling you get when your orgasm is ruined, like when you edge too much and end up losing control; he had reached the point of no return and up until then everything felt fantastic, but when Gideon’s contact was no more, his became an unwanted climax. The conditions had changed, he was exposed and helpless, and there isn’t greater humiliation for a creature able to feel shame than to be seen at its most vulnerable. With disbelief in his eyes and a resigned grunt Nick tried to fix it himself, but it was pointless; no amount of strokes could make an orgasm feel better on its last few gushes. It was lost and reduced to a pleasure-less ejaculation that did nothing but stain his t-shirt. Sad, miserable…

But it’s Nick and Gideon who we’re talking about here; the older just had to deal with a heavy stomach for a few seconds and the baker’s proud mug. There wasn’t much room to feel any kind of remorse.

“You’re an asshole.” Was all the ex-officer had to say. He wasn’t angry or out of humor, he plainly stated a fact.

“You started this.” Gideon was right, Nick punished him previously. But before the slimmer fox could retort, the other lied down next to him, booping his nose with a complacent expression and letting a finger dip in the mess his actions had created. “And you didn’t even kiss me first.”

That was a valid justification; Nick was too eager to cum, but he wasn’t anymore.

“I can fix that now.”

And he did, not without a humorous scoff preceding it and with less tongue than you’d imagine; to put it simply, both of them knew the other had teeth and they had learnt that they didn’t need to count them every time their lips touched. Nick was more into smooching and nuzzling the softest parts of his favorite fox, and Gideon liked playing with his ears and licking his cheeks or his usually cold snout better. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Compared to their previous ones, that was a weird afterglow; they felt like something was missing.

“I didn’t know you were into doing it in public places, Gid.”

“I don’t know if this counts, this is pretty much mine.”

“You could feel the air on your wiener, couldn’t you? I say it counts.”

“Okay then…” Maybe he did, but was he willing to admit it?

About the afterglow, I can’t quite put my finger on it…

“…Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“I did like it.” Apparently yes, and he barely doubted.

“See?”

“And you ripped my undies.”

Like - how could I say this? Perhaps…

“Sorry about that, I’ll get you new ones.”

“It’s okay, these came in a pack of seven.”

“If y-“

“And now they’re stuck in my crack.”

“I’m-“

Yeah, perhaps, what is wrong here is that.

“And I want you to take care of that.”

“…what?”

Perhaps they weren’t done.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Did Nick hear that correctly? Did Gideon, _his Gideon_ , the same that was too embarrassed to say ‘dick’ one week ago, say those words in that order?

“…with your underwear?”

“You broke ‘em, you take ‘em out, and you put something else in there.”

Holy fuck, he wasn’t joking! Gideon Grey wanted to be the bottom! Nick could agree to that if it was what he desired, but first he had to pass an intricate test to measure just how much the older had affected him.

“Gideon, can you say ‘cock’?”

The addressed mammal blinked in confusion but obliged without hesitation. “Cock”

Uh oh. “Shit. I think I broke you…”

“You haven’t – yet.” Yo, what the fuck? That wasn’t a cute, witty thing Gideon would say; that was a very Nick line. “The lube is in the bag with the drinks.” He had found the lube?

No, no, no, hold on, something was off. Nick ignored his implied request and just looked at him trying to comprehend what was going on; they say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but Gideon didn’t need to be more like Nick. They were different mammals with different stories, and he liked him being more confident, but that was… too out of character for him.

“Where is this coming from?”

However, Gideon wasn’t dumb. He wouldn’t copy Nick just because, and it was fair if he had doubts; Gideon outright refused to do it the first time the older asked him to do the same. But the baker had a good explanation; one he wouldn’t give without brushing his nose against the other’s first, getting as close as possible and whispering it in his ear. They were alone, yet still, it was a secret no one else should ever know of.

“You’ve gotten me used to some good things, and each day I’ve passed working I was missing you more and more. When I got home we had lunch and I rested from work, every afternoon I had to go back and get more things ready – you’re my lucky charm, I’ve been having new customers - and even if you came with me we couldn’t do much. Our nights were different; I’ve been falling asleep on the couch while you watched shows on your phone all week.” Everything he said was true, things in Zootopia were different for various reasons, among them the fact that it was technically a vacation for both of them, they didn’t have real responsibilities. “I’m just trying to make the most of this weekend. You told me you’re leaving next week, and I don’t know when I’ll see you again… I just want to – I don’t know – have something especial to remember while you’re away.”

Gideon didn’t sound ‘cool’ anymore; he wasn’t like Nick, and no matter how confident he was, he was still Gideon, still sensitive and kind-hearted.

It was decided, Nick would accept. He couldn’t say no if he asked him like that; fuck, he had missed his Gid too, and he had the exact same feelings.

“And I… I kept thinking about you pounding me while I was behind the counter.” That… sincerity kind of broke the moment they were having, but can you blame him? It gets boring in there, he had a boyfriend, and the last time they had sex they were still in Nick’s apartment. Almost a week had passed, which was way too much given the weird stage they were at; they could act as domestic as they wanted without completely losing the passion. And Gideon, who after all still had a somewhat childish mentality, refused to even touch himself; for some reason he wanted to store his desires as much as possible to let them all out with Nick. That picnic was the perfect chance to have that something especial he longed for.

“Okay.”

Nick couldn’t lie either, he couldn’t resist his Gid; he had seen him change and had acknowledged how much he had affected him in the short period of time they had spent together... god, he was living in a perpetual state of happiness that felt unreal, he couldn’t think of a better life. He hugged the younger, burying his thoughtful expression in the crevice of the thicker clavicle and neck.

“Can you give me a minute? I’m old and still recovering from before.”

Gideon immediately cuddled him back, an action he truly didn’t have to ponder on before performing. Nothing enchanted him more than that, the warm body of the only mammal to ever love him so unconditionally. There was something to Nick, that if he was with him, he felt at home. And it’s also true they hadn’t known each other for that long, but spending more time with someone doesn’t imply you know them better; they just clicked and everything happened naturally, the greatest deus ex machina bringing them together and allowing them to act following their emotions for once and see in each other what they wanted the most.

“Take all the time you need, I like this too.”

What can I say? Maybe the previous lack of luck in their lives gave room to the most perfect series of coincidences.

“You’re sticky.”

Oh, and if you’re wondering why Nick is leaving next week, it’s because of pretty simple reasons, the most important one probably being that the end of the month was approaching and he had bills to pay. Turns out _Delatore e Sciocco Union Credit_ didn’t have a branch office in the Burrows, go figure.

* * *

 

It didn’t take the foxes much to get back on track; some caresses and strokes, some help undressing, a trail of kisses down a soft belly, licks and nuzzles… and they were game again.

“Can you close a little?”

“Feeling shy now? Didn’t you say this is yours?”

“Yeah, but I’m the one nekkid. And maybe I’m cold.”

“I can see you sweating, Gid.”

“That’s your fault.”

Nick’s and his brain’s; Gideon might be horny, but he was nervous too. Say, wouldn't you be a little apprehensive too if you were about to get fucked for the first time in the trunk of a delivery van parked in the middle of a field under the bright mid-morning sun? To be honest, I don't know you; maybe you're a thrill-seeking adventurer and your genitals are your weapon, but Gideon wasn't.

"I should've brought the apron."

"Huh? What for?"

"You got me in my overalls, we could have killed two bugs with one stone."

He was eager and excited to feel Nick inside him, sure, the sensations he had when he did it were unforgettable; but the same doubts he had when he topped the older applied to him too. Thoughts like _'what if I start bleeding?'_ or _'what if he goes in too hard and I end up having to wear diapers?'_ were still there; it was remote, but a possibility nonetheless. Add that to being outdoors and the probability of having a - perhaps even interactive - audience, and you'll get a mildly anxious fox with a stimulated prostate and a closed ass.

"Oh, the list! Nah, I'm counting this too."

I'm sure you've heard that the brain is the greatest sexual organ, and while it might be true, it doesn't mean it's almighty; for some its use results in losing other capabilities.

"Okay Gid, now your legs go on my shoulders."

The same way one cannot breathe while he's drinking, Gideon couldn't keep control of his anus while being aroused and terrified by his own thoughts. The only plausible solution? External contact, and that's what Nick was prepared to do.

"You ready, Gid?"

"Yeah... yeah, go for it."

Nick wanted to start slowly, having an appetizer first, but Gideon didn't let him; he had been getting ready for whatever could happen, yet he didn't expect to sweat beforehand, so Nick's mouth wasn't allowed anywhere near his hole. In this case saying that he didn't mind, that nothing could be worse than eating from a vegetarian trash can, and that the only thing sweeter than himself were his pies served no purpose.

_"Come on, you were putty in my paws the last time I ate you out. Like good chocolate, it melts in your mout-"_

_"No means no, Nick; your tongue is not what I want in there."_

Kind of hypocritical if you ask me; he didn't even let Nick shower and he still had his fun. In fact, the baker didn’t let the older undress either. Why? Well, after his messy ejaculation, Nick was basically a bonbon with chocolate syrup on top; and even if it’s used in analogies about his anal region, the baker still liked chocolate.

Nick liked what was in front of him more, though; from his point of view, the most enchanting indoors skyline was calling his name. The buildings were still, his autumnal colors darkened by the light heat that made its way behind Nick’s back, graciously falling on his front and illuminating his visage; Gideon was serious, cautious and alert but didn’t seem preoccupied. His expectant face observed a captivated one, a mutual sense of need keeping them fastened in place, and Nick was the desire-chosen to cause an earthquake.

Fuck, Gideon was beautiful. Enough fancy thinking; it was time for action.

The baker was the leader, Nick the follower, and the younger let the other know what it was he wanted: no adornments, no slow burn… they’d have time for that later. Right there and then, all he lusted for was Nick’s hard cock.

“Gid, pass me the lube.”

He had to make his way through first; anal sex requires a little bit more than only trust, time and preparation can never be too ample.

A lube coated finger kissed the seemingly welcoming pinkish entrance, making the younger jolt when he felt the temperature of the slippery fluid. Its silky paw pad caressed the delicate skin, memorizing each and every pleat and furrow. Nick was enjoying the experience; he didn’t know he’d be doing something like that when he woke up, but he wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. However, when he tried to go further, his digit was stopped.

Surely Gideon was willing, but his mind and his body weren’t aligned.

The older resorted to his slightly broader experience, and his first guess was nervousness; okay, that was normal, not a huge problem.  He just had to help the other relax. His finger continued massaging the puckered hole while with his free hand he caressed one of the thighs close to his muzzle, trying to assure Gideon everything would be okay. Such action wasn’t of any help; the baker’s nerve endings unconnected to his pelvic area were dulled.

Next he attempted something more direct; perhaps stroking Gideon’s cock or cupping and caressing his ballsack would take his attention away from his behind.

No, that proved to be counterproductive; Nick's touch just made the younger's puckered hole throb, increasing the difficulty of even introducing a finger.

Fine, what’s a good way to get someone to calm down? Telling them to relax is out of the question, it’s redundant and useless, but telling them something else… yeah, that’s it: conversation. Casual, light conversation. Nick needed something subtle, between ‘good weather we’re having, huh?’ and ‘OPEN YOUR ASSHOLE NOW.’

For example…

"Gid?"

"Yeah?" His question, contrary to the older’s, was more abrupt and a little strained. Was he even enjoying that?

"You have a beautiful wiener."

Aaaand… that made the younger fox chuckle, probably out of tenseness.

"Thanks."

But Nick could feel the already taut hole tighten even more when he finished saying 'wiener.’ Shit, he was running out of ideas.

Okay, what about a massage? Those are relaxing; in his experience, they helped Gideon de-stress... to the point of falling asleep. Fuck it, he’d take that risk.

The closest massageable thing the slimmer vulpine found was the baker’s feet, and given their position, it was also the easiest to reach. Alright then, foot rub it was.

An explicably perplexed Gideon observed as his boyfriend’s paws abandoned his ass and began kneading his soles. He didn’t hate it, in fact he felt some slight tickling and comfort, but it wasn’t what he asked for; however, now he had something else to ask.

“Why?”

“It’s closed like my door to Jehovah witnesses.”

Of course, the plump mammal would insist, but no matter how bad he did want it or if he thought that would join them even more, Nick wouldn’t act upon such request if it meant hurting Gideon.

“You’re supposed to enjoy this, not suffer.”

And the younger couldn’t refute that. So the thought of the ex-officer fucking him would stay just as part of his imagination?

"Maybe you want it, but your body isn't ready; I'd offer myself, but what we ate yesterday is still inside me..."

“What if… I try to ride you?”

“You think forcing it in is gonna be better?”

At that point, Nick was getting more into the foot rub, and he had accepted that there’d be no penetration. Also, there was a strong sensation of déjà vu in that whole ordeal; that’s pretty much what happened the first time they had sex. And back then they said there were many other things they could do; that hadn’t changed.

Gideon had been thinking about it all morning - no, all week, and even though he tried to play a more aggressive role, he ended up betraying himself, going back to his softer self. He was horny, and Nick was sure he wanted it, but his high expectations eventually betrayed him; the older wouldn’t let him act irrationally just like Gideon didn’t in previous occasions. It also confirmed something about their relationship: independently of their personalities and behaviors, they had no definite roles in bed or in their everyday lives. They adapted and varied depending on what they needed and what they were capable of.

And from a pragmatic point of view, that’s perfect.

"Had you played with yourself before?"

The mood had died down a little, and since Nick was acting as the more mature one – one of the few times he did since he set foot on Bunny Burrows - he took the opportunity to do what they didn’t before: have some banter. Their arrival at the pond was followed by sex, and they had spent most of the week apart; he had missed his Gid too.

"You mean like, fingering?" Nick nodded. "Yeah, a little."

Gideon was a bit resigned, but what else could he do? Grab a funnel and shove it in his ass? Nick was right, it wasn’t going to happen. However, the thought of the older fucking him had blinded him from other pleasures, and now that he had been brought back to reality, he remembered them.

"And how deep did you go?"

For starters, the foot massage was delightful; he could feel hours and hours of work leaving his body through them.

"How deep?"

"Yeah, uh... god, this is awkward, it's the first time I say this out loud... did you put the entire finger in? More than one?"

Also, they were there to have a picnic! Gideon hadn’t cooked and ordered a quarter of Rita’s menu for naught.

"No... only one."

And last but not least, they had another experience to share; who wouldn’t want to see Gideon stoned? Nick did, and that had to be more special than any amount of anal sex. Let’s be honest here: in this day and age, with the facilities dating apps and such offer, it’s easier to befriend someone you get high with than someone you fuck.

"And you kinda... fucked yourself?"

"Uh... no. I just... rubbed. I never got past my pads."

Ah, there it was. Of course, Gideon was more of a virgin than Nick; he had gone further than that before the baker’s dick entered him.

“That explains it. I mean, I guess; I’m sure you know your body better. What if you try at your own pace and then we go again?”

“You mean now?”

Gideon’s eagerness was adorable, but it wasn’t that easy; the ex-officer had spent years _‘practicing’_ with just a finger before moving on to bigger things. At first he didn’t even like it, but in his naivety and after fully accepting his sexuality, he believed he had to. In the end it proved to be useful, he could fit most of Gideon inside of him… but one day he’d like to try the whole thing, knot and all.

“No, you have to be fully relaxed. Don’t feel forced to do anything you don’t want to do; maybe by yourself, in the shower or something…”

Wait, when had this turned into an ass stretching class? Damn, Nick used to think he’d get shot before sharing this type of experiences with anyone… but he had captivated Gideon, who gazed at him with attentive, serious eyes. If Nick weren’t still holding his legs, he’d have sat up, and if he had had a notepad, he’d have been writing that stuff down.

“…a finger can be too much at first. If just rubbing feels good, keep doing it, and if you want to try putting something in, well – maybe a pencil? Just make sure it’s not dented, it’s clean, and more importantly, that you have a good grip.”

Gideon just nodded to himself, trying to memorize everything his boyfriend just said; he had never dared to try objects – not on the inside, at least – but if it was Nick giving he references, the least he could do was give it a chance. That also proved that his sex education was lacking; no talk about uteruses and no porn video with two bears tag teaming an otter had prepared him for a situation like that.

Looking at the foxes you could almost say that they in fact were into roleplaying; Nick acting like a teacher now, Gideon unknowingly complying into making his rural fantasy true before…

The foot rub was over, and both vulpines were seated facing each other in the cushioned trunk, mostly nude but with no real sexual intentions between them even when their conversation revolved around it.

And what he learnt from it drove the older to ask one more question.

"And when you did me?”

"Huh?"

"When you were the top you acted like…  I don’t know – you knew what you were doing, but now you say you never actually tried anal."

"I kinda tried... but I guess I never went too far."

"And… I'm the exception?" Nick wasn't judging him, on the contrary, he praised him, but there was something off. If all he had ever done was some rubbing, how could he offer such a good performance?

"You said you wanted it..." Beginner’s luck? He was a natural top?

"And I did, and you were fantastic. I’m just curious, like the first time we did it you…" Wait. “…you weren’t…” Their exchange wasn’t fun anymore, something had changed, he didn’t care about Gideon’s sexual prowess. Now he had this feeling of-

Suddenly it hit him.

If he had learnt something about his Gid was that he was submissive, he tried to please those around him... or at least that’s how he used to be, since then the baker had gotten a more rebellious air – he had nothing against it, though. He liked the new hair, Gideon perpetually looked like he had just woken up from a nap, and hearing him curse was really appealing for some reason.

In any case, that dying submissiveness was obvious during their first week of cohabitation, especially before meeting Charles. Okay, he could pinpoint the moment he started changing; shit, the whole almost breaking up thing should have given it away… but before that…

"You did it for me?"

"I did what?"

...there was a chance he had fucked up big time and manipulated Gideon as well.

"I know the first time you- you didn't really want it? You were out of it at first, but I- fuck... I kept going, and then I insisted more..." At that point, Nick was immersed in a monologue. His eyes were fixated on the mammal in front of him, but he wasn’t looking at him

"Nick?" Gideon saw a reprise of what happened less than an hour ago. Given what he could overhear, the reason behind his actions was different, and if the baker was in the right, also completely idiotic. He wasn’t even worried that time; hell, for all he knew maybe Nick was just playing.

_'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!'_

That was... that wasn't ethical. He- he hadn't raped Gideon, had he? God, did he force him to do what **_he_** wanted?! Back in Zootopia, that day the baker was so playful... fuck, maybe he read the whole situation wrong, maybe Gideon never wanted that, and then just... he complied. No, no, no, no... had this been an abusive relationship since the beginning? He- all the things Nick said the day they met... fuck, it was all a mistake! What kind of shit was that?! Who the fuck tells someone he just met that he owed him his life?! He- he liked Gideon... and he had pressured him into liking him back... and that eventually turned into their current relationship. Fuck, he made Gideon pity him, and he took advantage of him. Fucking dumbass!

Meanwhile the baker, oblivious to what was going on in his favorite fox's mind, observed with childlike wonder the many expressions Nick's face showcased in such short amount of time. If his guess was correct, based on the data he had gathered, Nick either wanted to know about the time they really mated or he was coming up with a joke about it. That wouldn’t be too out of place; one day he tried to grate ice cubes for ten minutes for a very bad pun that ended in ‘the icing on the cake!’

That wasn’t the case, but since the ex-officer seemed to be stuck in his thoughts, the plump vulpine indulged him with the truth, also attempting to save himself the trouble of hearing more wordplay about his behind and maybe compensating the lack of attention it received with a pawjob or something.  You can’t be made fun of if you make fun of yourself, and you can make yourself cum even without a dick in your ass.

"Porn."                                                                                                                                

The monosyllabic caught the older's attention, whose immobile, lowered head snapped at the baker with the same fretfulness someone feels when they’re caught doing something they knew they shouldn’t.

"I told you I, well... learnt a couple of things from it. In all honesty, I just copied what I’d seen, and since you didn't complain I kept going. That and that I read the G spot is somewhere in there… I guess mine is hiding."

Nick barely heard anything of what Gideon said; his thoughts were too noisy and if they stayed in his brain for one more second his head would explode.

"Gideon... did I rape you?"

"...what?" That… didn’t sound like a joke.

Nick then asked a flurry of questions and voiced his many fears and doubts, impressing Gideon not only because of how insane they sounded, but also because he seemed even more insecure than the baker. He was terrified, more than he could ever remember being; the thought of Gideon's wrath was nothing compared to what he felt in his gut just reminiscing about their relationship under this new light. However, with each word Nick pronounced, Gideon kept getting angrier and angrier; maybe because he saw himself in Nick again, or perhaps because the mere thought the ex-officer doing something like that was enough to send him into rage.

"(...) and you- you never stopped me! And I thought that you wanted to be with-."

Yeah, Gideon wasn't going to sit through that: words didn't seem to work, and at the time, only one thing could stop him. Perhaps there were other alternatives, but there was something that angered the baker more than anything else; how gullible Nick thought he was. Didn’t he know already he could make his own choices?

Gideon rapidly stood up and took a deep breath, quieting the urge to punch one of the walls of his truck and exiting it with a swift hop. Never mind his absolute nudity or the fact that there still were traces of lube on his buttocks; they were alone, right? Who cared?

Now, who knows what's the best way to make someone shut up?

“(…) I understand if you wanna leave, but- (…)”

The baker grabbed one of the slender fox’s legs, pulling it towards him with all his force and dragging the mammal attached to it behind. He lifted the momentarily silent vulpine without missing a beat, extracting him from the vehicle as well, and began walking towards the pond.

A bewildered but non-aggressive Nick questioned his intentions as he insisted on trying to keep the original topic going; he didn’t seem that fazed by being carried more than he was by being ignored. Touching the younger’s face didn’t move his eyes from his objective, and the older’s panic didn’t give signs of defeat.

Both wanted to make their points clear.

"Gideon, listen to me; you have to-"

"Hold your breath."

The next instant all Nick could feel was cold; Gideon had thrown him in the pond. That son of a bitch wasn't joking... but you have to give credit where credit is due; it worked. The only thing Nick managed to pronounce when he resurfaced was a loud curse, and before he could ask Gideon what that was for, the plump fox was already speaking.

"Listen to me, you fucking idiot." He squatted next to the body of water, staring intently at the mammal that halted his exit from it when he heard the tone of his voice; it was the same he used the day Gideon discovered some mammals already suspected of Nick’s presence. "You've never done anything like that." He was being reprimanded because he had done something incredibly wrong, but that something wasn’t abusing Gideon. "If I didn't want to be with you I wouldn't be, but there's nothing I want more." He didn’t even know what he made the baker feel just by even insinuating he was something akin to a hostage. “You really think I’m that dumb? Why are you here then? If I were so easy to convince I’d still be in your apartment.” Gideon was forced to make many decisions he didn’t want to or that he regretted throughout his life, but being with and doing everything he had done with Nick weren’t among them. "You are my world, you’ve treated me like no one has before, and you've never done anything to hurt me. What, you came with me to this fucking hellhole because you wanted to use me more? The moment you saw where I live you were getting me new things; oh, poor me, you’re just keeping me happy so you can rape me."

Gideon stood up, taking his eyes away from Nick for just an instant “I can’t believe you could even think something so twisted” before taking a step forward and letting his weight fall in the pond, reaching the bottom feet first, splashing the already wet fox and standing right in front of him. The water was cold, but none of them could feel that anymore; they were too heated to do so. What Nick saw in that face wasn’t fury; no, it was… sadness. A strange sympathetic sorrow that came from the deepest end of Gideon’s heart; even if he had never gone through the exact same, such emotion was ingrained in his brain. The type of remorse that makes one doubt of his own self, the guilt that can lead to the worst of ends.

Gideon had felt it before, and he hated that Nick had known it too. "I love you more than anything and anyone, I know I do, I know what I feel even if I don’t show it sometimes, and I know you do too. You didn’t con me into being with you; I know you love me too. I know how much you care about me, I know what I mean to you... for god’s sake, you were going crazy thinking you had done me wrong." The baker advanced more, his muzzle inches away from the other’s. “You just took the virginity of a lonely dumbass, and that dumbass wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.” The younger showed the most minuscule of smiles, the corners of his mouth rising ever so slightly, just enough for Nick to see it and imitate it. Nothing had ever alleviated him more than knowing their relationship wasn’t something he forced; being wrong never felt so good, and his insecurities brought to light what Gideon thought of him. He was right, his absolute priority was the younger vulpine and he never intended on making him suffer – save for what happened in the train, though that was more of a good willed, poorly executed surprise.

“We’re just a couple of fuckups, Nick. We said we wouldn’t do this anymore.”

For the first time since Gideon began lecturing him, the addressed mammal dared to respond.

“I’m-“

However, the other fox wasn’t done.

He pulled the thinner into a tight hug, repressing a convulsive sob that shook both their bodies; none of what he had heard from Nick was easy to swallow, how he could think of himself like that… why couldn’t they have something more cheerful in common? It was always the sad stuff… but at least they had each other to push in the right direction when their steps started deviating.

Nick reciprocated Gideon’s embrace, the cold water not being an impediment for them to let the other know they were there; maybe they were half crazy fuckups with sad backstories, sure, but they loved each other.

Still, there was once more thing Gideon wanted to make clear.

"If you ever say something like that- like that again-" The assertiveness in his voice faltered before he fell silent; god, acting strong was really hard… “Please… please, Nick…” His statement had become a susurration its intended listener heard loud and clear, not only for the words that were pronounced, but also for the broken tone that pushed them into his ears. “…please, don’t do that ever again.”

Nick wouldn’t. Gideon didn’t have to insist, he wouldn’t; he didn’t want to go through that ever again either. He didn’t want him to go through that ever again.

"I promise."

Man, so much for a relaxing day.

* * *

 

After leaving the miniature sized lake, the foxes dried in silence, alternating between shaking the water off like dogs and using one of the towels part of their makeshift bed. They had a silent agreement to not mention their ‘incident;’ both said what they wanted to say, they coincided on the status of their relationship, and talking about it any further would be a waste of time. And once they were done? Nick refused to abandon Gideon’s side like a rescued puppy wouldn’t leave its savior’s lap, but following their cold and tension-filled experience, the baker had the better idea. It was the both of them who needed to relax, and part of their picnic consisted exactly of that; with a little help, that is.

“Gid?” The older observed curious as the pudgier left his field of vision for a moment, still completely nude but indifferent about it, picked the stained, soaking wet t-shirt the slimmer had thrown on the grass after their swim and extended it on the hood of his truck, and finally reached into the front of his vehicle. An instant later he was back with the small plastic bag Nick had placed in his glove box, sat next to him without uttering a word, and shook it lightly raising his eyebrows at the ex-officer.

“This?”

He got the idea.

“Yeah.”

That was something Gideon too was excited about. Nick came up with that, and curiosity is what pushes the world forward; besides, didn’t the theme song say to try everything?

“You wanna do the honors?”  Nick asked as he wrapped himself in the towel he used previously and the other shook his head no.

“You know what they say; who smelt it…” It was fair.

“It’s gonna smell alright.” He slid one of his paws through his improvised hoodie and picked the bag handed to him, rummaging through its contents looking for the lighter and picking a joint at random. “About that, you might wanna put your clothes away.”

“I wasn’t planning on getting dressed.” Who’d have guessed Gideon would be into naturalism? He once said he didn’t like getting naked around strangers, but there were no strangers there, and if they were… well, he had reached his daily quota of giving fucks. At that point, if someone tried to interrupt them, he had a wrench under the driver’s seat.

“Nudity apart, you still depend on the Hopps for laundry, right?” He did, he didn’t have room in his apartment for a washing machine, but…

“No, that’s over. I’m gonna buy a washer and put it in the garage. I’ll even clean our stuff in the shower if I have to.” He didn’t care. His reliance on the rodent family had weakened and them thinking worse of him wasn’t one of his worries; man, fuck them.

"Alright then, I’m lighting it.” His prelude wasn’t at all impressive, and Gideon didn’t seem too in suspense either; he just put the stick between his lips, struck the light, and took a drag. Nick and the internet forums were right, that thing smelled strong; the baker didn’t hate it, though, it had a hint of… armpit? but it wasn’t that awful.

After a coughing fit followed by a _“I hadn’t done this in years, god, it burns_ ,” a couple more puffs and a little more coughing, it was Gideon’s turn.

“You ready, Gid?”

“I guess.” He wasn’t too worried, what was the worst that could happen anyway? He already was wet and naked in the middle of a field, had reserves of food and drinks, and he’d welcome it if it with open arms if it made him think less. Unlike Nick, he held the joint with his thumb and index, making him look like one of those old fashioned cowboys from any given spaghetti western; he didn’t have a revolver, but his damp, unruly hair helped the outlaw-that-had-just-washed-his-boots-in-the-river appearance.

To the older’s surprise, he wasn’t having a bad time. He was smoking with ease, clearing his throat after the smoke reached it, but he didn’t cough once. Fuck, he was even exhaling through his nose; what, he just happened to be a natural in things he had never tried?

“Kinda tastes like – what’s that thing for tummy aches…? – pennyroyal mint.” That wasn’t the response Nick expected.

“You… had done this before?” The following drags the baker took made it look like he had, if his attempts at making rings with the fumes were any indication.

“Not weed, but I’ve smoked before.”

“Really? You? You used to be a smoker?”

“More or less; it’s what the cool kids did when I was around ten or eleven, and I wanted to join.”

“I never imagined you following that kind of trends.”

“It didn’t last long, I got caught stealing cigarettes and was forced to quit.” That was quite the anecdote; young Gideon was more like young Nick than the latter thought.

“Well, at least I don’t have to teach you how to smoke.” It was the older’s turn again, and that’s how they’d do it apparently, passing joints like broke college students.

“And you? This was your idea.” It indeed was, and Nick’s story with smokable goods was as deep as you’d expect.

“Pretty much everyone I used to hang out with was into one thing or another; I only tried weed because I heard it can help you go to sleep and the naturalist club was okay with everything as long as it were natural.” When you don’t have a house, taking naps naked in a corner surrounded by stoners almost sounds like a treat.

They kept burning the stick, with Nick eventually insisting Gideon to finish it when more than half of it was gone. Both the ashes and the butt ended on the grass, and by the time he was done, the younger could feel as if there were balls of cotton in his skull. So far so good.

His body felt a little heavier, yet the shelter in the back of his truck welcomed him happily; he stacked a couple of cushions and slouched on them, inviting Nick to join him as soon as he extended his legs. His offer could be read any way you wanted since all his face showed at the moment was a groggy, complacent expression, half-closed eyes, tiny simper and everything. The older accepted, but not exactly the way the baker imagined; he sat adopting a cross-legged position inches away from the plump mammal, placing his paws on the fleshier knees and lightly tapping on them. Gideon was okay with that; he was okay with everything.

“So Nick, tell me, why’re you so- so jumpy?” And why was his mouth so dry? He hadn’t been eating sandpaper, had he? What did he have for breakfast? “Is it the Burrows? You like the air in Zootopia better?” Did he sound stupid? He felt kind of stupid.

“No… I like it here.” Nick didn’t look like he did; the moment he heard that question he lowered his ears and his face took a melancholic tint.

“It’s the first time you come out.”

“I know.”

“Then? Lay it on me, I can take it.” The ex-officer could see the cannabis had sorted effect on the other, who extended his paws and wiggled his fingers in the silliest of manners, but on himself not so much. At least he didn’t feel like it had.

“I, I don’t know – I feel like I’m bothering you.” The baker’s altered state paused for a moment when the reply hit him.

“You’re not.”

“You’ve been away all week, working your ass off, dealing with rabbits and all that shit; and meanwhile I was in your house, doing nothing, eating your food…”

“…are you joking?” If he were he didn’t see the humor in it.

“No.” Yo where the fuck did that come from? Like, that’s dumb.

“You, who after knowing me for three days spent what I make in a month on - shit, half of my closet now, is scared of being a mooch?”

“Yeah… look, I’m unemployed and-“ Dude, no. Stop, stop that.

“I’on care. You’ve spent all your life working, you were homeless, Nick – Nick, how old are you?”

“Thirty three.”

“That’s a lot of years working.”

“Yeah, but I-“

“Now you’re rich, baby, you made it! And I hope you never have to work again, it’s hard and boring. So boring one day I counted the hairs on my arm. There are a lot.” Gideon’s words fluctuated constantly in emotion, pronunciation and inflexion. All his neurons, the high ones and the sober ones, were invested in what was happening, but they fought about how to express it. His body on the other hand was stuck to the cushions; he was a genius for bringing them and he deserved an award.

The older, less affected by the THC, doubted that was the best moment to have such conversation.

“Gideon, I don’t wanna ruin what you have.”

The pie fox on the opposite paw couldn’t think of any better circumstances.

“How would you even do that?”

“I don’t know… you-, I just don’t wanna drag you down.”

The younger took a deep breath to make his response clear. “Fuuuuuuck that. Remember what you told me about putting myself first? Do that.”

“Gid-“ No, that wasn’t happening again. The baker had ascended and only he knew the truth.

“We gotta quit this _‘I’m not good enough for you’_ bullshit. Fuck, look at me! Before you I’d soil my pants thinking about smoking weed, or about counter…- cunt…- contradicting the fucking Hopps. You shoved your hands in there and pulled this fat, slimy baby out of the womb; you did like the Jaguaddin guy and showed me the world. And you don’t know how thankful I am, you insecure god.” The way he put it was confusing, but Gideon was right; he had many things to thank him and vice versa, we knew that. He wouldn’t think less of his boyfriend for doing whatever he wanted to do. He had already done that to himself and later learnt that it was a big mistake, it was a stupid thing to worry about. If someone loves you for you, you don’t have to walk great distances to keep things that way or to prove it; are you so used to boycotting yourself that when someone ever so slightly shows they love you you try to change because you think you’re not good enough to be loved? Please, please don’t do that.

“You can do **_whatever_** you want. If you wanna do something for me, just… tell some jokes, and hug me, and kiss me… just – talk to me.” All he wanted for Nick was to enjoy himself and let Gideon take part in that enjoyment; he’d be there in the less joyful moments too, and those came, but he didn’t ask for them.

And Nick… he had been acting like Gideon did in Zootopia. Maybe he did because of their location, maybe because he saw his pie fox acting like he really was and thought ‘hey, maybe I should be like that? He’s better than me, he loves what he does, he’s responsible, he doesn’t make me take care of his problems…’ Abundant were the precedents, but Gideon didn’t want that, he didn’t care about any of that. He wanted him to be himself too.

“I can do that.”

The older was moved by Gideon’s honesty and humbleness, so much he had to struggle to repress the wetness that threatened with escaping his eyes, even though the other had noticed. Being high, if anything, only boosted his emotions, but didn’t change them; he just wanted to be with his Nick. And he was right, no more feeling inferior shit, no more sad shit; they were equals, right? Then that’s how they had to act.

Nick crawled between the baker’s legs, advancing and finding a nest of heat in the younger’s plump body. Right then and there, his insecurities were gone and all he wished for were those strong arms and gentle paws wrapping him; he didn’t have to do much for it to become a reality. He kissed him, and Gideon kissed him back; he nuzzled him, and Gideon nuzzled him back. All they wanted was to be together, and they were.

“I love you, Nick. I love you so much… god… I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Gideon. I love you so much, I don’t ever want you to let me go.”

Words that only they could hear.

“I won’t, but I think we should do something else first.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t wanna break this moment, and I think I’m kinda high, but the first thing we’ve done is more emotional talking…” A shade of doubtfulness appropriated Gideon’s face for an instant, but alas, it was but the prelude to a huge grin! The kind of smile you could see Seth Rogen sporting any given day of the week if you were a close friend of his plus the added value of the fox’s attractive and adorability. With squinted eyes and his paws on Nick’s cheeks he asked “you wanna light another one?”

How could the older react to such request? Would he accept the inhalation of more drugs? A new feeling appeared in the pit of his stomach, one he wasn’t used to, one he didn’t remember feeling in at least a week or so. That feeling… doesn’t have a name but it’s super satisfactory like when you and someone else think of the same thing and it’s really cool because both of you want to do it, like, _‘hey, we’re in the same wavelength!’_

“Actually, I wanted to ask the same.”

“We’re perfect for each other… and maybe dangerous junkies.”

“We just need more fun moments together.”

And they did light another one; this one they smoked inside, ignoring the stench that’d adhere to their clothes and everything else. They didn’t care; it wasn’t even a fire hazard since the only places where any spark could fall on were either covered in wet towels and fur, or outright nonflammable, like the fresh grass beneath them.

“How’re you feeling, Gid?” This one was shared more equally, passing it every three or four puffs until whoever was holding it finished it, but also quicker because Gideon bragged about his smoking expertise and Nick was up for the challenge. In essence it was a game of traffic lights minus the having to one up their previous number of hits part.

“I think I can see better…” That he did; the field looked extra to him. Extra what? I don’t know. Like, not bigger, but like it had a bigger spatial presence. As if its power of impacting had grown, like, it felt so defined. The baker turned his head and saw his boyfriend. “Niiiiiiiick… you’re beautiful.”

“Noooo, youuuuu are beautiful. And your eyes are red.” For some reason they extended their words too much and sounded like they were out of breath. Everything was good and extraordinary, especially for Gideon, whose entire body was being walked on by tiny, invisible ants that tickled his everything with their pace.

“Yeah, it’s what happens when you have super vision, you use your eyes to their full extent and- and they go to waste faster. It’s like making an omelet, and then unmaking it and putting the eggs back in the fridge.” His hearing was affected as well; sometimes he heard things that weren’t there, sometimes he couldn’t even hear himself, sometimes his auditory chambers turned into satellite dishes that could perceive forbidden broadcasts from places unknown. But as long as they could understand each other, it’d be okay.

“I didn’t know that.” Nick was high too, yet a little bit less than the pie fox. That only meant his auditory capabilities remained the same; still, he’d play along. What both did need was drinkable water, which Gideon had provided along with a category of dishes they weren’t too far from tasting; they were very much cottonmouthed, almost literally. Their mouths went dry and their tongues kept getting stuck to their roofs. “But you wear glasses… I’m not so sure about your powers.”

“Because I’ve been using my-“ Gideon interrupted himself in a moment of lucidity. “Hey, I don’t actually have powers. I’m high as fuck, but I like playing with you, I know what I’m doing, okay? Everything is weird and moves like a 3D net but I’m here, I’m Gideon, I can walk, and I love you, okay?”

“Okay. But you must know… I love you too.” That was neat. Nick had never hanged out with a somewhat lucid stoned guy, the others he had been with just sat somewhere and mumbled to themselves. Honestly, at first he thought his Gid would be more of the paranoid type, but this was way better and funnier too. Nick for example was tamer, the times he had gotten high weren’t exactly for recreational purposes, yet with Gideon things surely would be different.

“Wait! Gideon! You must tell me! Why do you wear glasses?!”

“I have! Astismag…- astastas…- astigmataganadism…-“ He wasn’t going to pronounce that. “I need them to read sometimes!”

“What else have you been hiding from me?! Do you like to wear bowties?!” Bear in mind that their intense exchange was taking place in the trunk, lying next to each other almost completely still.

“Wait, Nick, shhh…” Gideon picked up something Nick didn’t. A low rumble, and its origin wasn’t far from them. No… it was… “…I have the hunger.”

“Glad you said it because I’m too shy to ask. I saw something brown in one of the bags, and I don’t know what it is, but I want it.”

“Those are the… uh… fried things. Deep fried… cauliflower? It’s great, crunchy and tasty.”

“You made it?”

“No, that’s Rita’s. I made the potato and tuna patties, the Tupperware with stir fried things, and the cream puffs.”

“And you make all that in just an oven?”

“In two, the big one and the microwave.” That solved that mystery.

“Can we eat now?”

“Su-“

“I wanna play with your tail later.”

And so they did their best to sit up and dig in without making a mess and/or dying. It was tricky, really; to Nick everything was so delicious he occasionally forgot to chew, and not remembering you were eating before talking lead to spitting whole pieces of mushrooms in your boyfriend’s face, which gave rise to lengthy and uncontrollable bursts of laughter, complicating the tasks of eating and breathing, taking them back to the almost dying step. It took them some time taking control of their usually voluntary bodily functions without getting harmed, which made their meal longer that it normally would be, but in the end everyone survived and that’s what counts.

Now, the most important question; was it an actual meal or they just had the munchies? Eh, half and half; it was midday.

 

* * *

 

“Gideon, tell me things I don’t know about you.” Nick said he wanted to play with the other’s tail, and so he did. They both did. Their position was close to… have you ever watched girls scissor? Not lying down, but more like when they’re kinda like squatting facing each other? Yeah, more or less like that. They sat across each other, leaving enough space between them to bring forth their posterior limbs from under their butts, and fiddled with them as if together formed the fluffiest pillow in existence.

“Things you don’t know about me…”

“Yeah, like the glasses thing.” Lunch had calmed their initial tomfoolery and turned it into softcore, more tolerable silliness. There were occasional giggles, slow reflexes, altered senses and random spasms still in play, yet having a conversation wasn’t as hard. Everything was more entertaining than usual, but that couldn’t be the weed alone; their presence had something to do too.

"I shave sometimes. Well, not shave, shave, I like having fur. Like, do you really wanna see my skin under this? Because lemme tell you, I had some ugly acne as a teen. Anyway, I gotta cut some hairs growing on my chin or I look... bad. No goatee for Gideon." That was some succulent information.

"I see… remind me to remember thinking about you with a beard, and looking at your face more."

"No, please."

“And you?”

"Me…” Was there something Gideon didn’t know about him? Well, he had some anecdotes. “I kinda have a tattoo." That really got the baker’s attention, whose drowsy eyes abandoned the merged tails and focused on the whole fox in front of him

"What?! No. Where?" If that was true, how come he hadn’t seen it?

"It's nothing, just a couple of lines under my left armpit.” Nick abandoned his tail playing as well and raised his left arm, using his other paw to separate the fur that covered the upper left corner of his chest. “I ran away when I realized I was joining a gang." Shit, it was true; two slim, black strokes were discernible to the unbelieving younger.

"...does any of your stories involve something... not dangerous or sad?" So far most of them didn’t. It took Nick doing some reminiscing before coming up with an appropriate answer.

"Yeah. I met this lady once; she was blind, her wallet fell, and I gave it back."

"See? That's mi-"

"But first I took everything inside. Her credit card was turned into a bunch of gift cards."

"See? That's not-"

"The kids in the orphanage had a good Christmas."

"Awww, what-"

"That's why I got a Santa costume and broke in. The heating in there was great."

"Whoa.”

“It wasn’t dangerous or sad; I slept under a roof, and I was stronger than most of the kids there.”

“…”

“…” To be fair, he was right. Sure, maybe punching your way through a bunch of cubs isn’t the most ethical thing to do, but still, the ending wasn’t sad.

"Aren't you gonna say anyt-"

"Did any of that ever happen?" Gideon was skeptical; I mean, he said he had super vision but we later found out that was a lie. Who’s to say Nick wouldn’t do the same?

The older shrugged, "I don't even know,” forgetting what he was doing before and kneeling in front of Gideon like a puppy asking for a treat. He wanted to play more, who knows with what.

The baker could guess. He leaned forward, hitting his nose against Nick’s and grabbing his shoulders for both balance and really desired contact. "Are you gonna be my Santa this year?" He almost sounded flirtatious… almost.

"I don't know, you're pretty naughty." The slimmer fox did it better; he at least put some effort behind his reply. Although generally, Nick’s voice had a more seductive tone to it; maybe it wasn’t even voluntary, but it was there, part of the whole pack. He personally liked Gideon’s better and vice versa; they, I don’t know, liked things.

"You're right...” The pudgy vulpine blinked and his expression suddenly changed to a more serious one, as if he had realized something. “I am."

Nick believed he was playing along and went in for the nuzzle. "But I can-" However, when he tried to advance further, he was stopped in his tracks.

"No, no, no; I know what I did, you know what I did... I don't deserve a bike." That… was some weird dirty talk.

"A bike like... a motorbike or...?"

"I saw one with three wheels and spiky tires." Alright, that had to be the first time they spent that much time naked and awake without having sex. It wasn’t exactly a bad thing; the will was there, kind of, yet nothing else seemed to want to get to work. Shit, can weed cause erectile dysfunction?

"I don't think that'd go well with your aesthetic... although, if you make it pink..."

"I also want a violin." Fuck it, it was Santa’s list time. If you can’t beat them, sit on their lap and keep from falling by hugging them. Touching Gideon while high felt great; it felt new, softer, squishier… so protected and safe he could fall asleep right there.

"That's nice, but I don't know if I wanna be around while you learn."

"And a recording studio."

"Why?"

"To record."

"Record music?"

"Yes."

"From your violin?"

"No."

"Are you going to sing yourself?"

"No."

"Then?" Gideon went completely silent, and Nick could feel his hot breath on his closed eyes. The younger was looking at him, and the least he could do out of respect was reciprocating the gaze. As soon as he lifted his head and their pupils met, the apparently distressed baker replied.

"...you think I could be a rapper?" Excuse me?

"...is that a trick question? You told me you don't like rap."

"I know, but… would you like it if I told you to shake yo ass, called you a bitch and sucked your toes?" And that, fellow readers, is Gideon on weed. Now those anti-drugs videos from the eighties don’t seem that dumb, do they?

"No."

"Thought so." Their stare never broke, and Nick had mixed feelings and a few questions. He felt way sober than the other…

"You like feet?"

"A little. You?" The best part is that Gideon wasn’t even shy about it. He couldn’t feel shyness, only a fox latched onto him and some coldness under his butt. Maybe they should have left the towels they used to dry themselves out on the sun.

"I like yours... not like, I'm in love with them, but they're big."

"You... wanna suck my toes?" Okay, pause.

“Giiiid,” Nick cooed letting go of the bigger mammal and sitting at a prudent distance. “Wanna light another one?”

“Okie dokie, I think I’m getting used to the drugs.”

“No you’re not.”

Hearing Gideon say that didn’t feel right to the older; the last thing he wanted was another addict fox… god, he wasn’t actually going to ruin him, right? After picking the lighter and another joint, he turned to the younger with a serious face.

“Remember, this is a one-time thing. It might be fun, but-“

“Calm down, didn’t I tell you I know what I’m doing? I know I’ve been saying some dumb shit, and the toes thing was a joke. I kinda like this feeling, but I couldn’t live like this.” Gideon wasn’t an idiot, and Nick knew it; he had had some bad experiences and didn’t want to relive them. One thing he was sure of was Gideon’s word; if he was conscious of what he was doing, then there was no problem. “There’s no hangover from this, right?”

“You might feel stupid for a day or two, but no headaches.” As long as it stayed as safe fun, they could keep going. “Wanna light this one?”

“Sure, but please give me a water bottle.”

That one joint was fatter than the previous too; it made both foxes cough, made them drink, and by the time they were done with it, moving was a hard task. They found the coziest corner they could in the trunk and lied there next to each other, facing the metallic ceiling and focusing mostly on breathing.

“How’re you feeling?” This time it was Gideon asking. He tried his best to make his voice not sound slurred, and before him were his paws, which he clenched and unclenched testing his psychomotricity. So far so good, he could still use them.

“Can you feel your body?” Nick sounded just like Gideon did, though his respiration was more audible.

“Barely. I feel like I’m floating and really heavy at the same time, as if I were in a dream.” His limbs didn’t look any different, but to him they were both like jelly and in constant tension.

“Yeah, that sounds like me… I think the guy who gave you this gave you a little bit of everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you feel dumber?”

“Not more than before, but talking like this still isn’t easy.” Nick had some suspicions when he rolled the joints, but since he wasn’t an expert he couldn’t be sure.

“Did you know there are different types of weed?”

“I didn’t even know what weed looked like until the other day.”

“Well, some strains are stronger than others, have different purposes; for pain, for stress, anxiety…”

“Uh-huh.”

“I think that last one was like a muscle relaxant.” His guess tallied; he didn’t know that much about what he was talking, but if being able to hear each other’s heartbeats was any indication, that thing had to be potent.

“And that’s bad?”

“I’m a little paranoid; I can feel my pulse in my eyes, I’m sleepy but I don’t wanna sleep, and I’m scared I’ll die if I shut up.”

“If you die I’m dying with you.”

“Can we keep talking?”

“Always.” They were basically trapped in their own bodies, it wasn’t like they had many choices. They could try and move, but one was too scared to do so, and the one that had done it didn’t trust himself. Gideon could move his paws, but he didn’t felt the movement; all he could do was believe what his eyes showed him, and that wasn’t fun. They still had that lightheaded sensation, but at the time fear was too great to succumb to what cannabis was doing to their brains. Conversation it was, then.

“Nick, do you also have this sensation of… feeling important?”

“Important?”

“Yeah. I think it’s because I’m trying so hard to not sound stupid; it’s still stupid but- I don’t know, I feel like I’m doing something just by being awake.”

“You are doing something.” At the very least he was talking to him, and Nick couldn’t imagine anything more important at the time.

“You know what I like from this?”

“This pillow? My neck thanks it a lot.”

“No, I- is my head on the pillow too? I can’t feel a thing.”

“I don’t know, I can’t move my head.” God, that was terrifying, being paralyzed, not even being able to tell where you were… and to add insult to injury, they were still exposed, nude in the open trunk of a known delivery truck. The fear of someone discovering them appeared, which wasn’t at all helpful to their paranoid thoughts; every little sound put them on edge, but it was for naught, they couldn’t react. Their best alternative was drowning those thoughts. “You were saying you like something.”

“Yes. That I’m with you.”

“That’s cute, but would you have done this if I wasn’t here?”

“No, I’d be alone in my apartment thinking about you.”

“Then-“

“I prefer this. We’re not gonna die, Nick.” They didn’t know if they were in any real danger, but as it was pointed out earlier in this same piece of literature, uncertainty can be more dreadful than any tangible problem.

“Gid, do you know what I wanna do with you? Reach that moment when we, uh..." The problem wasn’t only their physical state, but their mental one as well. A special power of will is needed to push through when most of your faculties are dulled, when not only your body abandons you but your mind tries to too, or else that uncertainty becomes the real problem. "...we look back and laugh thinking about something that happened."

"Something like this right now?" What they were going through seemed like a valid option. Still, Nick had the need to keep going; fuck, he was petrified both literal and figuratively, but as long as his mouth worked he wouldn’t stop.

"Yeah, but we gotta laugh so hard you pee a little a-and go 'oh, should I change?' but I'm bothering you in the kitchen and we're about to go bowling, activity which I mildly enjoy, and won't let you leave until you finish packing our lunch; I don’t know what it’ll be but I don’t like quinoa. What I won't notice is the warm wetness in your sheath, that as the day progresses will mix itself with sweat and other penile and genital emanations, maybe spit too, resulting in a very ugly infection due to the many bacteria that'll use your always moist wiener as a home. We'll decide to ignore it because no doctor shall ever manhandle your sausage, and you inevitably will pass it on to me, ending with both of us having our dongs cut off." It was idiotic, but it was drugged fear speaking.

"Okay, one question; what adult packs his own lunch to a bowling alley?"

Somehow, Gideon was able to keep up with that load of... thoughts. It was commendable at the bare minimum, and it proved he wasn’t as scared as the other, something Nick couldn’t thank enough.

"A neurotic one.”

That conversation had come to an end, but they couldn’t stay quiet. They didn’t want to, they didn’t dare.

“Gid, I looked up the chocolate fountain I told you about.”

“That thing on your list?”

“Yeah, the only problem is that they don’t deliver it here.”

“Bummer… we have ice cream cones in the freezer, if that helps any.”

“You buy ice cream in winter?”

“It’s cheaper, and no one can tell me when to eat it.”

“Heh, damn right.”

That one was too short, they needed more, more…

“Do you lean more right or left?”

“You really wanna talk politics now? Besides, I think I already told you.”

“You’re super racist?”

“I don’t care who’s in power or what they think, I’m just a mammal, I’m not gonna change anything and I’m okay as long as there’s a roof over my head and food on my table.”

Fuck, that wasn’t enough. They agreed on that for the most part, and it came down to two things; everyone imagines their ideal world that’ll never exist, and anyone can use any cause as an excuse to push their own beliefs and interests forward. No, they couldn’t expand on that, but what else could they talk about? Were they running out of things to say? No, no that couldn’t be. There had to be something, something… come on Nick, think! Imagine-

“Nick, tell me if you can feel this.”

Before the addressed fox could react in any way, he discovered what the other was referring to.

“Is that your paw?”

“You can feel it. Can you move? At least squeeze it?” He could try. He tried and he did, surprising himself. He could use his body again.

At some point the younger was able to turn his head, and he could see the older’s strained face. Aside from that, nothing seemed too out of place; if he could use his facial muscles, he could probably use the rest as well.

“Can you look at me?” Once again the addressed fox tried, and he could. He did. He was looking at Gideon for the first time in… whatever amount of time they had spent in there.

“Gideon… you’re okay.”

“And so are you.” The dramatic veil that covered them fell the moment the baker sat up. “At least I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really paralyzed? I know you were scared of moving, but my heart rate’s been calming down since then. I feel funny, thinking is hard, but overall I’m okay. Maybe we were so high we convinced ourselves we couldn’t move.”

“That… can happen?” As far as Nick knew, he was really paralyzed; what he ignored, for example, is that he had lifted his head when the younger’s abandoned the pillow.

“I read about it yesterday. It’s… uh…” How could he explain something like that with such a cloudy mind? “You know when before I told you I was okay and I knew what I was doing?”

Nick did, and he thought he had been doing the same.

“To me this was more like a game, I- I could feel the effects, and I was playing along; at first I believed I couldn’t move either, but after a while I kinda snapped out of it.”

“And all this time…?”

“I like talking to you, and now we have something to talk about and laugh when we’re older.”

That cute son of a bitch… he had been in control from the beginning. Had he been following Nick’s lead to please him? Was he having fun? He realized Nick had nothing more to say and decided to stop playing?

“So weed doesn’t affect you?”

“It does, believe me; I feel like I’m made of paper, I see in slow motion, instead of words I wanna say ‘behbehbehbehbeh’, but I control my actions. It’s like being drunk; you feel the impulse to do some things, but you can choose not to with some concentration.” Some just chose to let themselves act to their heart’s content.

Now, Gideon Grey, how does he work? I don’t know, Nick didn’t either, and that was fucking impressive. He just… did what he did because he wanted to.

The older hadn’t felt so stupefied ever in his life; maybe it was the cannabis what made the baker’s actions and speech seem so surreal and incredible to him, but all he got from that was that he was an idiot. He realized he too could move and sat up as well, looking at the other fox’s face; he even had a reassuring smile on! Damn… what could he say?

“Gid, can we go for a walk? We’ve barely left your truck since we came, and I think I need some fresh air.”

“Sure, that’s the point of a picnic, right? Really, I’m asking because this is my first.”

“Same here, buddy.”

What they learnt from that experience was... I don’t know, that not everyone has the same tolerance to certain substances? That Nick was more willing to let himself go under the influence? That his fantasies were more powerful than Gideon’s? That the baker had better control of his psyche when it was altered? Like, do you think he was referring to his capability to bypass or give in to the effects of weed at will when he said he was “feeling important, as if he were doing something?” Did he even know if he was doing it back then?

Fuck, maybe they overdid it, maybe they smoked too much, too fast; or maybe none of that happened at all. What if it’s you who’s high and you’ve just been reading the word cucumber time and time again?

 

* * *

 

As per Nick’s request since paranoia was still roaming his mind, they agreed on covering their privates, Gideon with his overalls and the other with his sweatpants, proceeding next to stroll around the area.

_“Nick, can we go slow? I’m not wearing any underwear.”_

_“And that’s bad?”_

_“This thing is made of sandpaper inside, If I go too fast I’ll grate my crotch.”_

They didn’t go too far anyway, given that the foxes – especially the older – had the feeling the truck would disappear if they didn’t look at it regularly. At least the reality shock made their movements slightly less sloppy, but their minds weren’t all that clear, even if one could remind himself of his high. In his head, Gideon was repeating _‘remember, you’re okay, you’re awake, be careful, watch Nick’_ in order to stay stable and fight the urges to do something he could regret, and the unemployed vulpine tried to get rid of his not-so-fun altered state by doing crunches; of course it didn’t help, but there was a recent thought that pushed him to do it. When the baker asked about his reasons, Nick didn’t hesitate.

“I don’t wanna be like my father.” Gideon understood perfectly what he meant; he had a similar fear, and he assured him that would never happen. He wouldn’t let that happen.

“You’re not.”

“Yet.”

“Nick, your dad couldn’t live without heroine, mine couldn’t without booze. I get it, you don’t like this the same way I don’t like drinking.”

“I’ve seen you drink.” Aren’t you supposed to laugh when you smoke weed? One was working on his abdominals and the other keeping his paranoia in check… never mind, still seems common.

“That doesn’t mean I like it. What I mean is- look, we’re just trying something new, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“For now.” Before he feared Gideon could become an addict, and now he feared that could happen to him; still, Nick’s ability to control his respiration was admirable. He wasn’t even panting, and yes, he remembered he had to breathe.

Since the average cheering up attempt Gideon went for hadn’t worked and having another one of their heart to hearts was out of the question, the younger resorted to the only thing that made sense to him. “Marijuana isn’t physiologically addictive, like nicotine or crack.” And that got Nick’s attention, so much that he halted his improvised workout.

“What does’t mean?”

Gideon looked at the sky for a few seconds, remembering something and nodding to himself before answering his counterpart. “If you consume it regularly and then quit it, you might crave it for a while, but you’ll go through no withdrawal symptoms; the worst that can happen is that you’ll miss its effects, but since it doesn’t release dopamine, you won’t necessarily have a hard time. It’s like being used to eating a specific dessert every day and then stop; you’re gonna miss it at first, but you’ll get over it.”

The baker sounded… more robotic than usual, like a kid that memorized the lesson their teacher told them verbatim, as if he knew all he had just said by heart. Nick didn’t know if that really happened or if he was tripping; he was pleasantly surprised, skeptical, and scared of been living a lie and Gideon being an android. Still, he understood the explanation.

“Why do you know that?”

The younger just shrugged, this time in a more common tone, pardon his mild slur. “I wasn’t sure of doing this either, so I read a couple studies about it.” If that was the case, he had to have a pretty good memory.

“So… I’m not a junkie?”

Gideon shook his head no and proceeded to reply using the same explicative voice. “It can affect blood pressure, behavior, motivation, concept of punishment and reward, inhibition of sexual gratification, sleep, mood-” He stopped, knowing he was forgetting something… eh, he couldn’t be bothered to remember. Back in his normal inflexion he finished adding “you’re just jumpy; you were jumpy before, but now you’re extra jumpy.”

“Huh…” That did in fact help Nick calm down. Hearing that made he feel something similar to what Gideon did when he realized he was high but could still assume control; liberation and tranquility, as long as he were aware of his state, that is. “…neat.” He was supposed to know more about it since he had done it before, but the few times he had smoked previously he went straight to bed and then awakened wanting Meawxican food and a water bottle. Nick didn’t know what being high really entailed, and that added worry is what had kept him on edge most of the time.

The comprehension of his situation is what allowed him to enjoy the temporary numbness. Summing up, noticing and acknowledging their status was somewhat alike to the red pill in Matrix; they could see what was real and what was a product of their consciences, but the choice of how to act upon those delusions was theirs.

“Gid, you’re a genius.”

“No, I’m a baker.” It had been rocky, but if they were cautious about it, weed could be fun.

“Wanna go back? I’m craving some of your sweets.”

“Oh no…” Gideon jokingly pretended to be shocked, staggering but changing nothing about his expression. “…you _are_ an addict.”

“Guess you’ll have to punch me and kill me.” Whoa. Dark.

“I wanna laugh, but I don’t think I should.” Yeah dude, it had been like a week since fucking Charles died, have some respect.

“You should.” Of course they laughed about it. Fuck that guy.

The rest went way smoothly, with the vulpines finally sharing much deserved giggles and one more joined urination before they retreated to their fort.

"Hey, Gid."

"That's-a me."

"Seven is a number."

"Yes."

"And seventeen is a number too."

"Yes it is."

"Do you think numbers go through puberty?"

"I don't know. I've never met any in person."

"Like, do they... do they like... grow? Where- where- where's sevenadult? And sevenelderly? I don't- I don't get it. Do numbers... do numbers have an age of consent?"

"Nick, you should stop."

"Why?"

"You talk with letters, not numbers. You- you- you try to talk to a ten and she makes you feel worthless; _'man, Sharla doesn't like me.'_ Fuck you, and fuck Sharla. You know her name, not her sos- social security number."

"But Gide-"

"Fuck numbers."

"You know what? You have a point."

"Yeah, I'm winning."

"Winning what?"

"The rap battle that is life."

“You’ll have to tell me about that at some point.”

After a quick meal, they went back to their position in the truck’s bed, this time with Nick sitting between the baker’s legs and leaning on the pudgier mammal behind him, watching the scenery before their eyes and basking in the delight their company was.

“Gid, remember when I called you Giddy?”

“No.”

“I’m glad it didn’t stick. That’s already a word. Like, Giddy, are you giddy?”

Gideon didn’t respond, playing with the older’s ears was a very absorbing experience.

“See? You didn’t even know I was talking to you. And do you remember our first kiss?" Hearing the word ‘kiss’ got the pie fox’s attention, but it also was a hard question at the time; remembering things he had read was easier than events. They… were in a bed when that happened?

"Uhhh... it was during high school, I think. We had chemistry and you were like _'Gideon, it's me, your classmate Nicholas. I am deeply in love with you and I feel the urge to lick your molars and tap your loins,'_ and Mr. Fosh- Forsh- no, Fonshmank was looking at us, and you knew he was jealous so you whipped out my-"

Nick had been laughing since the baker imitated him, but he wanted a real answer because his memory was betraying him as well. "Gid, Gid, Gid, I love where you're going with that but I'm gonna have to stop you. I'm serious here, I can't remember our first kiss."

Well, if he was serious… no, it was still pointless. He tried his best, yet his neurons were busy tasing their own figurative asses; all that came to mind were images of them smooching a lot, and even though they made his tummy tickle, there was no context to them.

"Maybe we didn't have one." Was that even possible?

"How does that happen?"

"I don't know. I'm sure it was beautiful and perfect but it didn't happen."

Nick opened his mouth again, but the words he originally had in his mind were replaced with a new idea.

"You know what?” The older turned his head and looked straight at this favorite mammal with weighted eyelids and the tiny smile that had rented his muzzle for the day. “We should have it right now."

"Sure." Was all the equally baked baker replied. Why wouldn't he like that plan?

"Okay, don't move an inch."

Nick curved his body to the left and did his best at turning around, leaning even closer to the younger vulpine, brushing the baker's cold nose with his own and meeting his affable eyes with _hungrier_ ones. Hunger that took the shape of a playfully malicious grin before he lunged forward, introducing as much of Gideon's snout as he could in his mouth, delicately letting his fangs touch the cream colored fur surrounding it. The younger fox wasn't too bewildered, there wasn't much that could faze him at the time, though he wanted to say something... but he physically couldn't. Nick, on the other paw, could - kind of.

"Ah' 'og 'u. Oh 'o! Ah' geg ech 'oo hoon, Ah' wing't ech! Ang horg'y!"

All Gideon got from that was a bunch of licks on his chin and Nick's joint breath, but what the unemployed vulpine meant was 'I love you. Oh, no! I said it too soon, I ruined it! I'm sorry!' He freed the baker's muzzle with one last smooch on his nose and went back to his original position, feeling pretty content with himself.

Gideon didn't move, he only had one question. "Why?"

"You’re my first boyfriend, I got nervous, and all first kisses must be bad so the rest are not."

It wasn't a bad theory, Gideon wouldn't argue that; in fact, the silly smile on his muzzle meant that he agreed, although... "But we've kissed before! does that make all those bad? Or they don't count?"

"Nah, this is more like a prequel, they still count and are as good as you remember them."

Awww, that was so cute… but wait… “Are we boyfriends only counting from now too?”

Oh shit, that was a good question; what did kissing imply? How would the gods look at them? Was their innocence lost? Could they be saved?!

“No, I think we’re married now.”

“Nice.” Hold on, if they were married, that meant… “Nick, are you a gay?”

“Yeah, I think so. You?” **_Does Gideon Grey is_** \- no, we’re not doing that. Sexuality shouldn’t be labeled in such a carefree manner, it’s more complex than just being attracted to one sex or another. It depends on traits, on external conditions, on the influence of- **_gay?!_**

“I don’t know, maybe? You kissed me, am I now a gay?” If you believe you can become gay by touching another homosexual, you are right. But only if you believe it, though; if you don’t and touch a homosexual you’ll stay the same, if you do believe that and touch one you’ll suddenly turn rainbow colored and your god will slap you.

“Probably. If you feel gay you should get tested.”

“I… I think- wait, was that an AIDS joke?”

“No, I meant literal- holy shit, Gid; you have a dark side, you know that?”

“Yeah, my feet and my hands are more brownish.”

“That’s not what I-“

“I know what you meant, Nick.” They were just playing, there was nothing to worry about.

Although maybe that was something to worry about.

“Gid, are we doing too good?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re like, the perfect couple.” Gideon’s entire body trembled with enthusiasm when he heard that, and his arms automatically surrounded the thoughtful older, pulling him closer and rubbing his muzzle on one of Nick’s squishy cheeks from behind.

“We are.” The thought that occupied the unemployed fox’s mind was a little more convoluted than that statement.

“But in romantic comedies now comes the part of the conflict.”

“The conf-? Wait, how many of those have you seen?”

“Enough. Like, now we argue or something and sad music plays.” Well, Gideon didn’t feel like arguing and the closest thing to music he could imagine was a bunch of random lines that happened to rhyme.

“I think we already argued today and I didn’t like it. Is that necessary?”

“No, no, god no. Unless you want to hit me and leave me or something?” No, that didn’t sound like a good plan.

“No, no no no. I’d rather die.”

“Me too.” Nick reinforced his sentence with a sloppy kiss on the side of Gideon’s face his mouth could reach; he’d prefer getting stabbed than laying a finger on his Gid. That wasn’t the weed speaking; it applied to both of them, they already talked about it, and why would they anyway? Your significant other mustn’t signify so much if you think violence can solve any of your problems; unless one of those problems is that your sexual life is losing its light and you mutually decide to give BDSM a try.

“And what you said happens in all movies?” Gideon wasn’t much of a cinephile, he couldn’t know; he had seen a couple of those, but he preferred buddy cop shows. That had nothing to do with Judy and her job, though; he liked how they get progressively more absurd as writers run out of ideas.

“In every single one of them… except this one;” Oh, yeah. A film that had ingrained in Nick’s brain for its traumatic value. “When it looks like it’s gonna happen, the actors face the camera and go _‘oh, but I was expecting a conflict. This is too bland, I’m not watching this!’_ and the other says _‘well, okay then. We already had it rough, let us have a good time; there are already many clichés but we’re not falling for that one.’_ And the director shows up and says _‘yeah, fuck your expectations; Hollywood’s uncreative cokeheads have brainwashed you and told you what to like. Love yourself, don’t succumb to someone else’s opinion, and remember that these are just fictional characters and everyone’s lives keep going beyond this.’”_

The baker went blank for a moment as he processed the mental picture Nick’s description had created. In all honesty, it sounded interesting; one doesn’t watch romantic comedies expecting to get insulted. Not directly, at least; the predictable scripts and bland, two dimensional characters with uninteresting motivations already do that.

“I wanna watch that.”

“Sure, let me look up the title.” As Nick went to pick the phone he hadn’t paid attention to since that morning, he noticed that there were two joints left, and that he could move normally for the most part. That could only mean…

“Gid, another one?”

“You sure? Not so long ago you thought we were gonna die.” That was true, but things had changed since then.

“If I start freaking out again throw me in the pond.” He could joke in his usual Nick manner and talking didn’t take much brainpower; death seemed distant and he’d try to keep it that way.

“Okay, but we only have one dry towel left.”

In any case, the risk was smaller; the remaining sticks were the shortest and slimmest ones, and one even had two filters. If they died from that, they kind of deserved it.

\---

Praised be the heavens, they survived smoking another one! And it only made Nick go on a monologue about how incredible smartphones and technology were as he tried to remember the title of the movie he had pitched Gideon while the pie fox acted like a hypeman, supporting the other statements on the usefulness of touching a piece of plastic to access an immense sea of information. They decided they’d watch the aforementioned film once they went back to Gideon’s place, but as Nick was about to close the Zoogle tab on his phone, the younger took a peek at some others that were open. One specifically stood out for it read _‘chubby daddy baker porn gay.’_

“That’s from the weekend before we met.”

“I really am your type, huh?”

“You have no idea.” The pie fox felt weirdly flattered, not really in a sexual way, but maybe for being Nick’s ideal type. Such reassurance was always welcome.

“You see me like a daddy too?” That was the cannabis speaking; not so much for what he said but the way he said it. Regular Gideon wouldn’t ask something like that in such a shameless manner, would he?

“Sometimes.” Nick’s reply wouldn’t have changed no matter the conditions. What could he say? His Gid had that oomph in him, you know? That characteristic appeal and behavior, that something he loved, that way of expressing, that body, those strong arms… if they didn’t sleep in the same bed, he’d like the other to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight.

“But I’m younger, I should be seeing you as a daddy.”

“Do you?”

“Sometimes...” Gid had had his run on the sonny track too, especially when Nick got more serious and thoughtful, like when he was acting like a sex ed teacher, but in the daddy race the pie fox had the advantage. “…can you move one second, please?”

The older didn’t know where the sudden request came from, but he had no reason to decline; the next instant, the overalls Gideon had been wearing as pants since their walk came off. Before the unemployed vulpine could say something, the younger added “I’m getting hard and I don’t wanna rub it in these. It’s red enough already.”

And yes, Nick could see he was in fact sporting a half chub. Aside from that and the fact he was getting an erection of his own, there was nothing sexual about the situation. Well, and what was there to do?

“Want me to do something about it?” The ex-officer offered with certain confusion. Of course, he loved what he was looking at, and his dick did too, but something was off.

“The thing is I’m not even horny. I haven’t thought about sex since I wanted you to do me.” It was true, the events that followed that weren’t too arousing. “And you? You’re getting hard too.”

Gideon could easily notice the growing bulge in the baggy sweatpants, and he was to blame. The pie fox’s could probably be linked to their daddy talk and his higher ease to get erections; he gave it a few tugs given that it was what the context suggested, but felt nothing. Nick tried himself and the result was the same, not only on his boyfriend but on himself.

“This is the weed, right?” The older asked, not concerned but annoyed. It was such a strange sensation; for example, part of him wanted to suck the pie fox off, yet another felt too heavy to do so, and if he wasn’t even going to enjoy it it’d be a pointless chore. He found the shape and the color of Gideon’s cock more appetizing than ever, glistening under the afternoon sun. However, the one thing that felt good to do was looking at it; his own penis didn’t seem that appealing to him, maybe because he knew it better, or perhaps because it refused to feel when it was touched. God, weed made him get mad at his dick.

“I guess.” The only thing they could do was waiting until they hid back in their sheaths. Fuck, it was like starting puberty again. On the bright side, they got to play with each other’s balls for a little while, and that was always fun. “Set a reminder on your phone to jerk off when we’re sober, this can’t last forever.”

Both naked vulpines ended up seated next to each other in silence. For a few minutes the two of them were angry at themselves for being unable to satisfy their partner even though they couldn’t do anything about it, and they had no one to tell them _‘it’s okay honey, it happens’._ They stayed quiet as their irritation faded, with their thoughts devolving into different things; in Nick’s case he ended up wondering if black and white keys on pianos got along, and Gideon began bobbing his head. The older noticed and observed without uttering a word; the movement was somewhat hypnotic and the vibe in that truck was pretty chill, he didn’t want to disturb it.

But then Gideon did the unthinkable. His head stopped moving, its position lowered and fixated on his own feet; he cleared his throat and…

_“Yo… check me out.”_

Nick tilted his head in confusion; that was a weird thing to say after a quarter hour of quietness, and when he opened his mouth to ask the baker about what he had to check out, it started.

_“I've always been kind of a loser/_

_Who didn't hate me pitied me/_

_I didn't make any new friends/_

_Until I started smoking weed/_

_Nobody told me being a cool kid meant you gotta cry a lot/_

_But I don't really care, lately, I'm more happy than not/”_

Deep breath.

_“And my head is vowed like a newlywed/_

_My ass closed, my sheath is wet/_

_My dick is dead, and this smell/_

_Relieves stress? Fuck I don’t care/_

_You better bet, I'm a G/_

_I'm from the stret, lack an E/_

_No need to fret, 'cause where it be/_

_You know it, the rest of wild-Dee/”_

 

What. What the fuck just happened? Was Gideon rapping?

Nick’s eyes couldn’t be any more open and attentive, his mouth agape and his whole body shaking in shock; he didn’t know if his high was gone or if he had fallen into a coma, but whatever that was had impacted him hard. What was he supposed to do? It didn’t sound bad at all- no, no, no, fuck that. He had heard Finnick rap for years and nothing could compare to that; maybe it was because he was mentioned in it, because he could somewhat relate to it… maybe because it was the baker rapping, but he liked it. He liked it a lot.

“…Gid?” Still, it was just… so out of character. He had made a couple comments throughout the day, but given their state he hadn’t taken them seriously. Come on, look at him! The last thing you’d think of someone like Gideon doing is fucking rap!

On the other hand, the addressed mammal didn’t seem fazed at all. He lifted his head, looked at Nick as if nothing happened, and went “that second part was kinda dumb but I like that start and stop flow.”

“So you… actually do rap?” Both foxes were on opposite galaxies at the moment; one was amazed and the other, like many other rappers, didn’t give a fuck about anything. Absolutely astonishing.

The plump mammal’s reply to that question was a shrug and a barely audible “sometimes.” It looked like he was going to add something else, but his entire being paused for a moment as he mumbled something.

Nick was at a loss for everything, and Gideon seemed to be hoarding that everything when the following second he said “I think this is better” and cleared his throat again.

_"You ain't gonna hear a fake ‘I love you’ from me/_

_Keep the realness hidden, tell the world we only homies/_

_When we're alone their voices turn into white noise/_

_Rejoice - the shared loneliness - porque estamos juntos hoy-_

_But tomorrow might be different.../"_

Was it over? Nick was silent, asking something like that would be rude. Hearing Gideon say ‘homies’ was a little silly and he didn't understand one of the lines, but whatever, it rhymed. The older had to thank the moment MC Pie fox took to breathe as his brain processed his words; that song was about them too.

_"Ah... distinct, instinct tells me/_

_We're in synch - this is - the right thing/_

_Red harmony/_

_Our symphony/_

_Muffled screams/_

_Go blind, go deaf, one name came to mind-_

_Nick/”_

Now his flow was more... precise? There was more emphasis behind the rhymes and especially behind Nick's name, making the ex-officer gulp in anticipation as he observed his favorite fox knitting a blanket of words that wrapped the both of them together. He knew what he was referring to in each sentence, and he… fuck, nothing could describe what he felt.

" _You picked me up when I was shit/_

_Gave me a rea-/_

_Son to keep/_

_Kicking after being kicked/_

_Son - of a vix-/_

_En – ten - years later tears meant/_

_Nothing but happiness in broken mo- ments/_

_A little red fur and the blue is o- ver/_

_Oh, - yes.../"_

No, that couldn't be... a freestyle rap couldn't bring Nick Wilde to tears. Fuck, he was expectant, eager and excited; a tingly feeling ran from his lower back to his neck, his jaw was trembling, and if he weren't sitting in the back of the trunk, he'd be on the edge of his seat. What could he say? He could relate to what Gideon was saying, it was their story.

For the first time since he started rapping, he looked straight into Nick's eyes, as if he wanted to send his following lines directly to the older's heart.

_"Call it perfect for the lack of a better word/_

_I wanna thank you for letting me into your world/_

_'Cause I'm just a dumbass that you made better - since I fell in love/”_

And it worked. Nick could feel the emotion behind those last words, and they reached him. Whatever composure he had was gone, he had never felt more praised and more vulnerable at the same time... god, such a sensation of ecstasy and weakness. He was awestruck, paralyzed, and Gideon on the opposite end seemed really satisfied; of course not because of Nick's reaction, it was due to his performance. It wasn't exactly pride what he felt, yet he liked letting Nick what he thought, and he had never before done anything similar with any type of audience; maybe it was because of the cannabis in his system, maybe he was too distracted and it lead him to rhyme such emotional serenade, maybe he wanted to test his newfound confidence. He didn't doubt, he didn't hesitate, and he was feeling good... until it truly it him: independently of the reason why, he made Nick cry.

Right when he was going to say something, the older threw himself at the baker rapper, weeping on his chest like a child and unable to pronounce _'you made me better, I love you so much.'_ ’ Without thinking twice, Gideon instinctively reciprocated the action, but was incapable of finding a chance to intervene.

A few minutes went by and the couple was lying on the makeshift bed again, drained of energy and with Nick on top of Gideon, resting between his burly arms. When the one sobbing calmed down he asked the baker everything he wanted to know about his performance, and he provided.

“I’m not a rapper, I really don’t like anything about rap, it’s that… remember what I told you about when I smoked as a kid?”

“Yeah.”

“This is the same; back then the kids in my class were obsessed with that 8 Mile movie.”

“I’ve seen it.”

“I didn’t like it much, but I learnt to do one thing: rhyming.”

“From the movie?”

“You know that the bunny rabbit is sad and angry all the time? And then he writes about that and raps about it and battles the wolves and wins?”

“Yeah.”

“I tried the same; every now and then when I was angry or sad I sat in my room or came to the pond and thought of words that rhymed. Sometimes about my parents, sometimes about other kids… I never said any of it to their faces, but at least I killed some time. Fuck, maybe that’s why I quit punching kids.”

“And trees, you told me you punched trees too.”

“Then I grew up and never kicked the habit because when I said it out loud I didn’t stutter nor had an accent or… nothing. I liked hearing myself like that, saying those things… it made me feel better.” And thus, Gideon’s very first coping mechanism was born. Something he had never shared with anyone ever before, something he thought he’d never do in front of anyone, something that seemed anodyne but ended up proving to be determining to Gideon’s behavior and perception of self; Nick had the right to feel special.

“You’re incredible, you know that?”

“No I’m not.”

Before weed-induced-relaxation-induced-slumber completely appropriated their consciousness, one said he was sorry, and the other replied that there was nothing to be sorry about. They kept discovering new things about each other, and it was normal given it had been less than two weeks since they met, but even if some of those things were never meant to be discovered, at heart they still were the same two castigated foxes that somehow had a lot of love to give. How they managed to not lose all hope could be a mystery at times, but they held on, and their reward was greater than anything they ever imagined.

* * *

 

By the time both foxes were awake, the sun was almost completely gone.

"Are you still high?" Nick enjoyed the company but it was getting chilly, the towels that formed the cot were still slightly wet from their skirmish in the pond, and they were naked. As Gideon originally predicted no one else had gone there so it didn’t really matter, except it’d be a shame if they caught a cold the first time they go on a picnic.

"A little dizzy, but everything else feels normal." He could tell where all his limbs were and nothing hurt, yet there was something new; a kind of extenuation that made him yawn so big Nick could see his tonsils.

"That makes two of us.” That applied to the tiredness too, Nick wasn’t free of consequences either. “We have a joint left, what do you wanna do?" At the time he didn’t want to hear any more about weed; the new experience was okay and it had taught them a couple things about themselves, but he could start to feel the toll.

“What if we keep it as a keepsake?”

“You read my mind. It’s been interesting, but I think I’m done with this forever.”

“Yeah, we do well enough without it.”

“Will you rap for me again?”

“Maybe someday. That was my first concert and I was drugged.”

“And I’m your number one fan.”

It wasn’t just their bodies; the colder weather and lack of natural light told them it was time to go back to civilization, and even if their date was a little more adventurous than expected, it was fun. It even made Nick wish he had more friends so he could tell them about his incredible boyfriend, but keeping their activities secret was cooler, and one important detail, it was only theirs.

Before going back to the Burrows, Nick put on the shirt Gideon had worn since his was still wet. In exchange, he let the baker wear his underwear so his most sensitive parts wouldn’t chafe against the overalls’ fabric. As the older was about to put his sweatpants on the younger couldn’t stop himself from saying “now I get why this was on your list” after seeing how adorable Nick looked in his obviously bigger clothes.

“And now I know I made the right choice putting your overalls on that thing.” The exposed chest and arms of the younger were a key part, but they didn’t have to worry much about their appearance; they only had to step outside to get into Gideon’s apartment.

The drive there was short and silent for the most part; both were exhausted, replaying their favorite moments from the day in their minds and showcasing twin small placid smiles. Before exiting the vehicle, Nick had the need to do one last thing.

"You had a great idea Gid, I loved doing this with you. Thank you." And the cherry that topped such a formal and gentle display of gratitude was a chaste kiss on the baker’s cheek. It just felt right; he had given the younger a few headaches while the other kept him in check and also spoiled him with sweets and care. In essence, he felt like a child; he accepted it and didn’t mind it.

"Don't thank me, this was your idea too.” That was true; perhaps without the added pull weed supposed they’d never have gone on that picnic, but he wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. He wanted something special and he had gotten it.

“I loved it anyway, and I’m getting you that studio.” That was Nick’s new favorite memory, his Gid rapping about his life and how much he loved him. God, he really was too good to be real.

"You sure? We had our first kiss today, I think that’s rushing things a little." And that was Gideon’s, their new first kiss. It was silly and sappy in a weird manner, but somehow his Nick always found a way to make him smile.

“I don’t care. I love you, Gideon.”

“I love you too, Nick.”

If you think about it, those last lines were a summary of their relationship.

But right when they were going in for the before-leaving-the-car kiss…

“Hold on- I think someone’s coming.” Nick had seen something out of the corner of his eye on one of the side mirrors. It wasn’t the weed, he knew what he saw. A figure… a figure that advanced towards the truck at a fast pace… a figure carrying something in its hands that was about to reach the driver’s window…

“Gideon!” Oh! It was that jaguar! “I knew I’d seen your truck!” Good thing they didn’t have time to worry; as far as the baker knew, he was legal.

"Oh... Ra... Ro... Roger. Roger, hey!”

“Where were you? I didn’t know you were closing today.” Fuck.

“We just came... from, uh-“ What could be a believable lie? That guy liked him, he had become an usual customer; telling him he had been outside getting high and having sex with his boyfriend was risking a lot. “just came from-"

"Wait, I know you!” Whatever that lie could be, Gideon’s slowed down thought process halted its advance when the larger predator set his eyes on the copilot. That could be worse. “You're that officer from Zootopia! I remember seeing you on the news! The first fox cop that saved all predators!” Nick didn’t like compliments; even less grandiose ones coming from an absolute stranger when all he wanted to do was take a shower and lay on a real couch. “You're an inspiration! What are you doing in a place like this?"

It was the older’s turn to think of a lie. Okay, it was rushed and in less than perfect conditions, but he could come up with something. "Uh... Gideon and I are kinda-"

"Hold on, Gideon..." Never mind, the jaguar had realized something. He had been suspicious since he saw the two of them together, he had heard rumors, and he had come up with a hypothesis. "...are you related to Nick Wilde?!" An enthusiastic yelp that you’d imagine coming from a fangirl meeting whatever idol she could have that week left the bigger mammal there, making the baker’s half forced smile stagger and making a shining light bulb appear above the older’s head.

"We..."

"Sure, maybe not by blood, but we share a couple of fluids from time to time." Gideon didn’t know if he should laugh or be angry, but a customer was there; _show teeth, show teeth and be nice_!

"Oh yeah, I have a cousin like that… man, it's so good seeing you!” Good thing Nick’s joke seemed to fly over his head. “I'm here because my wife made some bread rolls and after telling her I’m friends with the baker fox she wanted you to try ‘em."

“Oh, thank you so much! You shouldn’t have!” The guy looked really nice to Nick, and if he was on good terms with his Gid, he couldn’t be too bad.

The burly jaguar halted for a second and sniffed the air before looking back at the foxes with a somewhat puzzled expression. "You guys been working out?" Fuck, the stench! The vulpines had gotten used to it and didn’t realize the entire vehicle still had some of the marijuana aroma in it. He had probably seen their outfits too…

“Yeah, we’ve been doing some laps, getting our cardio on.” Nick back at it again with the save; it was the first time he tried his façade on a non-Zootopian, and so far it was going smoothly. Roger also seemed kind of oblivious, which in that case was for the best.

"Gideon, you can keep up with an officer's routine?" _‘Wow, fuck you too.’_ Is what the baker thought but couldn’t say; could they make that kind of jokes already? Were they such good friends? Eh, he either wanted to impress Nick by putting the other fox down, or didn’t even realize what he said could be interpreted as.

"Oh, he very much can; I was holding onto him for dear life after ten minutes." Up until that moment, the ex-officer hadn’t lied. He even had a wet t-shirt to prove it.

"My family isn't going to believe you're here!" No, no, **no!**

“Roger, I don’t think you should…” Gideon was aware of Nick’s wishes, and he’d do his best to make them come true. How? That… he didn’t know.

“Huh? Why?” Yeah, why couldn’t the jaguar tell his family, and that family to others, and those others to other others that Nick was there?

The addressed fox would tell him why. He leaned closer to the window, using the steering wheel as support, and looked at the burly predator directly into his eyes with one of the most serious faces he had ever made. "I need you to keep quiet, Roger. I’m on a secret mission.”

And the older’s act absolutely convinced the jaguar, who leaned closer and looked around as if someone were watching them; it was important, he couldn’t ruin Nick’s operation. "What kind?" He whispered. “Night howlers again? I’ve seen some rabbits play around there too much lately.”

Oh shit, the foxes didn’t think something so dumb could work. But it did, and that conversation could go on for too long… Nick wanted to rest. Please, dude, go home.

"You know… secret kind?" Such a vague answer was enough to make Roger nod in an understanding only he got, give them the bag he was carrying, and turn around.

"I see, I asked too much... it's been great seeing you." After that, he literally ran away from there, probably back to his own house and worried he could have ruined a crucial operation. Nick was okay with that outcome, and Gideon was too, for the most part.

“You know he’s gonna ask me about you every day, right?”

“Eh, we’ll come up with something.”

“And shouldn’t you be more jumpy? That was a Burrower right there.”

“I can handle them if they come one by one.”

Finally home! The truck was in the garage with every door open so the smell of weed would go away, and as soon as the foxes got in the apartment, their clothes came off.

“Shower?”

“Shower.” Their dizzy, tired state might go away if they had one, and their body odor also let them know they needed one as the air in the baker’s place hit them; it smelled like they usually did, and they didn’t.

“And we can check if we can cum again.”

“Yes, please. And be careful, don’t hurt yourself again with the sprinkler.” Nick had made an enemy while in the Burrows; Gideon’s shower had one preferred user, and it let the newcomer know it wasn’t him.

"We watch the movie I told you about after this?"

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

 

The foxes left the bathroom clean, feeling fresh of both body and mind, and orgasmed. It had to be a quick pawjob for each since the plate limited their movements, but it felt great nonetheless; the images of each other naked all day had unconsciously implanted into their brains and that rushed things, and it also helped them know for sure they could still cum. It was efficient sex. Nick even gave the younger tips on how to approach anal sex. _‘Put the shower head on your hole, open and close the tap, feel it around… maybe this is better for when you’re alone, but think about how it feels when you poop. Try to control those muscles, explore a little…’_ He did as much as he could without having to say “it’s okay if you shit a little, it happens.” That was something the younger might have to discover by himself.

After some fooling around, wet smooches, exchanges of sweet words about their day, debating about dinner and settling for whatever was easier to make, and Gideon doing most of the cooking while Nick helped by rubbing his shoulders both reducing his effectiveness and raising his relaxation, they cuddled on the couch and got ready to watch _‘I saw mommy kissing Santa and now I have two dads.’_

“I didn’t know this was a smart TV.”

“That and my phone came with the line I got, just… please, don’t look at my Zoogle history.” All Nick got from that was that Gideon had watched something naughty on that TV, and that it actually was a great idea. Maybe he’d get one too, his eyes wouldn’t get so tired during lonely evenings.

As the film started, something hit Nick.

“Hey, Gid.”

"What's up?"

"This is the first movie we watch together. Isn't that like couples 101?"

"We skipped straight to advanced couplistry because we were the smarter kids in the class, remember?"

"I must be smart if I got to kiss you without even taking you to the movies." _Awww~~_

"And I must be smarter because, uh... you're real and I tricked you into loving me." Aw. Not the same type of _aw_ from before, a different type of _aw_.

"You tricked people who weren't real into loving you?"

"Nooo, but-"

"I mean, I listened to your raps, you do keep it real."

"Nick-"

"It makes sense if mammals, say, less realer than you fall in love with you."

"...please stop-"

"And considering that you're from da streets-"

"Oh my god."

"-and you never front, it's a huge compliment that you said I'm real. Thank you." Even if it was coated in jokes, it was a genuine display of appreciation… mostly.

"...I'm poisoning your next pie."

"I’ll eat it anyway."

**_"I... I don't love you."_ **

**_"...what?"_ **

**_"I don't... I can't- I'm just not in love with you."_ **

**He realized the other was serious, and when he did so he started laughing.**

**_"That hurts, you know? Usually I'm on the other end."_ **

**_"Nic-"_ **

**_"No, no, I understand; you're going to say that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm okay the way I am, but you just can't. You tried to ignore, to hate a little less what's bugging you, you've really tried... but it's useless."_ **

**_"Nicholas, please... stop this-"_ **

**_"It was nothing at first, maybe you even thought it was a cute quirk... or maybe you just can't love me! We're wired differently! Y-you and your fucking perfect-"_ **

"Aaaand there."

And just like Nick told Gideon, in the following scene the characters were addressing the viewers directly.

"Honestly, they're all pricks."

"I liked the part where the robot says he had real feelings."

"Why?"

"He beat up the kid for putting him in the microwave; it’s true, machines are taking over."

“You’re not high anymore, right?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

They couldn’t be too affected anymore. In fact, the strain that sheep sold Gideon wasn’t especially strong; come on, Phil the stoner was tiny compared to them, maybe a third of the baker’s weight. How much do you think he needed to get completely wasted? These two dumbasses just didn’t have any tolerance.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful; they fell asleep on the couch shortly after and Gideon had to carry Nick to bed.

"Fox Rabbit, go to the Shelter and battle Free World."

Was he talking in his sleep?

"Yeah Gid, show 'em who's boss."

His rapping sure did a number on the older, huh?

“Daddy Gid.”

That… wasn’t… in the movie.

“You awake?”

“…no.”

He was lucky they were already in bed or maybe Gideon would have accidentally hit his head against the doorframe while he carried him… and he hated it had a nice ring to it.

Peaceful slumber is what forgone.

 

* * *

 

_‘Ma, Signore Grande, voi pensi che-?’_

_‘Lui è perfetto, accetterá.’_

_‘Noi possiamo ancora far-‘_

**_‘Fallo._ ** **_Ora.'_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read the previous chapters and have reached this line I must congratulate you, you've been part of an experimental course on behavioral analysis, theory of correlation between action and emotion and their mutual impact, theory of subversive repression, and hypothesization of variable social and psychological conducts. By now you should be able to recognize behavioral patterns in people around you and empirically determine their origin through observation and interaction.
> 
> Hahaaaaaa, I'm bullshiting you like Em with that Revival trash. 'Hey guys, I'm sad :/ but I'm coming back. I'm the best, have this line about diarrhea. If you don't believe the exact same thing I do you're dumb and a nazi because I AM THE TRUTH. BLM are right, white people should give them their houses. Still digging beating women tho uwu.' No, for real, I was supposed to be a shrink but I dropped out after three days because I wanted to be an artist. Haha, I pranked myself. My rap name is Dr. Disappointo. You wanna make an appointment? I'll diss-appoint you. Yeah, in a rap battle. I'm from the street, bitch.
> 
> No I'm not, I'm sorry, I don't have a rap name, please don't make an appointment, thank you for reading, I love you.
> 
> I wanna see Gideon's lyrics explained and deconstructed on Genius by next week or you aren't a real fan.
> 
> And happy holidays? I don't know, I don't like them much. Like, if you wanna buy a Roomba you don't have to wait until Christmas, Amazon has good deals in summer too. And, let's be honest here, if you're legit enjoying this fic you're not longing for a wholesome family time next to the chimney. Or maybe you are. I don't know you, dude, don't play me like that. My birthday is soon, only 46 more years until retirement! Take care, pals. 
> 
> New year, new arc?


	18. And we back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick dies. Gideon dies too. Everyone dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait until new year.

What were you doing last Monday at five in the morning? Nick and Gideon were waiting for the train that’d took the first back to Zootopia.

It was finally happening; after two weeks of coexistence – with everything it conveyed, from new experiences and outlooks on life to the couple pounds the older had gained during his stay in the Burrows – they were going back to their individual lives. The fear of not seeing each other for a while meaning they wouldn't meet again had disappeared, it was stupid; of course they'd miss being together, and playing, and touching... but Gideon's job keeping him away had worked as some kind of training, and they knew it didn't mean their relationship had to change. They made the most of their weekend together anyway, not that they needed an excuse for that, which translated to whatever you could imagine the vulpine couple doing without leaving the comfort of the baker’s apartment much, plus some purposeful, slightly more dramatic moments: preparing for what was to come, Nick would occasionally stop whatever he was doing, look out a window with a sad, nostalgic expression as he touched the glass, and sigh as loudly as he could. At first the baker found it unsettling; they were going to spend some time apart, sure, but Nick could come back whenever he wanted. However, after getting all of his windowpanes covered in paw prints, the joke got too tiring and Gideon made the older clean every glass he touched; he’d get the other to take his mind off whatever he could be imagining, and he’d also get some scrubbing done. Everybody won.

At one point Nick expressed his concern of being too clingy and Gideon reassured him he thought the same of himself, but that if it meant spending time together he'd do whatever. In the end, they agreed on one idea: it's good missing your significant other from time to time, that way the rapture of seeing them again is greater… and, well, spending some time with other mammals couldn’t hurt them. You know your own little world is getting too narrow when the only one you can talk about in a positive way is your partner.

Besides, it was a new experience too, pausing their shared living in such a joyful note. It was nothing like Zootopia, they didn't even get angry or cry! Who knows, maybe they had gotten over the teenage romance phase of their relationship once its foundation was solidly established; one can be both in love and in charge of their duties, and turns out your significant other doesn't disappear when you blink. Did they mature, or did they have a big enough stash of memories to reminisce about for whatever long they'd spend apart? Well, it's doesn't matter, what's important is that they were calm, because even after choosing such diurnal-nocturnal hours to bid farewell peacefully once again, they weren’t alone; a sheep couple was doing the exact same.

They were impossible to ignore; both were bawling like babies and declaring how much they’d miss each other. Sometimes they stopped to breathe and/or kiss, and that picture made the foxes cringe a little, not due to the couple itself, but because it reminded the fox duo of themselves.

"Look, Gid." The older whispered, hiding his face behind his light suitcase, not so much to avoid being seen but to abstain from staring. It wasn’t a pretty thing to watch, but boy was it mesmerizing. Just like a window to the recent past.

"I'm looking." Gideon on the other hand was hooked, as if he were witnessing the most relatable theater play ever. Were Nick and him so melodramatic? Probably, yes, but he couldn’t feel regret at the moment; he was too invested in the other couple’s woes. Given their reaction he could only guess one of them was going to war.

"I kinda wanna laugh, but..." He’d be a huge hypocrite if he did; he preferred his houses made of any material more durable than glass.

"Yeah, yeah." Gideon felt the same, but he wasn’t laughing either; at best he was annoyed. They didn’t sleep much that night for obvious reasons, and since they were already wide awake at four in the morning, the foxes decided they could get to the station early and maybe do some stargazing or just enjoy the chilly breeze that blew at such unascertained hours; by the time they arrived, the ovine pair was already there, doing their thing. The baker was sure they hadn’t even noticed their presence.

You could say they were thankful when the train arrived, at least the noise gave them a minute to say goodbye without being eclipsed by the other couple; compared to theirs the predators’ farewell was very dry. They were just standing there, facing each other with mirrored sad smiles, lowered ears and sleepy eyes, suppressing the urges to touch their counterpart and letting occasional titters escape their throats.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"I know."

"Are you gonna miss me?"

"What do you thi-"

Someone from inside the vehicle decided to interrupt their not so romantic instance yelling "fox, you getting in or what?!" and before the vulpine to whom was directed that exclamation could reply, the younger spat back an equally assertive "hey fuck you, buddy." A confident, restless and sleepless Gideon wouldn’t allow anyone to interrupt them while they were trying to have a moment. For god’s sake, couldn’t they have a little respect? At the bare minimum, no Zootopian disrupted them while they were doing the same in the capital.

But no matter how much Gideon could insult a disembodied voice and how much Nick could love it, it was time; they had to go their separate ways. This time without tears, external anger and sorrow, or trembling voices.

"Well, I'll be seeing you."

What they felt was uncertainty, the same sensation you have when you go to the doctor with nothing but a cold, but that thought of _‘what if it’s something else? What is going to happen?’_ is still on your mind. Not exactly fear; it was the nervousness of experiencing something they weren’t expecting. What would happen once Nick left?

"Oh, you will. As soon as I make sure the electric company is happy I'm coming back."

They didn’t know, but whatever it could be they wouldn’t let it bring them down; they were strong enough to endure spending some time apart. It was a _‘see you later,’_ no biggie.

There wasn't much of an audience and the chubbier vulpine wasn't too worried about his surroundings, so before Nick got in that train, he tried to compensate all the time they had lost to the sheep couple by placing the swiftest of pecks on his lips. They couldn’t think of a better farewell. Their sad smiles were no more; big, goofy grins had replaced them, and their uncertainty had turned into a single, more tangible and mundane thought: ‘too bad we’re not having lunch together.’

They weren’t losing anything; they’d be mature about it. The only thing they were going to miss was each other’s touch, and technology could help with everything else.

Nick waved from behind one of the windows and Gideon imitated him; the next moment, they were out of each other’s sights. Their first minute alone after two weeks, and how was it?

"Man, I love that fox!" Gideon voiced what he was thinking at a respectable volume since the only spectator there was the ewe from before, and she was too busy crying on the ground to pay attention to whatever anyone had to say. The baker even made himself laugh; he had said it out in the open and was still alive! Well, unlike the sobbing sheep he had places to be, a business to attend to… and a new text from Nick? When he looked at his phone, Gideon found a picture of the wailing ram that got in the same train his boyfriend did.

05:03 ->[hey gid look. it u]

Very funny… no, really, the baker couldn’t deny it. That was him one week ago.

[Hope he sees you and kicks your ass]

[No I don't I love you and his girlfriend is doing the same] <\- 05:04

05:04 -> [loving me??]

[Crying] <\- 05:05

05:05 -> [dont cry babe, i love you too. gonna try and catch a wink w i get there]

[Ok, I'm getting ready for work. Talk later?] <\- 05:06

05:06 -> [you know it]

Texting Gideon felt weird. It was the first time they did it, and even if Nick read his messages in his voice it wasn't the same. Matter of getting used to it, he guessed. Anyway, he had three hours to kill; time to find a seat that didn’t smell like ass and rest his eyes.

…wait. He hadn’t told anyone he was going back to Zootopia…

Eh, he’d pop Judy a text once he got there. She had gone back to her place, right? It was Monday, she had work… whatever, he could get home by foot.

 

* * *

 

Back in Zootopia! Wow, things sure had… stayed the same. Nick had been away for a week, what could he expect? Same streets, same mammals, new ads on the bus stops; as long as his apartment hadn’t changed its location he was happy. But first things first: telling Gideon he had arrived. If he was at work a text would do.

[im alive, i arrived, the ram cried for two more hours and i couldnt sleep]

[have a good day?] <\- 08:09

He’d get better at texting non snarky remarks… with time… maybe.

Nick made his way through the usual Monday morning haziness the entire city was in, power walking in the least noteworthy manner he could as he avoided the large crowds plaguing the crosswalks and sidewalks; he wanted to get home quick, striking a friendly conversation with strangers that stared at him wasn’t part of his plan. Shortly after he reached his destination, and his apartment had never looked better; everything was clean and tidy, his food reserves almost as full as they were when he left, and what used to be a bunch of dirty clothes wasn’t anymore for they laid on his bed folded and without any fox musk adhered. Man, Judy was a great housekeeper.

Speaking of the rabbit, he had to let her know he was back. He sent a quick text informing her of his arrival, and against all odds, she replied a few minutes later; when the fox asked if she was misdoing and ignoring her obligations during work hours she said she was not and that she'd be having breakfast with Bogo and Clawhauser at a donut place not too far away from his old precinct an hour from then or so. Such event was completely out of the ordinary, so uncommon you could say it was weird as fuck; did they decide to forget about their responsibilities and have some time for themselves? That wasn’t like them, the trio did care about their jobs. When Nick asked why, all he received was an invitation to join them, and given he had lots of free time and that his curiosity had peaked he accepted.

But first he had to go pay the bills that had brought him back to Zootopia; the electric company was quick sending envelopes written in red and the fox didn't want that. Two cups of black coffee from his still relatively new machine and one "I'll unpack my stuff when I get back" later he was ready to do all the walking he didn't do during his stay with Gideon; the bank and the donut place were in opposite directions and the caffeine was kicking in. Alright, it was time to do boring, responsible adult with a somewhat active social life shit.

Without getting into much detail, Nick's bank wasn't the kind grannies go to cash their retirement checks. What would you expect from a business Mr. Big had dipped his paws in? On the bright side, they didn't ask many questions and he didn't need to visit it too often; perks of being an economics guru.

No matter what his business was there, his presence surely didn’t go unnoticed; as soon as he stepped foot outside the shady institution, Nick’s phone rang, and it was none other than the crime lord arctic shrew himself. The first thing that crossed the fox’s mind was _‘of course;’_ the rodent’s underlings had seem him, he knew Nick was back in Zootopia, and given how their last conversation went he thought he deserved an apology. The vulpine was sleep deprived enough and fueled by nothing but coffee and apathy, and he had some time to kill before meeting with his ex-colleagues; he’d respond, he’d swim in that shark pool. However, the development was nothing like he thought. Mr. Big wanted to talk about something different; his sudden orphanhood, and how he still considered the former con artist a member of his family, never mind his transgressions towards the Mafioso’s actual bloodline. Can you guess how Nick reacted?

“Is this a fucking joke?!” He didn’t love it, that’s for sure. The call was getting so heated, on his end at least, that he had to put in on hold and go back home before continuing so he wouldn’t cause a scene.

"Am I supposed to believe you've been taking care of me all this time? That- that my parents told you to look after me or something?" That’s what the fox got out of everything the shrew said, and you could understand why he’d be incredulous; suddenly, out of the blue and after attempting murder on Nick several times he cared about him like a son? Was that pity for his parents’ disappearance? Was the Godfather his actual godfather? No, fuck that.

"Believe what you want, Nicky. Would you care if I told you I bought you baby clothes?" No, he wouldn’t. Why would he, anyway? The vulpine worked for him for a short while, so what? What relation did he even have with-? No, no; he wouldn’t think about any of that, he was over it, he’d hang up and go meet with Judy, Ben and Macario.

"Look, I don't have time to-"

"Nick, listen to me." The insistence of the Mafioso was well known, things usually went the way he wanted, especially when it was himself taking care of things. He was in part responsible for Nick’s current life; he thought that at the bare minimum he deserved to be heard.

"..." The fox could have finished that call right then, but something didn’t let him; maybe curiosity, maybe the fact that he was without a debt thanks to the older mammal, or maybe he did want to listen to whatever he had to say. Would he believe it? That’s a different story.

"You know how I work, I know what you've been up to-" Oh, Nick didn’t doubt that; that call wasn’t a coincidence.

"Mr. Big-"

"If I wanted you dead, you'd already be." Such sharp statement got the undivided attention of the younger. Mr. Big wasn’t a bad strategist, he wouldn’t leave any loose end roam around for no reason; if Nick was a real threat to him or his affairs he’d be sleeping with the fish, yet the arctic shrew did the opposite. His apartment, his lack of problems whether they were with justice or with the Treasury, the fact that he was still alive… there had to be a big motive behind that; a connection beyond any business they could had started to make sense.

"...where are you going with this?"

"Let me tell you a story. Growing up my grandmama taught me something: if you have a chance to do something, take it. That's what I've done all my life, that's what brought me where I am now. Your kind and I have something in common; bigger mammals look down on us. They looked down on me, they looked down on your father-" Not this again… what was his relation with Charles, anyway?

"What do you know about him? About my father?" Nick sounded a bit too eager there, but he couldn’t help himself; the tension of the moment plus his caffeine rush and legitimate curiosity led him to spit his questions without any restraint. 

"Nicky, you know you must not interrupt me."

"...sorry." He’d let the shrew speak; it was a pot of bitter broth he was stirring, but the fox found himself invested in what the other had to say, if still reticent to believe his every word.

"Your father and I met by accident. He asked my uncle for a loan, but instead he was given a job; I used to own a humble tuxedo shop, and he was a good tailor. We worked together and we became good friends, I even considered him part of my family. As time passed, mammals ignored what species we were and came to us because we knew how to do our job. Then I had the chance to move on to bigger things, and I took it; I asked your father to join me but he said no. He told me he wanted to succeed in his own way. I can respect that, an independent mammal that wants to make his accomplishments his own... but what I thought was - orgoglio, how is it - ah, pride, was actually foolishness. We parted ways, but that didn't mean we weren't friends anymore; I cared about him, and about Veronica... then one day, he changed. I heard he mixed with bad company, he started pushing me away but I always wanted to help him, and by the time you were born, he didn't want to see me anymore."

Okay. Okay, yes. So… uh, his father and Big used to work together. Okay. And he was a good tailor, fine; oh, and the Mafioso knew his mother too. Great, yes. The vulpine needed a moment to assimilate the new information, but he had a new question; why didn’t he tell him any of that before?

"You still with me, Nicky?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'm listening..." He’d pose his inquiries later; it seemed the sorex wasn’t done.

"Good, good... by then I had already seen what happened to mammals like him... he thought he was doing the right thing, but I can assure you he wasn't; it was a pity, really, seeing someone so promising getting lost like that."

That was a good chance to interject. "You mean his addiction?"

"It's... complicated, Nicky." He didn't have to tell every single detail, Nick didn't need to know; if knowing that was enough for the fox, he wouldn’t explain much more. "Your mama was dragged too, they had debts, they- I heard your father had something to do with what you'd call the black market."

"God..." Nick muttered to himself; just what kind of mammals were his parents?

"The point is, I wouldn't let that happen to you; I couldn't do much when you were a kit, but I prayed for you. My Fru Fru was a baby too, and every night she woke me and my mogl- my... wife with her cries, I thought about you. I didn't even know if you were alive, but I prayed for you." The shrew took a moment to recuperate his respiration; so far his monologue only had paused because of Nick, and his breath faltered for an instant when he mentioned his wife. It was all the same for the fox, at that point he needed to know where that conversation was going; if anything, it justified his feelings toward his parents, and probably toward his kin too.

"Where I come from, life is only another valuta."

"Another what?"

"Moneta - currency, means to get something you want... I feared that your parents would go as far as to trade your life for something they didn't need... no child deserves that."

Nick's jaw clenched involuntarily. He could feel goosebumps as tiny spikes pushing his fur outwards from inside, and his eyes, which he had closed during most of their exchange after reaching his home, opened abruptly, revealing two tiny black dots drowning in green, trembling just as the rest of his body did; his caffeine-powered imagination wanted to take him to the kind of scenarios that could have happened if they ever sold him. Fuck… it was terrifying… just imagine being a slave for one of _those_ foxes… "I see..."

"That's why when I heard you dropped out of school I got so happy; your education was important, but knowing you were alive was more than that. When they told me there was a fox roaming my streets, I was curious; and when I found out it was you, I wanted to meet you. I couldn't, the situation didn't let me, but ever since I had eyes on you." That was ominous, but not as worrying to Nick; Mr. Big had eyes on everyone.

“You had people following me?”

“No, but mammals that surrounded you were willing to do things for me. I was… busier back then.”

"And that guy I met at the hospital? The one that told me to go pay you a visit?" It couldn’t be a coincidence; he tried to kill himself and a guy just happened to be there ready to offer him a new job? For the then upcoming underground leader no less?

"Collateral damage, Nicky; Alfredo was - come se... entu - enthusiastic, but too stubborn. I heard you weren't doing too well and I needed an excuse to meet you, to help you. He shot himself just so he could deliver that message."

"Damn... I should thank him..." It was undeniable, that was some dedication.

"He's been behind bars for a while now, he keeps picking fights, but I'll send him your regards." The rest was history; Nick started working for him, he sold him the rug that broke their partnership, yadda yadda. The arctic shrew seemed to be done, he could finally ask what he really wanted to know.

"So what you mean with this-?"

"What I mean is that I care for you Nicky; I've loved you like a son, I know you're better than your father, and I want to give you another chance." Better than his father… that wasn’t hard to do.

"You want me to work for you again?"

"No, I want you to work for yourself."

"What do you mean?" He wanted Nick to start his own mafia? Because those days were over for the former con artist, and he wasn’t fond of the violence that he learnt was common in such business.

"I told you foxes are leaving their territory; my men have been keeping an eye on them and most of them behave like regular mammals. They're scared to let the rest see them; they know many have things against them, but what they don't understand is that they didn't choose to be foxes." That was… unexpected; since when was Mr. Big interested in mammal rights?

"What would I have to do?"

"You'd have to speak on their behalf; if the first fox that joined the forces supports the insertion of the rest of his kind, if he offers them his help and proves they deserve to be treated as any other mammal would, that fox in due time could own this city."

Nick didn’t want that, he was happy with his current life; but unlike the last time they talked, the ex-officer was more dubious. "I don't know..." He had learnt… shit, a lot of things he could’ve gone without knowing, things that almost made him appreciate the kindness of the Mafioso. That offer clashed with his principles and ideas, he didn’t think too highly of his own kind, but he couldn’t say no right away. It was… too much.

"If that doesn't convince you, just think about how you've been treated for being what you are. Wouldn't you want that to stop? To never happen again? To be accepted just like a wolf or an otter would?"

"I... I have to think about it." It wasn’t so simple; not every fox is the same, not every fox is good, not every fox is bad, not every fox is-

"Nicky, I know firsthand that foxes aren’t bad, don't let anyone think they are; think about what you've been through... think about what your life would have been like if the rest didn't believe you were scum just because you have a big tail. You're good with words, you'd just have to-" He had already thought about that; he had spent years thinking about it, and he wasn’t going back to those days.

"Why are you so insistent?!"

"Because I don't like injustices! Not so long ago, Little Rodentia was a ghetto too. I'm offering you the chance to change many, many lives." Nick didn’t want that.

"Can we... can we talk some other time? I have something to do right now..." He still had to go have that coffee or whatever with Judy and the guys. It would either improve his suddenly crushed mood, or he could die on his way there; both options were good.

"Okay Nicky, but I'm hoping you say yes; I've already made a few investments."

"It’s not an easy choice...” Going against his own ethos for some strangers he just happened to share species with? It really wasn’t something he could agree to lightly. “Hey, Mr. Big, one last thing?"

"Yes?"

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner?”

“I didn’t think it was necessary, but you met your father and… his death has brought the spirit of change. Just like I am for mine, he was important for his people.” He was like the fence that kept them in their territory or something, wasn’t he?

"How did he die?"

"...overdose, Nicky. It was a matter of time, better than the alternative, he had many enemies." At least Nick could rest knowing he didn’t kill him. Directly, perhaps his visit had something to do, but- fuck, no, he couldn’t care about that. No, no; he didn’t care when it happened, he wouldn’t care then.

"And my mom?" If the Mafioso knew her too, he could have some information on her whereabouts or her heartbeats. What would Nick do with it? Only he knew, but seeing her again didn’t feel… right. He had spent his entire life thinking it was him who betrayed her, yet the truth was another; Veronica wasn’t the poor single mother that had spent years and years missing her rebellious son – fuck, no, he wasn’t about to care about her either. He was curious, that’s it.

"I don't know; I heard she left the city."

"Alright, thank you." What, you think maybe he was feeling guilty? Not at all, it was the opposite; Veronica and Charles were too alike, and if he didn’t want to have anything to do with one, why would he with the other? The information he had received did but validate what he felt, and it also made harder agreeing to Mr. Big’s offer; was their behavior a fox thing, or was it something exclusive to his parents? He had been to their district, and even if it wasn’t a humble thing to do, he guessed that he was the odd one; Nick didn’t like living in poverty, in constant fear, surrounded by violence… and Gideon didn’t either, he was another exception. How different could the rest of foxes be?

"And Nicky, come visit soon; you gotta see how big little Judy's getting."

"Sure thing."

And that’s all he said. Nick would find out soon enough what Mr. Big’s intentions were, trusting the arctic shrew often wasn’t the smartest thing to do; even if apparently he wanted the best for the vulpine kind because of what happened to his parents, and if the Mafioso had been secretly worried about Nick, something in the back of his head told him there was more to it, something he was missing...

“Fuck…” Well, maybe that conversation had depleted his energy, but he still had to go have breakfast with his friends. “…if I’m lucky Bogo will punch me to death.” Lovely and cheerful.

[You don’t know how much I’m missing you right now, Gid] <\- 09:18

 

* * *

 

“Nick!” The first thing the fox noticed about the trio was their looks; none of them was wearing their uniform. “How have you been?!” The second was Clawhauser’s excited voice and his tight bear hug as soon as he entered the cafeteria; boy, he was strong. "How did it go? Did you have a romantic week? Did you bang in the train?" And third, once he could breathe again, were Bogo’s and Judy’s tired expressions. Did they spend the entire weekend working?

He’d ask later, now he was the asked one, and he had never been gladder for Ben’s indiscretion; playing with the chubbier predator and talking about his Gideon would take some of the newfound stress away. Before speaking, he cleared his throat and grinned just like the cheetah did, mocking his excitement without real malice as they walked towards the table the other two enforcers of the law seated at.

"Oh, it's been delightful! First he rammed me raw once in every car of the train, then we said we wanted something more, went to Vegas, got married, adopted one of those super cute baby zebras, argued about how to raise him, divorced, came back together not without hours of hot, steamy, dirty, muddy, greasy sex and forgot about our child who understandably was traumatized, and-" Reaching the table meant the end of their fun; Judy heard every word the fox said and she felt compelled to interject and put an end to it.

"Nick, we get it." The rabbit looked legitimately peeved, and his former boss didn’t look too happy either – he couldn’t tell, reading his face was a difficult task - but the receptionist cop was getting into it.

"Don’t listen to her, keep going." You know as well as I do Nick loved some jokes, but if Judy’s droopy ears were any indication, the mood wasn’t the best; he’d have to keep it short and casual.

"Ben, he's been working and I binge watching shows I didn't know existed. Nothing special." Hey, being friends doesn't mean you have to reveal your real intimacies. It was Gideon and Nick's thing, and knowing Clawhauser, he'd probably die of lack of oxygen if he heard the actual story. A mammal can only gasp and scream so much... but there were more mammals there, and he had to address them as well.

“So, what are you guys doing here?” When Nick asked the buffalo and the cheetah looked at each other and then at Judy, who refused to look directly at any of them. It was Bogo who questioned the grimacing rabbit, and by the tone of his voice the fox could tell he was... angry? Nonchalant? Really, reading that guy was hard.

“You didn’t tell him?”

Judy just sighed; she didn’t feel like talking about whatever happened.

“We quit.” So Benjamin took it upon himself to inform the slimmer predator about what they had been up to. “I mean, we were gonna get penalized or maybe fired if we refused, so I guess it’s half and half? We… _quired_.” The cheetah sounded so much more comfortable and casu- **wait, what?!**

“You what?! Why?” Were they serious? At least they looked serious… except for Clawhauser, he didn’t seem that affected. But they made Nick yell in a public place, and if it was a joke, they were great actors; no, but really, what the-

“Keep it down.” It was the buffalo’s warning that stopped the former con artist from going full **_‘WHAT HAPPENED?! ANSWER ME!’_** What bothered him the most was that Judy even refused to tell him she was unemployed; fuck, so much for a best friend... he knew her, and if she had lost her dream job she wouldn’t be laughing and cracking jokes, but - did he have the right to be mad? He didn’t care; his previous conversation made him feel impotent enough already, and now this... shit, were they okay? Why did the three of them quit?

“Can someone _please_ tell me what’s happening?” Through gritted teeth he asked, and with a full mouth he received an answer; Ben offered himself to explain the events that occurred while he was away.

“Gif’ me a fec’.” He had to swallow first, though; maybe he wasn’t a cop anymore, but he still ate like one.

The story was… convoluted.

“You know Macky had his differences with the mayor.”

“I do, yeah.”

“You know where those came from?”

“No, your Macky and I haven’t talked that much.” Hearing Nick say that name made Bogo miss his gun, if only for the instant he pronounced it. That didn’t feel right, only his Benny could call him that; on the other hoof, he didn’t care about the differences part. It was true he didn’t get along with the official, and it was a risk given that Robert Clearfangs was basically his direct superior; he could fire the buffalo without any previous warning.

“Well, he had some strange requests, like the day you quit he made the chief of police send his men to a district that wasn’t even part of their jurisdiction, or when he forced him to withhold public information about perps from the citizens.” Bogo commented that at least Lionheart left him do his job properly, and Clawhauser agreed since his favorite bovine had been more stressed after Clearfangs was elected. “But last Thursday things got freaky.”

Benjamin took a sip of whatever he was drinking and looked at Nick with one of the most solemn expressions he had seen on the cheetah; it felt so unnatural not seeing any trace of a smile on his face… and the tension he was building didn’t help either. He just wanted to know why his friends weren’t cops anymore, it would have sufficed with a ‘we didn’t like the blue anymore,’ but Clawhauser wanted him to know the whole truth because it affected him too.

“Now, Nick…” His serious voice was deeper than the one the fox was used to, and unnerving too given it wasn’t of common use. What was he supposed to expect? A terminal illness?

“…this is about foxes.”

“I am that.”

“Bad things involving foxes.” That was it? Fuck, he got the vulpine worried for a moment; _‘bad things involving foxes’_ was a pleonasm, a given, nothing extraordinary.

"Ben, you could say you wish all foxes got shot and I'd agree..." Gideon was a fox too. "...mostly. Don't beat around the bush, I won't cry." If they did in fact get shot he wouldn’t have to go see Mr. Big, and he wouldn’t hate that.

The cheetah was taken aback; he had no idea Nick had such thoughts about his own kin. Although, in that context, it almost made things easier.

“Alright…”

Last Thursday, by the time the trio and the rest of officers arrived at the ZPD station, they had some visitors waiting for them; it was none other than the mayor himself, along with a group of bodyguards and some kind of representative, like a weasel spokesmammal. Once everyone entered the building, the entrance was locked and a search was performed on every animal there; once they made sure the law enforcers weren’t carrying anything that could be considered unsafe or incriminating, they were forced to turn off every surveillance device they could have. None of what was about to be said could leave the station, and no one could get in or get out until the hijackers allowed them to.

They had a few requests – no, not requests; direct orders. To put it simply, more and more foxes were appearing in the city, and the mayor wanted them to lie; did he want the cops to incriminate them so they could be sent to jail? No, quite the opposite; he wanted the vulpines to appear as innocent as possible.

In the short span they had been roaming the main districts of the capital, some of them had gotten in trouble; mammals were reporting them, five had gotten caught doing one illegal activity or another, and two got killed by other citizens in self-defense. As far as the officers knew, the ones they had heard of weren’t free of sin; _dangerous_ was the most appropriate word to define them. The orders they received were clear; they had to destroy every document that contained any information about the vulpines, free and then execute the ones behind bars, and if they were asked about foxes at all the only thing they would respond was that they only knew about their ex-colleague Nick Wilde, who had left the force to pursue more fulfilling endeavors.

“That’s not exactly a lie… but so far the whole thing is really messed up.”

“Can I keep going?”

“Sure.”

In essence, Clearfangs wanted to turn the minority of canine perpetrators into victims, he didn’t want records of any illegal activity they might have committed to exist, and he wanted their past, present, and future deeds and deaths to be ignored by the police; when Bogo asked the wolf about the reasons behind those insane commands he wouldn’t respond, he just said it was the best for the city. Of course, the buffalo refused to comply; he cared about his men, he knew the kind of reputation such irresponsibility would bring them, and everything he was intended to do was illegal. Foxes or not the law was the same for everyone; he couldn’t just kill them because the mayor wanted him to, and turning them into martyrs couldn’t be beneficial for Zootopia. If anything, it would make citizens feel more insecure.

“The mayor wanted perps to look innocent?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“By killing them?”

“It’s one of those _‘the punishment is bigger than the crime’_ situations, but here the crime is erased and the punishment is death, and if no one knew why they were murdered...”

“People would start thinking there’s a serial killer?”

“Probably, but many mammals dislike foxes.”

“Then?”

“We don’t really know; my theory is that the mayor hates your kind and he just wanted paws willing to kill them. If there’s no intel on them and no one knows them, their deaths only mean more meat in the morgue.”

“And people wouldn’t wonder who did it?”

“Nick… you know what’s the popular opinion on your species.”

“Right…”

After a heated argument, Macario said he wouldn’t do any of what Clearfangs said, and before the wolf had the chance to fire him, the then chief of police grabbed his badge and tossed it at the mayor. He was there because he believed in justice, and even if his sense of such concept had faltered at times, he wouldn’t become anyone’s puppet. Then the weasel that acted as a spokesmammal gave the rest of officers some documents; contracts that’d allow them to receive twice their salary every month if they accepted to keep the secret, aside from other favors they’d be apt to ask for if they proved to be trustworthy to the mayor.

“He wanted to buy you?”

“He wanted to enslave us; if we didn’t agree to his conditions we would be penalized, and if we did and then broke the contract we’d be fired. I’m not big into legislation but I’m sure a mayor can’t do that… and he wanted to kill some foxes that were caught stealing or in possession of drugs for whatever crazy reason, what do you think he would have done to us?”

“God, now I know why you got out of there.”

You couldn’t entirely blame some of the mammals that accepted; they needed the money, they had families to feed even if they knew they were doing something wrong. Some others had different motives such as greed, fear of getting on the mayor’s bad side, or simply being granted the freedom to impose their own law. Judy Hopps and Benjamin Clawhauser were exceptions, and given that what the mayor imposed went against what made them join the ZPD in the first place, they had no reason to stay there. Ben wouldn’t be anyone’s puppet either, and if Bogo was leaving too, what was there for him to do?

Judy took a harder blow; she had learnt the planet was crooked, that there were many problems that’d never be solved because some important mammals didn’t want that to happen, but being forced directly to choose between her beliefs and someone else’s was… rough; it wasn’t only a matter of opinions, it’s what those opinions implied, what would make her do.

She quit her dream job because it would force her to act against the justice she believed in; in a way it reminded her of the Night Howlers case. Back then she left the force because she didn’t feel like she deserved the praise she was getting, back then she felt like she was to blame for what happened, back then Bogo told her the world was broken and that’s why they needed good cops… but there’d be no more good cops; they either had to quit or become bad cops. Foxes were the smallest minority in Zootopia, but what did that change? Maybe it was due to her relationship with two of them, maybe – fuck, not even her old prejudices could compare with that.

Killing them and making them look like victims? That’s how you protect and serve a city?

“And that’s why we’re here today.”

The mayor had to choose a new chief of police, but that’s all they knew.

Sitting through all that was an experience, but it prompted a new thought in Nick’s brain; were the deaths of those foxes what made Mr. Big ask him to speak on their behalf? It made sense; even if cops weren’t allowed to say a word about what happened, at least part of the media surely knew about their killings. His guess was proven right when Clawhauser lent him his phone and let him read what they had to say about it.

Conservative sources claimed foxes were dangerous, that their deaths were deserved and surely it was their own species who killed them, and that if anything they were a benefit for the city; progressive ones said they were victims of the rampant hate towards them, that there was no evidence that supported they were killed for any valid reason, and that they’d go extinct if no one did anything to improve their environment and help them survive. He didn’t know how much attention they were getting, but since they were polar opposites whoever decided to support one or another would find themselves with a bunch of new enemies. Still, what surprised him the most is that some mammals were defending the foxkin; like… why?

“Some say your kind shouldn’t exist, and some others say you must be protected.”

One extreme had vulpines as their target, and attacking them would fuel the other’s fire; so far all threats had been done on the internet and it was a local and somewhat isolated thing, but social media was getting heated. More traditional and common media hadn’t covered it yet, probably because – well, they’re foxes – and it wasn’t being promoted publicly. The articles the cheetah showed Nick were rather obscure, but if someone found out about the mayor’s doings or the whole thing kept growing in popularity, the consequences could reach the entire state, or maybe even the nation.

Perhaps that was the mayor’s plan, making the police look incompetent and cause outrage. Why? Who knows… there’s a chance it was some kind of political tactic. Another alternative was that he wanted foxes to be eradicated, but there were other ways of doing that; deleting their criminal records was counterproductive. For example, justifying their deaths using them as an excuse would make things simpler.

However, who could say Clearfangs hadn’t blackmailed and silenced other institutions? The four mammals seated at that table could try and use social media themselves to bring him to justice, but yelling ‘THE MAYOR ORDERED TO KILL THE FOXES SO THEY WOULD BE SEEN AS VICTIMS’ on the internet without any evidence or solid theory could make them look… bad. And besides, except for Clawhauser, they didn’t use them much.

The only true neutral take was in the police reports that probably wouldn’t even exist anymore.

“The city is all kinds of fucked up, Nick.” Whoa there; sure, the situation was sticky to say the least, but Clawhauser cussing? That was going too far. “After what happened some mammals wanna go to the foxes’ district and… well, that thing you said about shooting them, and some others have started campaigns to make it part of Zootopia again.”

“It isn’t?” He was referring to the badlands, right? That ravaged place Charles lived in?

“Not exactly; the- Macky, what was the district’s name?”

Nick remembered that report, so he replied to Ben’s question instead. “Nocturnal Haven.”

All Bogo could do was shrug and say “he’s right.” He thought Nick was probably born there, why wouldn’t he know it?

“Well, there. Turns out that’s sovereign land; even if we were still cops we’d have no jurisdiction.” So when he went to meet his father he actually left the city… interesting, to say the least. “Now that people are digging deeper into what foxes have been up to they’ve found out the kind of shady business happening there.”

“Drugs?” Nick sounded casual but he knew what he was talking about; well, partially. Mr. Big said Charles was in some shit that had to do with the black market and all the former con artist knew about that was the name of some providers, so surely there’d be more to it.

“Drugs, and murder, and even politics… let’s say that if Bellwether and Lionheart did the whole turning preds savage thing there, we couldn’t have done a thing.”

“Really? Nothing?” Experimenting on living, breathing mammals and turning them in wild creatures wasn’t a crime against the animal kingdom where his dad lived? Even they had to have a sense of morality.

It was Bogo who replied next, allowing Clawhauser to take a break; his mouth was going dry, and even if he liked to talk, he preferred more entertaining topics. “Nothing; sovereign lands are exempt of many of our laws. What you may know as the badlands today used to be a sacred place for all kinds of predators, then Zootopia came to be and your kin didn’t like it; they did whatever meant necessary to stay there and keep that place for themselves.” His tone wasn’t accusatory; given that Nick was a fox and that his species was in the spotlight at the time for less than favorable reasons, you could imagine he’d hold some type of grudge against the officer that deserted them. However, when he referred to the foxkin he almost sounded compassionate; he had nothing against Nick, and he knew he had nothing to do with what happened. If anything, he disliked that someone he considered as a friend or at the bare minimum a close acquaintance could get harassed for problems he wasn’t involved in.

“We had heard rumors, I even went there myself once when I was younger, but I didn’t dare explore much. Turns out it’s a cesspool of crime and everyone is welcome; some names are coming to light, popular and important names, and it’s a matter of time before something more drastic happens.”

Nick had seen the state of it; maybe it was some kind of sanctuary at some point, but today it was a literal hellhole. If he thought about it, that was a predator-exclusive place, just like the theme park he once wanted to build; would the same have happened to it? Was it such a dangerous idea? Could his species have ruined his former dream? Taking into consideration how things were, maybe settling for Judy’s life goal for a while had been for the best.

“Shit… I really was born under a black star.”

Clawhauser had to agree on that; he didn’t know that much about Nick’s past, but given how he sounded when he talked about his kind, the cheetah could guess that meeting Judy and Gideon was the best luck he had ever had. Both were cute, and as far as he was concerned his best friends… and lover? He might go back to that later. “The problem is – you know what? Everything. Mammals try to protect your kind, try to eradicate it, we’re unemployed, we’ve spent the entire weekend researching all this, this mayor is as crooked as the rest, my knee’s been hurting again, and this time Gazelle isn’t coming to tell citizens to get along.” Turns out Benjamin was actually afflicted by those events; he sounded specially exasperated by the last thing he said, but aside from his personal feelings towards the singer, having a celebrity saying she didn’t like Zootopians being divided did help last time that happened… and they got a free concert out of it.

“God, maybe I should’ve stayed in Bunny Burrows…” It wasn’t necessarily Nick’s fault, but perhaps if he never moved from Gideon’s place it would’ve never happened? He was happier on that cloud of warmth and fur, ignorant to the real world, and as soon as he stepped back into it… poof, he found himself at a crossroads and about to be run over from all sides.

“I can’t believe you just said that.” Judy said that! She was finally raising her voice! “But it’s a good thing you and Gideon left; it’s better if you stay under the radar, and spending the weekend with these two has been enough.” She sounded bitterer than usual, but he’d take what he could get; besides, he knew she was strong. After that visit to the lowest part of the dumps she’d come back, she’d grab the mayor by the balls, and she’d rip them out; Judy Hopps never gave up, did she?

“I can do that.” Nick found himself smiling as he pronounced his reply; at least she didn’t look as devastated. And about what she said, not standing out was his specialty; now that he lived a different life all he had to do was avoid crowded places... unless he accepted Mr. Big’s offer, but that wasn’t his main priority. “And what do you mean these two? You stop being a cop and you don’t respect your boss anymore?” Yes, nothing like a little unemployment humor to cheer the crowd.

“I was at Mack- _Bogo’s_ place looking up all this stuff, and without the uniform he’s as shameless as they come.” So that was the real reason why she left his place… research and nudity…

“And I know how to make him do that.” Clawhauser felt compelled to add that, further befuddling the fox. Did they- did they do it in front of her? She had seen Gideon and Nick kissing and she found it too obscene; what boundaries did the other couple have?

Nick looked at Bogo in hopes of finding an answer; was Judy’s mood caused by the mayor’s actions alone or did the cheetah and the buffalo have something to do with that too? “…anything you wanna add, chief?”

“My house, my rules.”

“Right…” Stoic as ever.

Judy began rocking back and forth, staring at the paper cup before her with her eyes wide open and a dead expression on her face as she chanted to herself like a traumatized child. “It reaches the knee, Nick; the knee… it was there, hanging… down to the knee… how… how can it fit-”

**_Okay, okay, that was enough. Please let’s talk about killing foxes again._ **

"So it's been only you guys leaving?"

Bogo decided to answer the question directed at no one in particular; he was there too when the mayor showed up, and he remember certain specific details, like the insults that were hurled the official’s way or who almost got killed. "Not exactly... you know Fisher has a short temper, right?"

Fisher, Fisher... wasn’t that the asshole bear that liked to terrorize rowdy teenagers? If he was who Nick thought he was, the guy could be called a cub predator, but instead of his dick he whipped out his stun gun the first chance he got. Not someone Nick had talked much to for obvious reasons.

"Yeah, I think so."

"When the representative said it'd be best not to disclose the truth and to - well, lie because the mayor said so - he refused; the weasel insisted and as soon as he finished saying foxkin Fisher had him by the neck, ten feet above the ground.” Either he had a strong sense of honor and justice, or he didn’t want to do anything that could remotely benefit foxes no matter how sick and twisted it was. Or maybe… he liked foxes? Nick couldn’t tell, the bear never tried to actively befriend him. “He's been kicked, now awaiting trial."

"I can't say I'm surprised.” At the very least he wasn’t part of the… what could Nick call that? _‘Genocidal salvation?’_ Even he thought that shit was wrong; he didn’t care about whatever his kind did as long as that didn’t affect him. That was all, he wanted to live his life… god damn it, every time he thought about it Mr. Big’s offer came to mind; but his friends’ problems came before his species’.

“Have you filled a claim, impeached the mayor, talked to your representatives or whatever you gotta do in these cases?"

"Yeah, but we've been discredited; they're saying we're crooked cops, not to be trusted, not a priority. We have an appointment for next month, but it doesn't look too good."

“Can you clean your name? Do you need a lawyer? A place to stay?” Nick was already imagining the worst case scenarios, and they looked too much like his homeless days; was society going to reject them? Would they become outcasts that had to eat from the trash to survive?

“Nick, we’ll manage, don’t worry.”

He _was worried_ , he cared about them, and he didn’t want them to go through the same shit he did; he’d do anything he could to stop that from happening. "No, listen to me; if you need money or anything please tell me." Was he that caring before meeting Gideon? He couldn’t know, it was the first time something like that happened; giving money to his mother after he put an end to his not so legal career didn’t count, that was out of guilt.

Judy said she'd be okay; she saved most of the money she made anyway, her family didn't need help, and if things got too ugly she’d tell her parents the truth and would go back to the Burrows. She’d keep it a secret for as long as she could; it was… humiliating and shameful, not only to her, but to anyone who believed in fairness.

Bogo and Ben had savings too, plus an extra Clawhauser received every month after getting shot. He was legally disabled because of his metal knee: he had pains from time to time, his movement was limited, and he’d need to get a new one in a few years, but overall the cheetah’s optimistic demeanor didn’t let that bring him down.

"Okay, but if you need anything, I’m here." The fox was somewhat relieved after hearing they would be able to stay alive, but his own experience wouldn’t let him rest that easily. Add that to his dying caffeine rush and the adrenaline of hearing what had happened during his absence, and his state wouldn’t be too different from the one he was in after his exchange with Mr. Big. God, his entire morning had revolved around foxes…

"We’ll keep it in mind, Nick. Thank you."

Macario Bogo paid close attention to Nick’s reaction; for once he wasn’t acting, he was genuinely concerned about their wellbeing, and if the sarcastic one of the bunch got pessimistic as well they were doomed. "What's up, Nick? Feeling guilty for leaving us?" His tone and smirk told him he was joking, and who'd have said his taciturn and serious ex-boss would be the one trying to cheer things up? He had a sense of humor too, if he remembered correctly, but his timing was a little off.

"No, but I wouldn't want you two going through the pains of showering together and all that." Nick too knew he had to calm down, and he could appreciate the buffalo’s attempt at improving the general mood. Man, city life sure was stressing.

Clawhauser joined in on their little chitchat with an exaggerated "oh no, Macky, can you imagine? Us, having to shower or even live together?"

"Sounds like the suffering of this weekend." And the couple complemented really well; they even finished each other’s jokes.

“Please not again.” They could even traumatize Judy in just one weekend and without any help! He had to remind himself to ask her about what Bogo’s place was like… he was sure he had a room where he bench-pressed Clawhauser and kept on feeding him so he could lift more. Also maybe the fox needed a nap.

The good thing about not being coworkers anymore is that the buffalo and the cheetah could focus on their relationship without so much secrecy after being dating for… a year and a half? A decade? Whatever, they had something enviable going on. Judy had been there too, but they were close friends, they assumed she wouldn’t mind acting less officer-y in front of her and that she’d keep the secret; she would, but if she had reached that level of friendship with them, she had the right to complain and be traumatized in exchange.

The two males were trying out living together for the first time, and so far, they had made the most of it. Sure, they missed their jobs, they had spent most of that time looking at books and screens, and many things didn't look too good, but they could finally live as a couple, more or less. If it worked out, they were thinking of moving in together and Ben of getting rid of his apartment. If Judy’s scarring was any indication, they were doing great in that field.

"Good for you, guys. I hope it works out." Nick had been there not so long ago, perhaps still was, but it was nice knowing someone else was enjoying a little romance. Wasn’t that sensation the best?

Once again, Bogo replied to his genuine statement with the fake malice that usually characterized the fox. "Is it working out for you?" Get it? Because he had left to be with Gideon? The buffalo needed improv classes.

But Nick hadn’t lost his Nick-ness; he had been using it less, yet he was still capable of pulling out his inner sharp, sly tongue. Half lidded eyes, smug and secure grin, looking straight at the other’s peepers; it was coming.

"Like the ending of every Giraniffer Aniston movie." That… sounded so much better in his head; god, that was bad banter.

However, Macario understood the response perfectly; turns out he and Nick shared guilty pleasures. But don’t tell anybody, only Clawhauser knew that. "In Oldie-weds she ends up eating a sandwich alone in an airport bathroom. Do you need counseling, Wilde?"

Nick ignored that reply, there was something more important implicit in it. What’s better than comparing their romantic comedy knowledge to take the edge off their original conversation? Pretty much everything, but they didn’t have many options. Still, it helped the fox see his former boss under a new light; who’d have said the buffalo liked and felt things? Incredible.

 

* * *

 

The group left right before midday; Bogo and Clawhauser had plans, and Judy and Nick could use some rest as well. The couple bid their farewell from the buffalo’s car and the fox and the bunny decided to walk home; they weren’t too far from their apartments and they always had interesting conversations when they were alone. If anyone had a chance to cheer her up, it was Nick.

“So you’ve spent the weekend with Macky and Benny?” Referring to his ex-colleagues in such manner - even if it was jokingly - sounded so preppy and disgusting; okay, they came from having brunch with them and he had learnt a couple personal things about the duo, but he didn’t want to be spit roasted by a buffalo and a cheetah. Oh, he should come up with new nicknames for them…

“Do you really want to know about that? Because I spent my first four hours there crying before accepting the world is a cold, rotten place.” God, Judy didn’t sound like Judy; she sounded like he did when he was fifteen. _‘Yeah dude everything sucks’_ wasn’t a valid response, they were adults and adults… I don’t know, got married sometimes?

"Look at the bright side, Cottontail; now you can get in the dating business too." That didn’t help, the rabbit looked at him in absolute repugnance and her face twisted and wrinkled as if she had just licked the sourest of lemons. What was she into, anyway? Would a good dicking help her, or would a good… _pussying_ work better? Perhaps she preferred a wholesome and completely nonsexual experience with someone she had a connection with? Because that was harder, dating apps aren’t magic.

"Yeah, I'm sure a boyfriend can replace having the dream of my life taken away from me for sticking to justice." Nick thought about starting a debate about the concept of justice, but she didn’t look like she was in the mood for more self-questioning. Her ears were droopy, her feet dragging, and he hadn’t heard her voice change the few times she spoke; she sounded monotone and bored, and that was what he wanted to change.

"It worked for me."

"Really? Are you admitting you left because of Gideon?" Hey, she showed some interest there! Alright, he could try talking about himself and the baker if that kept her thoughts away from her recent unemployment.

"No, that’s a long story; let’s say losing the coffee machine in the break room was a deal breaker.”

“You did fall asleep in the car a few times.”

“I did, but then you set us up and-“

"Oh, please, not this again." That was his chance; turn that annoyance into laughter, Wilde, come on.

"Don't let your nose twitch just yet, bunny rabbit; I'm not complaining. Did you know Gideon is a rapper?"

"Sure."

"And a great one at that."

"Uh-huh." Well, she was indifferent… he’d have to try harder.

"It's crazy because it's been like fifteen years since he last heard a song from another mammal, I think he's one of those gifted children or something." Did you know that if you tell an unbelievable truth in the most honest of manners people will think you're joking? Nick did, and his history of sarcastic humor preceded him, which added to the bunny's assumed-to-be-true knowledge about the baker explained her lack of interest and incredulity.

_'And I'm a flying lion that sweats ranch dressing.'_ Sure, Gideon with his stutter, his softy looks, his pink apron and his... limited lexical abilities was all about the hood and - _he called the baker a gifted child, right?_ \- maybe proving string theory with croissants? Of course he was, yep, he had been all along. 

"You sure like him, huh?" Nick made her go from sad to condescending… fuck it, he ignored her tone and finished his tirade of honesty. 

"Me? Gideon? Nah, maybe just a little bit." Hey, that wasn't exactly a lie; she chose the wrong verb starting with an L.

And there they were, the bifurcation that led to their apartments; Judy was ready to go home, but the fox thought that spending some time together could be for the best.

"You wanna come over? I have… lots of frozen things. To eat, I mean." However, the rabbit had reasons not to accept his offer.

"I'd say yes, but no matter how many windows I opened everything reeked of... _fox love_. And knowing how things are, I’m afraid a protest can start around you any moment now."

"Come on, Jude, I bet we can get you a gas mask or somethi-" Nick had gotten used to having good company, and he'd avoid being alone if he could; he knew he was going to miss Gideon and think a little too much about what he learnt that day as soon as he were by himself. Besides, Judy was still his best friend - well, second best; Gideon took that position too. Still, he was sure she'd like some company too. Although...

"Did you just call me Jude?"

"Yes?" Oh, she didn't like that.

"Try not to get killed." She turned ready to leave, apparently angered and holding back her true feelings, but before doing so she looked at Nick with what could be called an evil grin. You could call it that, but on her face it was more of an extra toothy genuine smile. "See you around, Gideon." And left, not looking back once and stomping away like a businesswoman on her way to fire someone. Had the fox succeeded in his attempt at improving her mood? Probably, anger was still better than sorrow, right?

Besides, Nick couldn't take what she said as an insult; sometimes he wished he could be more like his Gid, but he understood what she implied and deep inside he felt something he repressed: the urge to call her a bitch. Well, given what time it was he still had to wait one hour or so before he could call the aforementioned vulpine; he’d be done with work by then. Now… how could he kill some time without worrying about being murdered by an ex-coworker because the mayor said so or about representing a group he was involuntarily part of and didn’t hold in high regard?

He tried unpacking his suitcase, which helped him for one minute; he just unzipped it and dumped its contents in front of his washing machine. That was an issue for later. The only friend he could pester with texts at that time was Finnick, but even he said he was ‘ _working’_ and would be for a few days; Nick was running out of options. He had videogames, but he couldn’t find any entertainment in sitting there alone getting killed time and time again by giant squids; the only other time he had played was when Gideon was there and he kept reminiscing about their time together. Fuck, that’s what a long distance relationship felt like?

Twenty more minutes until he could call the baker and sleepiness was starting to set in. Well, screw it, he’d give in to one of the threatening thoughts roaming his mind; was he going to die? Sleep-deprivation spoke for him: _‘I don’t have a badge anymore, but I’m still a trained professional; if I see someone carrying a banner or a cop looking at me like I used to look at food that I didn’t find on the ground I’ll break their neck.’_ He got on all fours on his couch and tried to remember what he did that time he pretended to go savage. _‘Yeah, my animal instinct will kick in and I will- I will…’_ He growled to himself, but since he didn’t want to bother his inexistent roommates and next door neighbors, he did it quietly, resulting in a sound that resembled the ones feral ghouls made in Fallout 3, which was something not present in the world of Zootopia, of course making Nick a sound designer and a creative genius.

…

Okay, that was enough, time to video call the baker. God, smartphones are the best.

It only took two beeps before Gideon connected, and there he was! The plump vulpine’s… nose. A few seconds of “can you see me? Can you see me now?” later they were facing each other; that was the best thing that happened to them that day.

“Giiiiid! You’re in a tiny screen! And you’re wearing your glasses!” Nick had a goofy smile stuck on his face and he felt lightheaded and a little dizzy, but he was happy to see his favorite fox again. Too bad he couldn’t touch him…

“I am! And you’re tiny too!” The baker wasn’t much better himself, their sleepless state was similar plus he had a day of work on his shoulders. Shenanigans and silliness aside, their conversation wasn’t too extraordinary; that was until Nick asked the younger about his day and he told him he had received a letter from the Hopps. Such letter was actually a binding agreement of sorts that forced Gideon to obey every order the lapin family gave him; so far their partnership had been an oral contract, but the rabbits wanted something more serious.

"Basically it says they’re in charge; they want a bigger cut for selling my stuff, they expand my responsibilities - which means they want me to do more things for them in exchange of absolutely nothing – and they can drop me anytime they want without any explanation if I don’t, uh- perform according to their expectations. Also, our business partnership will end if I don't respect it or if I don't sign it." Gideon had spent the entire morning going over it, making sure he understood everything written on that paper, and sadly he did; sad for the Hopps, at least. The baker knew that if he agreed to sign the contract, he was literally giving them his life.

“Why would they do that? I mean, you give them what they ask you for, right?” Nick didn’t like one bit of what he heard, and it was clear why; the rabbits wanted to enslave his boyfriend. Who the fuck did they think they were?

“Yeah, but I don’t really know, they haven’t said a thing; a mailmammal brought it this morning, but it had no stamps or anything. If I had to guess I’d say they think the leash is getting too loose and want to tie me short.” It was a rough comparison, but not necessarily inaccurate; surely they had noticed Gideon wasn’t as submissive as he used to, and that was their way of telling him they didn’t like it.

“Wait, do you have to sign it with a notary present?”

“No, there’s a note saying I gotta give it back signed but that’s all.”

“That thing has no legal value, you don’t have to sign it.” Gideon’s face asked what his mouth did not. Why did Nick know that? “I used to get in trouble sometimes, and I wasn’t gonna waste my hard earned cash on a lawyer, so I kinda learnt to represent myself; if there’s something I know about is illegal contracts.” Well, that was… convenient. And somewhat alleviating; considering what his old job consisted in and that he hadn’t slept in many cells, he couldn’t be too bad of a self-taught lawyer, even if his field was limited.

In any case, that didn’t help Gideon much. The loss of customers not agreeing would suppose was too great; he wouldn't only lose the mammals that bought his products from the Hopps, but given their reputation and his, the rumors and slander that'd surely spread would reduce his clientele even more. What was he supposed to do? The bakery was all he had.

Sure, maybe the contract wasn't legal, but that didn't mean much in the Burrows; whatever option he chose, he was damned. There was only one thing he knew without a doubt; he'd rather set his business on fire than let them have it. 

"What are you gonna do?" And Nick had one more thing to worry about too. Fuck, leaving Gideon’s side seemed like a mistake, but what would his hidden presence in the Burrows change? He could try to comfort him in person… and that’s it.

"I don't know... I'm thinking of going there tomorrow to talk about it." On the other paw, the baker didn’t look that concerned, at least on the outside; he was peeved more than anything. However, it confirmed his lucubration on what the Hopps thought about him wasn’t too wrong; once the pity and the manipulation were gone, they didn’t like the fox anymore.

"I wish I could help you, Gid, but I don't know how." Nick felt impotent once again that day. He knew his favorite fox could take care of himself, but there was a chance he would break down or perhaps retaliate for the rabbits’ offense.         

"You don't have to worry, this is my problem...” And his choice; no matter how much he loved Nick, his business was only his. “But anyway, no more sad stuff – we keep going back to that, damn it - what about your day?"

“Ah… well, I caught up on what the city’s been up to.” Nick proceeded to tell him what had kept him busy that morning, excluding some details about his conversations, mainly what Mr. Big told him about his parents and the emotional state of the Hopps’ descendant; Gideon’s relationship with Judy’s parents didn’t have that much to do with her, and at the time the baker surely didn’t want to hear anything related with the lapin family.

"It doesn't look like you're doing any better." That’s the impression the younger got from what the ex-officer said; and to think just twelve hours prior they were lying in Gideon’s bed thinking about nothing… was that going to become a trend? The world was going to yell “hey, fuck you” even louder as soon as they separated? Hopefully not, unless it meant they had to spend more time together in order to be in peace, which they wouldn’t oppose.

"Personally I'm okay, I just gotta avoid maniacs and the town hall; I guess I’m not going out much, but what I’m gonna miss the most is having sleepovers at the mayor’s.” The last thing he intended on doing was giving his Gid more shit to worry about; just like he said referring to the Hopps’ contract, that was his problem. Although it could be Gideon’s too if the whole killing foxes drama reached the Burrows, which was unlikely but not entirely impossible, or if he went back to Zootopia, which was… a possibility? If he had free time? Maybe? “And the guys look don’t look too bad, tired if anything; they've been working on solving their problems and I've already told them to ask me for anything they need."

"Aw, you're so nice." Perhaps Nick had in fact become more caring since their relationship started…

"What can I say? I don't want them to be homeless." He knew well about that, and it wasn't fun. He cared about them before meeting Gideon, of course, but who knows if the same thing would have happened prior to them meeting. Maybe a pat on the shoulder and a _“that’s rough, buddy”_ would have been all he had to offer back then.

"And are you gonna accept?"

"You mean Mr. Big's offer? I don't think so... that's not my thing, I'm not a spokesmammal." And the group he had to defend, even if it was at risk, was far from his cup of tea; more like a barrel of sewage.

"You're good at speaking." He was, sometimes, but he preferred to choose the topics himself; talking positively about something you hate sounds like some kind of modern shock therapy - like laughter therapy minus the laughter, and probably with a bigger audience.

"Yeah, but this is different, I wouldn’t be convincing anyone to buy a broken vacuum or telling you you’re very cute.”

“You too.”

“And I don't know if I can trust him; you think he'd really do something like helping foxes have a better life and not expect something in exchange?" As far as he knew, the arctic shrew’s intentions weren’t necessarily bad, but… fuck, he wasn’t a good guy.

"You know him better than I do, and my opinion of him is not good; you sure it's not a trap?"

"That's not his style, he doesn't kill anyone he's invited personally."

"That's... comforting." If he were to kill Nick he’d do it somewhere else? Sure, absolutely relieving; but to be fair, the baker was tired and the Hopps’ letter wouldn’t abandon his mind, and he knew his boyfriend wouldn’t let himself be killed that easily. He had seen that personally.

“You really think it’s a trap?”

“I don’t know, Nick. He called you after your dad died, you think he wants you to be the new fox boss or something?”

"No. Fuck that, absolutely not.” Besides, as far as he was concerned, the Mafioso didn’t approve of his father’s… life choices. “I might go one of these days and see what's all that about, but really, I’m leaving if he says something like that."

"Be careful, and tell me how it goes if you survive."

"Will do, Gid." They didn’t have much more to add, how were they supposed to say goodbye? Kissing the screen?

"I'm gonna eat something and take a nap, I didn't sleep much last night." Ah, Gideon had a good excuse.

"I know, it was my fault."

"It kinda was, yeah."

"But I already paid my bills, and as soon as I get this Mr. Big bullshit sorted out I'm coming back; I still have your clothes here." Nick had a good excuse too, though for a completely different purpose. Perhaps he could skip the mafia boss thing a go back with his Gid…?

"And I have almost eighty grand."

“I know they’re in good hands.” What was the former con artist supposed to do with that money anyway? He had more at home and in his bank account, and he liked knowing Gideon had a cushion just in case he could need it.

What followed was a moment of somewhat awkward silence; they didn't know what to do next since they weren't used to those types of calls - or many phone calls at that - but even if it pained them, there was only one way things would end like.

"Well... we hang up now?"

"I guess?"

"I miss you."

"You have no idea how much I'm missing you too."

"Talk again soon?"

"Please."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Not as good as the real thing, but some emotional support was better than nothing.

Science couldn't advance fast enough; when would they get teleportation? He couldn't touch his Gid, but maybe he could smell him. Perhaps his scent was still stuck to the sheets they shared or to the clothes that came in his suitcase, and he could-

"No, I'm not doing that. I'm not that creepy."

Okay then. Nick would find another way to entertain himself. In fact, one thing he did miss about Zootopia was his bathtub; after a week of showering in a tiny square that hated him and all the stress he had avoided being dumped on him all at once he could use a relaxing bath. He stripped down, went to his bathroom, and sat in the tub as it started filling with warm water; yeah, that felt great. To his right he noticed the bath salts he used the night Gideon and he first mated for real, and why not, he poured some; the vanilla scent brought back memories, pleasant memories.

Memories that caused a physical reaction, memories he was fond of and led the movement of his paws, and such remembrance culminated in a white stain on his fur.

“Fuck, this isn’t the same.”

At least now he had something that’d go away if he washed it off. The rest occupied his mind for the rest of the day. Decisions, decisions…

When it finally came, sleep was welcome with open arms.

And the following morning, an unexpected visitor was at his door.

“You… I know you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have nothing to write here. Some other times I think of some dumb shit to add as author notes, but I'm blanking now. Like, I don't know, did your local mall Santa tell you he'd give you an extra present if you went with him to the Target's parking lot?


End file.
